The Sight Beyond The Haze

Chapter 68: One Condition

"Are you really going to help us?" I asked Idris.

Idris' dark green eyes flashed to my direction. Her long hair was cascading down her back, curled and lighter than mine. There was a permanent, a certain way about her; mischief on the eyes and smirk on her lips. I realized that next to her, I looked like a liquefied version of her.

Like a ghost, I thought.

She shrugged casually and said nonchalantly, "I'm here so I might as well."

She said those words easily as though she was just about to go with Cocytus and me for a quick stroll around the academy and not to apprehend a kidnapper.

"Does Lady Imbert know that we already know?" I asked Cocytus who shook his head as a response, not even wasting for a breath to speak. "Then surprised is on our side. We can apprehend her after the party, we would have to surveil her throughout the length of the prom."

"I'm sure that she already suspected something though," Cocytus then said, "Zachriel is gone, and so is Anasthasia. You and I were also out of her sight."

"It would cause her to panic," Idris suddenly interevened, "making her feel restless. Your absences would play games on her mind. Do they already know? How did they know? Why aren't they striking? What are they waiting for still? It would drive her insane, insane enough to make a mistake."

I nodded, agreeing with my sister.

"We would just watch her until the end," I told them both, "if nothing happens, then we'll make the confrontation peacefully and that would be preferable if I'm being frank with you too."

The three of us agreed that we would be separating from one another, looking at Haziel Imbert at different angles. Cocytus insisted that he would be surveying the outside of the building, but his eyes told me of another thing.

He would be waiting for the Hybrid to appear for they surely will at this rate.

I looked beside me, at Idris who was crouching silently, waiting for anything to happen. She may be shorter than me by a few distance, but she was no delicate flower. I could still remember the impact of her arrows, forceful and indiscriminating. I could still feel her arrows' touch on my hands.

We were currently on the second floor of the venue, although it was technically just on one floor, it was broke apart by a grand staircase. The second floor overlooked the whole first floor, like an arena for gladiators and was the ideal place to do some surveillance since people downstairs were quite busy with the occassion. Idris and I both entered the backdoor in the hopes that we would be able to conceal our presence from any unwanted guests.

"What are you looking at?"

I pursed my lips and shook my head, training my eyes towards Haziel whose eyes were looking contently on the platform where the host and the hostess were talking, she looked like she was just watching. At this distance, I could still her delicate face formed like a heart. Her hair color for this was blue and it truly matched her perfectly.

She was not Deo, I thought to myself, she was not ever Deo and she will never be.

"You like her," Idris said out loud, a realization was lighting her dark green eyes which became more of a hazel shade than green due to the good lighting of the interior of the building.

I kept quiet still.

It was not her that I liked.

"Mother would be disappointed," Idris whispered under her breath. "She would hope that you would bear children, power and beautiful children, to continue our lineage. Not that I'm being a homophobic or what, I'm just saying that many people would not like your preference in gender well. I just thought you'd know that even Dalcanorian and Mage and Warriors would not be understanding. Though it isn't unheard of, of course."

I sighed.

Mother, that word slipped out of her tongue so easily that I was actually quite jealous. But she said that not in a serious tone but on a playful one, like she was teasing me. Teasing me, I could not even believe my own words.

My eyes slipped towards Haziel Imbert all over again. Not to her atually, but to her beloved and delicate face. A golden light butterfly perched on my nose seemingly like it was comforting me.

"I cannot remember her that well," I answered Idris and I think we both understood who was that 'her' person that I was talking about. "But that would be okay. To disappoint her just a little."

Idris looked at me with disbelief and then back to Haziel who was sitting down over there, as beautiful as ever in her blue ballgown.

"Why did you like her?" Idris curiously asked, her brows were both raised and she was looking at me like she actually expected me to answer.

I looked away from her and fixed my eyes to Haziel Imbert, but Idris was stubborn as it seemed. She stretched her neck to the level of my gaze and mouthed some words. I did understand the words despite refusing to take a single direct glance towards her.

"Whyyy?" she repeated in a sing-song tune.

I clenched my jaw and gazed at her with disbelief before speaking so she would seal her mouth, "Why are you even asking? It does not matter."

Idris's eyes were casted downward, her lips trembling slightly and, before I knew it, she was staring at me wirh glassy-eyed expression like she was about to cry.

"It's my way of bonding with you," she told me with a small pout of her plump lips.

I almost cursed. Was this what they called guilt tripping? Because I cannot absolutely deal with this.

"You forgot me, then you won't even treat me as your sister," she even added, giving great emphasis on the negatives on ber sentence. "You must think me so annoying for appearing then suddenly acting like we are actual sisters. For a moment, I felt that I have someone I could rely on. Like finally, but that isn't the case, I guess."

And then I wanted to curse myself.

