The Contestant: Ex Lover Edition

The List

After watching my favorite soap for the day, I grabbed my pen and paper. I drew a line down the center and at the top I wrote "pros" on the left side, and "cons" on the right. I always made lists. It was a favorite thing of mine to do. I make work to do lists, home-to-do lists. There is just something very satisfying about seeing it on paper.

Under "pros for show" I wrote one thing.

1. Be there for Chris and protect him.

Now for the "cons", I find a few more reasons.

1. Make an ass of yourself on TV.

2. The audience picks an asshole for you.

3. It is totally uninteresting and Josh's show flops.

4. Have cameras in your face every second of every day.

5. Go on awkward dates.

6. If you hate it, you're stuck on a contract.

7. Be stuck with strangers in an exotic place for 10 weeks.

I grabbed a pre-made store-bought salad out of the fridge. I poured a glass of pinot noir. I sat on the couch and as I ate my salad, I looked at the list on the coffee table in front of me.

I didn't need the list to know my answer was going to be yes. No matter what I came up with to put on the cons list, I had to do this show. I had to do it for Chris. I can't let him get stuck with another gold-digging girl like his ex, Christie. I'm not saying Chris is rich, but he is a partner in an accounting firm. He does well for himself. They were terrible together. Chris and Christie, those names were too cute together. You just knew it was going to be doomed from the start.

The next morning, as I was leaving, I saw that stupid list on my coffee table as I was closing and locking the door. It was a reminder of me talking myself into this show last night. As if I could forget. It was all that was consuming my mind.

When I got to the office, I was the second one there. Tina beat me to the office this morning. Her boss must have an early meeting today. I unlocked the door and locked it behind me. Karen would open the office at 8 when she arrived. I headed to my office.

I checked voicemail, emails and headed to Chris's office. Karen had pulled his files for meetings last night and I wanted to verify they were in order. I checked the files and turned to leave his office. He was standing right behind me and I ran right into him.

"I am so sorry! I didn't hear you come in," I said.

He had grabbed both of my arms slightly above my elbows to steady me. He was looking directly into my eyes. I held eye contact with him for a few seconds.

"No big deal. I guess I snuck up on you. I suppose I need to make more noise when I walk," he replied.

He let go of me, walked around me and set his laptop bag on his desk.

"Yeah, you were like a ninja. I didn't hear a thing!" I joked.

"So, how did your list go last night?" he asked me.

"I finished it last night," I responded.

"And?" He waited for my response. He stopped moving.

"Maybe you were right. I guess there were more pros than cons after all," I answered.

"Really? So you're in?" He sounded excited.

"I am," I said, plainly.

Chris was so excited he went around the desk. He picked me up and hugged me! I felt myself blushing again.

"I was hoping you would agree! I didn't want to do this alone," he said.

"I mostly just want a free vacation." I responded, sarcastically.

"We will have fun! Now go print the schedule so we can get these meetings moved. We need to free up 10 weeks." He said seriously again.

"I am on it."

"Also, dinner is on me tonight! We need to celebrate and go out in public before we are all famous," he joked.

This time I rolled my eyes at him.

"Dinner sounds great!"

It was weird seeing Chris excited about something that wasn't a football game. Usually, the only time I saw him excited was when the Bengals were winning. Let's face it, that didn't happen often.

In the back of my mind was still that list. I had lied about the list. He was the only reason I wanted to do the show. I never thought about him romantically. However, the thought of him dating another girl like Christie, his most recent gold-digging ex, made me sick. I would help him find the perfect woman and I would convince the audience they needed to vote for her. Somehow some way.

When I got back to my office, I grabbed my phone. I sent a text to Josh. I typed, "I am in too. See you Friday."

He replied back immediately, "who is this?"

As I was typing my name he sent another text. "Just kidding Stacey. I am glad to hear it. I have the studio attorneys working on the contracts as we speak. I had faith Chris would convince you."

I put my phone away. I pulled up Chris's calendar for the next 3 months. I printed it out so we could go over his appointments and reassign them. The next few days are going to go very slowly. All I could think about was this show and the whirlwind of reality TV I was about to experience, from the other side of the screen.