Damn doorbell! Why do I always have to get it? My whole life: ‘Tommy, get the door!’ The endless stream of suitors interested in my older sisters had the bell ringing all day long when I was growing up.
“Chris? Mrs. Reyes?” I shouted making my way down the stairs, adjusting my glasses on my nose, and trying not to trip over my big, clumsy feet. Where is everybody?
“I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your horses!” I yelled not hiding my annoyance, as whoever it was rang the doorbell for the fourth damn time.
“Hi Tommy!” Our nosy neighbor’s impish smile greeted me as I opened the front door. I had to try hard, but succeeded at not rolling my eyes. Why must she insist in still calling me that? I am 27, almost 28 years old, for crying out loud.
“Good morning Mrs. Braniff. What brings you by this morning?” — Yet again — I thought to myself.
“Oh nothing in particular sweetheart, I just thought I’d come by and do my neighborly duty and check up on y’all. You know, now that your parents have picked up and left y’all here all by yourselves.” She drawled on in her sickly sweet and rehearsed tone.
“Oh well, that’s nice of you,” and very nosy, and not true. She made it sound like we were some poor kids whose parents abandoned them. My, our, parents are in their sixties. They didn't pick up and leave, they retired and moved closer to the city to finally get some well-deserved rest after working their whole lives here at the ranch.
“Well, I’m nothing if not nice, darling,” she winked at me, irking me to my very core. I could think of a couple of other things she was. Pushy at the very top of the list. Why was she really here?
“That you are, that you are,” I said with a fake smile, nodding my head. “But as you can see, Mrs. Braniff,” I gestured backwards to the inside of the house with my extended arm from my place under the threshold, “the house still hasn't burnt down. I’m alive and well. It’s just me and my brother now. The girls haven’t lived here for years, as you know. We manage just fine.” I retorted in a tone that very thinly veiled the irritation I was feeling.
“Well I swear Tommy, you young men these days! So self-sufficient!” She quipped condescendingly. “But I'm willing to bet that you and Chris could use a home-cooked meal after a long day here at the ranch and the clinic. Why don’t you come on over for supper tonight? Danielle is coming down from Albuquerque. Y’all used to be so close when y’all were kids. Wouldn’t it be nice for y’all to catch up?”
There it was! That's why she was here! Another setup attempt with her daughter. There is nothing wrong with the girl — well — woman now. Yes, growing up neighbors we had spent time together. Not like there’s that much else to do around here. She's pretty in her own way, I know my brother Chris definitely used to think so. She was in my year at school, a year older than him, so that was part of the allure. Me? I have never liked her that way. She does absolutely nothing for me.
Quick Tom, come up with an excuse!
“Uhm, I’m sorry, I can't. I already promised Mrs. Reyes I’d drive her back down to Silver City tonight after work. Her car has been acting up, and I don't like the idea of her stranded on the road, you know?” I quickly lied plastering on as sincere a smile as I could muster.
“Always such a sweet boy, Tommy! But you can always come on over after you’ve dropped her off; Silver City is not that far away,” she pushed her agenda a bit further.
“No, you are right,” I added, rubbing the back of my neck with my left hand, trying to come up with a plausible ending for this sentence. “But while I’m there I need to get some supplies for the clinic. That always takes me a while. Not the kind of thing I like to rush,” I finished hoping it was enough.
That last part was true. Whenever I got supplies for the clinic it took me hours. I didn't need to do it now, I just went 2 weeks ago, but she didn’t need to know that.
“Oh, isn't that just a shame!” She blurted out while c*****g her head to the side, giving me a look that confirmed that my lying skills needed a bit of work.
“I’ll ask Chris though. I’ve never known him to pass up a free meal,” I said with a grin trying to save face. Plus, Chris liked Danielle. I didn’t think he’d actually mind.
“Sure, sure. We’d love to have him over,” she said in a singsong voice, admitting defeat but letting me know she wasn’t buying it. “Ok then. Tell him, 6:30 sharp. I’ll see you around Tommy. Don’t forget now, I’ve known you your whole life. A meal in my home is not the worst thing you could be doing on a Friday night around these parts.” With that, she turned around, went down the dusty porch steps and started walking back up to her house on the dirt path.
