Amore Mio

XX. Bad Neighbor

Alice’s POV:

When I hear a door slam open, I tilt my head to the side. Nina was standing there with a box of pizza. She dropped the box and lifted a finger.

Quickly, I pushed Neilson away and promptly sat up. I can feel the bed creaking, indicating that Neilson was sitting up too. “Hi, Nina,” he said casually.

“Hi,” she responds, shooting me the - what the f**k - look.

I replied with a shrug.

Neilson clears his throat, but my eyes were still awkwardly locked on with Nina. “I’m going to go,” he said.

He grabs my chin, placing a kiss on my cheek, “I’ll see you later, Angel,” he whispers.

I sat there and watched him as he walked out. He messed up Nina’s hair.

“Aren’t you going to kiss me too?” Nina said mockingly.

Neilson chuckles, “I don’t kiss girls with boyfriends. That’s a death wish,” he walks away.

Swiftly, Nina kicks the box of pizza towards me and slams the door shut. “Code f*****g whatever the color below red is on the rainbow! What in the world was that?!”

Nina and I made color codes for emergencies, with violent being the lightest and red, the most massive s**t that can happen.

I grab the box. “What was what?” I replied with a nervous laugh and opened the box.

“You and Neilson! On the same bed!?” She pointed at my bed, then hugged herself trying to re-create our position earlier.

“We slept on the same bed since I was eight.” I grab a slice of pizza.

She sat down beside me, narrowing her devious eyes. “And that kiss on the cheek?”

I take a bite. “He kisses me all the time if you have forgotten.”

Nina nods, “Yeah, that’s true,” she replies, grabbing herself a slice.

Yes, it’s that sad. Neilson and I could be caught on the same bed, and no one will think it’s a big deal because he only sees me as a little sister.

Little sister, that’s who I am.

Stupid heart, when are you going to accept that.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

She taps a finger on the box. “To celebrate you in becoming a cheerleader,” she grins.

I smile. “God, you are such a good friend.” I shove another slice into my mouth.

After we finished, we laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. “So, you know things with Neilson, and I are going nowhere. How are things between Kevin and you?”

She shrugs, taking a light sniff. “Fine, a normal couple, I guess.”

I chuckle lightly. “You sound like a girl in mad love,” I said sarcastically, nudging her shoulder.

Nina turns her head towards me. “I’m fine with where we are. No fights and no secrets. Kevin is a good guy, and I like him.”

“But, not in love with him.”

“One day, maybe, but not now. After all, I’m still just a high schooler,” she states, and I nod in agreement. We are just in high school, after all.

Soon, Nina bid me goodbye with one of her horrific dancing, while tripping down on the floor a few times. Grabbing some clothes, I took a shower and changed out of the uniform.

I sat down on the spinning chair and scrolled through Princeton along with a few other school websites. I read the emails I’ve been getting from recruiters. Holding the mouse, I adjust my glasses and push the reply button. My fingers went to the keyboard, but I didn’t know what to write.

A call pops up on my computer screen, and a smile emerges. Swiftly, I accept it. “Hey, Alice in Wonderland,” Randy’s face pops up, hair being thrown in all sorts of locations. My eyes scan his room, seeing it the same as usual, dark as f**k just the way he likes it.

“What’s up, Randy?” I reply, leaning down my chair, hearing it squeaking lightly.

“Just chilling, kind of bored. What are you up to?”

“Replying to some emails,” I said. I move my mouse back and forth.

“Is it one of those wealthy privileged colleges recruiting you again?” He said teasingly.

Randy is the only one who knows about these ivy league colleges. I haven’t told anyone about it, not even Nina. Sometimes, I feel bad keeping things from her, but with Randy. It is so much easier to tell him.

Nina and I grow up together, but our lives are quite different, making it harder and harder to link together with her nowadays. It’s not her fault, of course not. I’m the one who had been pushing her away. I’m grateful she is so understanding and hasn’t been a b***h about it even though she knows I’m keeping secrets from her.

