With you Forever

CHAPTER:- 6

Ishita's Pov

Nature! The unending calmness and indescribable charm it has. It has set all the stage according to the well designed plans. It is the best healer to everyone in this world. It has music that touches directly in the heart, it has the cinematic views that blows the minds. It has birds to keep chirping in ears, it has flowers to fill the heart with the smells. It has everything in it's own places. It must be done by only The Almighty as the scriptures said. How do poet find words to elaborate its serenic beauty! It must be difficult for them to find proper adjectives to use.

Well, I couldn't understand it ever. Because I lack in expressing thoughts. You can call me an introvert. But I certainly wasn't short of ideas. Ideas are always in my mind, I just fail to express them in a way that everyone would find it attractive. Creativity had always be a beautiful secret of mine, that I hid from the world.

In my introduction, I am Ishita. Well, I don't know the meaning behind my name, except for the story that why I was named with this name. Well, here was the not-so-interesting story behind it. Actually it was my mother's name. And after her death, my father named me the same to keep her alive in his memory.

As i heard people saying My mother died, just an hour later giving me birth. I never got to see her except in photographs. And I was deprived of her hold. And a few days later, my father married again,The reason was me, that's what everyone said.

Everybody said in a appreciating way that I was the reason why my father forgot his years of love and married another woman for me, Because I was in need of love.

But as i grow up, and found the ability to understand, I found it was just a lie. The truth was so simple. No body loves someone after death. Everything that stays, stays only till the death. There was nothing called forever. Everything is just burnt with the fire of cremation. Forever, It's just a word in the dictionary. It's just used to mean that something that last till the end, but it's not true,because the definition of end is different for all the people. Few things end means only the death, and few things end means te eternal. And i know very well where i do belong.

When I grew up, when I got to understand things, then I could understand that My father had me, an excuse to marry again and so he did. And then my step mom came. Soon my half brother was added to our family.

To be honest, I don't have any problem with them living as a happy family.

Because i believe brother and sisters love are unique and their short arguments, their crying, their laughter makes the home more beautiful.

But I just only want freedom. Freedom means I want to stay away from there daily chattering and show off. I want to stay away from their fake love. Their double headed nature. I want to stay away from everything that's not real. I want to live a simple life on my own terms and conditions Where i can do my own stuffs on my own will like nobody will tell me what i should do and what i shouldn't. Because I clearly understand my responsibility towards everything.

And I don't need someone else's extra guidance in my life.

My vision to life was different.

I want this life, where I could stand under the sky, feel the sunray all over my body, air gently touching my whole body and filling the coldness, and think as much as I can, where I don't need to explain anything to anyone. It's just complicated for me to explain my perception. Every time I try, i fail. I couldn't match the expectations of the others. I know they have their own views, their own logic, own points, and often they would never agree to mine. And i don't prefer to lose my energy in this. I believe it's better to remain silent. As everyone said, silence is the best answer, and i seriously adopted the line, and from then life has been simple for me. I know I have been judged for many times, but I have made sure that doesn't affect my inner peace. I never allowed anybody to halt my peace with their egos, their perceptions of thinking, and their judgement skills. And that's the reason I have been an introvert, but certainly that's okay, i feel that's good for me though. And I want to live like this forever.

I don't need anyone to walk with me or to listen my thoughts. I prefer not to be heard, I prefer not to be shared with someone else's sorrows, or joys.

Because as much as know I have never found a good listener than myself for my thoughts.

Yes, world named me as an introvert.

They thinks I am alone.

But, what they don't know was I was not alone. I might be unable to mingle in their world. It's just that their way of accepting the world is different from mine. Little did everyone know that I have a whole new world, builded inside myself. The world that has its own home, a own long courtyard, own mountains, sea beach, everything that one needs to stay in peace. The world that accepted me as I was and loved me with all my flaws. My mistakes are just mistakes, it's just nobody will tell me, and I would feel guilty. All that I get is my inner peace.

And this secret of mine was unknown to everyone. No body knows about this secret world of mine. Because they couldn't see it or feel it. It's my own, unique world that i prefer to keep as a secret.

Only I had the access to feel the happenings there, all the smiles and all the cries. Because it was right here in my mind. And I own the key only.

I moved outside. The walls were suffocating me.

All I need at that moment was air, just some fresh air to hit my face and wake me up from the thoughts.

