I Want To Live

Chapter Six

       Katie observed her changing body in the mirror every morning that August. An expanding midsection a constant reminder of a stalled future. I didn’t ask for this to happen. Why me?  She railed against God, understanding how Christ must have felt when he cried, “My God. My God. Why hast thou forsaken me?” Men can assault women and move on with their lives unscathed. It’s not fair. The baby moved inside her. Her heart stirred with nurturing instincts. Katie placed a hand over her abdomen. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. My emotions are all over the place. 

    While a house guest for the duration of her pregnancy, Katie longed to be involved in a worthy cause rather than being housebound. She was enrolled in an online journalism class at UW. The assignment for that quarter was to write an extensive report on a major issue confronting America. “What has been vying for my attention this past year?” Katie pondered on her travels between two states. Then it hit her. “I keep seeing the homeless everywhere I’ve gone. That’s a perplexing problem in our cities right now. How can I do in-depth research?”

    The brick Office Building where Dr. and Mrs. Williams practiced Dentistry was located downtown, a block from the free Salvation Army Clinic. They volunteered their dental expertise to those in need every Thursday.

    One morning Pat suggested that Katie accompany them. “That way you can meet Major Angela Goodman and present your project. She’s the best person I can think of who would be able to steer you in the right direction.”  

     That was how Katie found herself sitting in the office of Majors Wayne and Angela Goodman. They were the current administrators of the Work of the Salvation Army in Seattle. Wayne handled the financial and business end. Angela was the liaison to the affiliations that served the needs of the poor. She made visits to the homeless on a regular basis. 

    Major Angela explained the Army’s Mission. “We promote the Gospel of Christ by meeting the physical needs of people, walking in Our Lord’s footsteps. We provide a wide range of services: prison visits, disaster relief, refugee assistance, addiction and dependency treatment, homeless and domestic violence shelters---to name a few.”

    “I am primarily interested in learning about the homeless living on the streets.”

    “How would you like to accompany me on my rounds? That way you would see systems already in place and get to personally meet the homeless.”

    Angela Goodman, a short stocky woman of German heritage, dark hair flecked with gray, was in her forties. Round unadorned glasses gave her the appearance of a wise owl. Her stern no-nonsense military style fit the uniform she wore. It discouraged any repugnant behavior from those she and her volunteers served. Her gruffness hid a heart of gold.  

    Katie felt intimidated in her presence yet realized the opportunity the woman presented. “Yes, I’ll take you up on your offer. When should I start? “

    “How about right now?” Winking slyly, Angela stood. The interview over.  

    Katie didn’t expect to go to work so soon, but she couldn’t let the moment slip by. “Okay, lead on, ma’am,” she said, rising to shadow Angela, about three inches taller than herself. She glimpsed Wayne’s high forehead and receding hairline crinkling to keep a chuckle at bay, his ever present pipe rocking like a seesaw. I think I’ve been bamboozled. 

    Katie followed the take-charge woman in navy uniform out an exit door into a glass-enclosed breezeway, which connected another red brick building. Angela depressed a lever on the door handle pulling it toward her so Katie could enter. They were in a large auditorium filled with rows of collapsible tables and chairs, set up to accommodate a crowd. The far wall had an open counter area through which several volunteers were visible in the kitchen, busy with food preparation.  

      Angela walked briskly toward the double doors separating the kitchen. Katie jogged to keep up. The air was humid, hot and noisy inside. The various smells made her mouth water. Two Vietnamese women sliced a variety of garden vegetables to be stir fried, chattering in their native tongue. Three elderly Hispanic women layered lasagna noodles, cottage cheese, and pasta sauce into metal pans. An African American man with dreadlocks stood at the stove browning fried chicken in cast iron pans. A squat Chinese man applied icing to a sheet of chocolate cake. A pan of brownies lay cooling nearby. He occasionally barked orders to the kitchen crew.

    Ah, he must be the head chef.

      “Everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I’d like to introduce Katie MacKenzie.” Major Angela lay a hand on Katie’s shoulder. “She’s here to help serve a meal to our friends."

    The assembled kitchen staff stopped working to acknowledge Katie graciously. A bell signaled that the oven had reached its preset temperature. Chen barked, “Back to work.” The Hispanic women placed two large lasagna pans in the oven and set the timer.