Damn, what did I do to get such a wonderful friend like her?

“Yeah,” I reply, typing on different social media pages and maybe stalking Neilson.

Neilson and I are friends, so it’s not stalking, merely seeing what he had been up to lately. I scroll down his pages seeing photos of us, and smile. Neilson isn’t much of a social media kind of person, so there is rarely any post.

I stopped when I saw a photo of us when I turned fifteen, and he took me to Disneyland. Unfortunately, his girlfriend at the time was also there. Neilson is what many call a player. I think I saw him changing girls more than when he changed socks. I know it’s stupid of me, falling not only with an older man but a player. Neilson never posts any photos of him and his ex-girlfriends. I guess I can’t help but feel special that he posted pictures of us together.

“Alice!” Randy shouts.

“What?”

“Stop staring at the photo of you and that, Neilson jerk!” He scorns me.

I spin around my chair. “I’m not,” I try my best to deny and deny, but I know he didn’t believe me as his continuous head shaking.

“You shut up! You like Carly, but won’t accept it!” I said but instantly regretted it.

He narrows his eyes at me. “We promise not to talk about that again!”

“Then, let’s not talk about Neilson, and I won’t talk about Carla!”

“Fine!” He screams.

“Fine!” I shriek.

“Good!” He shouts louder

“f*****g fantastic!” I nearly screamed from the top of my lungs.

He pouts and leans back while I do the same thing. We start doing our weird usual glaring showdown. I can tell he refuses to back down, and I am not backing down either.

Slowly, I can see him breaking.

“f**k! Fine!” He pinches his eyes together and groans, leaning his body forward—Randy leans one elbow against his desk. “I’m just saying, once again. Alice Lee, do not throw away your future for a damn boy,” he said in a fatherly-like tone, pointing a stern finger at the screen.

“He isn’t a boy,” I mumble.

He rolls his eyes, tilting his head in a small circular manner. “Of course, he is a man,” he said in a mocking tone, waving two hands in the air, making this stupid-looking dance.

Then, he stops and narrows his eyes. “But, remember-” he leans forward, “That’s what makes this whole situation inappropriate. You are still in high school. And Neilson?”

I knew what he was going to say next.

Randy is talking about our age difference. Even if there is the smallest possibility that we get together, society won’t accept us. In the end, he is a twenty-four years old man.

Eight years, eight f*****g years between us won’t seem like such a big deal two years. But, right now, it feels more prominent than ever.

“I understand,” I mumble, fighting the urge to cry.

“I hope so,” he releases a breath of air. “I care about you, Alice, a lot. You have a chance to start a new life, away from here, away from your father,” his eyes start tearing up. “A lot of people would want that chance.”

“Would you take that chance?” I ask.

“In a heartbeat.”

“Even if it means leaving your mother behind?”

He sat there silently, staring at me, but I know he wasn’t looking at me. There was a tiny hint of emotions in his face, a surge of guilt. Randy loves his mother a lot, which is why he hasn’t run away from home. He can’t leave his mother.

“It’s not the same, Alice.”

I tighten my grip on my chair. “You’re right. It’s not.”

“I got to go,” he said and logged off before I can reply.

You f****d up, Alice.

You really f****d up.

I always knew that Randy’s mom was a soft spot for him, and I was stupid enough to bring out the topic.

Leaning back against my chair, I stare up at the ceiling. “Oh f**k,” I whisper and grab my jacket before rushing out. Passing the living room, I can see dad sleeping on the couch with an alcohol bottle in his hand, mumbling something again.

I shake my head, grab my shoes, along with my keys, and walk out. Throwing on my jacket and hood, I continue walking. I stare at the ground and refuse to stop until I get to my destination.

My ears can hear booming music and loud voices, but I ignored everything, only seeing the cement on the ground.

“Hey, there, little mama! Looking for some good loving tonight?” A man shouts for me, but I ignore him and continue walking.

This is the kind of neighborhood Randy lived in, the bad part of town. I glanced down at my watch.I had been walking for over two hours, and I knew I was almost at his house.

