The Sight Beyond The Haze

Chapter 27: Unable To Reach

The first thing I did was to try to kill Zachriel.

It was only bad luck that I could not find anywhere inside the Amitiel. Behind me and even just around me, I saw the traces of the golden butterflies flying around, undoubtedly keeping an eye on me for Deo.

Within those fragmented memories that came back to me, there were still questions I need to be answered.

Why would my mother Lady Alaric, and I only remember she was called that way since my whole memory still have not recovered just yet, make Lord Zachariel Legrand use Zachriel to alter my memory? And why, of all the people, it needed to be Zachriel when he was only just a child like me when he altered and manipulated my memories?

Most of all, what's Deo got to do with anything?

Even now that I knew I was not and never just Seraphim Griyego, it was still a wonder to me why would Deo, a powerful being, help me? Actually, I cannot remember quite clearly my real name and I don't think I could distinguish memories from when they were altered or from when they were actually happening.

I had been so many people.

I had the ballet dancer, Phinny.

I had been the heiress, Serfin.

I had been a fencer and a national champion, Seraph.

I had been so many people that it got me thinking, was being Seraphim Griyego a reality still or just a fragment of what Zachriel wanted me to be? Those questions they kept asking.

How real am I?

It got my mind wondering around that very question. Was I really ever like this? Quiet and reserved? Without any friends? Or was my personality, even that, was manipulated and created in the need for the situation?

I still do not understand how I was under Mr. Tharraleos' care and not with the side of Zachriel, but would I have met Deo if I was not?

I was confused, but what I was certain of was that I was furious, both my mind and my heart were full wrath towards those people. The only one I could physically grasp and reach with my hands though was only one person, and that was Zachriel.

"Where is he?" I demanded at Hermes Run and Caspian Cashel.

They both looked at me with wide eyes and opened mouth. Both were dumbfounded, and I was not even certain if they were ever going to answer my question since they continued to just gaze at me with the same dumbfounded expression. It was Haziel Imbert, the real one, who answered to my inquiry with a glance while the other two were avoiding a direct contact with my eyes.

There was a knowing glint in her gaze at me as though she already knew the reason why I was asking so rudely and she gave me a free pass for being quite rude to them, just bursting inside the room and throwing that question without any explanations.

I could trace a smirk, mocking and sarcastic, at the edge of her lips and I cannot believe that the physical form of that lips was something I was attracted to before, almost kissing it fervently in my muddled mind.

"Where is he?" I hissed yet again. "Where is Lord Zachriel Legrand?"

I was at their classroom, even some of their classmates have started to stare at me— a stranger inside their room, something that does not quite fit the picture of their everyday lives.

"Good morning, Seraphim!" I heard Layla Gwen's squeaky voice but I only ignored it. When I did not answered her, she only spoke more in her irritating voice. "Well, someone's woke up at the wrong side of the bed."

"He's out," Haziel finally answered, while the other two were still speechless. "I take it that you already know?"

I calmly nodded my head, but within that neutral expression I always wore, and still wore now, my mind was in turmoil. I want to screamed myself hoarse and I want to get mad and angry.

But I maintained composure and only nodded as though I have the power to control my emotions.

"What do you mean by out?" I asked Haziel Imbert.

Haziel shook her head and pursed her lips, the blue of her hair was quite an ache to the head. It was as though her head was floating and, for the first time, I could smell the scents of the chemicals mixed in with her hair. It was not the right time, but now I cannot help but wonder why her hair has not decayed yet by chemicals with the numerous times she changed her hair colors.

"He's moving out of the academy, that's actually what I mean when I said he was out," Haziel responded and it was my turn to purse my lips.

"He is a coward, tell him," I hissed at Haziel, "does he know?"

"That your memories have finally returned?" she asked, the mocking sense on her voice and expression faded into a serious one. "Of course, he does. He was the one who meddled with it, putting all those ridiculous spells on your mind. He treated your mind like a sinking ship and proceeded on tampering it thinking that you needed a repair when.... you know now, Lady Seraphin."

"When he was the one who put holes all over my mind," I finished for her. "And you all helped him."

"La-lady... Lady S-seraphin..." Caspian stuttered. He was then silenced when I directed my glance at him, sharp and piercing.

"That's Lady Alaric for you, Cashel," I enunciated at him, "all of you, actually. How dare you..." I sighed a shallow breath, not really wanting to waste any more air on the traitors. "Tell me where he is, traitors."

Suddenly all three of them stood up and bowed at me. There were ashamed expressions on their faces and when my eyes found theirs, demanding to be seen and noticed, they did not dare to look away from me. Even Haziel, whom I deemed worthy or maybe because I was too biased since Deo always used her face when they meet with me, did not dare to utter a single word when she realized the gravity of my words and gaze.

