Her Mortal Mate

Chapter Thirty Five: Addicted

Jadea

After the spell had worn off last night, we ate dinner and went straight to bed. It hadn't been late by any means, but as silent and as empty as that house appeared to be, it could have been damn near midnight and no one would have been the wiser.

Adam was rather quiet, as if he receded back into himself to potentially work through and mull over everything he learned and experienced from being so fully connected with someone in such a way. It was indeed like a drug; addicting especially to true mates. The craving of being so closely connected was always a persistent need, especially after the first drugging taste.

While Adam was connected with me, I'd felt his high through the connection. I had to wonder if he was still suffering the emotional and spiritual drop, even though it was now mid-morning?

Last night I wasn’t too worried. Both of us were emotional wrecks, and emotions tended to make one exhausted. He hadn't rejected me when I'd crawled into bed with him and curled up against his back and there wasn't anything amiss when he fell asleep before me.

But this morning, he just seemed… off. Especially when he rolled out of bed at the ass crack of dawn, showered, changed and went to sit out in Lance's garden. Alone.

I was leaning against the side of the house studying him. I was far enough out of his peripheral and hidden mostly by the brush and landscaping he wouldn't notice me unless he looked.

"He could just be worried about today," Garret's voice entered my mind softly. I felt his presence as he joined me. He stayed behind me, leaning his back against the house.

Yes. He could very well be letting that mind of his relive the trauma from the past week. Yet, I wasn't entirely convinced. "I'm surprised you haven't invaded his privacy," I stated, looking pointedly over my shoulder at him.

He shrugged, his hands buried deep in his pockets. "You know I don't like to do that, especially now I have learned how to control it. Not to mention he is one of us now. I try to allow everyone their privacy.”

Yes, Garret had indeed become better at not intentionally snooping. And I admired him greatly for that control. Most mind readers relied on their power to get them through their lives. They never truly learned how to read body language, or listen to inflection. They used everyone's mind as a crutch.

"However, if you are that concerned, I wouldn't mind assisting you," he offered.

I shook my head. "Thank you for the offer. But no. Adam has become... Better at discussing his problems and not just internalizing them. He'll let me know what's on his mind when he is ready." And if he didn't, then I would do what I had done before. I would call him on it. I didn't like invading another's mind unless I was invited. Especially my mate's. There would have to be a very dire situation at hand to force my decision to r**e him like that.

Garret seemed to be rather pleased with that answer. "Our little Adam has grown up."

I rolled my eyes at his pun. Garret knew very well how Adam felt about the age gap, but to us he seemed young because of both his mortality and surprising innocence. Yes, Adam had gone through and suffered a lot of s**t and trauma in his life. Yet, somehow, there was still a naivety to him. "Be nice, Garret."

"Am I not? I was trying to compliment him."

"Sounded like a backwards compliment to me."

"A compliment is still a compliment, right?"

I leveled him with a stern look and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Okay, maybe it was a little uncalled for," he relented. "You should go talk to him."

I wasn't so sure that was the best choice. Adam had come out here for a reason. He needed space from everyone, including me. While it stung, I understood that need. I'd been there before. Hell! What was I saying? I still needed personal moments away from everyone and the world. "No. Let's leave him be," I murmured, easing away from the corner of the house and turning for the front door. When he was ready to talk, he would let me know.

"Jay," I heard that note, that particular tone in Garret's voice and paused. "It wasn't a suggestion."

Slowly, I turned back to him. "Did you just...Lie to me?" I asked, a bit shocked and apprehensive, but I wouldn't necessarily put it past my beta to do something like that.

"No. He's projecting, Jadea. I swear, I didn't read his mind before. Something's really bothering him." He explained quickly.

"Any idea of what it is?" I asked a bit nervously. If Adam was projecting his thoughts, it meant he was having a good little argument with himself about something.

"It has to do with the blood bond."

Ah! That made sense. Relief washed over me. "Thank you, Garret. I've got it from here," I dismissed, knowing this would be rather easy to deal with.

"Of course. Oh, and Jay."

"Yes?"

"Lance said Nikolai is on his way. He should be here within the hour."

"Perfect!" That would give me enough time to pick Adam's brain and, hopefully, find a solution to whatever war he was waging within his mind.

After ensuring Garret left, I walked into Adam's direct line of sight. His gaze immediately sharpened on me and I saw how he nervously shifted.

Initially, I intended to take a seat next to him but decided against it. Instead, I sat down cross legged in the grass just before his bare feet. I smiled because I too liked to walk around barefoot. "Nice morning," I commented, my gaze peering up at him. He nodded, his gaze flitting everywhere except to me. "What's up, vanilla?" I encouraged softly.