When I reached Randy’s house, silently I crept towards his window. “You filthy w***e!” I hear his dad yell.

I stop walking and peek through the window seeing Randy’s dad grabbing a handful of his mom’s hair and pull it. He slaps her face. His mom was on the floor, covered with bruises and cuts, begging him to stop.

Quickly, Randy made his appearance, teeth grinding against one another as he clenches his fist tightly. “Don’t touch her!” He screams and pushes his dad off.

He rushed towards his mother and held her trembling body with his own as she continued crying. His dad grabbed a glass cup and threw it against him, but I knew it intended for his mom. “It’s your f*****g fault that the cops came today! You f*****g w***e! Why the f**k do you scream so loud!”

There were glasses all over the floor and some on Randy’s back. I watch as the blood oozes down while he shoots his dad a nasty glare. Randy’s dad threw the alcohol bottle against the wall causing his mom to shriek a little, placing her hands over her head, crying into Randy’s chest.

“I’m f*****g out of here,” he growls, grabbing a fresh bottle of alcohol from the fridge and his jacket, then slammed the front door shut.

Randy ignored the pain on his back and helped his mom, who was crying, get up and walk to the other side of the house.

A few times, cops drop by the house, and Randy’s dad gets arrested, but in the end, he always gets released. Even when Randy went to them, they couldn’t get enough to get Randy’s dad put into jail for good.

Randy doesn’t believe in the system anymore.

He said they abandoned him.

They couldn’t get enough evidence because Randy’s mom refused to accept that she is physically abused. She is too afraid of his dad to turn him in.

The fear, it ties people down, mentally and physically. It works on the mind as torture, elevating primal emotions, decreasing logic. Fear is a kind of madness, but it is useful if you know how it works.

Randy’s dad knows how it works.

There is a part of me that believes that Randy is comfortable around me because I don’t tell him what to do with his life. No, the real reason he is around me is perhaps I reflect the woman he holds dear.

I can see myself in her.

I release a sigh, grab some pebbles, and start climbing the tree towards his window. Leaning my head against the tree, I shut my eyes, hearing the noises of the neighborhood. Silently, I sat there, waiting for him to finish treating his mom.

When I saw his lights flickering on, I grabbed the pebbles in my palms and threw it until I caught his attention. His brows furrowed together as he lurked closer, opening the window. “Alice? What the actual f**k are you doing here? Do you know how damn dangerous it is around this type of neighborhood?”

Of course, I know, his neighborhood is infamous for having drug dealing, prostitutes, and criminals.

“I’m here to apologize,” I whisper, dragging myself closer to the edge of the branch.

“And you couldn’t shoot a damn text?”

I shrug, then grin. “I thought it would be more romantic for me to apologize in person.” He chuckles and shakes his head, leaning half of his body out the door. “Your back okay?” I ask.

The corner of his lips twitched slightly as I sat there, staring at him, “You saw?” He said in barely an audible tone, and I nod. “I’m fine, used to it, you know,” he replies, giving me a tight smile.

“I’m sorry,” I said, hearing the music booming louder than ever.

“It’s okay, Alice.”

“No, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have talked about your mother. That was wrong of me,” I said, swallowing the guilt.

“Since you walked across town, in the dead middle of the night, how can I not accept your apology. Get down, I’ll take you home,” he said, and I nod, watching him close the window.

He grabs his jacket, turns back towards me, and tilts his head downward.

I was about to climb down until I saw several black cars pulling towards the house across from Randy. The street lights were flickering above them, and there was this ominous atmosphere as I watched each person step out.

They were all wearing neatly sewn suits and dark shades covering their faces, scattering around the front of the house. Suddenly, the music shut down, and I couldn’t hear anyone talking. My eyes scan the neighborhood seeing people slamming their doors shut. Soon, the chirping of grasshoppers takes over.

I sat there, dangling my legs as I stared at them. My eyes widened, nearly losing my balance on the branch when I saw someone who looked oddly similar to someone I know.

