The Sight Beyond The Haze

Chapter 19: Clothed in White Clothes

I was not certain how I got out of that state.

Both of my hands, that were only gripping Deo's snow white robes, crawled to my neck. There was a sense of thirst on my throat, drying with a certain craving. My hands ranked my neck to my face and even my long hair. They were waiting, but for what it was waiting for, I was also not certain.

My tongue darted outside my lips, giving it a touch of moist from the cracking skin of my lips.

I screamed, and I screamed yet again.

My whole body writhed at the echoes of the siren's song inside my mind. It was no more and that thing I was certain for, but it was stuck inside my stubborn head. It kept on being repeated, over and over and over until I could feel a trickle of a wet substance on both of my ears. By then, my hands were still clawing at everything they touched.

I tasted dirt on my lips as my body convulsed with heat and twisted with agony. There was the faint fragrance of fresh flowers which was quite an impossible feat considering the autumn has rapidly taking every freshness seen and possible. Above me, it was glowing with stars and those stars were moving around.

They touched me, but the warmth and comfort they gave did nothing to alleviate my feeling. It was overwhelming that I could not think about anything else, the build up inside my very own body. It was quite disgusting, not just shameful. There was a thin sheen of sweat on the surface of my skin. It was making the dirt and leaves stuck on my moist skin.

"Seraphim," I heard a familiar voice called out to me.

Unconsciously, I reached out my hand pleadingly and heaved a couple of air towards my heavy lungs. It was too hard to breath, and my muscles were either contracting or stiffening. My abdominal muscles were twsiting inside me, a great cacophony of various bessechment to me.

"That was quite a powerful song just for you," I heard the same person whispered to me. "Shh, I am here."

The earthy taste of dirt on my lips suddenly faded. There was a gentle nudge on both of my upper and lower lips, a delicate tap. It was almost an imperceptible presence on my face, very much similar how the thin lash from your eyes might fall on your cheek witout ever knowing its intrusion. Until a wind might blew to your face and the imperceptible presence that had intruded upon your very person was finally removed.

It was that soft.

Under the fervent condition, if it was just my imagination or reality; there was also a delicate touch on my forehead. It was cool and refreshing against the hot temperature of my whole body. Deo's hair was a black curtain that separated us from the outside world.

My hand quickly wrapped around Deo's nape and drew them closer. Amidst the tons of white fabric of Deo's robes that even became our very own blanket, I felt comfort. It was then that Deo finally does not recoil from making physical contact to me.

I was entangled on the same cloth as them and the way Deo held me down, preventing me from further putting shame to my reputation, was enough to calm me down. On my recollection, it was a frenzy experience, but what made me shudder was the color of Deo's mask. A deep black.

"Are you on your right state of mind?" Deo asked me slowly. "Seraphin?"

I was still lying on the softness of their white robes that I have already dirtied with my body that was rolled all over the groun. There were marks and flecks on Deo's immaculate clothing that I have never seen sullied before. Deo's cool hand reached to one of my cheeks, wiping it with the utmost care.

"I feel..." I started to say but stopped.

I still feel odd, that was what I wanted to say to Deo. I felt unsatisfied, to be precise and exact, a certain fulfillment that was never met lingered on my mouth. It created an arrid taste of displeasure. Besides that, my muscles became sore of being restrained.

So I held on to Deo's hand that was still covering my cheek. I felt it almost recoiled from my sudden aggression, but it stayed where it was.

"Am I fine now?" I instead asked Deo.

Unlike what I have seen earlier, their mask has become whiter and one of the tips of the crescent shaped lips was pointing upwards while the other tip was poiting at the opposite direction. That very mask slowly nodded at me as an aswer.

I did not move, not even the slightest.

It was not that Deo was waiting for me to do so. Not even the occassional awkwardness that I have felt manifested on them on those rare occassions that it appeared, even how briefly, was not on their countenance. Not even a speck of shame or displeasure.

Even I was too tired to care of how inappropriate our position might have been to other people's eyes. There were only two pairs of eyes inside of this garden. There was only a pair of eyes looking at me, and that fact was also true to them.

"Yes," Deo answered to me, and gently laid my head on their right arm while my legs were sprawled over their lap and the remaining of their white robes that was far from its usual immaculate condition.

I just let my head rest for a while.

The sun was already hanging on the sky, giving the glass ceiling of the garden another sheen of magical ambiance with the glow of the fluttering butterflies and gheir lingering glitters. The light, both from the golden butterflies and the sun that was passing through the glass ceiling, was touching the blooming flowers obscenely.

"I would not be able to make it to my classes," I stated out of nowhere. In my periphery, I noticed Deo nodded slightly, agreeing with what I said.

"I do not think it'd be proper for you to do so," Deo imparted to me, "if the siren's song has not truly left your mind, even the slightest bit of the memory of it would greatly affect you."

"I am sorry," I said in a dejected tone, "I got too lax. I had thought that because my progress was getting along better than we both have expected, I would know what to do."

