SEEKER

MORNING OF...

KELLAN POV

“You need to keep it down sis, you and Kellan were at it all morning,” I heard Tali whisper to her sister just as I made it to the stairs.

“You would have to detach me from him first,” she whispered fiercely. "Besides, you can always leave,"

"Ungh," I heard Tali complain. Their relationship was antagonistic as much as it was cute. One moment it was all sisterly love and the next, they are talking about burning each other in a fire.

I smirked and decided to stomp loudly towards the kitchen to announce my arrival.

“My boy dropped stacks,” Tali said, admiring the ring on her sister’s finger. Can’t blame her, I did the same thing when she put it on earlier and ravaged her again. This was our first day engaged. It was surprising that I had enough sense to stop. Only work could do that. If I had it my way...

“What?” Zoey asked like she hadn’t even considered it. Her tone grounded me in reality. I did not get the context, but I could guess what it was about. Reason number 500 million why I love her. But also why I probably spoil her. Not many people do and I wanted to do that for her. Hell, it is all I ever do and I just signed up for it for life. No one could remove the ridiculous grin on my face. “Morning ladies,” I greeted them and grabbed a seat. “Who dropped the stacks?” I asked, placing my blazer on the chair.

I asked for clarity for the sake of it but I was pretty sure she was complaining about the price of her ring. Zoey walked over to me, planting a very wet kiss on my lips that had me hungry for much more than the pancakes in front of me. With the peanut butter cream. I brought her lips back to me, loving the surprised little huff she gave me. “Thank you,”

When I had my fill, I asked my question again. “Who dropped the stacks?” I eyed her, keeping her trapped in my arms.

“Nobody,” Zoey said at the same time as Talia said, “You,”

I chuckled. “Ohkay,” I decided to focus on my food and drop my hold on her. I took a bite and groaned. “So good,” She gave me a look that took me too long to understand. I furrowed my brows but the naughty glint in her eye made it click. She was absolutely wanton. I wolfed down the rest. “You are lamenting over the ring, aren’t you?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Lamenting?” Her feigned confusion literally about to set me off, laughing. I tried my hardest not to.

I knew better. “The only word that came to mind. Mourning or complaining or having a hissy fit. Whichever one you would like,” I explained.

“Definitely hisssy fit,” Talia laughed. “I am most definitely the maid of honour. Oh my God, you have to tell mom, and your friends and his friends and his parents…”

“We told our friends.” Zoey spoke up, almost petulantly. “We have lunch with mom today so we will tell her then and we have dinner with his mom tomorrow night to tell her.” She suddenly looked up at me. “Have you spoken to your brother?”

I swallowed. “Yup. He confirmed but I would not bet on it,” I said. “Don’t take offence, he never shows up for anything. Even his own things,” This was not a criticism, actually a trauma. My mom pulled a really messy stunt a few years ago and Brandon has avoided any celebrations with her involved ever since. I did not exactly blame him though. I should check on him, let him know I had finally proposed. God knows I have been wanting to do this for months now. It feels ridiculous that I was ever scared. I lost track of the conversation but I quickly came back when I thought I heard Tali mentioned their father.

“Dad too,” Talia added that last bit quietly. I heard correctly then. Chewing on my lip, I turned my focus to Zoey who has a terrible history of handling this topic. She looked up at me first before turning her eyes to her sister, leaning on the table, resting on her forearms. “Your father is not coming.” She said firmly. My d**k twitched. Why was that turning me on?

“But-” Talia tried to speak.

“And that’s final,” She cut her off. Firmer. She changed the topic and looked at me. “You dropped stacks on this, love?” I did not have time to perv at that moment and all the horny thoughts left the building.

“What is your definition of a stack?” I answered, finishing up breakfast.

Talia laughed. “Oh do shut it, Zee. You’re engaged. What does it matter how much it costs? You gonna take it back?”

“ Of course not,” She said, hurt at the possibility. “That was not where I was going with this at all.”

“Then where were you going?” Talia asked.

