The Sight Beyond The Haze

Chapter 70: The Castle on the Painting

I immediately spotted a countryside castle.

At the far distance, I saw a castle which seemed to be so familiar to me yet so foreign. I remember entering as though I was seeing myself and now being on my own perspective's feet. It was such an odd thing to recall. I tried remembering where I have seen it, but I could only imagine a few fragments. Like a woman being barefoot as she strode through the grassy earth, a man with green eyes, and a boy with silver eyes who was wearing a great billowing white robe.

My eyes travelled down to myself and saw that I was wearing a simple sundress while my feet reveled at the touch of the trimmed grass, tickling my skin. The sun was high up in the sky and I thought it would scorch me but someone was already holding an umbrella up for me. The sun's light blinded me still as my eyes tried to find the person, looking up at the shade of that the umbrella provided for me.

I felt my hands rubbed against the picnic mat beneath me and there wind blew so gently, relieving the scorch of the sun.

"Deo?" I whispered to him.

I have only glimpsed at Deo's real face for one time, a very brief glance that was, and I have never imagined that his face had been imprinted within my mind so vividly. His silver eyes have been plagued with both wrath and rage then, and there was also a touch of fear. His thin lips was frowning down at me, resembling the crescent shape of his mask's lips.

"What are you doing here?"

Instead of answering me, he held out his hand to me. He was talking about something, I think, but I could not make out any words from his lips. Before we both realized it, I was already standing up and hugging him tightly. Both of my hands were holding on to his nape, my head was tilted to lean on the side of his ear, feeling if Deo was real.

He was warm to the touch and the scorch of the sun justified that my pain was real.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him yet again and I wanted to repeat the same question just so I know that he would know it was me and to make certain that he has heard me.

"What do you mean by that, Seraphin?" he asked in return. "Eris is probably waiting for us, it's time for her tea party."

"A tea party?" I shook my head, feeling whiplashed though I do not know why. "Yes, of course."

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, still uncertain. Why was I uncertain, I do not know why, but there was an itching sense on my palm down to my toes that was telling me I have to do something. It was the same sense and feeling of walking into a room only to forget what you were about to do. I shook my head to myself again.

Deo, however, was already arranging the things atop the picnic mat I was sitting on earlier. He was carefully putting the saucers and dishes on a basket, even the leftover foods, and it was quite odd to see Deo being so domesticated, I guess.

I would never have imagine him doing trivial things to be quite honest. Even when he was right beside me, he still seemed to be so faraway.

His hair, which was usually loose behind his back, was on a high ponytail. It was brown underneath the harsh sun up above, reaching down to his slender waist. Unlike what he was usually wearing, Deo was in a white long-sleeved polo shirt and a white slacks. It was quite disorienting to see him without either his pure black or white robes and his mask.

His thin eyebrows were knotted in the middle, concentrating on the task of putting our things to the basket. I say beside him ans tried to straighten his knotted brows.

"I will help you."

I started gathering the other things and the trash. After folding the picnic mat, Deo nodded at me to follow him to the pathwalk. He was the one who held the basket as we walked down the hill. The castle was not far ahead of us. In fact, it would not take us much to get there via foot. I could see the patio already despite the hedges that decorated its yard.

"Where are we?" I asked him, my head tilting on each side as I scrutinized the castle.

It was large but despite its size, it looked stuffy like I could suffocate for the amount of rooms inside of that castle. Rooms. Carpets. Tapestries. Memories. Other things.

I hesitated, my foot stopped in the middle of my step. Sensing the absence of his companion, Deo looked back at me, turning his whole attention to me. He rose his thin brows and his silver eyes wore an askance expression.

What is it? he seemed to say.

"Who are we having tea with?" I instead asked and happily walked down on where he was.

I almost stumbled but Deo was quick to catch me. I smiled at me, finding it hard to breathe. My body felt sluggish somehow and my head was a little dizzy.

"Are you okay?"

"I feel faint," I responded to Deo and tried to stand up on my own but knees trembled for some reason. I knotted my brows on myself, frowning with my weakness.

Why was I like this today?

"Hop on,"Deo said. He knelt in front of me, his back was the one I could see.

I just gazed intently at his back, wondering what was I supposed to do. With his free hand, he patted his back. It seemed to me that he was gesturing for me to rude his back which does not made any sense to me.

"What?" I asked, befuddled with the gesture of his hand on his back.

"Hop on, Sera," he repeated then gestured again with his hand.

I smiled at that and grabbed on both of his slender shoulders. Letting my head lie on his back, I felt that the breeze on my face was gentle and it felt that it was lulling me to a deep slumber.

"Where are we?" I asked again to Deo, but he did not answer me. I closed my eyes, feeling his warmth on my cheek.

Deo's warmth.

I have never felt it before, he was always so very cold to the touch and it made him so detached to me.

