The Free Spirit

Chapter 7

Sam felt like an i***t. An absolute fool. She groaned as she shut the door, not bothering to turn on the light as she kicked her heels off. Crossing the room in two long strides, she threw herself onto the bed with another grunt of embarrassment.

If you wanted to come upstairs…

“Ugh!” She smacked herself on the forehead. “So stupid.”

“I take it things didn’t go as planned?”

She leapt at the sound of his voice, twisting to make out his shape in the chair in the corner of the room. “What if I had come upstairs with him?” she snapped. “Were you just going to hope he didn’t notice?”

Thane chuckled softly. “He would have never seen me.” He leaned forward and snapped on the lamp beside him, throwing long shadows across the room. “But there was clearly no need to worry. You’re obviously not the seductress you thought you were.”

She winced. “I never claimed to be a seductress. You and I both know how limited my experience has been.”

He clutched his chest in mock offense. “I think I’ve provided plenty of experience.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. If that’s what you want to believe.”

He grinned. “You always get snarky when you’re worked up. I love it.”

Sam didn’t reply, instead flopping back onto the bed and staring at the ceiling. “You said he would be eager,” she muttered. “That he sticks his d**k in anything.”

“Most young male wolves are like that,” Thane replied lazily. “His father certainly was.”

“He said he’s waiting for his mate.”

Thane scoffed. “You seem to attract that type.”

She flinched, her heart pitching painfully. She didn’t talk about Lucien very often, but it always hurt worse when Thane was the one who brought him up.

“Come here,” Thane said more softly.

She wanted to refuse. Wanted to tell him to get the f**k out of her room. To leave her alone and never come back. But it was pointless. Thane was never going to let her go. He’d made that abundantly clear. And maybe… just maybe… some small part of her liked not being alone. Even if it was him.

She rolled off the bed and padded across the room. Thane didn’t hesitate. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, his hand moving to cup her chin gently.

He had black hair, the ends tipped with white. His skin was pale, his eyes dark – almost black – speckled with tiny flecks of silver and white. He looked like the night sky.

“What a fool he was,” Thane whispered, his breath warm against her lips. “To have something as marvelous as you in front of him and not realize it.”

Her heart fluttered painfully as Thane brushed his lips over hers in the barest kiss before tucking her head beneath his chin. She snuggled in despite herself, letting warmth seep into her bones, breathing in his scent – raspberries, jasmine, and something faintly metallic.

“I messed up,” she murmured into the rough fabric of his shirt. “He turned me down.”

“He turned you down this time.” Thane brushed a hand slowly over her hair. “But there will be more opportunities. Trust me. I knew he might not take the bait quickly. Your lack of scent and aura intrigues him. But he was raised to be cautious. I’m not surprised he hesitated.”

“He wants his mate.” Another painful squeeze tightened her chest. “He said as much.”

“I know where his mate is,” Thane breathed. “He won’t find her anytime soon. We have plenty of time to enact my plan.”

Sam chewed her lip, grateful her face was hidden from him. After all these years, Thane could read her like a book. He’d know what she was thinking. The guilt. The doubt.

Ronan deserved his mate. Every wolf did. She had grown up hearing that. How finding your fated mate was like finding completion. She had watched Lucien change, watched his love for her vanish the moment the bond snapped into place.

She had never stood a chance. And she had never tried to take him away. All she had ever wanted was for him to be happy, even if it broke her.

“He’s a nice guy,” she said quietly, lifting her head to look at Thane.

“Perhaps.” He shrugged. “There are plenty of nice people in the world. I should know. I watch nice people die every day.”

Her stomach twisted. “Does it have to be him?”

Thane nodded once. “There’s no one else. He’s the one I need.”

“But why?”

His expression darkened slightly. “What’s with all the questions, Sam?” he asked. “You help me get to him, and you get what you want. Your freedom. No more me.”

That same strange feeling fluttered in her chest. The one that came every time he mentioned freedom. Because once upon a time, she had believed she loved him. After Lucien, having Thane choose her over everyone else had felt like a gift. Like he saw value in her when no one else did.

But that feeling had long since soured. Replaced with bitterness. With resentment. With the knowledge that he could leave. He could have anyone else. But he chose not to.

Thane pressed his forehead against hers. “You don’t love me, Sam.”

“And you don’t love me,” she whispered, closing her eyes.

“I would if I could.”

He said it every time. She used to scream at him for that answer. Demand something more. Demand feelings he didn’t have.

I would if I could.

Eventually, she learned to believe him. Thane was incapable of love.

“Do you want me to stay?” he murmured. “I could take care of you. Give you what that foolish wolf wouldn’t.”

Part of her wanted to say yes. Wanted to feel something, anything, instead of the hollow ache eating at her insides. But she forced the word out anyway. “No.”

He sighed softly, pulling back. “You haven’t let me have you in ages.” There was no real anger in his tone as he let her slip off his lap. That was one of Thane’s few redeeming qualities. He had never forced her.

In the beginning, she had wanted him desperately. Needed him in ways that bordered on obsession. But time had dulled that hunger, leaving only habit and emptiness behind.

“I can at least stay until you fall asleep,” he offered.

“I’m sure you have work to do, Thane.” She moved back toward the bed.

“I always have work,” he muttered. “Every minute of every hour for the rest of my life. It’s not going anywhere. I just…” He trailed off.

“You what?” she asked.

“You seem sad,” he admitted with a sigh. “I feel bad leaving you alone.”

She froze, blinking at him. “Since when do you care about my feelings?”

His face fell slightly. “For far longer than you’ve realized.” He said nothing more. Just crossed the room and pressed a soft kiss into her hair. Then he was gone, leaving her alone in the dim hotel room.

Silence settled heavily around her. Sam sank onto the edge of the bed, staring at nothing.

Ronan’s face flickered through her mind. His warm smile. His bright green eyes. The way he had gently held her hand in the diner and the storm of butterflies he had set off inside her.

Her chest tightened painfully. She didn’t want to hurt anyone. All she wanted was her freedom, but there was no way to get that without sacrificing Ronan.