The Warrior King's Mate

Chapter 19

Nova P.O.V

My tongue was scalloped, drily sticking to the back of my teeth. As I slowly moved back into my body, everything about me started in my mouth - there was an awful bitterness and the uncomfortable feeling of furry teeth. I was desperate to open my lips, but felt the skin of my inner lip peel against my teeth and it made me feel unbearably nauseated. For now, I would settle on breathing through my nose. My nose felt funny though, the nostrils tied together in some way. I was so thirsty.

I felt heavy, like I was a stone slowly moving through deep water. I was in no pain, but I somehow knew that I wouldn't be able to move much. From somewhere beyond my eyelids, a soft white light surrounded me like a warm bath. I could hear very little other than my own breathing, but I could feel the breath of an open window nearby. The breeze was cold, wintery, but wherever I was lying was so cosey and comfortable. I felt disarticulated - like a doll taken apart. I knew I had kneecaps and toes, fingers and a ribcage - but I couldn't understand where they were in relation to me. It was like they'd floated away in the water somewhere, still attached, but far away. I was floating away, too. I was so warm, so...safe. I felt - for the first time in my life - that I was safe.

I powered myself down, like rolling down a dimmer switch, and let myself gently fall back into nothingness.

*****

Something was fidgeting with me. I could feel myself rolling like an empty shell caught in a low-tide wave. There was a brief, far away chill of something wet moving along the surface of a body, smelling of something I knew, but didn't have a word for. I liked the smell, and soon, I was warm again. There was a bumble of voices above me, too far away to listen to, not far away enough for me to tune out. I felt something warm and wet sponge over my dry mouth and suddenly it was like I could breathe deeper. The voices abruptly stopped - good. They were distracting, I was trying to find my tongue again to find the water and I needed to concentrate. After some time had passed, I felt myself fluttering away, exhausted.

*****

A cold, slow moving slug was in my throat. I could feel it, it crept in through my nose. This was an abrupt, sudden jolt to awareness for me, and though the feeling of the slug crawling sickeningly down my throat and settling in somewhere deeper, further away, was unpleasant - I felt no need to move. I was comfortable. I felt softness around me, like I was wrapped in a cloud. I was more of a thing now, though. I could feel the places where my skin rested against material, I could feel a slight itch on my right-hand side, where I used to have a hand. The voices were closer now, and I even heard one word, clear as a bell, while all the others gently jumbled together: Alive.

That's what I was. I was alive.

*****

I opened my eyes at some point. There was no gentle pull from the abyss, this time. I was one thing, now I was another.

I was awake.

I didn't know how long I'd been awake for, but I knew I was. I could see my fingers, thin little twigs, resting stiffly on top of a thick, fluffy blanket, my hand covered in a clean white bandage. I could move them, if I wanted to, but it was difficult. Everything was so heavy, everything was so soft. I spent some time watching the shadows on the ceiling move, light settling in to welcome me back. The light seemed to come from everywhere as if this bed was floating on an island. I watched as the fragile, thin warmth of the light transformed the inky black ceiling to navy, then finally to a deep, royal blue. Far above me, an ornate white ceiling rose brushed delicately with gold held the sparkling gold chain of an impressive chandelier. It took time, effort and focus, but as the light filled the room I could just make out the tiny shape of a body on a bed reflected a thousand times in the crystal fittings.

I was so thirsty, and - although not sore - my body was complaining. I began to try and squeeze muscles, just to see if they were all where they should be. It was exhausting, undulating under such heavy blankets and I was worried about making myself fall asleep again.

I remembered everything. Where I had been so hazy before as I melted in and out of nothingness, now that I was awake, I could remember everything. My mother, my aunt, my grandmother...Malcolm's face as he looked at Joe's crumpled form being dragged away...I remembered the pain. I remembered a lifetime's worth of pain. The note, the betrayal of my own mother...she was meant to be home for me. Her body was my very first home and she...oh yes, I remembered all of the pain.

