A Kiss Good-Bye Series

Chapter 16

Jax

This was what I wanted, maybe since I first laid my eyes on her. Naked on the bed waiting for me. Entering her was like heaven. Her moans were like music to my ears. Emilia was everything I wanted. A woman who understands me. A woman who can read me. And a woman who can take control of the bedroom. Emilia knows what she wants and she takes it. I want her. I want to be with her. Emilia will be mine. I will never let her go.

I thought about it on the way here. I’m going to leave the club. I’m going to end things with Sara, which I’m pretty certain Carlo will take over. Then I’m going back to being a hitman and spend the rest of my days with Emilia.

“Jax,” she moaned. Her nails dug into my back and it felt good. With one move she flipped us, and now she was riding me. Yeah, this was the girl I want, I desire. She collapsed on top of me, falling asleep in my arms. I, too, drifted off to sleep feeling amazingly happy.

I woke up to movement next to me. Emilia had her hand on my chest, gently stroking me. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her forehead. “Have you thought this through?” she asked. She’s worried and I get it. I told her about my plan and she remained eerily quiet.

“Emilia, what do you think?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. She sat up and breathed. “Sara isn’t used to being alone. She always had someone with her. She can’t handle it.”

“Carlo will most likely help her,” I said. “He’s soft around her.”

“I thought the same way when I met him. I just feel guilty for stealing you away from her.”

“Baby, in all honesty, I don’t think Sara really loves me. I did until a certain point, but she never understood me. We were growing apart, and we hardly spoke to each other. She couldn’t understand why I never got a tattoo or why I missed being a hitman. She’s not you.”

Adoration filled her eyes and my heart swelled. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

“You were in love before?” I asked. Adoration left her and she looked away. She was before, and I could tell that it hurt her. “I would never hurt you, Emilia. I’m in this for the long haul.”

A smile returned to her lips and I felt better again. “So, have you ever had dreams, besides being a killer?”

She gave a little laugh and said, “Yeah, I did once. Graduate from high school, then go to college to study history. I had plans, but then my parents died, and I had no choice but to destroy them and make sure Sara had a future.”

“Why didn’t you try and go back?”

“I didn’t want to, and it was too late. Jobs were coming in, and the money got better, plus Sara got into the best schools for both middle and high school and tuition wasn’t cheap. I also had to think about college and how much that would cost me. But I worked my ass off to get noticed so that I can get my sister the best education, even if it meant that I had to sacrifice my own happiness.”

This woman was amazing. She gave up her own life and dreams to spoil Sara. To make sure that her sister was given the best life. I admire her for that.

“Your parents will be proud of you.”

“What about your parents?” she asked. “Are they still living or…?”

“Still living in Maryland. My dad is a retired hitman and my mom is a cook. Both loving parents and taught me to respect women. You would love them and they would love you. My dad would appreciate a female assassin and if you cook my mom would love you. What about your parents?”

“My mom was the sweetest woman you’ll ever meet. She would always bake us sweets every weekend and didn’t have a bad bone in her body,” she said, smiling so brightly. “My dad was amazing. He would take me to the park as a kid and we would play Frisbee. He knew how to make us laugh, but he was also dark in his own way. It was what I admired most about him. I guess it’s why I took after him in this profession. It was the only way to be closer to him. I miss them. They were the greatest parents ever.”

I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my parents. I probably would go ballistic. “Let’s go out,” I blurted out.

“What?” she asked.

“Let’s go out to dinner. Get dressed.”

I hopped out of bed excited. She followed and watched her get dressed, loving the view. She stopped when she fully dressed and eyed me. “Aren’t you getting dressed?”

“Yep, but I wanted to watch you first.” I finally dressed, and we walked out hand in hand to the garage.

We were almost to the car when my phone ringed, then Emilia’s phone buzzed. I looked at the caller I.D. and Sara’s name glared on the screen.

“Sara?”

Jax, is Jones gone?

“Yeah, I took care of it.”

Oh, good. I have some good news.

“What is it?”

I turned to look at Emilia and her face had gone pale. Something’s wrong and what Sara said next destroys my future that I had planned with Emilia. It was like my world came crashing down.

I’m pregnant! You’re going to be a father. Get home as soon as possible so we can celebrate. I’ll see you soon. I love you, Jax.

She hung up before I could respond. Emilia’s eyes went dark, and I know that she knows. “Congratulations,” she says quietly. “I’m happy for you.”

“This changes nothing,” I say.

“It changes everything! You’re having a baby with Sara, my sister. You have to go to her.”

“Not without you,” I say walking to her. I grabbed her arms and pulled her to me.

“And do what?” she asked, pulling away. “Wait on the sidelines and wait for you to come to me when you can sneak away. No, I’m not doing that. I won’t be a second choice again. I’m not a whore.”

Second choice?

“I know you’re not. What you are is mine. I love you, Emilia. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I will leave Sara to be with you and I will help her raise the baby. As long as I am with you, I’m happy.”

“You love me?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She smiled, but then it was wiped away. “No,” she says, shaking her head. “You need to be with Sara. She can’t do this on her own, especially now with a baby. She’s going to need you.”

“Wait, what? What are you saying?” I feel my heart-breaking and see my world tumbling.

“I’m her big sister and I will never stop looking after her. You need to be with Sara. You’re both having a baby. You both need to be together, and I need to stay away. I need to let you go, and you need to let me go.”

“I can’t,” I growled, shaking her. “You deserve to be happy. It’s your turn to have your way. You sacrificed a lot to give Sara a life. I know you’re happy with me as I am with you. We deserve to be together. Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you,” she says, tears springing from her eyes. “It’s why I have to let you go.” She released from my hold and stepped back. “Take my car, you can keep it. I can afford another one. Take care of Sara and the baby. You deserve a family, Jax, and now you’re getting one. Congratulations, Jax. I hope you have a happy life.”

She kissed me with such ferocity and passion that I didn’t want it to end. She releases me, turns, and walks away quickly without looking back. She disappeared in the elevator and I waited hoping she would change her mind, but she never came back because the kiss she gave me was a kiss good-bye.

It was past dawn when I reached the clubhouse. I entered and Sara jumped into my arms. She felt so foreign and wrong for me to touch her. Sara was not the one I want. I miss Emilia. I miss her touch. I miss how her legs wrap around my waist. God, I need to get a hold of myself.

“Did you fly?” Sara asked, her green eyes sparkling at me.

“No, Emilia, let me take her car.”

“Emilia? I’m not used to hearing her whole name. It’s always been Em. Come, let’s go to bed, then in the morning we need to schedule doctor’s appointments.”

She was excited and as she skipped upstairs to our room I could see Carlo in the background with jealousy in his eyes. He watched her go upstairs, then his eyes settled on me. Flare shone in his eyes and I don’t like what I see. I followed Sara upstairs with a hole in my heart.