The Doorman

Five Months of Her

I have been working as a doorman for a year and six months, right out of high school. A friend of my dad’s helped me land this job. This kind of job is hard to get—and when you find it, no one ever leaves. This job has great health benefits, a fantastic 401K, and generous PTO. Don’t even get me started about the bonus we get for the holidays.

The building itself has its own rhythm—marble floors that always stay just a little too cold, brass doors that catch the morning light like they’re pretending to be gold, and tenants who pass through like they own the air they breathe. I learned the routines fast. The nods, the names, the fake smiles. I became part of the background of their lives.

Still, none of that ever made my heart race the way she did.

I will never forget the day I laid eyes on her.

It wasn’t anything dramatic—no music, no slow motion—just another busy New York day. Cars honking, people shouting, the usual chaos.

And then… there she was.

She was running while crossing the street, weaving through people like she had done it a hundred times before. Her long curly black hair whipped behind her, caught in the wind, moving like it had a life of its own.

Everything else blurred.

For a second, even the noise of the city felt distant, like someone had turned the volume down just so I could notice her.

I leaned forward slightly, trying to catch more of her—anything.

I couldn’t tell if her eyes were brown or black from where I was standing, but I didn’t need to. There was something about her face, her skin—smooth, glowing even in the dull city light. Light-skinned, but not in a way I could easily place. She could have passed for European.

One might say she looked… exotic.

Before I even realized what I was doing, my feet had already moved.

I was outside.

The cold air hit my face, but I barely felt it.

She took my breath away.

That’s not even an exaggeration—I actually forgot how to breathe for a second.

Our eyes met.

And I smiled.

It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t smooth. It just… happened.

To my surprise—she smiled back.

My heart leaped, pounding hard against my chest like it was trying to break free.

People in New York don’t do that.

They don’t stop. They don’t notice. They don’t smile at strangers unless there’s a reason.

But she did.

And just like that… she was gone.

Lost in the crowd.

Like the city swallowed her whole the second I blinked.

From that day on, I started noticing time differently.

Mornings meant one thing.

Evenings meant another.

Because that’s when I would see her.

She passed by like clockwork—on her way to work in the morning, and again in the evening when she was heading home. And every single time, I was stuck doing my job—opening doors, carrying bags, hailing cabs.

Always busy.

Always just missing my chance.

I didn’t know where she worked.

Didn’t know where she lived.

Didn’t even know her name.

“I had thought about putting my name and number on a piece of paper and slipping it to her. However, the opportunity never presented itself.”

And that was the worst part.

So close… and still nothing.

Alec, my best friend, is the only one I have told about this mystery girl.

For five months—five long months—she had been stuck in my head.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her.

Her hair.

Her smile.

The way she looked at me that first day.

Someday soon, I told myself, I would get the chance to speak to her.

Even if it was just for a moment.

“I told him today is that day,” I said to Alec one morning. “My friend, you shall see my girl.”

We stood there together, waiting.

The sidewalk felt different that day. Every passing second felt stretched, like the world itself was delaying her arrival just to test me.

And then—

Like clockwork.

There she was.

Walking by herself, just like always.

Her pace calm, effortless, like she wasn’t aware she was the center of someone else’s entire world.

Our eyes met again.

I smiled.

Then winked.

Something I had only started doing about a month ago—testing the waters, seeing if she’d respond.

She did.

Every time.

A small flicker of recognition. A slight lift at the corner of her lips. Like she understood the language without us ever speaking it.

“That’s her,” I said, my voice low but filled with something I couldn’t quite hide. “In the blue jeans and black jacket.”

I watched her cross the street until she disappeared into the crowd again, that same familiar feeling settling in my chest.

“I said, So what are you—”

I stopped mid-sentence.

Because I turned to look at Alec…

And caught that fool staring.

Drooling.

Completely gone.

“Dude!” I shouted, slapping him on the back.

He blinked a couple of times, snapping out of it.

Then swallowed hard.

“She is very beautiful,” he admitted.

I smirked. “You think?”

“Do you think she has a sister?”

I laughed. “I don’t even know her name.”

We both chuckled, but beneath it, there was something real.

Because I didn’t.

And that bothered me more than I wanted to admit.

After work, we went to our favorite pub around the corner from our apartment.

The place smelled like grease and beer, the low hum of conversation filling the space. It was familiar. Comfortable.

But even there… my mind drifted.

I saw her in reflections. In passing faces. In every movement near the door.

We had burgers and fries, a couple of beers.

Alec leaned back in his chair. “So when will you talk to her?”

I let out a breath, running a hand through my hair.

“I don’t know, man. I’m always so busy when she passes by.”