It felt far away from me just now, though. It would come back, it always does. Just now I felt so securely safe in my blanket that I felt almost as if I had dreamed Logan and Morgan, dreamed up the broken bones, the never ending pinches and punches and slaps, the sore knees, the gagging as they forced themselves into my throat...It was a nightmare, but it wasn't a dream. I remembered the pain of sleeping in a crawl space in the stone cold basement, the agony of an empty stomach -

- Oh, now! I wasn't hungry. The usual gnawing cramp in my belly wasn't there. I was thirsty, yes, parched even - but my stomach felt...comfortable. I knew I'd been...here...for some time, I could feel it in the way my muscles had deteriorated, so someone must have been feeding me. I wonder who the owners of the voices were, then? Because the ceiling I was inspecting was NOT the ceiling of the room back in River Moon.

My insides churned uncomfortably as I thought of my bedroom at River Moon. The broken mirror, the...the blood. Slowly, I moved my eyes down to my bandaged hand. Breathing as evenly as I could, I tried to rotate my arm to inspect the wrists. The limb trembled vigorously, but turned. There, under the bandages, I could see a long clear plastic line protruding. It led somewhere off of the bed, and moving my head was far too exhausting just now, but i recognized these lines from River Moon's pack hospital. They go from medicine into my blood via a vein. Someone would have to check it regularly then. I strained my ears but heard no one else close by. I inspected the inside of my wrist the best I could - the bandage covered most of it - but there, underneath the thinnest layer, I could make out the faint shadow of a dark line. I felt myself fold slightly. Never, even amid the worst of the abuse, had I thought of harming myself like that. In my head, I was always fantasising about escaping, about running away, about being free. Freedom and escape, I realized, could only come in death. I felt no sadness, no pain, no fear. I felt resolved.

Someone was looking after me, probably Malcolm. Someone wanted me alive, finally. Finally, someone cared enough for my wellbeing to feed me, keep me safe and warm - but it was too late. I knew, now, how to run away. I thought back to the wonderful emptiness of floating around in the dark. Death would welcome me like a soft embrace, and I could float away forever. As soon as I was able, I'd leave.

My attention became snagged as I heard several steady footsteps becoming louder and clearer as several people sounded like they were approaching me. From across a large room, I heard the gentle clacking of an opening door, and heard several musical voices talking over each other at once; omegas were coming. In spite of my exhaustion, my head rolled automatically to the source of the sound, my eyes seeing the rest of the room for the first time and surprise flooded me. I knew I wasn't in River Moon - the room here was twice the size of Malcolm's office, the bedroom moving to a very large sitting area and even a dining room was visible through a set of ornately gilded white doors at the far end of the sitting room, which, not that I had much knowledge on the subject, seemed impeccably designed with very expensive furniture. I remembered the word 'regency' from a school talk where a visiting antiques dealer had come and given us a lecture during careers week, and it seemed the closest term I could apply to the room. Whatever building this room was attached to, it was old and it was grand.

The omegas stopped abruptly when they saw me looking back at them. I saw one carrying a large copper basin filled with steamy water, smelling sweetly of herbs and oils. Another carried with her some of the fluffiest towels I'd ever seen - something I appreciated was difficult to achieve, having served my time in the laundry room at Silver Shore. The third, the youngest of the group, carried with her medical supplies such as bandages, gauze and what looked like a clear plastic bottle filled with baby formula. As the group of omegas stared at me, the one holding the towels moved slowly and cautiously back out of the room, turned her head to the side and muttered something, as if someone were standing beside the open door, just out of sight. This was confirmed when the girl nodded pointedly at me and a large, male head popped around the door frame, eyebrows raised. He muttered something to the girl who nodded once and - slapping a cheery smile on her face - strode back into the room, tapping the door closed with her heel.

"Good morning, Miss Blackwell!" She said, moving confidently towards the room and placing the towels on to a handsome chest of drawers. "My name is Holly, and I've been attending your room for you while you've been with us here at Selinis Castle," she said, her voice professionally positive. This, I knew, was not a good sign. The other two seemed to also know this, as they robotically pasted equally cheerful smiles on their faces and moved forwards as if to carry out their tasks.

"This," Holly pointed to the omega carrying the sweet smelling basin, "is Kat - and over there is Lola! We're the chambermaids for this suite, and might I say it's wonderful to see you so bright this morning!"