I waited for the answer as well, folding my arms. She had no answer.

My smile turned incredulous. “Remind me to retain your services for when we fight about presents,” I elbowed Talia lightly.

She ate in mortified silence as Tali and I exchanged tales of how horrible she was with gifts. Soon, talk became geared towards her plans for the restaurant. I noticed Zoey had gone radio silent.

Money was not a problem for me. My father's great-great grandfather was an actuary who started our family business. By the time it was my dad's turn to run it, it traded publicly on Wall Street and has been doing really great ever since. Hence the very large investment and savings I had. When he died, he left everything he had to his mother, me, my brother and my mom. Not that my extended family even thought me worthy of inheriting. I would not delve into that.

What I will delve into is how allergic Zoey was to being gifted. We disagreed on this often. She was as stubborn as I was so... it was a reoccurring theme. Tiny gifts were always cool. It’s the extravagant gifts that I cannot get away with. The ring and her birthday gifts this year were the only gifts that did not come with resistance… until now, anyway. Knowing her issues with her father, the unused E500 Mercedes coupe he got her earlier in the year that remains unused to this day and how rich her father was, I knew it had something to do with him trying to buy her forgiveness.

Talia’s phone rang. Her face fell and she left us in the kitchen for some privacy. Wonder what was wrong with her? But I was more concerned about my fiance. I made my way to her as soon as Tali was out of the kitchen, depositing my plate in the sink.

“You have that face,” I said, cornering her by the corner of the kitchen counter. She was in one of my shirts and leggings. She was still gonna change for work. I would still rail her like this…

“What face?” She grumbled, playing with my tie.

“The one you have whenever I spend any amount of money on you,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She buried her face in my neck. “It just feels …,” she paused for a while. “Unnecessarily excessive,”

“Suck it up then,” I purred against her lips. Her stubbornness about this stuff usually melts when I do this and I watched her melt. She leans up to kiss me, unable to help herself. I pulled back slightly. “I am not gonna kiss you until you accept the ring and shut up about it future wife,” I said to her.

She pouted her lips at me. “Fine,” she leaned up again and I slightly pulled back again, smiling again.“Fine what?”

“You’re an asshole,” she snipped at me. Her eyes glowed with amusement. God, but she was beautiful. Now my eyes were lingering on her lips. Focus McCarty.

“True but irrelevant,” I lifted her chin and stared intently at her. “Fine what?” I asked.

I got one last look of rebellion and a huge eye roll before she spoke. “I accept this unnecessarily extravagant but ridiculously beautiful ring. I will shut up about it… only because it means I am affianced to you and it is stunning and I love it and it is from you and I love you and I really can’t wait to be your wife. I can make this one exception because it means I am yours forever,”

"Was that so bad?" lifting her onto the counter.

“I f*****g hate you,”

“Oh so that’s why you’re marrying me,” I joked, and kissed her. She ran her fingertips up my chest, my neck and finally my face. One hand rested on the back of my head. I had to return her fervor and my tongue explored her mouth. I lifted her legs and planted her feet on the counter so she could feel exactly what she was doing to me. She started moaning in my mouth, soft mewls that had me twitching again. I ground her pelvis on the semi I now carried for her. She ended up feeling my gun instead of my d**k this time. f**k, I forgot. I gently pulled back from her, watching as she shook the gun off like it was acidic.

I pursed my lips. Actively deciding not to tackle this right now. Even if the deal we made for the weekend was technically over, I would let her deal with whatever she needed in therapy and will bring it up when she isn’t dealing. It had been two weeks, so she could still deal.

“Don’t forget to go see your therapist,” I murmured.

"Ungh," she grumbled.

I checked the time. 07:20. “Future wife, we gotta go,” I murmured.

“Car pool?”

“Saving energy and it is good for the environment,” I said. “Get dressed. You have 5 minutes,” I pecked her. “I’ll get the dishes,”

“10 minutes,” she pecked me. How is she so f*****g cute? And all mine?

