Punished

Denial

As I step out of the shower, I realize I have thought only about Marco and nothing else. My best friend just slammed the door in my face and all I can think about is his hands on me. That just increases my annoyance, and I step out of my room in my towel, about to tell Cara how stupid it is that we are fighting over a guy. I am met with silence. Cara is usually listening to music, so this is odd. I guess she left. I walk to her room and peek in. Yeah, she definitely left. What the hell? Now a little sad, on top of being mad, I quickly throw on some sweatpants and curl up on my bed. Time to watch some reality tv and relax, if that’s possible. As I am half listening to the tv and half falling asleep, I let myself drift back to last night. Oh man, Marco definitely knows how to handle himself. Of course he does, stupid, I tell myself. He has most likely had hundreds of lovers. His line of work and bad boyish looks make him a flavor most females can’t live without. Those thoughts instantly formed a knot in my belly, who am I kidding? I won’t deny he enjoyed it, he did get off after all. But I can’t help feeling insecure as I think about the hundreds he has to compare me to. I wonder how many asked him to hurt them? I am still mortified that I did that. I really didn’t understand it at the time. I had never had an orgasm before, I just assumed it couldn’t happen for me. I guess the trauma I sustained as a child is now manifesting itself as an adult. Stopping myself from going down that hole of darkness, I drag my lazy ass out of bed. I have already wasted the whole morning with my pity party and I need to find something to do. I change out of my sweats into a pair of running shorts and t-shirt. I think I need to run all of this mess out of my head. I head out the door, letting my playlist drown out all thought. As I round the corner heading into the park, I feel like I am being watched. Brushing it off as paranoia I continue my way into the park to my favorite path. I push myself, wanting to feel the burn to further push out any possible thought. I come to a quick stop, needing to catch my breath. As I do, I notice a really out of place gentleman in a suit standing by the tree line about 20 feet away. As I spotted him, he started moving the other direction. Weirdly paranoid now that I am being followed, I head towards the direction of my apartment. My thoughts are going crazy now, as I reach my apartment. Now safely inside, I swear I spotted that same guy again. I pick up my phone, immediately thinking that this must have something to do with Marco. I look at the several texts he has sent, that I have been ignoring. I had not read them until now, and I realize he must be having me followed. His text become annoyed as I was not responding, ending in “Miranda, I will not be ignored. “ Now angry that he may feel some sort of possession over me, I finally respond to his text. “ I will do as I please, as I am a grown ass woman, and you lied to me about who you are, I want nothing to do with you, so you can stop having me followed.” Pleased with myself I hit send and set my phone down. I hit the shower, now determined to have some fun tonight, it is my weekend off. I thought I heard my phone ringing, as I stepped out. I wrap myself in a towel and back into the living room to check it and there is a very large, very sexy man sitting in my favorite chair. He startled me, and I jumped slightly, causing my towel to fall slightly revealing more skin then he deserves to see. I caught my towel and fix my glare at him, who the f**k do you think you are!? This is my f*****g apartment and you do not have the right to break in here!! “Your security here is very disappointing Miranda”, is my only answer, and now I am even more pissed. Get the f**k out!!!! I am literally shaking as I throw him out of my place, and his smug ass slowly rises from my chair and stares a hole into my dark soul, “ I will leave Miranda, as I see you are upset, but you will be receiving an actual security system as soon as my team can get on it, and there will be one of my men with you at all times when you are not with me.” My face must have shown rage at this point but he simply continued “this will not be negotiable Miranda, It was not me that had you followed earlier,” and with that he walked out shutting the door behind him. I could see one of his men stay behind and stand in front of the door through the keyhole. Damn him for being so smug, and damn myself for feeling a little lost without him here. Well Marco, if it wasn’t you that had me followed then I better get to work to figure out who the f**k it was.