Devil's Toy

Chapter 5

We were moving quickly towards Michael's drop-off point. I could see the congestion of angels start to form. Anxiety crept up my spine. Today had been all too much for me to handle. I had somehow met God without meeting him. I had been informed that a 'maybe' evil being was to be under my guidance. And I had spent more time with Michael than my emotional bank could handle.

"Michael?"

I stopped moving while halfway through a cloud.

He turned to look at me quickly. His head tilted sideways in obvious confusion.

"What's wrong, love?"

I loved hearing his sweet and concerned tone. Unfortunately, it made it harder to hide my emotions from this realm.

"I think I'm too tired today." I smiled up at him. I tried to hide my sadness but knew Michael would see through me.

He moved closer to me, his golden aura filling my vision. Of all of Gods' creations, he was the most beautiful. He raised a hand, maybe to push my hair back behind my ear or maybe to caress my cheek. Both things I would have been happy to feel at this moment. In a realm where your love was reserved without your decision, sometimes selfishness would form. It would creep up on you like bile up the throat. It wasn't a sensation I liked to feel, but all I wanted was Michael. And he was all I couldn't have.

His hand dropped back to his side as quickly as he had picked it up. I knew he was fighting against the same feelings within himself. I knew Michael far too intimately as a person to not know what his mind was racing through. Tears threatened to bubble up at the edges of my view, but I forced them away. Don't pity me. I have been through this with Michael countless times over our course of existence. How could we not? We were created by the same hands, with the same purposes. Two peas in a pod, as the humans would say. We gave friendship a good hard try. It worked on most days, but today wasn't one of them.

Michael gave me a soft nod, knowing without words what I was feeling. He turned and left without a single word. It was true that for centuries I avoided Michael. I tried to live without him by my side. But God caught on and put an end to it. Sometimes I would stand and watch his silhouette disappear. The ache in my heart was too heavy, and I couldn't find it in myself to watch him leave. My mind was heavier with more than just Michael. I envied Peter and his unwavering loyalty to our creator. I envied all creatures of my realm and yours that could devote themselves so wholly.

I turned slowly and made my way back to my office. I tried to straighten out my shoulders and move in a normal manner. I tried to control the flapping of my wings. I didn't want to come off as frantic. I usually passed too many angels on my way back and didn't want to alarm them. Despite only being able to feel love for God and humans, some angels here felt a hunger to please him at all costs. If I looked off to the wrong angel, my time here could end.

Reaching my doors after waving to only a handful of angels, I rushed in and shut the door behind me. I tossed myself into my desk chair and slumped over. I let my head fall into my hands, but I didn't dare cry. It felt as if I sat there for an eternity. I took deep and even breaths, out through the nose and in through the mouth. Maybe my work would take my mind away. Looking up at my desk, I noticed a small golden envelope that hadn't been there when I left. It had a blood-red wax seal that knocked the wind out of my chest.

It looked like the devil's seal. I had only seen it once before. The entire office was up in arms as it was passed around from angel to angel. That was when Lucifer had decided his path, shortly after falling from our realm. Indented in the wax were two horns with drops coming off the tips, with the letters LMS between them. A shiver ran up my spine as I picked it up by a corner and turned it slowly. It was addressed to me, from him. My lip quivered as I reached for my letter opener, my hand trembling roughly. I slipped it under the fold and tore it slowly. Inside was a thick golden card with intricate lettering. I took it out gently and stared at it before trying to read the words.

My vision blurred reading the letters. Tears brought up from fear were disturbing my view.

Dear Gabrielle,

I'm sure by now you know who has sent this letter. It's been much too long since we've spoken, Gaby. If I'm honest, I truly miss you. I'd suggest we catch up one day, but that would mean disobeying your almighty tyrant. I'd hoped you would one day come to your senses and join me. The offer still stands, my dear. My heart has been yours since our creations. Its been difficult hearing through the clouds that you are now repeating the pain of strayed love with Michael, but I am not surprised. I'll keep this short if you don't mind. I did not write you to rehash our past or beg you once again to join me. That will be for another day. I am writing to let you know that what you've heard is true. The young man being sent to you is one of my dearest friends, or at least used to be. He was created here by my hands and has somehow decided he'd rather join your ranks. I do agree it seems a bit ironic.

I can't take the freedom of choice from any creature, unlike our father. I gave him your name and told him you would be the one to turn him around. I let him know that you would be able to teach him how to truly love your God unequivocally. I'm sure you can hear my laughter from up there as I write this.

I do wish you would write back to me, Gabrielle. I know you're not happy there. An amazing creature such as yourself, full of emotion and capabilities. Here, with me, you could live your truest self. You could be openly happy... with me.

Take good care of Damien.

Yours always,

LMS.

I dropped the golden paper and let the pain overtake me. A soft knock at my door pulled my eyes up, but not the rest of me. I couldn't bring myself to open the door or deal with anyone. The end of this day didn't seem to ease up. The door opened without my consent and Michael peered in. His eyes flew wide and he rushed over to me. I was in his arms in seconds. He lifted me into his lap, his body now in the seat with mine on his. I nuzzled into his neck and cried. Every breath I took was overcome with the sweet smell of his skin. And all I could think about was Lucifer, the past, and my muddled future.