Her voice was melodic and friendly but she unnerved me. She moved as she spoke, they all did. I missed the silence of the room instantly, the sudden noise and commotion confusing me and making me tired. I couldn't speak to ask them to quieten down, my mouth was so dry. I tried to open it anyway, to show them I understood what Holly was saying. She noticed my lips pursing and unpursing uselessly, though, and smiled sweetly at me.

"It's okay Miss Blackwell, just wait one moment," and she disappeared from view. My ears tracked her light footsteps around the bed and to the other side. I couldn't turn my head again so I strained my eyes when I heard the twinkling of crystal and the unmistakable pouring sound of water. The footsteps repeated their journey and Holly crouched down beside the bed. She dipped what looked like a pencil into the glass of water in her hand, before bringing it to my lips. She squeezed the end of the device in her hand and deliciously wet, cool water dropped slowly between my lips. She repeated this several times until my lips unglued themselves from my teeth and - miraculously, I could open my mouth comfortably.

"There, that must feel better," Holly smiled at me, placing the glass and the stopper on an unseen bedside table. "Now, the guard has let the doctors and the officers know that you're awake, Miss. We just need to get you sorted before they come in and we'll leave you to chat with the doctors and your uncle. He's very relieved to hear you're awake, I've been informed!" She gave my bandaged hand a reassuring pat before she and the other girls got to work. I was most unpleased to realize that the medical supplies Lola had carried also included a fresh catheter bag - which she changed for one half filled with dark coloured urine before disappearing with it, presumably for disposal after some sort of medical tests. To further my humiliation, Holly and the dark haired girl, Kat, rolled back the thick fur lined blanket all the way down my body before rolling me once on to each side so as to place the thick towels between me and the bedding. Then, as if it were nothing, the two omegas undid and pulled away the soft cotton pajamas I'd been wearing and covered my torso and privates with yet another towel. Kat brought the copper basin closer and they each grabbed a soft looking sponge, swiping the heavily oiled water over my limbs before - and I closed my eyes for this bit - Kat lifted the towel as discretely as possible to clean me more thoroughly. The water was cooling rapidly on my skin and before long, I was being gently patted dry and redressed into fresh, clean smelling pyjamas. The blankets were rolled back up and Kat carried the copper basin to what I assumed was an adjoining bathroom to dispose of the water.

Lola reappeared, and began busying herself with something behind the bed. I heard the mechanical sound of a machine door being opened and heard clicking as she removed from whatever it was a clear plastic bottle similar to the one she had brought with her. She grabbed the one full of creamy liquid and seemingly replaced the empty bottle. A shrill beeping sounded as she programmed whatever machine was behind me before stepping away to collect the wet towels and empty packaging, leaving the room again. Holly began combing gently through my hair and fluffing my pillows, while Kat moved side to side, rolling back curtains to allow more light into the room.

Then, disgustingly, the feeling of a cold slug creeping into my nose returned, moving sickeningly into my throat. I gagged slightly, causing Holly's head to whip around, looking for the source of my discomfort. Understanding, she smiled at me once more, placing a bracing hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright Miss," she cooed. "You were so malnourished when you came to us, and with you being asleep all this time, the doctors put a feeding tube in through your nose. Lola started your morning feed for you, you're feeling it moving through the tube. It'll be over soon, Miss. We have to get your strength up!"

She moved to continue smoothing out the bed covers, making sure all my cables and wires were not twisted or tangled. Finally, she moved to the large row of bright white windows, and opened up a set of crystal clear French doors, allowing a subtle chilly breeze into the room.

"Just some fresh air, Miss!" she smiled at me. Kat collected the now empty basin, and she and Holly nodded their heads once before leaving me in the room, alone once more.

I felt like I'd been picked up by a hurricane and dropped somewhere else with a thud. They weren't rough or unkind, but I felt thoroughly ruffled by the omegas and completely and utterly spent, despite not actually moving a muscle myself. The heavy pull of tiredness tugged behind my eyes, and I desperately wanted to sleep. However, knowing now I was in the King's castle at the Centre of our world forced me to remain alert, waiting for the doctors and...did she say John was here? Why on earth would an Alpha leave his pack? Why couldn't they have sent Malcolm? Although, remembering the anger rolling off of Malcolm in heavy waves when he found me on the training grounds, I didn't think I could face him just yet.