"Do not think of it any longer," Deo responded, "do not bother yourself. It was not your fault, it was mine for not being by your side when you needed me to be."

I felt their hand that I was still holding on to with one of mine twitched again. It seemed to want to draw back, it gave no indication of moving though after quite some time.

I pretended not to have sensed it and closed my eyes tiredly.

"How come you were not affected by that?" I suddenly asked and tried to get up from Deo's arms.

However, Deo only nudged me back to where I was lying, leaning on their chest in the most possible intimate position. Though thick faced I was, usually unperturbed by awkwardness, I have felt that the tips of my ears were burning hot. It did not take me any more time to realized how red my ears must have been.

Like me though, Deo did not take any notice of that fact that was probably sitting right in front of their face.

I pursed my lips. My eyes drifted to where we were. Deo was sitting atop the numerous twined roots of the usual tree we always sat at during our lessons.

"It was not powerful enough to affect me," Deo answered plainly, "but you shouldn't have wandered at that time without anyone. Even that person who sleeps next to your lodgings is acceptable enough. It was too dangerous considering..."

It was unlike Deo to let their sentences hanging like that, so I prodded the unusual.

"Considering?" I asked expectantly.

"Nothing," Deo answered abruptly which made a frown placed itself on my face. Instead of avoiding me, Deo only wrapped the scarf around my neck that I had earlier with me.

It was not as cold as earlier anymore, but the thought of that made my ears burned brighter.

"If only the light butterflies could be used as a means of communication," Deo said absentmindedly, "then it would have been easier to reach you at times like that."

"There are always smartphones," I responded to them, "I could buy you one. Maybe just the cheap ones though," I added hastily, I thought of my money and how Amara has stopped providing for me. It was rather good thing that Academia Amitiel was providing me with food and a place to stay at. I did not have any problems with anything since Mr. Tharraleos has paid in full amount the academy. "Or I could ask my roommate if she had any spare ones. Then we would be able to call each other or even just message."

Deo's mask whipped towards my face. Though they were wearing a mask, the prolonged silence was enough to tell that Deo probably have no idea what I was talking about.

"You have lost me at the word smart," Deo said slowly, "if there is an efficient way to always get in contact with you, then I will let you inform me about it all. But there is something else that I must do," he stated which had me interested.

I peered at Deo with curiosity. With the hand that they were not using to support me, Deo easily caught a butterfly on their hand. It perched prettily on that smooth skin, it was too pale that Deo's skin looked like a marble. Deo closed the hand where the butterfly was perched on towards the crescent shape mouth of their mask.

Right on that marble-like skin, the butterfly that Deo was holding lost its shine turning to charcoal deep black color. The design of the butterfly's wings was defined into thin strips, delicate and looking exactly how a wire would. It fluttered its skeleton-like wings and I doubt if it could still fly.

I directed my eyes at Deo's mask, with horror and disbelief, but Deo just calmly enchanted the butterfly— an already black thing, still elegant with its curves and the flick of its wings, but could not possibly attempt flight any longer like it used to. The faint glow that it used to exhibit before has faded.

It stood at the palm of Deo, and with the butterfly like that, Deo put it on my hair. They tucked it gently and the butterfly surprisingly stuck on the strands of my hair.

"A gift," Deo murmured lowly as they admired their handiwork, "I thought that the original appearance would be too conspicuous to other people's sight. I modified it slightly, I hope..." Deo paused, I realized that the reaction I had might not be the one they were expecting. "I hope you do not mind that I tinkered with it."

The horror and disbelief instantly disappeared. I blinked at Deo a few more times, discerning the tone they used. It was low, their voice was still clear but there was a distinct tinge on their tone.

"It is really elegant," I assured Deo who was still averting my gaze, their mask turned away from me. "I was taken aback for what you did, but what was it for?"

Whem Deo spoke, it was still on the same sulky tone. I smiled at the mask that was averting my gaze. These kinds of little reaction from Deo would always be precious.

"The butterflies are ordered to be inconspicuous, not to be seen by any normal mortals," Deo said to me, "what happened earlier was that they hesitated to protect you with foreign presence around without any hiding place. The butterflies are not as intelligent as you might think, Seraphim. They could only do what they are told. If—" Deo tucked a few strands of my hair behind my ear, it was a precious little gesture, and Deo did that almost as though they were not really thinking if it "—they looked like any other objects, I thought it won't be hard for them to fulfill their order."

I only nodded at Deo, fingering the transformed butterfly on my hair which fluttered its wings indignantly to me. I softly chuckled at its reaction.

"The boy," Deo mentioned, "the boy seems to know you."

"I have met him once in the infirmary," I told Deo, "he said that my room was his. How true that was, I was not quite certain, but that was the only time I have met him."

Deo's mask gently nodded.

"Hmn," Deo responded at my honest answer, "there is a protective barrier on the room. That is why I picked it for you to stay."

"Did you also visited me back then?" I asked Deo without any real care, but they just kept on being silent.

