Chapter 7 — Doubt

1576 Words
POV: Seraphina Vale Present Day — Vale Industries, four days later The lawyers had been exchanging letters for four days, each one more formal and less useful than the last, and I'd almost started to believe we could conduct an entire custody negotiation without either of us being in the same room again. Somewhere in that same four days, the story had leaked — not the twins, thank God, not yet, just a blind item in a gossip column about "a certain reclusive tech CEO" and "a certain billionaire's messy reunion with his ex-wife." Victoria had called me twice. I hadn't answered either time. Vale Industries stock had ticked up two points on the attention alone, which felt like the single most obscene thing to happen to me in a decade of genuinely obscene things. Then Adrian requested a meeting. Just the two of us. No counsel present. Against every instinct I owned, I said yes. Alex was back at school by then, ice pack retired, fully recovered except for a new and passionate interest in "server room security protocols" that I suspected would end with another phone call from Lindenhurst eventually. Aurora had taken to narrating the whole ordeal to anyone who'd listen, casting herself as the hero of the story every time. Life, in other words, had mostly gone back to normal for them. It had not gone back to normal for me. He looked worse than he had at the hospital, which I hadn't thought possible. The kind of tired that doesn't come from one bad night — the kind that settles into a person over days of not sleeping properly, of running numbers in his head that never resolve. His tie was straight, his suit was pressed, and none of it disguised the fact that he'd aged a year in four days. He sat across from my desk instead of standing over it, which was new. Adrian Blackwood, as a rule, did not sit in other people's offices unless he wanted something badly enough to make himself smaller for it. "Thank you for seeing me," he said, which was such an un-Adrian sentence that I actually looked up from my monitor to make sure it had come from him. "You requested it. I assumed it was important." "The testing facility can do Thursday," he said, sliding a folder across the desk. "Chain of custody, independent lab, your attorney can observe the whole collection if you want. I'm not trying to trick you." "How generous." "I'm trying." Something flickered across his face, gone before I could name it. "I know that doesn't mean much from me right now." I looked at the folder without opening it. Four days ago I would have said something sharp and sent him out the door within thirty seconds. I found, instead, that I didn't have the energy for cruelty today, which was its own kind of dangerous — cruelty, at least, I knew how to survive delivering. "Fine," I said. "Thursday." He didn't leave. I watched him sit there, turning something over, and understood he'd come for more than a signature. "Is he mine?" He said it quietly, none of the boardroom flatness from the hospital hallway left in it at all. Just a man, asking the only question that had apparently kept him up for four straight nights. "Not the lawyers. Not the lab. Just you, right now, telling me the truth. Is he mine, Seraphina?" "Why does it matter which way I answer? You'll have your lab result in three days." "Because I haven't slept since the nurse's office. Because I keep looking at photos on my phone of a kid I met one time trying to find pieces of myself in his face, and I don't know if that's real or if I'm just a desperate man inventing a resemblance because the alternative is unbearable. Because I need one person in this to just tell me the truth without making me wait for a machine to do it." I want to tell you I hesitated because I was cruel. That would at least be simple. The truth is, for one unguarded second, I wanted to give it to him — the plain relief of just saying yes, watching whatever was breaking behind his eyes finally stop. I had wanted, once, more than almost anything, for this man to look at me and simply believe what I told him. It would have cost me nothing to say it now, except the last leverage I had left in a war he'd started five years ago in the rain. I thought about a suitcase with a broken strap. I thought about a nurse asking if the father would be joining us, and the particular kind of alone that question had made me feel. I thought about five minutes. "You always believed I was capable of betrayal," I said instead. "Why change your mind now?" He went very still. "That's not an answer." "It's the only one you get." "Seraphina." My name, again, in that low voice that used to undo me and now mostly just made me tired. "Please." "You didn't say please five years ago. You said leave." I kept my voice level, kept my hands folded on the desk where he couldn't see them shaking. "You looked at evidence someone else handed you and decided, in under a minute, that you knew exactly what kind of woman I was. I'm simply asking you to trust your own judgment now the way you trusted it then." "That's not fair." "No," I agreed. "It isn't. Welcome to the last five years." Something in his face broke, then — not anger, which I could have handled, but something closer to grief. Raw. Unguarded. Nothing like the man who'd sat across from a board of investors two weeks ago without blinking. For one terrible second I watched him actually hope for it — the exit, the version of this where none of it was real, where he could go back to hating a memory instead of loving two children he'd only just met. "So there's a chance," he said, half to himself. "There's a real chance he isn't." I said nothing. I let him build whatever version of the truth he needed to survive the next three days until Thursday, because some poisoned, exhausted part of me believed he deserved to sit with uncertainty for exactly as long as I had. "Who," he said, quieter now. "If not me. Who." "That's not a conversation I owe you." "I have a right to know who's raising my—" He caught himself. Not his. Not anymore, in the version of the story he was building for himself, brick by desperate brick. "Who's raising them. If they're not mine." "You have a right to a lab result on Thursday. That's what you get. That's what you asked for." "Seraphina, if there's another man in their lives, I'm not trying to insert myself into—" "There isn't another man." The sentence was out before I'd fully decided to let it be, and I watched him seize on it instantly, hope moving across his face so fast it was almost cruel to watch. I let the silence after it do exactly what it wanted to do, which was mean absolutely nothing at all while sounding like it meant everything. "Then—" "I said there isn't another man. I didn't say anything else." I folded my hands tighter on the desk. "You'll have your answer Thursday, Adrian. Same as everyone else." He stood, finally, and I watched five years of careful composure try to reassemble itself across his face and mostly fail. At the door, he stopped. "For what it's worth," he said, not turning around, "I hope I'm wrong. About all of it. I hope you built a life so far from me that nothing I did five years ago is still touching it." "You should have hoped that four days ago, before you called your attorney from a hospital hallway." He left without answering that. I sat alone in an office I'd built out of nothing, listening to the elevator doors close on a man I'd just handed a lie built entirely out of true sentences. It didn't feel half as much like winning as I'd spent five years assuming it would. Alex was mine. Aurora was mine. They were his too, whether either of us was ready for what that meant, and I had just spent ten minutes letting their father believe otherwise because it was the only weapon I had left that could actually reach him. I picked up my phone twice to call him back and correct it. Twice, I set it back down. There was a version of me, once, who chose honesty even when it cost her everything — who stood in the rain with a suitcase, telling the truth to a man who'd already decided not to believe her. That version of me had lost. I wasn't in a hurry to try her methods again. I told myself it was fair. Looking at that closed elevator, I almost believed it. Thursday was three days away. I had three days to decide whether I could actually go through with watching him find out the truth from a lab report instead of from me. Three days felt like both far too long and nowhere near enough.
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