He had a cigarette between his lips, which he dropped on the ground and burnt out with his shoes. He pushed his hair back as a man went up to him and whispered something into his head. I watch as he nods and heads inside the house.

“Alice!” Someone calls for me quietly, and I look down to see Randy. “Why are you still up there!? Come down!”

I took one last glance and climbed down the tree with his help halfway. “Who are those people across your street?” I whisper, pointing my finger.

He rolls his eyes. “It’s the f*****g mafia. They own this street.” My body froze at his statement as I lurked closer to them, but he pulled me back. “Are you crazy?! Getting close to the mafia?!” He whispers.

“N-No, it’s just, I saw someone I thought I knew.”

“I doubt it.” He pulls me towards his door.

“I thought you’re taking me home.”

“Well, change of plans, I didn’t kn-” Before he could finish, gunshots went off, and he quickly opened his front door. He drags me inside and slams it shut. “Fuck.”

“What’s happening?” I ask, scrolling towards the window to take a peek.

Randy takes off his jacket. “The mafia is collecting their payments.”

My eyes narrow, trying to see them, but I only knew a bunch of men in suits and heard some more gunshots. “Huh?”

“The guys living across the streets have been stealing drugs from the mafia for months and selling them, so they are pissed,” he explains.

I turn towards him. “How would you know?”

“Living in this street, you would know that words spread, and people can’t keep their mouth shut,” he said, closing the curtains.

“I can’t take you home, and I refuse to let you walk this late at night. You can wear my clothes and sleep in my bed.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“And your mom?”

“She doesn’t wake up till afternoon for her shift. I’ll take you home by then,” he explains. Randy heads upstairs. “Let’s go.”

My head turns one last time to peek outdoors to see another car pulled up. The men start lining up, tilting their heads down as the driver steps out. The driver opens the door, and my eyes widen, seeing someone else that’s too familiar stepped out of the car. He was wearing a clean black suit, fingers brushing his hair back. A man walks up to him and whispers some words into his ears while I narrow my eyes, tilting my head forward for a closer look.

No way.

“Alice, are you coming?” Randy said, taking away my attention from them.

“I’m coming,” I replied, turning my head back towards the window, but he was gone.

Swiftly, I release the curtain and walk upstairs behind Randy. My fingers were playing with my sleeves as I stared down at the carpets. There must be something wrong with my eyes because there is no way that person is Neilson. I shake my head, releasing that thought and continue walking towards his room.

My eyes scan the surrounding, seeing his room the same as ever. This isn’t my first time over at Randy’s house, much to his dislike. Honestly, I stalked Randy before. That’s how I knew where he was living. I was curious about his private life when I shouldn’t and followed him home. Then, he was curious about my life and stalked me back. In a way, as revenge for what I did. In short, we are two weirdos who don’t know what we are doing half of the time.

He threw a pair of shorts and a shirt down on the bed. “Bathroom is down the hallway, same as always, do not make any noise,” he said in a stern voice. He grabbed a pillow and stepped out.

I stand there, listening to his footsteps echoing in the hallway, and I walk towards the window. I turn off the light, open the window, and climb towards the tree branches. Slowly, I sat there, staring at the house across the street with a bunch of cars. The wind picked up, and I threw on my hood.

After some time, I can see the front door opening and the men outside quickly gathering in a neatly formed line. Placing their arms on their side, they bowed down at a perfect angle. My heart started pounding, terrifyingly loud as my nails dug deeply into the woods. Sweat drenches my skin, eyes throbbing inside my sockets, a ringing scream developed even in the total silence. My body trembled, but it wasn’t because of the cold.

He steps out, color red stains on his shirt, deep brown eyes glaring at everyone.

It was cold, terrifyingly cold-

his eyes.

He dropped the cigarette between his lips on the ground and pressed his heels on it.

My eyes refuse to remove as he blows the smokes into the breezy air, fogging his image.

My image of him has fogged.

“Neilson.”