I remember that Deo might have or might have not pretended to be Sir Apollyon. I stared ay Deo's mask that was frowning at one side and smiling on the other. I sensed their hesitation so I did what I have been dying to do.

I tried to take off their mask that obscured their whole appearance.

With a great shock, Deo let me slowly lift the overbearing mask off their face until there was the full lips. It was quite pale, but full and has the shape of a slender bow. In the shade of the faintest pink, it complimented a high nose that have the same pallor of their skin, an almost sickly marble white.

I was about to truly peel it off their face altogether, but Deo suddenly spoke. When they spoke, there was that defined Adam's apple on their throat and that was where my eyes fixated. It bobbed up and down, there was also a vibration on their chest that I have felt since I was still leaning on it.

"What if I am a hideous being?" Deo gently asked me.

They placed their hand on top of my hand that was holding their smiling and frowning white mask. Their lips moved with the flow of their words, it was only a slight movement but their words were clear and resonant.

"Who would think that?" I whispered to them. "Your hand is so cold."

What Deo did next was to lead me out of the garden. When I turned back, my hand already handling the door knob of the dilapidated door that I was still wondering why it has not gone down yet, Deo already turned to Haziel Imbert.

Without a permission, I held her hand.

Haziel Imbert's dark green eyes widened with my intrusion on her hand. It was cold like how it was earlier. And since I was now taller than Deo, I towered over Haziel Imbert's actual height, a full head smaller than me.

Before I was even aware of my movement, one of the sides of my lips turned upwards to a slight smile directed towards Deo who was using someone's appearance to face me.

No matter, I thought, it would never matter to me.

Deo gradually pulled Haziel Imbert's small hand from my grasp, when I looked back at them, they were already gone. My hand flew towards the butterfly adorning my hair, elegant still on its new form and as cold as Deo.

I continued at that exact position before I realized it was absurd to do so anymore. My pining towards Deo would probably not going to bring them in front of me.

When I went to my dormitory room, as I have expected, Bianca was not there. Maybe she was off to a class or something. Some of my muscles were still sore of being held down by the butterflies.

It seemed that when I was fervently seeking a person's company earlier, even the slightest of the touch set me off. Deo was not able to properly hold me down without their body being pulled into a tight embrace. I did not even press Deo for any more answers.

How could I? How could I press them any further when I was certain of the answers that they would give me?

I unclipped the butterfly from my hair gently which gave in to my request and laid it in the table just beside my bed.

I wonder how I would get Deo a cellphone. I do not have any time to take up any part time jobs. It was not even like I could give mine which was cheap and also of ancient edition that it was basically useless. If I ask Bianca, would she ask what it was for?

That was the thought that was drifting inside my mind even after two days from that bizarre incident. I was walking down the hallway, on my way to the next morning classes since I woke up later than usual and now that Bianca went back home temporarily, there was no one to wake me up. I was certain I would not be able to even attend half the lecture that was currently being held.

"Seraphim!" an annoying voice called to me behind me.

My eyes slightly widened with surprised, but I maintained a coold expression whereas my feet started to walk faster than what my usual stride required them to do.

"Wait up!" the voice behind me called that only made me walk faster. "Can't she hear me?" the voice wondered out loud and tried yet again without fail. This time though, it was quite louder and I could not possibly just ignore him. "Seraphim! Hey, it's Caspian!"

And that was exactly why I was being so evasive. Because of that name.

My sigh was deep and full of sorrow while I turned my body to his direction. I would be lying if I did not ask or pray that it was actually not him, but a disguised Deo using Caspian Cashel's voice. I had hoped that it must be Deo pretending to be one of the students just like what they always do.

Alas, it was not to be.

What greeted me was a jovial Caspian Cashel whom I have not seen for the whole week. He was waving at me frantically from the vey end of the hallway, wearing a stupid grin on his handsome face.

I was not impressed.

It was a good thing that the classrooms were soundproofed else people would be pouring out from their respective classrooms for the commotion that this boy was causing. I stood in the middle of the hallway, just watching him but then he suddenly started running towards me.

It was one of the few times that I let an irritated expression crossed my face. After a few long strides, I finally understood what made him run in fear. On his lips, he was mouthing frantically and his hands were flinging every direction. At first, I could not understand what it was he was trying to say.

I squinted my eyes to his lips mouthing some words to me in a desperate manner until he collided to me. We fell down the tiled floor with a muted thud, it was that moment that Caspian Cashel was able to tell me what monster was behind him.

"It's Henrietta Amitiel!" he hissed at me. "It's the headmistress!" he added in a frantic whisper to me, his voice cracking.

We both scrambled to get up, Caspian even pulled at my skirt just to make it easier for him to stand up himself. I kicked him on the stomach for that, he rolled on the floor as he was clutching the part of his body that I kicked so heartlessly.

When Caspian Cashel stood up though, he dragged my arm towards a gallery on the last room of the floor; going here and there, and circling and twisting around the expansive hallways of the floor we were both in.

But it was not the kind of gallery we were both expecting to be in.