As Our Worlds Collide

Downfall

Morning came pretty quickly-and before Stella even realized it, she was in her classroom, with her test in front of her.

Stella zoned out as she was staring at her untouched exam paper, not moving a muscle. A voice in her head would repeatedly tell her there was no use in doing the exam; that she was going to fail anyway, that she was useless.

shut up, she said in her head, as she was trying to silence the voices.

' Shut up,' she repeated, but it was no use. Stella was slowly having a breakdown failing to silence her head, and she was breathing heavily. As she was trying to control it, the voices got louder.

Stella's eyes filled with tears, and it felt like she was reaching her limit.

'f*****g SHUT UP.' she screamed as she hit the desk with her hands- and she instantly regretted it once she realized what she had done.

Everyone was staring at her, including her teacher- who was standing just a short distance away from her next to the board, looking furious because she misconceived the situation even more, thinking Stella had shouted those words at her.

Stella walked out of the class feeling anger and shame, and she felt everyone's eyes on her at that instant. She didn't know what was going on with her, neither did she know how to deal with it. She felt so much pressure on her shoulders, and it made her weak.

Stella ran to the bathroom, and stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself. Who was she going to run to now? Who did she confide in? She thought and thought as she was staring in the mirror, trying to find just one person she felt comfortable sharing her thoughts with- no one came to mind.

Stella had learned to deal with her stress and worries by herself, because no one ever understood her. She never opened up to anyone; she was battling both herself and the world alone and it had been going on for a really long time.

Stella tried to stop herself from shaking, by holding her hand by the other, and at that moment, her friend Annie came in, followed by Isabelle.

Stella tried to hide her shivers by putting her hands around her waist, squeezing them tightly.

'Girl, what was that tantrum you threw right there?' said Annie, as she was walking up to Stella.

'Yes it was so humiliating, everyone was looking at us after you left thinking we knew what was going on, Stella.' said Isabelle.

'Yes I know, I'm sorry, I just felt too stressed out.' Stella said, trying her best to hold her tears back.

'Stressed out? About what? You didn't even touch the exam paper and you felt stressed already?' Annie said sarcastically.

'Maybe it wasn't because of the exam girl, stop assuming things,' Isabelle said. 'Stella, is everything alright with you and Aiden? Did you have a fight or something?'

Stella pushed her hair to the back of her ears, and just stared at the bathroom sink, for a good fifteen to twenty seconds, which felt like an hour to her friends.

The bell rang, and soon afterwards you could hear crowds of students in the hallways and in the school cafeteria, not so far away from the school bathroom.

'Stella, are you gonna talk or what?' Annie said.

'Relax Annie.' Said Isabelle.

'Give her time.'

'Oh for God's sake, Izzy.' Said Annie, as she looked away from Isabelle and then back at Stella. 'Stella, we're here for you if you want to talk, but for now, we really have to go- I haven't seen Phil today and now that the bell has rang I'll go to his class.'

Isabelle paused, and agreeing with Annie, nodded and said 's**t, yeah, I also have to go, I haven't had breakfast today and now's my chance.'

Stella nodded without hesitance.'Sure yeah go you two, I'm fine- I'll just wash my face, give it a fix and I'll be back in class, that's if I'm not wanted at the principal's office by now.'

Isabelle and Annie left Stella without looking back, and Stella was once again alone with her thoughts.

She rushed into a bathroom stall, locked herself in, and just stood there, looking at the wall.

Girls would come and leave as twenty minutes went by, and Stella was still just standing there locked behind a stall, lost.

The bell rang again and breakfast break was over, and it felt like the place was empty once again. Just as she was preparing to leave her stall, she heard a knock coming from the outer bathroom door.

'Stella? Are you in here?'

Stella recognized that voice immediately, and she didn't know whether it was supposed to comfort her or do the opposite.

'I don't know if I should come in here or not' said Aiden, and soon afterwards Stella could hear his footsteps as he entered the bathroom.

For a moment, Stella decided not to talk, and to remain silent- but she didn't know why.

Aiden walked closer, and Stella could feel his presence right behind the stall.

'Stella?'

No reply.

'Stella, I know you're in there. I recognized your scent the moment I came in here.'

Stella took a deep breath, and decided to reply.

'Hey Aiden.' she said, in a low voice, and immediately a smile drew across Aiden's face.

'H-hey Stella,'

'I heard you barged out of class first period, right in the middle of an exam. Is everything alright?'

Tears ran down Stella's eyes almost immediately, and she said, her voice shaking- 'I don't even know anymore Aiden,'

'everything feels so normal yet so f****d up at the same time, it's like for a moment the heavy weights on my shoulders became even heavier, to a point I could not carry them anymore, yet nothing has happened to cause that to happen.'

'Oh, well, I don't know Stella,' Aiden said, sliding down against the bathroom stall's door and sitting on the floor.

'I feel like you deserve a break from all of this, you're the most hardworking person I know and humans can't just work all the time, you have to let yourself breathe every once in a while.'

Stella paused for a moment.

'But I'll fall behind in school, Aiden, and I can't afford that.' she said, doubtfully.

'So you risk your mental well-being instead?'

'Why? There's nothing wrong with my mental health Aiden, I'm just stressed out.'

'You're fooling yourself, Stella. You pretend like you're alright but it's obvious you're not. Do you think I haven't noticed all the times you zoned out while I was speaking to you? Or when I call you and you sound just like now, and you claim you're alright? Hell, you can't even sleep at night Stella. I've seen the sleeping pills you keep in your room,' Stella held her mouth with her sleeves, trying to not make a sound as she was crying.

'I've seen the anti-depressants, I've witnessed you eating absolutely nothing throughout the day- I've seen it Stella, and I am aware of it all.'

'Then why the f**k haven't you said a word?!' Stella said, furiously.

'You knew about my bad condition, yet you decided to stay silent. Do you even f*****g care, Aiden?!'

'Oh for f**k's sake Stella! What am I supposed to say? Babe is the reason why you take anti-depressants because you're depressed? or baby, why can't you eat like a f*****g human? Stella I've thought about recommending a therapist, but who am I to decide that for you?! You're old enough and surely your mother has noticed, so who am I to interfere?!'

Stella bawled her eyes out, and she wouldn't stop crying.

'Aiden,' spoke Stella. 'You're never there when I need you, Aiden.'

Aiden got up, and as he patted down his pants, said under his breath,

'No f**k this, I'm out.' and off he went, exiting the bathroom, and closing the door behind him with force to ensure Stella heard it.