Officers...Holly said something about officers, was I being arrested? For what I did to Joe?! Had Amy demanded justice for her battered warrior mate? I couldn't panic properly, not as tired as I was, and not with this sickening feeling of the tube down my thoat...

...Without meaning to, I fell back to sleep.

*****

Voices woke me.

My eyes fluttered open to a brightly lit room. I felt clear-headed and alert. Moving my extremities was difficult, but a level of stiffness had been removed from me - taking full advantage of my new ability to move, I delicately swept my head from left to right. As I had earlier, I saw the gentile furniture of a sitting room at the far end of this cavernous suite. The ceiling was a deep shade of royal blue, as were the thick heavy curtains that draped regally down from the ceiling, pooling only a tiny bit of fabric on the warm oak parquet floors. The ceiling rose above my bed had a brother above the chaise lounges and deep, luxurious cushions of an ivory sofa, an equally intricate chandelier of what looked like diamonds and pearls scattering small white and rainbow reflections in every direction. The walls all along one side seemed purely to be made of floor to ceiling windows, trimmed with gold, aside from the three sets of French doors which housed a delicately stained window showing a night sky as a patchwork of various shades of blue around a silvery full moon. The floor under the sitting room was saved from scuff marks by a thick creamy coloured rug. Beyond the sitting room were two white doors, one I knew led to the dining room I had seen this morning, although both doors were now closed. I had no idea where the other door led and I very much doubted I'd find out any time soon.

I looked to the right hand side of the room. The doors Holly had opened for me earlier were now closed, but through them I could see the balustrade of a sparkling white balcony, ivy wrapping itself wistfully through the carved stone. The bed, I noticed, was an extremely large four poster draped with sheer white fabric that looked like expensive silk. Luna Jane had scarves of a similar material which she only took out for incredibly special occasions. The bedding was of the same soft ivory color as the rug, topped with a silky navy blue quilt. The bed alone was more luxurious than anything I'd ever seen in River Moon, which already surprised me with the level of grandeur compared to Silver Shore.

With a sudden pang, the soft purple blanket my grandmother bought for me flashed into my mind. I wanted it right now, with a severity that shocked me. I'd barely spent two weeks with them, but my River Moon family felt very obviously absent in this much too fancy space.

Almost as if to remind me of their presence, the voices in the next room became suddenly loud . The room must have been soundproofed to a degree, because even I could tell that the voices were very angry, but they didn't illicit the usual wave of terror that a raised voice would. They were male, and despite their volume leaking through the walls, I couldn't make out what they were saying, even when they managed to rattle the gold-lined mirror hanging on the sitting room wall.

It didn't matter if they were angry, I realised. They might be angry at me. Maybe I'd been asleep too long. I couldn't make myself care. I felt checked out, finished. Done. My mother had wanted me gone before I was even born, and that entire pack - my own brother and sister - tried their best not to disappoint her. I couldn't even feel sad about the note she left me. My whole life had been a lie, I didn't have a family or a home, I didn't have a father or a purpose or a wolf. The moon goddess could never gift a parasite like me the blessing of a wolf - I'd never have a mate, or a pup, or a future. They were arguing next door about nothing. I felt nothing. I was nothing. How wonderfully ironic it would be to be the one who finally got rid of me, after they'd all tried so hard...

- "Miss Blackwell?" A voice had appeared suddenly close to my ear so that I snapped my head round instinctively.

The room was full of men. I looked at all five of them in turn, noticing the door at the other end of the room had opened, giving no hints to the room beyond where the arguing seemed to have stopped. I looked back at the men around my bedside. An older man, maybe mid fifties, was the closest. I assumed he had spoken to me. His black hair was densely curled, sprinkled with grey, his eyes so brown they were almost black sitting beneath two dark grey eyebrows. His salt and pepper beard was well groomed, and his skin was treacle coloured. He smiled warmly at me, taking a pen from the breast pocket of his white coat, underneath which he wore a set of navy blue hospital scrubs.