He was very warm.

Warm.

My brows knotted with that.

Deo was warm?

"Your temperature," I whispered to Deo, "seems to have risen."

That made me wake up from the slumber I was put under. I shook my head, clearing my head with the lulling sense that Deo's methodically steps inflicted to me.

"I would like to walk. I want to walk, Deo," I suddenly announced and patted his shoulder. He stopped, pausing for few seconds, before heeding my request.

"I thought you feel faint?" he asked me worriedly but I shook my head at him and just smiled.

"I would like to walk beside you."

I then walked the short distance between us and the castle, sweat dripped from my temple to my neck. I looked back behind to see Deo, still walking the steep hill.

I noticed their absence.

Gold flutterings around, warm to the touch but deadly. Where were they, Deo?

I stood in the middle of the road, already out of the hills. It was a dirt road, dried with the scorching heat. I looked down at my hands and felt that I was about to cry.

When Deo was already in front of me, I hugged him tightly again. I sighed, a deep and heavy one as though I was Atlas, carrying the world on both of my shoulders. The lightness that I felt from earlier suddenly weighed me down.

I do not want to let go.

Of him.

"I met my sister today, you know?" I told him. "She was beautiful and so incredibly strong and she has what it takes to be an actual great leader. Or at least that is what I think as I watch her in action."

"Is that not great?" Deo asked me and patted me on my back comfortably. "Meeting your sister, seeing her again. Getting to see her face."

And you should have known that, I thought and snuggled closer then let go of my hug to him.

My eyes searched his face, still not believing that my memory could conjure up such a realistic depiction of him.

I caressed his face with both of my hands. He was warm, so warm that it ws burning me. His heart shaped face was very pretty paired with thin lower lip and very plump bow shaped upper lip. He does not have a second lid, but his phoenix eyes were piercing if not cold.

He has always been cold, I thought with disorietation.

Always so cold.

With his free hand, he caressed the hand of mine that was holding his face before he spoke in a light manner, "If you stare at me so intently, won't you drill a hole right in my own face? Sera?"

"I plan to drill holes all over your face," I whispered to him. "I'm always so forgetful, I am afraid of ever not recalling your face. I often forget that I have even seen you without your mask on."

I smiled bitterly, sighing in sadness. How could I ever remove myself from this place? This place where Deo would go on picnics with me and do the most trivial things. How could I just leave this world?

My eyes found the castle yet again. I remember that it was the topic of our longest conversation, the one where a duke or maybe an earl lived on. It was a painting on Leigh's mansion's gallery.

The one that I said was a very sad painting. There was something about it that drew Deo close. It was a spontaneous act on his part, I guess. Him telling about the story of that young lord, but I remember being sad about it.

To be petrified and to be a thing of the past, how sad that must have been.

I realized that I wanted to escape, away from everything, and this must have been it. My gateway.

"I am always so forgetful, so please pardon me, yes?"

Deo's brows met in the middle of his forehead. A slight smile was on his lips and that only made me sadder still. I tipped on my toes and hugged Deo again.

"You are not real," I whispered gently to this counterfeit. "Deo has always been cold but he could always bring me the comfort that I need. While you... you scorch me until I almost become ashes and sunburnt. You would never ever smile because you are sly and also shy."

Finally, as in finally, I took a step back away from this Deo.

Fake, I thought.

Was it to lure me here? To make me stay and lose myself? I looked down in my left, seeing that some of its fingers was almost gone now.

"I cannot stay here," I told him.

"Why not?" asked Deo.

"Because you are not him and I will die with you here if I stay, and if I actually do, we will both die. I will die without seeing Deo. And the most wonderful thing about him, his light. And you always call me Seraphin."

I reached with my hand on my hair, pulling out the golden light butterfly, still blazing with their usual glimmer and light. I was so forgetful that I almost forget them, I almost forget that they were on my hair and I could still rely on them.

I gathered magical energy on my hand, I walked closely to this one. When I gathered enough magical energy, I pierced him through his stomach.

He was as disappointing as I thought.

He vomitted blood like he was a mortal person and he looked at me as though he cannot believe that I would hurt Deo. I swallowed the spit and the vomit that went up to my throat. I kept telling myself that he was never real. This was an illusion that this illusory fragment conjured up for me.

Because I wanted it.

But then... I really do not.

It does not feel genuine or sincere, I guess, so I had to kill this version that was so sweet it was choking me. He does not feel like the Deo I knew.

I let my hand out of his stomach, my hand fer sticky with his blood splattered all over it. For a moment, I completely panicked and thought if I have attacked the real Deo.

My heart started racing. Feeling suffocated, I breathed deeply but it did not helped me.

Then he just suddenly disappeared along with the bloodstain and I plunged into a world where it was Idris' purest wish that was coming true.

I still felt Deo's bloodstain on my hand.