Return Of My Wolf

Chapter Nine

The walk is silent, apart from the usual sounds of the woods. I want to break the silence between us, but I don't know what to say. I have no idea what he could possibly want to talk about, we haven't spent much time together, although he did say I'm a part of the family. Maybe it's about what that means, and what's expected from me.

Asher doesn't let my hand go, which leads me to believe that he isn't going to kill me. His touch is still gentle, and the tingles continue to course through my body, not giving my nerves chance to appear.

We finally reach a clearing somewhere within the woods. I look around at the area, and take in the beauty of it. Its a small area of grass, surrounded by trees, with one fallen tree that's set at an angle, colourful wild flowers have dotted themselves around and dance in the gentle breeze, and the sun beams down through the open canopy above, making it look as though there is a spotlight. I walk over to the fallen tree and run my hand over the trunk. The bark is old and withered, it falls with ease at the stroke of my fingertips.

I remember this place, it was one of my favourite, if not my favourite. I used to come here with Storm, to get away and clear my head. The last time I was here was after Nate and I had a fight, about what I can't remember now. It was probably something trivial, like he'd hidden the book I was reading, or had eaten the last pack of biscuits. I stormed out of the house, slamming the door on my way after telling Nate I hate him, and put Storm's lead on. Not that he needed it, he never strayed from me, always stuck by my side wherever we went. We walked for about ten minutes before reaching the entrance to the woods, and I let him off the lead. He ran around, seemingly enjoying his freedom from the lead. He would smell everything, flowers, trees, mud, but that's what I loved about him, he enjoyed nature as much as I did. He knew the way to where we always went, and I followed behind silently, still angry at Nate. Every so often Storm would make sure I was still there as he would stop and turn his head towards me, I felt safe with him, he wouldn't let anything happen to me. Every time we reached the clearing, we would lay down in the middle, on the grass and look up through the canopy of trees, watching the clouds pass us by. I enjoyed the peace it brought, listening to the sounds of nature around us and having my best friend with me, always calmed me. I could stay there for hours, and I often did.

A sad smile appears at the memory, but it was short lived as I remember that Storm disappeared the day after. My breath catches in my throat as I hold back the tears that are threatening to spill. I forgot how much this place meant to me, seeing as I haven't been back since that day. Feelings of guilt and regret wash through me, I should have come back, even if it was just to remember the memories.

A hand on my shoulder pulls me from my thoughts. "Sorry, I was in my own little world." I apologised as I feel bad for momentarily forgetting he was here. I turn to look at Asher, his face softens and I smile at him to reassure him I'm okay.

He takes my hand gently in his, sending tingles through my body, and he leads me to the centre of the opening and pulls me down to sit opposite him. We stare at each other for a few moments, and the intensity of emotions swirling in his eyes has me frozen to the spot. His gaze sends waves of heat and shivers through meat the same time, my pulse quickens to a fast pace, that I'm sure he can hear, and my heart starts to pound in my chest, as though it's trying to break free. I can feel myself getting lost in his eyes, and despite not wanting to look away, I force myself to so that I can think clearly.

Looking at my hands and fiddling with the imaginary thread on the hem of the jumper, I bite my lip as I know I'm about to ruin the moment. I breathe out shakily, looking back up at him, and notice his eyes are still on me. A feel a blush forming on my cheeks, hoping he doesn't notice, but by the smirk on his face, I know that he has and groan at this. Before he could say anything, I rush out in what seems like one breath, "You wanted to talk?"

I'm not sure if he heard me at first, but judging by the way his fists curl up into balls, the tense look on his face and the anger in his eyes, I know that he did. I can feel the anger radiating off of him, unsure of whether or not it is directed at me, I choose to remain silent. I don't want to anger him further.

He closes his eyes tight, fists turning white from the clenching he's doing and he starts to slowly breathe in and out, as though he's trying to calm himself. I watch him in awe, he looks so beautiful, even angry.

After a few moments of hesitation, I place my hand softly a top his knee so not to startle him. He immediately snaps his eyes open, focusing on my own as though he's trying to see into my soul. I can tell he's still angry, I can see it in his eyes, though they are a touch softer than before. I don't know if I should be scared, but I'm not.

He lets out a deep sigh, shaking his head and brushing his hand through his hair to move it out of his eyes. He doesn't move my hand from his knee, and I'm glad he doesn't. I like it there, like feeling his body under my fingertips. He's tense, so I start to trace random circles over his jeans in an attempt to to calm him, which works as I can feel him relax a little.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I expect an honest answer," he states with authority and anger in his tone, that I'm sure would make anyone quiver in their boots. I must admit, it shocks me to my core, and I gulp at the sharpness, yet I don't feel scared. I avert my eyes away from his, as I meekly nod my head in response, not being able to find or trust my voice to speak.

He gently grabs my chin and lifts my head up so I'm looking at him. "Do you like Chad?" His voice is softer, but the anger is still very much there and I notice his body tenses again as he asks. His eyes still hold anger, but there is another emotion there. Sadness maybe, I can't tell.

"He's a great friend," I reply honestly. He waves his hand in the air, which I take as he wants me to continue, so I do. "Chad has been kind to me since I arrived, he's helped me when I've needed it. Plus, I feel safe with him." All of which is the truth, I hope Asher can see that.

At my answer, Asher scoffs and drops his hand from my chin, whilst removing my hand from his knee with his other. I don't understand, I've told him the truth. "I mean, do you like him as more than a friend?"

I was not expecting that. I don't know where he got that idea from or why he is asking. I don't see Chad that way, never even thought of him like that. I continue to look at Asher, his body is visibly rigid again, his eyes hold anger, his tone is full of anger and disgust, and he begins to clench not only his hands but his jaw also.

"No." I state simply. He looks at me, disbelief on his face. "No Asher, I do not like Chad as more than a friend." I reiterate the truth clearly and confidently, all the while looking directly into his eyes as he scans my face for any sign of deception. When he's satisfied that there isn't any, he breathes out a huge sigh of relief, all the tension his body leaves, and a huge grin appears, which has me grinning back at him.

"Now, next question. What were you doing in my office?" He's not as angry as he was when he asked about Chad, but there is a hint of it. It takes me a second to realise what he is talking about.

"Oh." I momentarily drop my head, tears prick my eyes as I steady my breathing. I lift my head back up, looking directly in his eyes, with a quiet, soft voice, I reply, "I'm sorry, I didn't look at or touch anything, I swear. I was looking for a way to the roof so I could watch the sun rise like I used to with my brother and that was the last door, so I opened it and found the skylight. It was stupid and I wasn't thinking".

I hang my head in both embarrassment and shame. Before I can react, Asher grabs my body as though I weigh nothing at all and places me in his lap, so I'm straddling him. He rubs random patterns on my back with one hand, whilst stroking my hair with the other. The action makes me all warm inside, electricity flows through my body as goosebumps appear all over my skin. I place my head in the crook of his neck, as he does with me. He smells so good, I can't get enough of it.

As we sit there in a comfortable silence, I can't help but feel guilty. I have just buried my brother, and here I am enjoying myself and liking the fact I'm close to the man that I like. I shouldn't be feeling like this, it's not right, it's selfish. A few stray tears escape my eyes at this thought.

I pull my head back, Asher wipes the stray tears with his thumb and as I'm about to move away, out the corner of my eye, behind Asher's shoulder, I notice a white feather falling to the ground. It's at this moment, I know Nate is watching over me, and as if he can hear my thoughts, he's sending me a sign telling me that everything is okay.