In sharp contrast to the well-put-together doctor were four of the shabbiest and most tired looking men I'd ever seen in my life. The tallest man had floppy, caramel waves falling past his face, which was pale and deeply shadowed. His eyes were dark, surrounded by purple bags, but I could see the splattering of a few freckles across his nose, a strong jaw covered in rough stubble and an expression of full focus, despite his obvious exhaustion. His shirt and jacket were wrinkled, as if he'd been in them too long, his tie pulled loosely and his top few buttons undone, as if he had started the day well dressed. To his left stood a slightly shorter, stockier man who also looked thoroughly exhausted. His brown hair was cut short and his stance - arms crossing is broad and muscly chest, straight back, legs apart - suggested he might be a warrior. His arms were thickly muscled and his clothes impeccably neat compared with the tall man - black tshirt and black jeans tucked in by a thick black leather belt. He was looking at me with his head c****d to the side, assessing me.

The third man appeared to be a nurse, dressed in paler blue scrubs and moving around checking things before popping notes down on a clipboard, which he handed to the older doctor. He smelled strongly of coffee, his blonde hair swept impatiently off of his face, dark blue shadows under his eyes and his scrubs scrunched as though he'd slept in them.

The fourth man was my Uncle, Alpha John. He looked the worst I had ever seen him. He wasn't in his usual crisp suit and slacks, but a pair of black sweatpants and a grey tshirt. Still impressively fit for an older Alpha, John seemed thoroughly diminished as he looked at me, his eyes unblinking, wet with tears. He looked unsure whether or not to reach out to me, and kept throwing furtive glances at the doctor and soldier-boy.

"Miss Blackwell, I'm Doctor Owusu, I've been overseeing your care," he crouched down beside the bed so as to maintain eye contact with me. He seemed kind. His voice was calm and reassuring, deep and melodious. "Your Uncle John has told us as much as he knows about your health since you arrived at River Moon, and Doctor Henderson at the clinic there has sent us along copies of all the x-rays and blood tests you had done there," he told me, and a small droplet of realization rolled towards me - Malcolm's investigation. They knew everything about Silver Shore. They must know I'm human from the blood tests. They were about to confirm the worst fear I'd ever had in my life.

"Your body has been thoroughly weakened by years of starvation and abuse, and your recent blood loss," he said, deftly side stepping the phrase 'suicide attempt' - "meant that your body had no choice but to shut itself down in order to survive. Your kidneys needed a little help when you first got here, but I'm pleased to say we were able to get on top of some hydration. I'd like to keep you on fluids for a few more days, but feel free to drink water if you're able."

He signed a piece of paper before handing it to the tired nurse, who glanced at it before leaving the room with it.

"Furthermore, we've been feeding you via an NG tube for the past ten days while you've been under - " TEN DAYS?! "And keeping an eye on your blood work. You're still well below where I'd like your nutrition to be, but your potassium and magnesium are close enough to normal that I'd like to start weaning you off the feed, and on to some proper food if we can," he smiled at me. "We're going to start with some broths and high protein milkshakes, then we'll move on to things with a bit more grit - best to avoid anything too spicy or fatty while we try to get your gut used to real food, eh?"

He stood to address Tall Man and Soldier Boy. "She'll need round-the-clock observation and I'd like to get a physio therapist in here right away. As soon as we can get some muscle back on her bones, we'll have gained enough ground for you to work with. I'd also like daily bloods and twice daily blood sugars done - her nurse knows the care plan. Is there anything else you need from me today?"

"No, doc. I'll let him know. He won't be pleased if she can't talk to him by next week, though. Is there anything to speed things along?" Soldier Boy asked. His voice was authoritative, like he was in command.

"No, you can't speed up survival, I'm afraid, Sir," said Dr Owusu. "I'm afraid we'll need to be patient."

Without speaking a word or taking his eyes off of me, Tall Man had listened to everything poker faced. He turned to Soldier Boy and nodded gravely before they both turned and walked with the doctor to the adjoining room, leaving me alone with John.