“5,” I spanked her a little. She yelped. “Move,” I said, rolling my sleeves to get the dishes. She kissed me and, well, I forgot that we were on the kitchen counter when I returned her fervour. Conscious of my gun, I hitched her leg onto my hip, avoiding the gun and ground the semi I had into her. She moaned, wrapping her arms around my neck and grinding back into me.

“I am still here,” Talia complained. “Let us pretend that I am here because I actually am.”

We broke apart instantaneously. I apologised as I untangled Zoey from me.

"You are overstaying your welcome," Zoey muttered.

"You're incapable of self-control," Tali fired back.

I usually stayed out of this but we needed to go. "We don't have time for whatever this was gonna turn into."

Annoyed as she was, Zoey stomped upstairs. When she came down again, she was dressed for work. I noted the easily removable jean leggings. She did that on purpose. I was gonna have a day ahead of me. Yes, I am arguing with my mind and battling with how much I want her. I am obsessed, aren’t I?

“Ready,” she said shakily. I knew this thing was killing her. I just had to support and love her through it. We could figure out the rest together. With that in my mind, my eyes met hers and I murmurred how beautiful she looked. She flushed at me, with that cute-ass, shy smile. I am unable to stop myself from kissing her. Again.

I held the door open for her like I always did and we walked out together. She was making little, frustrated huffs as we got the elevator when I realised she was struggling with her braids. "Come here," I murmured, pulling her into me, knowing she was anxious. She immediately sunk into my embrace, ducking her face in my neck. I tightened my grip. “Just a hug?” I asked.

She nodded and went on her toes to wrap her arms around my neck and hug her that way. I obliged. I did not keep track of how long I held her. We broke apart when we got to the basement. My phone rang. It was the office. When Caroline spoke, I had completely forgotten the order I had made. I got Zoey another Wand … to add to our collection. I saw her reading about it a few days ago. I had been intrigued about it for a while and mentioned it a few times. She already went insane with the toys we already had. Might as well try this one.

“What package is being sent? Letters from your adoring murder fan club?” She joked with me as I closed the door for her.

“You need a new case to obsess over.” I smiled. “You ready for today?” I could hear the eye roll. I nearly laughed as I drove.

“I find out my fate this morning,” she shrugged. “I guess I have no choice but to be,” her irritation and vexation at the matter was ill-concealed.

I sighed. “I just worry about you baby. Nightmares have been a regular thing for you as of late. You have barely slept these past 3 weeks. I have been tightlipped about it for a week now, hoping it would get better. It hasn’t.”

“Let’s not forget who deprived me of sleep… or rather what,” she chewed on her lip, biting back her smirk and looked at the center of my thighs. Her eyes crawled up my body. She was so forward. Do you see what I mean? Insatiable.

“No,” I quickly countered. “Only since your birthday baby. Before, though…”

She drifted off for a while. "I am not sure what to do with myself. I am not sure what the right thing for me is."

"Is therapy helping?"

"A little,"

She was not ready to talk yet. I stopped. We lapsed into comfortable silence as I parked at the NYPD. She made a move for the door and stopped herself, still having to actively remind herself of how much it irritates me when she doesn’t let me get the door for her. I waited for her as she levelled out, using her butt to shut the door and took deep, calming breaths.

“Last remarks?” I asked. It was our thing, acknowledging that the other did not want to talk but providing final thoughts before it was brought up by the aggrieved party when they were ready to talk. Our version of a white flag.

She nodded, concentrating hard on me like she needed the distraction.

“You need to talk to someone. I didn’t want us to have this conversation here and the last thing I want is to corner you about this. Take it easy on yourself, babe. You are not a horrible person for doing, probably, the worst part of our job. He was a threat. You eliminated it. It is not something you can ignore. I doubt that it is working as it is. Work through this with your therapist." I cupped her face. "About today, you will be cleared. I don't doubt that.” I said, softer.

She sighed, her posture relaxing. “What if they don't clear me?" she murmurred. "What if I'm fired?"

