INFILTRATION

ME OUT, HIM IN

As I stepped into the hallway, I saw her - the girl from the other day, the one with the big attitude. I had seen her severally in the hallway, had even stumbled upon the class she was in.

I tried to see what it was about her that attracted me apart from that nasty attitude, but I came up empty.

She walked the opposite end of the hall and went out of sight and for the second time, I watched as she did.

“She must be something for you to keep her a secret, chief.”

I closed my locker and Varag came into view. “Who?”

“The girl from the other night.” He nudged me, smiling like we shared a secret. “The one I never got to see.”

Understanding flooded me, and I shook my head.

Varag is set in the theory the reason I didn’t stay for the party was because I ran off to the marshlands with a girl and she in turn ran off before anyone could see her.

Lame, right?

“Alright, let’s get this straight - I wasn’t . . .”

“You were.” He raised his brow at me, and I’m gonna find out who she is.

I shook my head and hung my bagpack on my shoulder. “Knock yourself out.”

“Yo, you actually attended all your lectures today?” He looked surprisingly at me and I shrugged. “That’s . . . new.”

I shrugged once more as we began walking away from the school and towards the den.

I was living there full time now and I knew it was one of the biggest mistake I’d made because I never had any time to myself. It was either one party or the other or the guys meeting up to plan a raid on a house.

I always tried to stop them and it worked - mostly, other times they did as they pleased.

I was getting tired of it all, but I couldn’t go back to Harry’s.

Never!

“Terobe. . . .”

“What?” I’d been doing that a lot lately. Snapping.

It started that day at the marshlands when I’d woken up and had no recollection of how I’d gotten there. I had a dream while I was passed out on the ground. I knew it was an important one, but for the life of me I just couldn’t recollect what it was about. That wasn’t the first time it was happening.

Hardly would I have closed my eyes and I’d see and hear people speaking. It was all a blur at best, and extremely confusing.

Unfortunately, I had no on one to talk to about it. The guys would think I was going cookoo if I dared tell them, so I shut up and got even more confused.

I noticed Varag staring at me like he was trying to figure something out.

“Looks like something’s bothering you.”

When he saw he didn’t get any response from me, he continued. “You know you can talk to me anytime you like.”

“Yes, mother.”

He laughed and just like that, the bad air between us cleared.

We made small talk as we walked the small distance to the den. One thing about Maclaud town; it was small and one could walk anywhere on foot, so cars weren’t really needed except maybe to get out of town. Only a few people had cars, including Old Danny gap tooth who was recently murdered.

I suddenly noticed Varag was taking a different route and I had been so lost in thought, I had followed him unknowingly.

He stopped suddenly and turned to me. That was when I noticed we had stopped on the other side of the edge of the forest.

The door to it opened and Devon came out. He was quickly followed by the other guys. Just when I was about to ask what was up, Ureo stepped out. There was something about him that seemed different. He seemed different.

The guys stood all around me, forming a circle. I realized I was the only one inside it. When Varag disappeared from beside me, I hadn’t known.

Ureo stepped out of the circle to my left and joined me inside, then Varag moved and closed the gap he made. “We wanna go for a raid outta town tomorrow night and we would like you to join us.”

Even before he finished speaking, I knew what it was all about. I had been expecting it ever since I saw him at the den smiling smugly.

“You already know my answer to that.” I didn’t say yes, neither did I say no, but he knew. They all knew what I was saying without actually saying it.

Varag was the next to speak. “You sure about that, chief?”

Ureo gave a little laugh, shook his head and moved closer to me. “Well you see, chief . . .” He started mockingly, “I have a . . .” His hand rose in the air and swung in an arc as he pointed at all the guys. “We all have a problem with that. If you’re not with us, then you’re definitely against us.”

Echoes of ‘that’s right’ and ‘hear hear’, rose from the other guys, and my heart sank.

I had been expecting this but not this soon, and definitely not when I had just recently settled into the den.

They all turned away as my eyes settled on each of their faces.

Devin was a scared runaway when I stumbled upon him on my way back from a raid with Ureo. I’d taken one look at his scrawny body and seen myself in him. Ureo had kicked against him coming back to the den with us, but I’d put my foot down and that’s how he came to live at the den. There was Gavin, who ran away from his mother because his step father used to use him as a punching bag, or was it Varag, who I saw sitting on the pavement outside the police station; he’d just been released by the sheriff His parents had moved out of town without a word to him and he didn’t have a place to go.

Each of them had a story - each of them I had somehow helped, and now it seemed they’d all turned on me.

My eyes settled on Ureo and I knew he was the reason for all of this. He must have somehow convinced them to go against me.

“Alright.” I finally managed to say. “I’ll move out of the den tomorrow evening.”

“How about now?” Ureos eyes were cold as he stared at me.

No one said a word. They didn’t really have to. It was clear I was out and he was back in.

That was fine by me.

But why then did I feel this dull ache in the pit of my stomach?

I wanted to punch Ureo in the face, wanted to tell him to f**k off. I wanted to make the guys know when the going got tough, he would leave them high and dry, but nstead, I looked up and smiled. “Cool.”

Without a backward glance, I walked towards Varag. He moved aside, opening up the circle. I expected him to call me, stop me, or at worst, say goodbye, but nothing of that sort happened, and so I walked off, not bothering to look back.

There was nothing there for me anymore.

At the den, I crammed my whole belongings - two pairs of jeans; both black, four hooded tops, one t shirt, and a jacket - into my rucksack.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

I don’t remember what I was thinking on the walk to the den, but I definitely remember what I thought as I left with my things and never looked back.

It was over.

The air had grown thinner and it was getting cold. I remember I was only wearing a thin t shirt but didn’t seem to feel anything other then an internal heat.

On and on I walked. Where I was going to stay the night or even the rest of my life, beat me. There were no more uninhabited uncompleted buildings in Maclaud, so that was not even an option. I couldn’t go back to Harry’s, that wasn’t an option either.

There was just nowhere I could go to.

I remember looking at the rapidly darkening sky and thinking it was over for me. At a point, my feet became sore and I couldn’t walk anymore. They gave way and I slumped to the ground.

Just before I blacked out, I saw legs, and a pair of sandals stop in front of me. The only thing I remember thinking before I blacked out was - it’s all over for me.