She did say some points and I got to give her that, but I knew that this guilt tripping over the fact that I could not remember her because my memory has been severely damaged was just a simple ploy to get me to reveal what she wanted to hear.

"It was not her that I like," I finally revealed with a sigh at the end.

Immediately, Idris' pout faded into a mischievous smile and she leaned closer to me whereas I still refused to look at her. I could feel warmth spreading through my cheeks down to my neck and even up to both of my ears. I cannot believe that Idris made me blush while we were in a serious mission.

"Then what do you mean?"

I pursed my lips, closing my eyes for a second because I felt uncomfortable with her prodding and also with the spear that was almost as tall as me which I was holding just in any case that something happen or the Hybrid attack out of nowhere.

"Deo has been using her face whenever he is with me," I responded quietly.

Idris was silent for a whole minute and when I looked at her, I see sadness on her face. Sadness that was directed at me. I think I also saw some pity on those beautiful green eyes.

"What is it?" I asked her, my eyes were already on Haziel Imbert's figure.

There were no people on the second floor of this hall and that played on our favor since this was a great vantage point for us. I could still see my sister looking at me with the same forlorn expression. It was quite disorientating how easily Idris change her expressions. One moment she was jumping up and down from happiness, the next she was a complete different person.

"You know you can't be with him, right?" she finally said after a long time of silence. "You will die and he will continue existing because that's just the way of our lives are. Always has been. I'm going to die too, but Lord Deo? He would not die, he'd stay on this earth even when you die and even when I die, and that is bound to happen."

I nodded solemnly. I never thought of what the future might unfold for me, I never even thought about my own survival. If ir was possible for me to regain all of my memories, that would be great but what if I remained like this? An empty shell of what I had been?

I wanted to be my own person and not the one the person that Erina Alaric and Zachriel created for me.

"I am but a mortal being, I know that sooner or later I will die. But was it too sinful to long for something I have never felt, for something I would not feel in the future?"

"I think Great Uncle Leigh has had sons and daughters, but I'm certain that it wasn't a hobby of his, otherwise, why would he even adopt Cocytus. Right? Is there any records about half-Deity and half-mortals? Great Uncle Leigh's sons and daughters weren't written in history so I guess there's only a slim chance."

I chuckled lowly with my sister's wild imagination.

"I thought you'd be like Mother," she suddenly shared, "unfeeling and heartless. Or maybe that's how the sociey and the Noble Families and, especially, the royal family formed her to be. A cold b***h without any regards to other people. If ever that Lord Deo actually likes you back, don't you think you'll just hurt him? What do you think?"

I was the one who turned silent this time.

Would I hurt him with my mortality? But then I was not even certain of how he feels and does that really matter right now? When I thought of it really, maybe I would not be able to survive out there. I cannot see myself out of this situation but I also do not want myself to live as a puppet of my mother and the other peoole who wanted to desperately use me.

"That is quite true," I said to my sister. "I do not know what I should say, but maybe Deo would not be so hurt as you are thinking."

"Yeah," Idris agreed with me, "I mean he's an immortal after all, maybe he's already thought of it ahead."

"It is good that you are here, Idris," I said and smiled at her warmly, or at least, I thought it was warm.

"I'm not here just because I wanted to," she then said, her eyes were trained to Haziel Imbert but it seemed to me that she was just avoiding my gaze. "I would accompany you to the Dalcanorian Territories but I have a condition before I do that."

I stilled for a moment after hearing that and based on the subtle change on Idris' movement, she also observed that stillness on me too.

"Tell me what is it."

I heard Idris took a deep breath like she was about to drop a bomb on my head so, just in case that she would actually do just that, I prepared myself for whatever it was that she wanted to say. I straightened my back and paid more attention to her, turning my head slightly on her direction though my whole attention was solely on Haziel who was now talking with Layla.

"Give the Eirini to me," she said in a straight tone and for that I knew that she was talking to me and that she was serious about it.

"But Eirini is not a toy that could be given to anyone," I said.

It was Idris' turn to be frozen. She looked at me with disbelief, her hand that was on her bow trembled slightly. I knew that she must be angry right now, but what I said was the truth.

Eirini consisted of thousands of Dalcanorians, Mages, Warriors, and even Weavers like Zachriel. It was not a toy that could fulfill our satisfactions to ourselves and just because Idris wanted it for the reason that she was the one who has been with the Eirini for a long time, I cannot just simply 'give' it to her.

"So it seems that I do not have any reasons to be here then," Idris said, acid dripping from her every words.

"Idris, I cannot give the Eirini for you because it has never been mine in the very first place, I am also not saying that I was ever interested with it," I told her, averting her gaze. "I do not know what the future would have for me, but I hoped for the best and the one of the many reasons why I suffered of manipulation for ten years, I would make sure that it would not be part of another ten years of my life. If you want the responsibility, then by all means, strive for it to be yours but I do not want any part of it."