"Tell me where Zachriel Legrand is," I ordered at them, my blood was boiling with wrath that I thought I might just kill someone purely by my own eyes.

It was only Layla Gwen who was looking up at us with a clueless expression that did not express her respect to me. She was pouting and her hand was tugging at Caspian's polo uniform.

"What does she mean by Alaric?" she asked, still tugging. "As in Alaric, the Alaric? I thought she was just—?"

Layla Gwen was then cut short by Hermes Run whose bow went even lower. The stares of their classmates grew stronger and harsher, wondering why would they bow down to a nobody such as me.

"He's at the gate, Lady Alaric," Hermes answered, "do you want us to accompany you?"

"What is that suppose to mean?" I demanded yet again. "Why is he not here?"

I saw all of them flinched with the coldness of my voice and I revelled in their fear. It has been so long since we have seen each other, they did nothing to gain my trust. Not even the smallest of help.

But then why would they?

They probably do not even care about anything that has got to do with me. Only that I was a daughter of some probably important person. I wa not even certain how important that particular Lady Alaric was, but at the rate that they were reacting with my coldness, she was probably someone really important.

"He was called by the Thirteen Noble Seats," Hermes continued which made my confusion deepened. "Lady Alaric, you can still get to him."

My mind frowned at the unfamiliar term, but I did not bother asking since someone had interrupt.

"Probably," Caspian muttered under his breath which made me glare towards him.

"No one asked you to speak, Cashel," I told him rather harshly. Before any of them could speak again, I was already turning my back to run towards the door.

"So you know about every single now, what are you going to do?" I heard Haziel asked behind me. "And how much of the truth do you know, Lady Alaric?"

I pursed my lips and composed myself first before turning towards to her direction. There was the same neutral expression on my face that I was certain they all have become accustomed to.

"I'm just going to give Lord Legrand a good beating after what he had been doing to my mind for the past ten years," I answered Haziel and truly turned back.

I still saw the lingering golden light butterflies flying around so I know that Deo must be around, maybe they were disguised as one of the students or teachers. And I have the greatest feeling that they were the one who truly unveiled my memories to me.

That was because Deo wanted me to get out of this place.

I ran towards the gates of Academia Amitiel and I never really appreciated before how big this academy was until I was already in a situation where I need to get somewhere fast. My lungs kept on heaving bouts of fresh air into my body, but it was useless against the pumping blood within my veins and arteries.

Then I saw him.

Zachriel Legrand, the person whom I felt a connection to, was standing in front of a car. He was talking to Miss Henrietta Amitiel, the headmistress of the academy. So this was the reason, I guess. Why he was so familiar to me to the point that I could see him even in my those nightmares that I used to call dreams.

He was the last person I would see everytime my nemories would be altered drastically, when I needed to move to another place— something I was still not certain the reason of.

I was fuming mad and I could feel the hotness of my face, even at the sides of my eyes were burning with hot wrath.

"Zachriel Legrand," I called him calmly.

Both Miss Henrietta Amitiel and Zachriel looked at me with a confusion and bewilderment. Then they both looked at one another before turning to me. Both of them were at the other side of the road.

"We need to talk," I told him then I turned towards Miss Henrietta, "Good morning, Miss, I'm sorry for the intrusion."

"No, it's fine," Miss Henrietta responded and smiled at us both. Before going, she patted Zachriel's shoulder and nodded at him. Behind us, we could hear the sharp clank of her heels on the ground.

"Seraphim," he greeted at me and nodded his head respectfully. "What do you want to talk about?"

I sighed deeply, but it did noting to alleviate with the heavy feeling of my chest. I still feel wronged and angered. Worst of all, I do not actually know how to start berating him or maybe even fighting him. Even now that I was just standing in front of him, I could not glimpse of the cruel person in my dreams.

The Zachriel in front of me looked gentle and delicate. His eyes, though I have called them as freezing before, were actually in a warm dark shade. Not quite black, but also did not satisfy the shade of brown color. That pair was looking at me deeply, worry was embedded within those eyes.

I closed my eyes.

I refused to look at him when he was looking like a good person. When he was looking at me with concern when all that were embedded on my head was his brutality towards my mind, my memories, and inhumanity towards my rights as a living being have all been violated.

"You will give me answers," I told him, actually I ordered him. I saw a slight shift on his eye, a small widening and a glint of shock. "What exactly is Eirini? And why would you ever change my memories?"

He did not respond immediately.

Zachriel bent his head down, either of shame or something else, I was not certain. I saw his knuckles turned white for making a fist too hard and the way his jaw was clenched tightly that I could see the veins protruded on his skin.

"Eirini is the a part of the Dalcanoraz's governement that's leading one of its mainlands and your mother, Lady Erina Alaric, leads," he finally answered, but his voice restrained and I was right to think it was because of shame. "Your mother is involved in a ten year war against another faction within the magical community, the Haefen. You knew of all of the magic sytems as of now, don't you?"

