THE ALPHA WHO KNELT

Chapter 17

The words hit me like ice water. Fragments of memory began to surface, the frustration, the longing, the decision that I couldn't wait any longer. "I followed you upstairs," Damien said firmly. "I stood guard at the top of the stairs to make sure nobody came near her room while you were... occupied."

"No," I whispered.

"Yes," Damien said firmly. "I was there for hours, Ronan. f*****g hours. Nobody could get past me to interrupt you two. And when you finally came out of her room around three in the morning, you had this stupid, satisfied grin on your face. You reeked of s*x and Elara's scent."

More memories surfaced. The feeling of completion, of finally being exactly where I belonged. Whispered endearments in the darkness. The sense that something fundamental had changed. Elara's soft sighs, her hands in my hair, the way she'd looked at me with absolute love and trust.

"You clapped me on the shoulder and said best night of my life, brother.

She's perfect," Damien continued.

"Then you stumbled to your room and passed out. I went to bed thinking you'd finally claimed your mate properly."

He paused, his expression growing darker. "The next morning, I woke up to see you all over Vivica in the dining hall. I assumed you were just keeping up appearancesmaking sure nobody would suspect what had happened between you and Elara the night before."

But that's not..." I started, then stopped. The memory of waking up next to Vivica felt so real, so solid.

"You convinced yourself it was all with Vivica," Damien said quietly. "Maybe because you felt guilty about not waiting. Maybe because it was easier than dealing with the reality of what you'd done. But it happened, Ronan. You were with Elara that night, and now she's carrying your pup."

My blood ran cold. The fragmented memories Damien was describing began to slot into place, not as a dream, but as a horrifying reality. The way she had looked at me with such trust.

Her whispered, "I love you." The feeling of her body yielding to mine. It hadn't been a drunken fantasy. It had been real. And I had just called the most precious moment of my life a lie and banished the woman at the center of it.

How could I have been so stupid?

"There's something else," Damien continued relentlessly. "If Elara had been with another man, you would have felt it. The mate bond would have caused you physical pain from her betrayal. Did you feel any pain, Ronan? Any sense that she'd been unfaithful?"

I thought back over the past few months, searching for any sign of the agony that should have accompanied a mate's infidelity. Since I was of age, I would have felt it. Elara would not have felt anything while I was satisfying my Alpha needs with any she-wolf available over the last few years, since she wasn’t yet of age. That was one of the excuses I’d used to justify my actions. There had been nothing; I hadn’t felt any signs of betrayal. If anything, I'd felt more content than usual, more satisfied with life.

"Oh goddess," I breathed, the full weight of what I'd done crashing over me. "What have I done?"

"You rejected and banished your pregnant mate," Damien said coldly. "You humiliated her and sent her out into the human world alone and terrified."

I looked at the clock on my office wall. It had been over an hour since I'd given Elara thirty minutes to leave. She was gone. Really, truly gone.

"I have to find her," I said desperately, jumping to my feet. "I have to bring her back"

"It's too late," Damien said harshly. "She's been gone for over thirty minutes. She could be anywhere by now.

But I can track her"

"Can you? You severed the mate bond and banished her. Can you still feel her or her wolf?"

The question hung in the air like a sword over my head. I thought about the look in Elara's eyes as I'd called her a w***e, the way she'd crumbled when I'd banished her. The heartbreak and betrayal I'd seen there.

"She'll forgive me," I said weakly. "She loves me."

"Loved," Damien corrected. "Past tense. And can you blame her?"

I couldn't. I'd taken the most precious thing she had to offerher love, her trust, her bodyand then forgotten about it completely. When she'd tried to tell me the truth, I'd called her a liar and a w***e. And now she was out there somewhere, carrying my child, believing I'd thrown her away like garbage.

"How do I fix this?" I whispered.

Damien stared at me for a long moment, then shook his head. "I don't know if you can. Or even if you should. That girl deserves better than what you've given her."

He turned and walked toward the door, then paused with his hand on the handle.

"When you find herif you find herdon't expect her to fall into your arms with gratitude. You've got a lot of groveling to do before you earn the right to even speak to her again."

He left, and I was alone with the weight of my mistakes.

Somewhere out there, Elara was carrying my child and believing that I'd thrown her away like garbage.

The discovery that should have brought us together had instead torn us apart.

And it was entirely my fault.