A Thousand Ways to Love

Heartless

ColinShe doesn’t talk to me for a day. I figure it’s better to let her come to me when she’s ready. I was stupid to ask her all that stuff. What did I expect would happen? That Jared guy is such an i***t and I had to make sure that they didn’t have a relationship before. Was his older brother any better? What did he do to her?

It’s not my business. Katie and I have only just started being friends, but it’s different with her. I feel like I can talk to her about anything and it wouldn’t matter. She’d make fun of me or listen intently. But now that I tried to pry into her life, all the walls came up.

“Colin?” I hear a voice and turn to it.

“Katie,” I say and then shut my locker.

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you,” Katie says.

“I should be the one apologizing, I shouldn’t have been asking all those questions,” I say.

“You’re right. But I shouldn’t have just shut you down either. I just don’t want to talk about the ending of my last relationship,” Katie says.

“Did he hurt you?” I ask, even though she just said she didn’t want to talk about it. I have to make sure that he didn’t do anything bad or illegal to her.

“Colin,” she says.

“Did he do anything illegal or…” I start.

“Stop, Colin,” Katie says and puts a hand on my arm, and it sends a jolt through me. “He just hurt me emotionally. Please don’t worry about it.”

“I didn’t know if jerk runs through the family,” I say, and she laughs.

“No, just Jared. Devon was a good guy for the majority of our relationship,” Katie says.

“Well, while you’re here,” I say and look through my locker and fish out her book and give it back to her.

“You’re done?” she says surprised.

“Couldn’t put it down,” I say. “You are the reason I got no sleep last night.”

She smiles and it’s beautiful. “I’ll get you the second book then.”

“Wait until the weekend. I need to get some sleep this week,” I say.

***

Katie“You and Colin seem to be becoming close,” Sierra says at my locker.

“Just friends,” I say and turn to Liam and Sierra.

“Sure,” Sierra smiles. “He’s good looking, Katie. Why don’t you go for it?”

“We don’t like each other like that,” I say.

“It’s not good to lie to yourself,” Liam says. “Keeping all those emotions in is not…” I slap him on the stomach. “Hey!”

“Why can’t a guy and girl be friends without everyone thinking it’s more?” I ask annoyed.

“Because friends don’t look at each other like you guys do,” Sierra says. “Or talk to each other, laugh with each other, stand close to each other, should I go on? All the normal things are different.”

“He’s a Grade 11,” I say.

"So, therefore, you can't date him?" Liam asks.

“What would people think?” I ask. I’m spewing out any excuse I can think of. Anything but the truth.

“That the hot hockey chick is dating the handsome genius?” Sierra says.

“I think I’m better off as I am,” I say.

“Making out with jocks and then throwing them away as soon as you are done with them?” Liam says.

“Sounds a little judgmental there,” I say.

“Not judgmental,” Liam says. I raise an eyebrow. “I’m just spelling out the reality of your current love life.”

“You know, if I was a guy, you’d all be congratulating me on the number of guys I score with,” I say.

“Is that what you want to be?” Liam says. “A jock that just scores with a bunch of guys?” I glare at Liam. “You think it’s going to impress Devon when he finds out?”

“Shut up!” I yell at him. “I don’t care about that!”

“Then why are you doing it, Katie?” Liam says. “If not because of Devon, then why? I thought this was just a phase for your post-breakup, but I don’t think that anymore. I think you are actually becoming this person.”

“You don’t know anything,” I say angrily.

“Do you like this side of you?” Liam says. “You have this great guy that’s into you and you don’t want to do anything about it. It’s because you have real feelings for him. It’s because you won’t be able to just make out with him and toss him aside. It’s because you really like him.”

“I don’t like Colin,” I say sternly.

“Are you scared of what Devon will think of you dating a younger guy that’s not an athlete?” Liam says. I shove Liam away from me and it only puts him slightly off balance and then he recovers.

“Katie!” Sierra yells. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem is that my best friends are trying to push me onto a guy I don’t even like!” I yell at them.

"Your problem is that you can't let go of some guy that chose to screw a bunch of girls at university over being in a relationship with you," Liam says.

“You mother…” I start and I’m about to shove him again, but Sierra stops me.

“Liam, that’s enough,” Sierra says sternly as she stares at him.

“You know nothing, Liam,” I say to him angrily.

“Because you won’t tell us anything!” Liam yells at me. “You visit Devon at university one weekend and when you come back, you guys are broken up. I can only assume what happened or what you found out about that i***t ex-boyfriend of yours when you went down there.”

“I’m done with this conversation,” I say, slamming my locker and turning away from them.

Liam grabs my arm to pull me back. “Don’t let him ruin you, Katie. You are so much better than that,” Liam says.

“What are you trying to say?” I ask.

“The way guys talk about you, Katie. You tell me that you only make out with these different guys, but that’s not what they say about you,” Liam says. “It’s a game to them, Katie. The catcalls, the whistling, the gossip. This didn’t happen to you before. This only happened after Devon.”

“I think you need to mind your own business,” I say sternly.

“I’m trying to help,” Liam says.

“Well, you’re doing a terrible job of it,” I say and then pull my arm away to get away from my two best friends.