The Doorman

Shadows That Followed me Home

“Susan, I cannot believe Steven threatened all of you.” 

“Please do not come back to the park. Stay away. We can handle ourselves.”

“I worry about you ladies. You are all the family I have here.”

“Nothing is going to happen to any of us. Just promise me, you will not return.”

“I promise.”

“What about John?”

“What about him?”

“Are you going to tell him what is going on?”

“I am thinking about it. I realize hiding away is not the answer.”

“Should I give him your address? That way you guys can speak privately without interruptions.”

“Let me think about it, I’ll get back to you in a day or two. It is getting late, I should go give Sara dinner and a bath. We will chat later. Bye.”

“Later.”

I picked Sara up and carried her in my arms as we left Susan’s apartment to get to the elevator up to the fifth floor. I arrived at the elevator, pushed the button, and waited about three minutes before the elevator arrived. Upon entering the elevator, I saw a guy I had not seen before; he did not look like he lived in the building. The way he was fidgeting, he was tapping his feet, constantly running his fingers through his hair, and rubbing the back of his neck.

He made me very uncomfortable. I could not wait until I got to my floor. I was holding on to Sara really tight. As soon as the elevator stopped and the doors parted, I bolted out and ran, looking behind me to see if he was following. I fished out my key so I could be ready to unlock the door. When I got to the door, I placed the key in the lock and turned it. Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me. “Katie.” I froze, rooted in fear and confusion; muscles locked in place, and my movement halted mid-motion. My heart rate spiked, instantly shifting from calm to high alertness.

“Did he just call my name?” I slowly turned around and found the man from the elevator standing behind me.

“Don’t be afraid. I am not going to hurt you. My name is Wilson. I am Steven’s brother. I am just here to talk.”

My jaw dropped.

Please, I need to speak with you.”

“Wh-wh-what? What was that?”

“Can I come in?”

I shook my head vigorously, signally no.

’Why not?”

I try to squeeze out a word, but it comes out as a squeaky, high-pitched gasp. I swallowed hard, trying to clear the lump in my throat. “I—I...—can’t.” I shook my head again, the terror forcing me to look down t the floor, my breath coming in short, raggedy gasp.

“It is important.”

I open my mouth, but only a chocked, wet noise comes out. I can feel tears pricking my eyes, I’m so terrified. I shook my head again, desperately trying to communicate that I needed to go. “P-please... I-I can’t...N-no... I press my lips together, sealing them tight, refusing to let another broken word out, and continue to desperately shake my head.

“I am trying to help you with the problem you are having with Steven.”

I looked up at him, eyes widening in surprise. “Y-You do?”

“Yes, I do.”

I swallowed, took a deep breath and said, not here. After work, meet me downstairs at five o’clock.

“Okay.”

I quickly opened the door, removed the key, entered, shut the door behind me and locked it. I could not wait for the day to be over to hear what he had to tell me. I placed Sara in her walker and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. She had fish sticks and broccoli. After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen and gave my girl a bath, dressed her in her pajamas, and we sat to read a book. A few minutes later, Sara’s dad walked in. I kissed Sara, gathered my things and said my goodbyes.

With urgency, I left the apartment, dashed to the elevator, and pushed the button several times. Remembering that I hadn’t told Susan yet, I quickly called her while waiting for the elevator. I told her exactly where to find me as soon as she was off work.

“Are you sure you want to meet with him?” Susan said.

“What choice do I have? He said he wanted to help. I will meet him in a public place so he will not be able to do anything to me. The Starbucks on the corner is where I will be.”

“Please be careful.”

“I will.”

The elevator finally arrived. I got in, pushed the button for the lobby. It seemed like it took forever just to get there. The doors parted and I rushed out. Getting to the doors to exit the building, I waved to Tony and saw Wilson sitting outside waiting for me. I approached him cautiously. Standing at a distance, I said we would be going to Starbucks. I walked away, and he followed. I crossed the street, and the Starbucks was on the corner. I opened the door and entered. Wilson followed close behind. I found a corner table, so we could speak privately.

“Wilson approached the table and asked would you like something to drink while we speak?”

“A Chai latte. Thank you.”

“I will be right back.”

He walked up to the counter and the barista asked. “What can I get for you today?”

“Two Chai lattes, please!” He paid and waited for the orders, then picked up the drinks and brought them to our table. Wilson placed a drink in front of me, then sat on the opposite side of me. I took a sip of the hot drink and exhaled. I am sitting at the table, staring at the steam rising from my cup while I nervously bounce my knee, just waiting for the silence to break and the difficult conversation to finally begin.

“I am sorry, I am so very sorry.”

I looked up in total shock. My eyes wide open to their maximum extent. My eyebrows raised and arched, which creates winkles across my forehead. Jaw drops, causing my mouth to open.

“What did you say?”

“I said,” I am truly sorry for what my brother is doing to you.”

“How did you find out?”

I followed him to work and saw him speaking with you. The expression on your face said it all. I do not know the specifics of what is happening, but I do know that you are in distress.