"I-I-I," he stuttered hard and my heart broke a little at his near tangible uncomfortable nervousness. He paused, cleared his throat and tried again, speaking slowly. "I am having a h-hard time d-d-deciding if I. If I..." His whole entire neck and face flamed red and he damn near looked mortified.

I patiently sat, waiting for him to work it out. I breathed deeply, and I watched as he followed suit. Regardless if it was conscious or not, that was good.

"J-Jadea," he started abruptly. "W-What is a b-b-blood bond exactly?"

Reaching out, I snagged one of his ankles and pulled his foot onto my lap.

"W-What are you d-doing?" he demanded as flames once again stained his pale skin.

"I'm giving you a foot rub," I replied evenly, my fingers deftly massaging. He was so damn tense it was making my muscles ache just looking at him.

"Y-You don't have to do that!" He sounded embarrassed. When he tried to extract his foot, I held fast and shot him a glare, to which he immediately responded to.

"I want to," I responded again, evenly. My gaze moving up to meet his. When our gazes clashed, his was damn near frantic. He was worked himself into hyperventilating. "Why don't you do your 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, Adam," I suggested, my attention moving once again to his feet and ankles.

He nodded and leaned back. Several minutes of silence ticked by and I could feel him calming. "Do you feel better?" I asked him. He once again nodded. "Good. Are you ready to talk? Or would you like a few more minutes?"

"I think I'm finally ready."

Alright. I switched feet and began. "A blood bond is when two individuals exchange enough blood to where they are able to mentally connect. Some blood bonds only last a few hours or days. Others a week or two. And then there are those that last a lifetime. For those that don't last, usually the individuals making the bonds are intentionally wanting a temporary bond. Therefore, a minimal amount of blood is exchanged. However, for those who want a longer lasting or lifetime bond, several blood exchanges must occur." I could feel his blood pressure spiking again. "I'm not surprised you are freaked out over the idea of drinking blood, Adam."

"H-How did you... You know what? Never m-mind," he waved off the question. "I-I really want to be bonded with you, Jadea. But, I don't know if I c-could dr-dr," he sighed heavily when his words refused to come out. "Do that," he finished.

I expected this.

However, I hadn't expected him to want to make a decision about this so quickly, or how much anxiety it would cause him. "There is a way to make a partial bond," I started gently. "I can drink your blood and open my mind to you and keep us connected that way. Therefore, you wouldn't have to drink my blood."

"B-But I wouldn't have complete access to your m-mind unless you allowed me to, right?"

My gaze moved up to his in shock at his correct guess.

"I-It m-makes sense," he stammered. "That the one who drinks the b-blood has complete access to the other's mind, while the one who doesn't isn't allowed free access. Y-You did touch upon this l-last year," he reminded me.

Indeed, I had. "I'm impressed," I smiled up at him.

"I'm afraid you will ... Be selective with what you want me to see." He admitted. It was a good concern. A very real concern.

"There is that possibility," I agreed. "As much as I would like to say I wouldn't close you out, or cherry pick my emotions or memories, I know that is something I would do. Especially if I deemed whatever we were discussing wasn't necessary for you to know or worry about."

"I figured as much." He wrung his hands in his lap, the tension growing again.

"Hey," I soothed, rolling myself up onto my knees so I could nestle in-between his legs, my hands massaging his thighs soothingly. "Hey," I cooed. "It's okay. You don't have to make this decision right now."

"I know," he whispered. "But, I really enjoyed our i-intimate contact. And, I know this is g-going t-to sound crazy but I'm craving that experience. I'm addicted."

"Oh, Adam," I sighed, pulling him in for a drugging kiss. "I completely understand that feeling."

"Will this need... This, drive, to be so insurmountably connected with you ever go away?"

I shook my head in amusement. "No. It won't. But, as the more days go by without being submerged in each other's minds, it will become more tolerable."

"Wh-Why aren't you in just as much pain?"

"Who said I wasn't?" I asked in a knee-jerk way, my tone a bit defensive. Taking a deep breath, I continued. "It is easier," I admitted softly. "Only because I share blood bonds with the rest of my pack. Being connected with others helps soften that stinging blow. Now, I have a proposition to make," I started. "Why don't you allow me to make a partial bond with you until you decide one way or another if you want to commit to a full bond or not? It will help with that need and desire to be connected. And, I promise I won't force you out of my mind, even if it is tempting," I admitted. I knew if I gave my word, I wouldn’t break it. Unless it was absolutely necessary.

Silence stretched between us as he deliberated. "I trust you t-to keep your word,” he started. “I-I th-think I would be okay with that," he relented. "Though, I do have one last request."

"Okay?"

"I don't expect you to sugar coat anything when I’m in your mind.”

"I wasn’t going to," I agreed. "If you’re going to be with me, you have a right to know exactly what is going on. To survive in our world, you need to know certain things even if they are unpleasant. So, when would you like to do this?"

"As soon as possible.”