The air touched my body, freshness travelled through the veins and travelled to each part of my body, and I felt the magic of refreshment.

"Ishu! Have you completed the new project's file?"

"No, I haven't and I don't want to. I need to sleep now. Can you please for once put on a facade of loving me, I need love at least for a day only." She cried.

"Ishita!" A voice broke my trance. I turned around to find the girl same age as mine. "Uncle had asked for the new project's file. Have you completed it?" The girl asked in almost a mocking manner.

"Aditi! That project is mine. I have worked hard for it. I am not a careless person that you all are reminding me about this again and again. I better understand my responsibility, and i don't need to get a reminder from everyone."

I wanted to scream exactly these lines towards Aditi, so that she would stop taunting me here and there.

Aditi Ray had a special reign over Verma Pvt. Ltd. It was because her aunt was the second wife of the owner of the company - Mr. Rudra Verma. And she loved to brag about her privileges of getting the job and that too in the HR position. While I was always her competitor.

I loved silence.

Aditi loved chaos.

I preferred to stay hidden.

Aditi wanted all the attention on herself.

I loved simple things.

Aditi made things complicated.

I was an introvert.

Aditi was an extrovert.

I enjoyed my own company,

While she loved the crowd.

In short, we were two completely opposite persons in each and every perspectives.

While Aditi was the niece of the owner of the company - Rudra Verma, I was his daughter.

Yeah, I was Ishita Verma - the owner's daughter, who started to work here as a normal employee.

I have earned this position where I am today. I wasn't given this at all. Because that would have never make me feel satisfied and complete. With my hard work, I feel complete, a complete me without any disappointment from my own life.

But The only thing I hated about my name was the 'Verma' attached to it.

I hate every relationship attached to me. The only person whom I loved was my mother. Well, she was dead too from my birth only.

So, I was left alone with my countless thoughts.

"If your daydreaming is so important, then I am taking a leave." And here again, Aditi came with a new taunt.

"Ahh... Please. I have no interest to stare this makeup plasted face of yours. Please, leave. Do this favour on me."

I wanted to say but couldn't.

"Sorry, Aditi. I was zoned out. By the way about the project, I will directly have a talk with Rudra Sir." I replied.

"There is no need of showing off your down to earth attitude by calling your own father as Sir, Ok. Overdrama!" She muttered and turned around, as she had nothing to say.

"I don't need to show off. I have enough privileges to live all my life showing off only. But I won't because I am not like you, who stands here because the ground belongs to her uncle. I am standing here with my own capabilities and own effort. So just leave." I wanted to shout, but I couldn't and stayed with my silence.

In stead, I kept looking at Aditi going towards the office.

Her perfect hourglass figure was cladded with a formal uniform. The shirt was half folded and the blazer was swinging on her back. Weird fashions!

The black pencil skirt was tight enough making each curves of her visible. Her tonned legs and the high heels on them, she was indeed blessed with an appearance of a model.

Is that how women look beautiful?

Do I lack in this beauty?

Obviously yes. I was a simple and average girl, with everything in an average manner, except a rich father and high grades.

With this pink Kurta, white leggings and black sandal, I was indeed a fashion disaster.

What's wrong with you, Ishita? From when did you start judging yourself for outer appearance?

What? Am I really judging myself over somebody else's words!

These were the exact words told by that interviewee - Aahan Choudhry.

Why he had become a sudden exception to an introvert like me?

I never responded to someone else with more than two to three lines. Yet, I retorted back to him, when he commented on my fashion sense.

It was not first for me, people had always been rude towards me. They never liked my attitude and I learned to live with this.

I have learned to stay with hatred rather being loved for outer sense, and outer views.

I have learned to live with myself. Only myself.

Then why today Aahan Choudhry had become such an exception!

Only if I could have the answers.

In these days all of sudden His words were affecting me and I was responding to him. But I was well aware of the fact that It was not good to me, not to my life, not to my inner shell.

He is a social bug, he tend to dislike an anti-social like me. What's new in it!

I was so lost in my thoughts, they have become a maze for me and I had completely forgotten the ways to get out from the prison of my mind.

My steps moved automatically to outside, without seeing my surroundings.

I was angry.

I was frustrated.

And I had no one to show my anger and frustration, except myself ofcourse.

Thus I kept on walking until a voice stopped me, "Hey!"

I turned around to meet the same brown eyes looking at me with curiosity.

To be continued...