I nodded though I was not certain if he could see me.

"Yes," I then whispered calmly, but my mind wandered slightly away from what we were talking about. So my real mother's name was that, Erina Alaric.

She was not familiar to me, not to my mind and not to my heart.

"Yes," he repeated, "otherwise you wouldn't have been able to take down the mudtrap. How? Lady Seraphin, how did you become aware? I have been altering your memory for ten years now, and this has never happened before. Furthermore, how did you get into this academy?"

My jaw clenched automatically and I felt coldness replaced the leniency I was prepared to give to him.

"It is not your right to ask me questions," I spat at him, "not even a single one, you have lost that right when you violated my mind. r***d and manipulated it as though I was not a human being, but a practice mannequin."

Zachriel's head went even lower with my remark. It was too grating and severe in the ears, but what he did... can he justify it?

"Why?" I asked him, and we both were aware the question I was pertaining to.

"There is a war going on in the magical community, that even the royal family is struggling to find any positive results. Lady Seraphin Alaric's father, your father," Zachriel started in a low voice, "used to be the head of the Haefen, the opposing faction of Eirini. The members of the Haefen are seeking Lady Seraphin Alaric to become the next head and, consequently, crush the system of Eirini by announcing you have disowned Lady Erina Alaric, your mother, by standing at the Haefen's side."

"So they would be discouraged," I conclunded. Zachriel nodded respectfully again. "And my father?" I inquired at him. "He was the one who ordered me to be found? Is that correct?"

That was when Zachriel's head turned towards me, lifting from how it faced the ground. On his pair of eyes, there were shock and astonishment.

"She has not remembered everything then," he muttered to himself though I could hear him. "Is that right? You haven't remembered everything yet, Lady Alaric."

"What has become of my father!" I demanded at him, ny eyes remained unfeeling and unfazed by his shock. "I am asking you a question, you will answer to me!"

"Of course," he muttered, guilt was tainting his tone, "your father was killed, Lady Alaric," he finally answered, "by the current head of the Haefen, your uncle— Araqiel Elliot. I'm sorry, my lady."

I blinked rapidly.

"L-lord... Lord Adonai Elliot, your father," Zachriel stuttered, "is a great man and I am sure you missed him dearly."

"Shut your mouth, Legrand," I said impatiently, but there was ache in my chest. In my heart. "I cannot miss a person that this mind has never known."

There was ache.

I do not know from where, but I was certain I could feel it when he mention my real biological father. And I had a father and a mother whom I used to be with, but cannot remember anything about.

How cruel were they really?

"My father was killed so Arack—" I hesitated, not familiar at all with the name, but Zachriel said it again and politely corrected me, "Araqiel Elliot could usurp the power away from him. Now he would like to use me to discourage the Eirini members to fight in a decade long war..."

My voice faded.

There was one more unanswered question.

War. For that so-called war, my presence was needed to be hidden so nobody would be able to use me either as a form of freedom, hope, or a victory.

"There is one more thing," I said to Zachriel, "why—"

I was about to ask him my last question until my eyes refocused on something behind Zachriel, mindlessly zigzagging on the road. I was not thinking, and yes, I really panicked that my mind was not straight. The next thing that I did was to call on the golden butterflies flying around, lingering behind the shadows.

I knew there was something wrong with that truck, purposely going from lane to lane and honking at us.

I pushed Zachriel away from the path of the rampaging car with the assistance of the butterflies. I felt in their pulsating vibrance that there were uneasiness within them and knew instantly that my hunch was actually right. As I finally took a look at the truck, I saw on the mirror of the car that Zachriel was supposed to hop on that Deo was racing towards me.

In the suddenness of the situation, they were not able to have changed their face to someone else. The mask on their face was a black as the night and even on their expasinve robes, there was a hint of grayness or maybe it was the influence of the tint of the car's glass.

"Deo—" I was supposed to turn back until I realized that there was someone else inside the car. Maybe the driver. In this time, there was not enough golden light butterflies to give me assistance so within that split seconds, I get inside the car and pulled the driver out. The driver's seat was on the other side of the car and it would be a waste of time to circle back.

The butterflies that put Zachriel into safety was called on again by me to place the driver and me into some place safe. My palms were both sweaty as I ran away from the car dragging the driver that was frozen into a statue out of its wits. It continued to stare at the oncoming truck and I was greatly slowed down by it.

In front of me was still Deo and it seemed as though time has frozen still for them, they continued to run towards me but they were not fast enough. The last of my effort was spent to order the butterflies to take the driver away. The dumbfounded driver was only a feet away being dragged by two butterflies, all the while they were pulsating so deeply that I felt as though they were both warning me.

Within that feet away, the oncoming truck has finally hit me and, at the same time, Deo reached me.