“This is not the first time my brother has been fixated on a girl. He has done this several times before, and I have always brushed it under the rug. This time he is totally obsessed with you. Your pictures are everywhere in his room, on his phone, in the apartment. I hear him call your name in his sleep, and now he plays videos of you in the park.

“What!, videos? Where did he get videos and pictures of me?”

“He has his ways. Here is the number of the park administration office. Ask for Cynthia. Tell her what is going on, and she will take care of the rest.”

“What will happen to him?”

" He will most likely get kicked out of the park and will no longer be allowed to return. I will get him some help. I should have done this a long time ago.”

“Thank You.”

“No. Don’t thank me. I am so embarrassed about this whole situation. I have to go now. Here is my number. If he happens to find you again, please do not hesitate to call me.”

I took the paper with his number and placed it in my purse. I gave him a small smile, then he turned and walked away. Just as he was walking out the door, Susan was walking in; I waved at her, and she sat in the seat that Wilson just left.

’Was that him leaving?”

“Yes, apparently, this is not the first time Steven has behaved this way. I am not his first victim. I did not ask his brother all the details, because I did not want to know.

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“First thing in the morning, I will call Cynthia from the administrative office and fill her in.

“Will you be calling John?”

“Yes, I will have him meet me at a café close to the train station.”

“Go ahead, text him quickly before he leaves work.”

“I am so nervous.” Hey! Are you busy?

“No. Never too busy for you.”

“Can you meet me at Café Joyeux after work?”

“I will be there.”

Susan and I left Starbucks, and we walked to the train station. Susan was taking the number five train going downtown to Brooklyn. I gave her a hug and said, “I will see you in the morning.” I watched Susan descend the stairs for the train. I turned to walk in the direction of the café. Walking on the sidewalk, I came to an alley between two buildings, when someone placed their hand over my mouth and grabbed me forcefully.

I could not see the person’s face, but I heard that familiar voice. “You think you can hide from me?”

My eyes became huge in my head, my heart sank, and my heart was beating fast, my breathing was shallow, and I began sweating. I tried screaming, but to no avail.

He walked backwards with me in front of him. His right hand is still over my mouth and his left hand around my waist. He licked and kissed my neck.

“You taste so good,” he whispered in my ear.

Tears pricked my eyes and started trickling down my face.

“I will kiss away all your tears when I make sweet love to you tonight.”

“Shaking my head vigorously, and trying to form words that cannot be heard.”

Steven drags me further into the dark alley. It smells of mold and wet garbage. He rips my top. He ripped a piece of my shirt, jamming it over my mouth and tying it tight behind my head. Then other piece he ties my hands behind my back. During this time, I am still trying to convey a no-no to him. He throws me to the ground, and he falls on top of me. There was a faint light luminating the small area where we were. He then looked at my upper body and said f*****g beautiful.

Steven cupped my breast and squeezed it. I can feel his cold clammy hands on me. I was trembling, muscles tensing up. I was disgusted. Just then someone pulled him off of me. My eyes are huge, my heart is racing. I don’t know what is happening. There is a fight, but I do not know who is there. It was a chaotic symphony of violence, where the lack of sight made the sounds seem much louder and jarring. The air was thick with the smell of wet pavement, garbage and the metallic tang of blood.

Heavy boots scraping against concrete, frantic, punctuated by the sudden, sharp thuds of someone stumbling against a brick wall. Deep labored breathing could be heard, a quick sssshhh sound when a punch is thrown, followed by heavy gasps. A sickening, heavy thud when a fist hits the cheek, jaw and ribs. It is not a clean sound, but rather a soft, meaty impact. A shallow, hollow, and more distinct crack when the knuckle connects with the nose, a sound that makes an observer flinch.

There were grunts and groans. Involuntary sounds of pains and sharp wheezes. A heavy, dull thud as a body hits the concrete, followed by the sound of dragging. The sound of a body hitting a puddle on the ground, creating a splash and a slap sound. Sudden, heavy pauses where only breathing is heard. Footsteps of someone approaching me.

“Are you okay?”

“I know that voice. I heard it today. I thought to myself

“Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?”

“You are probably wondering how I found you. I was following Steven, and he led me to you. I was across the street when I saw he had taken you. I tried to get to you sooner, but with the heavy crowds, rush hour and all, I am so sorry. I am going to come close, pick you up and untie you. Okay.”

I nodded my head.

After he picked me up, untied my hands and mouth, I released a breath I did not know I was holding. As I placed my hand over my chest to cover myself, Wilson turned around, removed his jacket, handed it to me with his back turned. I put it on to cover my nakedness. My phone began ringing, I knew it was John calling. I took the phone out of my purse, took a deep breath and exhaled, unlocked it, then answered the call.

“Hello.”

“Hey! I am here at the café. Where are you?”

“Change of plans. Can you meet me on the uptown side of the train station?”

“Sure. Are you OK?”

“I will explain when I see you.”

Wilson walked me to the train station and waited until John arrived. When John arrived, he looked between me and Wilson with a puzzled expression.

Wilson looked at me and said, “I am truly sorry again, and walked away.”

I looked disheveled and John asked. Are you alright?”