"They will because you did not do anything wrong." I affirmed her.

"I killed someone."

"Yeah, someone who was on a killing spree."

She sighed. "I wanna work. I need to." Swallowing the lump in her throat. "Whether I get a pass or not, I need to work. I need time too. I feel like I am drowning sometimes and I need to swim. What helps me swim is work, time and tons of TLC from my beloved fiancé and future baby-daddy,”

I couldn’t resist laughing. “Work and TLC huh?” I said and tightened the grip I had around her waist. I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I can do that,”

She went on her tippy toes and pecked me.

“Oh no,” I said. “You already had your fill this morning,”

“Me? Get enough of you? Never!” she giggled.

She turned on her heel and walked to the elevator. You bet your ass I was checking out her ass as she walked. We kept a safe distance from each other. We had to. At least, I had to because if she touched me one more time, I would bend her over the nearest surface and have her screaming this precinct down. The doors slid open, slipping me back to reality.

“Detective,” I said and waited for her to walk out. I saw the anxiety etched on her face, so I brought her hand to my lips to calm her one last time.

“Special agent,” she murmured. “Behave yourself,” she tried to joke.

“Good luck,” I whispered, kissing her left hand. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” she smiled and waltzed to the conference room.

***

I looked up the moment Zoey walked in. I stared at her, reading her energy. It was off, avoiding eye contact. I pursed my lips, settling it within myself that I would do this later. Work first... for now.

She walked up to us and greeted my team. Javier Velasquez, Johnathan Wilkes and Mark Bronson. They were all about the engagement, of course. She duly showed them the ring and the congratulations flowed. I would usually have chimed in but something was off. Concern pumping in my veins now. When her eyes locked with mine, for the one second it did, I clocked it then. She was off, in operational mode. Relief flowed through me when I spotted her gun on her waist. She was cleared.

There was no relief in her though. She was so ... out of it. I kept my eye on her as she spoke with the guys. She was convincing... to them. Had to hand it to her, she was putting in a lot of work to appear okay. She was smiling and laughing but I felt it in my gut, something was wrong. She kept the attention on the ring and that was when I saw her take a huge breath and plaster the smile on her face. What was this about? She just said she needed to work and now she can. Why does she feel so empty? I was definitely gonna tackle that later then tackle her… not again. I promise you, it isn’t always this bad. The engagement.

Her team started strolling in, curtailing all the plans I could have conjured to get her talking. Her attention was swerved to her team. She immediately took her spot next to Lucy, her best friend. I waved at Lucy and she beamed back. She was actually a cool person. Wilkes has had a crush on her since he met her 2 years ago, but because Lucy has a brain in her, she never gave in. He thought his feelings would pass by many a woman but he never was able to shake her off. Lately, he isn’t even entertaining women. He hasn't in a year. I continued to play dumb, knowing he was figuring it out.

Devin and Garcia also walked in. I greeted them as well. Devin gave me a hard time when Zoey and I started dating. Garcia was cool too. He took his role of father figure very seriously. Slowly but surely, homicide detectives piled in for their report back. The captain walked in and I took my place next to him. I did a general scan of the room and eyed Zoey, narrowed my eyes. I can see you faking everything.

Her eyes narrowed in return. I was sure she was cursing me to hell and back. My lips tipped up involuntarily and she stuck her tongue out at me. It earned her a smile. Now I’m having flashes of that tongue on my... Is it because we just got engaged? What is this?

“Alright,” Captain spoke. “Glad you all had a great weekend. Settle down. Welcome to our visitors.” Commotion calmed to silence as we waited for the Captain to continue. ”First off, welcome back Detective Washington and uh congrats on your engagement,”

I blanked. The f**k?

Zoey was just as surprised. How about you run this by us the next time you make an announcement about us, huh?