    A heavyset woman with dark-chocolate skin stepped out of the pantry wearing a blue disposable head covering like everyone else. She carried a precariously balanced tower of six packages of dinner rolls.

    “Sadie, would you mind taking Katie under your wing?” Angela asked, saving a slippery package that threatened to fall. 

   “Yass’um.” Sadie managed to place the tower of rolls safely on the metal prep table.

    Katie shrank under the woman’s scrutiny checking out her strawberry-blonde hair, fair skin and slight frame with small bulging abdomen. “I’m stronger than I look.” 

    “Um hum. Follow me,” Sadie drawled, steering her charge to a card table in a corner of the great hall. Three circular baskets of knives, forks and spoons sat near a stack of paper napkins. She spread one napkin flat, placed a set of utensils on top, overlaid two triangular corners and tucked the end under forming a tidy bundle. The completed bundles were to be placed on a tray by a stack of plates at the end of the serving table. 

    “Whase a white child doin’ here anyways?” Sadie wrinkled her broad nose as if detecting a bad odor in the air. “When youse finished I’ll show yah what else needs doin’.” 

    Yes, sergeant. Katie felt like saying. She had never come across reverse discrimination before. It didn’t feel good.

    Promptly at twelve noon Major Angela opened the door to the refectory. A long line of hungry people filed into the room in an orderly fashion. Each person picked up a tray with plate and silverware bundle and shuffled to the kitchen counter to be served. Then claimed a chair at one of the long tables.

    Major Wayne stood facing them. “Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of this meal. We ask that your grace stay with us throughout our days. Amen.”

    Whereupon the famished picked up their utensils and shoveled food into their mouths like it might be their last. For most it was their sole meal of the day. 

    Katie went down the rows pouring juice, milk or water to refill their glasses, acknowledged with either “God bless you” or “Thank you, missus.” Humbled by their gratefulness. She expected to see “down and out” men and women, but there were the elderly living on Social Security or Disability, with rheumy eyes and arthritic hands. It was a surprise to see dejected young couples with snot-nosed children, afflicted by “hard times” due to layoffs and unemployment. Their cars a temporary shelter. Low rent housing beyond their means.

    Veterans living on the streets, unable to readjust to civilian life after deployment, composed a sizable group. Off by themselves. Eyes glazed. Strained faces. Burdened with guilt and memories too hard to bear. Katie felt drawn to them like a magnet. 

    “Here little lady. Sit. Rest your feet---” A couple of the men scooted over. Made room for her on the bench. Sensing her compassion and acceptance. “When’s the baby due? This your first?” Treated her like a sister. With little prompting they began to voice their emotions. 

    “Hard being back---Sights we’ve seen---Things we did---Not the same person---Uncontrolled bouts of anger---Loud noises make me duck. Where’s the enemy? The nightmares, Katie.  .  .” Their anguish bubbling forth.  

    They seemed relieved to speak freely. Have someone listen and not be judged. Their plates empty they rose to leave, depositing them in plastic bins. “Good talking with you, Katie. Take care of yourself.” Some hugged her, others waved before disappearing out the door. 

    Major Angela stood beside her, watching them go. “They’re so young to be disillusioned. They don’t feel like heroes. Instead they feel like sacrificial lambs.” 

    Katie helped with cleanup to restore the kitchen to its original state. Sadie warmed to her by the end of the afternoon. “Need to put on some weight, child. Youse eatin’ for two now.” She winked. “Come again, yah hear?”

    Major Angela put an arm around Katie’s waist. “Why don’t you accompany me on my rounds tomorrow? I visit the homeless camps at least once a week. Bring them toilet articles, bottles of water, blankets, vouchers for Goodwill. Even write letters. Let them know someone cares.”

    The woman regarded her intently. “The veterans seem to relate to you. The day would give you insight into how and where they live. Since you’re doing research on the homeless situation in Seattle, the trip should prove worthwhile.” Angela paused. “Besides---I need the help.” A sly smile whisked across her face. “See you tomorrow at eight. Wear sturdy shoes. We’ll be doing a fair amount of walking.”

    Katie watched Angela depart for her office. I’ll bet there aren’t many who’d turn that woman down. I have a lot to share with David and Pat tonight at dinner.