“I am now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I could not hold it any longer. I brought my head down and began sobbing. John reached out and held me in his arms. I felt safe. I was wet, dirty and smelled.

“I need to get home. I need a shower.”

“Ok. Can I take you?

I shook my head, indicating yes.

“John flagged down a cab, he opened the door, and helped me in. I scooted over to make room for him, then he closed the door, and I gave the cab driver my address, and he drove off. On the ride to my apartment, we did not speak, he just held me and I let him. Forty-five minutes later, we arrived at my apartment. I reached into my purse to pay the cab driver but John said.

“I got it.”

I removed my keys from my purse and unlocked the door to my building. We walked up to the second floor to get to my apartment. I got to my door, unlocked it, and invited John inside.

“Make yourself home, I will go take a shower.

’Thank you.”

While in the shower, I was hunched over, the scene from the alley was on replay in my mind. I just could not wash the image of his face and stop shaking even under the hot water. I cried and cried and cried some more. Twenty-five minutes later, I was out, dressed in gray sweats pants and a hoodie. I was ready to talk to John and tell him everything from the beginning. I would not mention all the details of my assault, I will be keeping that part out.

Looking around Katie’s apartment, I saw photos of her and her family. She had a really nice place, which was nicely decorated. I couldn’t stop my mind from obsessively replaying the evening, especially the moment Katie was assaulted.

I am so happy she is OK. What did that bastard do to her? If I get my hands on him, it will be the last thing he ever does. What if he..? I can’t think in that way. What if she gets pregnant? Am I ready to be father to someone else’s baby? Maybe she will not keep it, maybe she will have an abortion. What I’m saying. She is taking a shower and getting cleaned up. All I can do is be their for here. But I will have to know what exactly happened in that alley.

I walked out of my bedroom to find John sitting on the sofa on his phone. He quickly got up and walked over to me.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“A little.”

“Have you been crying? Your eyes look puffy.”

I shrugged and did not answer.

“Would you like some tea?” I asked John.

“Sure.”

Fill the electic kettle with water, then place it in the center of the power base. I plugged it in and turned it on. While waiting for the water to boil, I turned to John and said, I will tell you everything from the moment I met him. I placed two mugs on the kitchen counter with jasmine tea bags in each one. A louche “click” sound came from the kettle indicating that the water was ready. I poured water into the two mugs, then placed the kettle back. I handed John a mug and sat on the sofa next to him. I took a deep breath and started. The vendor at the park...... And that is when you saw us at the train station.

“Did he hurt you? Do you have any bruises?”

“He did, but I will be OK. I don’t know. I did not check. I am a little shaken up, but grateful Wilson came when he did. The outcome would have been......I don’t even want to think about it.

“So that’s his jacket you were wearing?”

“Yes. My shirt was.......well no more. I made sure to tell him every detail of my assault.

“Come here. I don’t know what I would have done if anything happened to you. John engulfed me in a hug, and we remained like this for a good minute. I cried on his shoulder and began shaking again. He rubbed soothing circles on my back and placed an ever so gentle kiss on my head. I finally pulled away, wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeves, and said, I have to place a call to my boss.

I excused myself and went to my bedroom for privacy. When the call connected, my employer, Beth, said, Hello, Katie. I immediately choked on my words.

“Katie, what’s wrong?” The concern in her voice was imminent.

“Beth, I was attacked. She was shocked.

“Where? When?”

“I was meeting a friend at Café Joyeux, when someone grabbed me. I am OK now, but still shaken up.”

“I am so sorry to hear that. Did they catch him? ”

“He took off when someone came to my aide.”

“So happy you are alright. Take the rest of the week off to recover, and I will see you on Monday.”

“Thank you so much.”

When I returned to the living room, I noticed a look on John’s face that had not been there before. He looked at me.

“John, is everything OK? I will totally understand if you want to leave and.......”

“He quickly got up, no, don’t say that. I am just feeling sorry that I could not help you. Anytime anything happens, I need you to tell me, OK. I need you to promise me.”

“I promise.”

“What did your boss say?”

“She gave me the rest of the week to recover.”

’Really! I have an idea, but, first have you had dinner?”

“No, I have not. Allow me to order something for us to eat. What would you like? My treat today? You have spoiled me enough.”

“That is the way it should be.”

“What would you like for dinner?”

Is Chinese food OK?”

“Yes. Kung Pao chicken for me. Thank you.”

“Great.”

“Let me make a call. John said

John made his call while I was ordering dinner. When John was through, he walked back to the sofa. I told him dinner would be here in fifteen minutes.

“Would it be possible to spend the day with you tomorrow?”

“I would love that.”

The door buzzer rang, and I realized the food had arrived, so I announced it. I ordered chicken with broccoli, a ginger ale, and a sprite for John. We decided to watch Speed on Netflix. While we ate. After making small talk about the movie, we realized it was still playing after dinner, so we paused it, threw away the trash, and washed our hands.

I went to my linen closet and grabbed a blanket, then went to the sofa to join John, where we could cuddle while fishing up our movie. John had his arm around me, I felt truly safe and relaxed. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed.