SEEKER

I WANT THE CRAZINESS

When last had I woken up naked?

Light movement interrupted me. I finally woke up. Everything I did was so mechanical. I had to pull through so much exhaustion and giddiness, I could understand my body’s confusion. I was too tired to do anything any other way. I leaned up, rubbed my eyes and reached out for him. The sheets were so soft against my skin. I was rolling in silky cotton candy.

“Baby?” I murmurred, yawning as well.

“Hey. I’m right here,” he said softly. I came into contact with his arms. I pulled myself closer to him, wrapping myself up in him. I did inventory on my body as I stretched a little. Tightness in my shoulders, my legs felt like jelly, my joints felt hingy like they were not attached to each other. I was beyond satisfied… overall, I felt great. Tired but so great.

I giggled, lazily. Absently, I checked my wrists, not even opening my eyes to inspect them. These cuffs didn’t bite like the last ones. He wrapped an arm around me, enveloping me in warmth, love and happiness. I couldn’t help my grin.

“You are in a good mood,” he drawled out and kissed the piece of my shoulder exposed to him.

I chuckled at him. It was funny how happy I was. I had never been this happy. Then again, I was always happy with him. A fear crept up on me about how long it would last… How long will I be this happy? I shook it off. I will not be the architect of my unhappiness. Not again. I was happy. He made me happy. Done. Screw you, depression.

“Hmm morning,” I whispered and pecked his shoulder, tightening my grip. “I am in a very good mood. Would you rather I go back to my moodiness?” He played with the hand I had on his chest, interlocking our fingers in different ways. His touch calmed the little voice of doubt and shoved it right back where it came from.

My bladder might be the thing to get me out of bed though. I’d wait till it reached dire need. You know, the do-or-die level of needing to pee. Till then, I was just gonna lay here. I could die right now and I would be good with it, I was that happy.

He chuckled. “Morning to you too,” he murmurred. There was an edge to his voice. “I’d take you any way I could, love,” I wanted to lean up and read his face but I was tired and that sun felt blinding… I settled for the kisses he showered my face with.

On a whim and when he gave the kisses a rest, I forced myself up and looked at him. He worried me a little. I had never heard that in his voice before. I ran my left hand in his hair and my right hand hovered over his lips. “Something wrong?” I settled over him. Something was on my finger but I would inspect it later. Right now, my concern was the Adonis in my arms.

He shook his head and kissed each of my fingers, playfully biting my pinkie. It made me laugh.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked sleepily, biting back a yawn.

“Slept great. Yourself?” he half smiled and held my face firmly. He still looked anxious.

I smiled. “Slept great, need to pee though. A little later,” I leaned down and pecked him. I meant for it to be a peck but it wasn’t. It had me thinking of getting those ‘Slippery when Wet’ signs for myself. “Hmm what is up?” I pulled back from his kiss, surprised.

“I need an excuse to kiss you?” he asked with mock horror.

“Yes,” I laughed.

“I want to kiss you,” he said, looking at my lips, then back up at me. I eagerly reciprocated his passion and soon, we were headed to my favourite part. My back flattened on the bed. I moaned into his kiss. “Need to ask you something. Don’t distract me,” he said between kisses. I remembered right then that I needed to pee. Oh crap. Dire status. Dire dire status. I was making out and that felt good so I focussed on kissing him. “Didn’t you need to pee?” he whispered, reminding me when I finally let him breathe.

That brought it right back. He rolled off of me as I pushed him off and I ran off. I had reached the most dire of status. First the opera and Thursday, we popped by Niagra falls (Via private jet, because what the hell McCarty!) and got back Saturday morning. There was a moment there where I felt something shift in us but he didn’t say anything. He was weird this whole weekend but also not and I couldn’t put my finger on it. We also fooled around. We went bowling, ‘watched’ movies, he took me dancing, the Jacuzzi (I tingled just thinking about our time there) the flash mob, art fare, museums, lazer tag… we were just together. I felt absolutely full to the brim with my love for him. I think I only got in 10 hours of sleep in total. Last night was watery. My toes were a little pruny still.

After relieving myself, I went ahead and just cleaned myself up, a little preoccupied with what on earth could be bothering Kellan. As much as he tried to distract me with his s*x-pertise, I was still onto him.

“Day and time?” I asked sleepily. (Biggest yawn of my life)

He smiled. “Sunday.” He checked his wrist. “About half 6. I ordered breakfast for later. Thought you would still be sleeping. We check out at 11, by the way.”

I had brushed my teeth, dazing off into a beautiful dream that this weekend was. Maybe if I cornered Kellan in the shower, I could make him spill the beans. “Shower baby?” I called, reaching for the tap. That was when I saw it. I stopped cold. I had a solid 2 minutes just staring at it. Oh dear God. I closed the tap, absently noting the bath he had prepared for us anyway with rose petals and bubble bath and, as much as it was sweet… What the f**k is on my finger? What the f**k! When the f**k did this… f*****g Hell!

I walked dazedly towards the bed. Only made it halfway. He was sitting up, as if he was waiting for me. “What… ?” I looked at him. “Kellan, what is this?” I whispered. “Why is it…” I was overwhelmed, the fervent, all-consuming love I had for him paralyzing me. I could not move anymore.

He looked up sheepishly. “It’s a ring.”

“A ring?” I whispered. Why would there … Oh my God! There was a ring. A gorgeous white gold band with a trio of diamonds. A big one and two small ones flanking it. It was simple. Gorgeous even. I went blank. “Oh my God.” I barely said. It hit me. This was happening to me. This was happening for real… I could not stop the waterworks then. Even if I tried, “Oh my God, oh my God,”

“I have been looking for a moment this whole weekend to ask you and I nearly had one when we were at the falls, but for the life of me, I had left the ring,” he laughed. “I am pretty sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It feels like I always knew from the moment we first met. I knew then, just as much as I know now. The way you smiled at me when you realised we would be working together on our first case… f*****g hell woman,” He chuckled. “You had me then.” He brought me closer. “You have me forever.” he said. I nodded, too stunned to actually speak. He pulled me towards the bed and sat me down. He then knelt in front of me, resting his forearms on my thighs. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. My tears almost flowing now. I could barely hear him over the sound of my heart racing. I could barely contain it. My hands started shaking. He gathered them in his hands and kissed them. Usually that would calm me but I was trembling with the feels. This was actually happening.Oh my God.

He wiped some tears from my face and continued. “I want the craziness, baby,” he smiled. That gorgeous, one-dimpled smile. “From the visions, to the random gift bags we get from the people you help, to your clumsiness, how cute you get when you are shy, how you sing when you are happy and your amazing ass pancake recipe. I want Shake–it-off Saturdays and Sleep-in Sundays. I want the random calls god-knows-when knowing you need to hear my voice so your gift can stop. I want moonwalking in the hallway when you have a lead." he chuckled. "I want to grow with you, love you, make your dreams come true. I want nothing else other than to be yours.” He sighed and kissed my hands. “I want it all with you, for the rest of my life," he smiled, his own emotions reflecting in his eyes. I couldn't stop crying, even when I laughed at his references. Oh my God! He continued, “So…” he shrugged sheepishly. He took my left hand and kissed my ring finger. “Zoey Amelia Washington, would you please do me the honour of being my beloved wife? Marry me?”

Holy gatdamn! It happened.

I stared at him and the ring and back at him. I was so dumbfounded. I did that in mute shock for a minute. I knew my answer the second I knew what was happening. It would be nice if I could find my voice. I was not well versed with emotions… let alone my own. Needed to find my voice. I had to stop crying.

“Say something please,” he asked. How long had I been silent? My voice was MIA.

“Oh,” I whispered really low.

“No.” he said. Blank face. His face fell.

“No?” I asked. My face fell. Was he taking the proposal back?

“No?” he asked. Why would he be asking me ‘no’ if he was the one… oh s**t!

“What?” he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Oh my God,” It hit me. “No, baby. Oh my God. Stop,” I was hit with a fit of giggles, tears still persevering. Misunderstanding much? He pulled his eyebrows together. I put a hand on his mouth, shutting him up. I couldn’t stop laughing. “Not no love. I said oh,” I finally managed to say, tears spilling over. He was so confused. I grabbed his face. “I was acknowledging my circumstances. I said ‘OH.’ Baby I said ‘oh.’“ I giggled and kissed him. “To answer you my love, yes. I will marry you. Yes,” I whispered.

“Yes?” He was still a little confused. I showered him with kisses. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be your wife and your forever f**k-buddy. Kellan Anthony McCarty, of course, yes. Always yes. I wanna spend the rest of my life loving you too. You are ‘IT’ for me. This is it,”

He smiled that triumphant smile. Here I thought I was incapable of feeling anymore happiness. I tackled him, kissing him again. “Lead with that,” he smiled exasperatedly.

I jumped his bones again.