I closed the door behind me and made my way back into the house. I made a left down the narrow hallway towards the kitchen. It was only about nine in the morning, but I felt like I could use a second cup of coffee. Or was it a third? Just as I reached the coffee maker for my refill, I heard the screen door open, followed by the actual back door which opened right into the kitchen.
“Well, where the hell were you?” I snapped.
“Good morning to you too, bro!” Replied my baby brother with an arched brow and an irritated tone. I'm not a morning person, but even for me, that was a bit harsh I’ll admit.
“For your information — not that I owe you an explanation or anything — I went for a jog and then went to check the fencing at the northern border. The damn wolves keep getting through. The fence is not keeping them out... It’s intact, but I can see paw prints everywhere on the inside. We haven’t lost any head of cattle either. Makes no sense.”
“And you are sure it's wolves?” The only wolves around here are Mexican grays, bro. There’s like 160 total in all of New Mexico and Arizona. Combined. Slim chance that we’d have several here on the property,” I pointed out dismissively.
“Yeah well, I might not be a fancy vet — like some cocky assholes — but I can damn well recognize a paw print when I see one. It's not just one either,” he clapped back, annoyed.
“Ok, fine! Chill! If you want I’ll go with you to check it out later after work,” I said, then I remembered. “Ah no, not tonight,” I said with a big grin, ready to drop the bomb. “You, dear brother, are expected for dinner at the Braniff’s,” I gloated, not hiding my amusement.
“The f**k I am! When did that happen?” He yelled.
“When I had to play doorman again. It was your turn, and I got cornered!”
“That makes no sense, bro. Get over the door thing already. There were five of us kids here growing up. We all opened the door.”
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. “Mrs. Braniff came over to check up on us poor lost boys earlier,” I explained, taking a sip of my coffee. “Turns out Danielle is home for the weekend... She wants us to ‘catch up’. I'm not up for it, but you might just be. If you know what I mean.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him and took another sip.
Chris gave me a pointed look. “What are you, twelve? Who talks like that? That bro, is why you haven’t been up for any in like forever!” He patted my back twice, like he was offering me his sincerest condolences, and poured himself some coffee.
“Last time I tell you anything, asshole!” All of a sudden my feet became very interesting. I shouldn’t have told him about my problems in the ‘getting up’ department. Not even a week, and he was already using it against me. Serves me right for getting wasted on cheap tequila. Never again.
“Sorry dude. My bad,” he said, and he almost sounded sincere. Almost.
“Well now you are definitely going next door for dinner. Whether you like it or not, jackass! That was below the belt. Pun intended.” I say trying not to laugh at my own lame joke.
“Danielle is a nice piece of ass, don’t get me wrong...”
“Yeah, because that was super subtle and open for interpretation,” I sassed him. Chris loved to sound crass. Part of his bad boy persona.
He rolled his eyes at me and walked over to the dingy kitchen table and took a seat on one of the orange, chrome and vinyl chairs mom bought as ‘antique pieces’ at the thrift store.
“Would you shut it for once, and let me finish?” He continued, “I wouldn’t mind catching up with Danielle, but the mom, dude? No f*****g way! No amount of s*x, no matter how good is worth an evening with Mrs. Braniff,” he said and shuddered for dramatic effect.
“It's just dinner. I'm not asking you to marry her, bro! Or even have s*x with her for that matter,” he shot me an incredulous look that said ‘yeah, like that’s gonna happen’. “Just go over there so Mrs. Braniff stays the hell away for at least a week or two,” I pleaded.
Chris just moved back a few months ago, whereas I've been back home since I got out of vet school two years ago. After several meddling attempts, my tolerance for our busybody neighbor was at an all-time low.
“f**k it. Fine. I’ll go over. But you owe me!” He muttered begrudgingly.
“I’ll pay you back in beer. No — wait, that's right — you live here for free fucker. You owe me. But I will go check out this ‘wolf issue’ of yours,” I said triumphantly. Clearly I had won this round.
“Well dude, if I live here for free in your house, then the wolf issue here is yours, not mine.”
He shot me his signature mischievous look, perfected throughout his whole life as the baby of the family, and walked out of the kitchen. “I'm going to take a shower,” he announced bitterly.
“You do that!” I yelled back. “With cold water, cuz the boiler is busted again,” I said under my breath. Let him be surprised.