I gave the Captain an eye but quickly arranged my face to be neutral. I had a poker face to maintain. The precinct erupted in laughter and elation. As much as I would have appreciated a heads up, I could not deny my own joy. That gorgeous, smart, sassy, witty, mini-genius with the biggest heart I had ever seen was actually mine… to love, to cherish, to f**k – Oh for f**k’s sake. I genuinely had to shake it off because ... It was all I was thinking about and, quite frankly, I am sick of it.

Zoey hated spotlights and I actually saw her face fall after being thrust into the spotlight. Good, we both did not like the lack of warning. I am pretty sure he saw no harm in it, but bro...

In a very surprising turn of events, especially considering she had been a zombie for the past few minutes, Zoey doubled down on them and was fluttering her left hand. Well wishes were passed her way. I was smiling, even before I knew it.

“Alright, alright nothing to see here,” she giggled and wiggled her fingers some more “Just a gorgeous ring on a future Mrs,” The smile that took over her face now had my heart racing. She beamed so bright, kinda how she looked when she said yes to me. Alright, her weird zone was not about the engagement. Then it had to be about Stephen. Either way, I couldn’t keep my pokerface because I am happy. She turned her eyes to me, a flush creeping in as I returned her smile with a smirk of my own. I did not miss the spark of desire that flashed through her and the flush was no longer because of being shy. There was our problem again… I can barely have a thought without it turning s****l and here she was, provoking me AT WORK. She is going to pay for this.

“Aaw Zoey, you gonna cut me off like that baby?” someone said. Distracting me, thankfully. When I saw who said it, the gratitude disappeared. Who the f**k is that? Tall, lean and fit. Bald. “Who did you leave me for, huh?” the guy said. Possession started pumping in my veins like ice. I always did my best not to act on it, but moments like this drove me crazy. I was better than that. I barely showed it. Not because I did not feel it, but I know better than to undermine her. I know her enough to know how crazy it would drive her… sometimes she can see right through me.

Her musical laugh hauled me away from those thoughts, aligning me once more. She was mine and mine only. Irritation clear on her face, she turned to the guy and answered, “A man… a concept that seems to confound you, Redding,” she said.

Well, that had the necessary bite to appease my irritation.

“Who is he?” Redding asked. This guy really won't quite it. I chewed my lip to keep from responding. We were at work. he carried on. “No seriously? Isn’t he white? And FBI..” he said and his eyes settled on me as he put it together. “He’s here, isn’t he?”

I kept my gaze smooth as I looked at him. Zoey spoke up again.“Yes, he is,” and pointed at me. Pride welled in hard and strong. Yeah, we were gonna f**k again. Soon.

“Let’s see a kiss?” someone else boomed.

“No,” Zoey and I said simultaneously.

“She doesn’t kiss and tell,” Lucy came to our rescue. “If you focussed on your love life the way you did hers, we’d be having this conversation about you, Jerry,”

The room dissolved into silence. There was a history there. Wilkes shot an eyebrow up at me and he had concluded the same thing. I shrugged and looked at Zoey, who was staring down Jerry, her lips pursed and eyes narrowed. Of course, Wilkes was going crazy, having noted Lucy's tone. It was not friendly at all. It really was taking him a while to process what was going on with him. He was in love with her. Easy for everyone else to see. Foreign concept to Wilkes.

The Captain awkwardly intervened. “We wish you well in the married life, Special agent McCarty and Detective Washington. We will not have any issues with professional behaviour, will we?” he laughed.

"Ofcourse," I assured him. She shook her head. Did she forget the tossers I had for friends, they would eat me alive all day because of this.

“I am not promising that,” Zoey smiled at the Captain and her eyes turned to me with a heated stare. Come on! I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head. Javi snickering behind me did not help at all. Bronson was doing the same. Wilkes had his eyes trained on Lucy who was not looking at anything else other than her bestie.

“It won’t be a problem,” I narrowed my eyes at her, the smile I was biting back threatening to make an appearance. I managed to sound professional actually. There was a killer on the loose. Repeating the mantra. I was sure I had just lied to the whole Precinct.

Captain continued. “Now that the good news are out of the way, let us get to report backs?”

Thank f**k.