“Dude,” he said, shaking his head, “it’s been what—five months?”

“I know.”

The words felt heavier than they should have.

“I’m starting to think I’ll never speak with her.”

Alec reached over, patting me on the back.

“You will. Have patience, my friend.”

Patience.

Easy for him to say.

We played pool and darts for the rest of the evening, laughing, joking, trying to act like everything was normal.

But it wasn’t.

Not for me.

We left around ten. I had work early, didn’t want to risk a hangover.

I had been with girls before—high school, casual stuff. Nothing serious. Nothing that stuck.

Nothing like this.

I didn’t even know her.

And yet—

She had completely taken over my thoughts.

I didn’t understand it.

Didn’t understand why her.

Why this girl, who I had never spoken to, had such a hold on me.

I didn’t know her name.

Her number.

Nothing.

And yet, every morning, I woke up excited just to go to work.

Just for the chance to see her.

I had played it out in my head a hundred times.

What I would say.

How I would say it.

Where I would take her on our first date.

Would she laugh?

Would she smile the same way?

Would she even say yes?

At least I got to see her every day.

That was something.

I had even switched schedules with my coworkers—just to make sure I was there when she passed by.

That’s how bad it had gotten.

Girls still flirted with me when I went out with Alec.

I used to go for it.

One-night stands. No strings.

But now?

Nothing.

No interest.

No desire.

Just her.

“I am young, and I am not looking to settle down… but holy s**t this girl has taken up a permanent resident in my head.”

And then the thoughts started creeping in.

What if she already has a boyfriend?

What if she’s living with him?

What if she’s engaged?

Married?

I clenched my jaw.

I need to check for a ring.

I shook my head.

I didn’t want to think like that.

Didn’t want Alec’s voice in my head.

But I couldn’t stop.

“I’m going nuts,” I muttered to myself that night, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.

The room felt too quiet, like it was amplifying every thought I tried to ignore.

I needed sleep.

But all I could see… was her.

The next morning, I took the train to work.

The doors slid open with a familiar hiss, and I stepped out into the street already scanning.

And there she was.

Standing at the corner.

Waiting to cross the street.

My angel.

Okay.

This is it.

This is my chance.

I took a step forward—

And then the elevator doors opened behind me.

Voices.

Footsteps.

“Good morning.”

And just like that—

I was back to work.

The moment gone.

Like the city had stolen her from me again on purpose.

Maybe tomorrow.

Spring came.

And with it… new distractions.

She wore black leggings and a white top that hugged her just enough, covered everything it needed to, leaving the rest to imagination. A short black jacket at her waist. White Converse.

Simple.

Effortless.

Perfect.

“She looked absolutely stunning in that outfit.”

I shook my head slightly.

“This girl could pull clothes out of a dumpster and still make it work.”

And the thing I liked most?

She didn’t try too hard.

No midriff.

No cleavage.

Just… her.

I had it bad.

No denying it.

“If only I could talk to her…”

Just her name.

That would’ve been enough.

Her smile—it lit up my day.

Carried me through every shift.

Gave me something to look forward to.

Alec kept telling me to be patient.

If only he knew.

Five months.

Five months of watching her from a distance.

Five months of silence.

And it was getting harder.

Every single day.

Then summer came.

And so did she.

Denim shorts, mid-thigh. Not too long, not too short. Black t-shirt. Black Converse. Hair tied back in a ponytail.

And that smile.

Always that smile.

It hit me the same way every time.

Like the first time.

It was a busy Tuesday morning.

I already knew—I wasn’t going to get my chance.

Not today.

By one in the afternoon, things finally slowed down.

A tenant asked for a cab.

I stepped outside, raised my hand, flagged one down.

Routine.

Familiar.

She got in.

I closed the door.

Tapped twice on the roof.

Turned to head back inside—

And then I saw her.

My angel.

Walking toward me.

Time slowed.

Everything else disappeared.

The noise, the traffic, even my own thoughts faded out like they didn’t matter anymore.

My feet moved on their own.

Faster this time.

No hesitation.

No thinking.

Just movement.

And suddenly—

We were face to face.

This was it.

Five months.

And now—

Nothing.

My mind went completely blank.

Every word I had ever practiced… gone.

Vanished.

I opened my mouth—

“They’re brown.”

The words fell out before I could stop them.

I froze.

Who the hell starts a conversation like that?

She tilted her head, confused.

And for a split second, I thought—

I blew it.

Completely.

Then—

She smiled.

And just like that…

Everything else disappeared.

Every doubt.

Every fear.

Gone.

Mission accomplished.

But the real work starts now.