Diary of Ivory Black

Chapter 8: A Surprise Visit

    “Mei! Are you home?” Olive shouted from Mei’s porch step. Which felt kind of redundant, knowing full well that Mei has been home for the past two days.

    After a few seconds of waiting, the front door was finally opened. By Mei’s father, Joseph White. However, Olive has never known his name or has ever bothered to ask of it. Which was quite odd, considering she’s very close to his daughter.

    “Olive?” Joseph asked as he opens the door.

    “Hi, Mr. White.” Olive greeted in her cheerful tone, as always.

    “Came to visit Mei I see.” He commented as he gestured Olive to come inside.

    Olive felt somewhat guilty entering Mei’s home, considering the talk she had earlier with Violet. But she couldn’t help it, she needs to see Mei. But despite her determination to do so, she still has a fear that she might make the situation worse. What with her attitude and all. She’s not the best person to be helping with this kind of things.

    “She’s in her room, try to get her to eat.” He stated as he hands her a plastic container of Mei’s favorite food. She has no idea when or where did he suddenly got it from.

    “Okay, I’ll try,” Olive replied softly, before leaving the scene and start walking towards Mei’s room. She glanced back at Mr. White, his face was full of worry and grim. For his sake, she has to try. She has to try getting her friend back up on her feet.

    Olive stopped right at the door, then leaned in her ear. No music, no voice, no breath...Nothing. She contemplates on whether Mei was even in the room, then shrugged it off almost as soon as the thought comes up.

    “She’s either sleeping or crying.” She thought to herself as she knocked on the wooden door.

    “Mei,” Olive called out, in a soft voice, “It’s me, Olive.”

    She leaned in again to listen for any sound of movement. Nothing.

    “Mei?” Olive called out again, a bit louder this time.

    Mei was woken up, quite abruptly. There was a loud noise from outside her room calling her name, and she knows well that the voice belongs to Olive. She stumbled around in her bed to find her glasses but decided that she can manage.

    She practically jumped out of the bed in hurry to open the door for her friend, only to trip over a pile of paper on the floor. She cursed at herself for doing so, as she knows that she’ll have sort those papers again sometime soon. Those papers. Ivory’s papers.

    Though, she got back up almost instantly before finally opening the door to Olive.

    “Finally.” Olive retorted with a chuckle.

    Mei sighed, “Hi.”

    Mei let the door open for Olive to come in, though she was quite embarrassed to let her friend come in while she’s like this. At her lowest point in life. Her life was a mess and so is she. She’s not even stable enough to be herself.

    Olive could only stare at what has become of Mei’s room. The room was very dim, the only light source was Mei’s computer screen. Stacks of papers were all over the floor, one stack looked like it had been tipped over and she’s assumed that that’s what has caused the sound earlier. Clothes and empty instant noodle cups were all over the bed, indicating what Mei’s lifestyle has become in the last week.

    Olive sighed then went straight to cleaning, and Mei was left standing near the door. Because to be blunt, the bed was already preoccupied with junk. She sighed then went to her desk to pick up her glasses, she then notices a seemingly new plastic container on her desk.

    “Waffles,” She thought to herself as she slowly opened the plastic container. Olive must’ve set it there while she was not looking, i.e. while she wasn’t wearing her glasses. But judging by the way the strawberry jam's sloppily placed, it seemed that her dad had made it. She mentally thanks him for doing so.

    This whole thing was nice. Great even! Friends and family members taking care of each other in their time of need, and being there for each other when they needed it. But Mei knew that Olive is too mentally tired to be doing this, so she just asked her friend to stop.

    “I don’t want my mess to be a burden,” Mei explained. Olive could only shake her head but complied nonetheless.

    Mei suddenly found herself being a hypocrite. Maybe this was how Violet was feeling back then. She chuckled at the thought. God, she was miserable.

    “You know that you’re not a burden,” Olive said, “To anyone.”

    “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Mei apologized, her eyes laced with guilt and sadness.

    “No need to apologize.” Olive dismissed. She gave the bed a quick glance before saying, “You probably need to lay down.”

    “I just slept,” Mei stated defensively.

    “You need to lay down,” Olive repeated, before adding, “Comfortably.”

    “Fine,” Mei grunted, and that was the only thing Olive needed before she started cleaning up Mei’s bed.

    She took all the dirty clothes off of the bed and lay them down onto a pile in the corner of the room, and set the empty cups of noodles into another separate pile. And once she’s done with that, she fixed up the bed and pulled up some new blankets and comforters from Mei’s dresser.

    Mei was still standing by the front door when Olive’s finished, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander off. Luckily, Olive managed to snap her out of it before her thoughts sank too deep.

    Olive gestured Mei to get up on the bed, Mei could only comply as Olive soon joined in with her. And there they were, cuddling comfortably in Mei’s bed, in Mei’s dim room. Olive had asked a few times if she could turn the lights on, but Mei would always refuse, fearing the lights would hurt her eyes too much.

    They didn’t say anything for a while. Olive was humming sweet tunes as she played with Mei’s messy hair, comparing each strand to what Mei’s hair usually felt like. It somehow felt the same.

    Mei didn’t mind any of this, she allowed herself to ease into Olive’s gentle touch. And for a moment, she felt—No. “Happy” was not the word to describe this. Nevertheless, it was a good feeling.

    The world seemed to have stopped in its tracks to give some time to these two girls, giving them a few moments to catch their breaths and gather their thoughts. Because they both know they needed it

    It’s been a few minutes, maybe an hour since any of them spoke about anything. Olive was still humming, though, and soon enough Mei had joined in. And this was exactly what Mei needed. Peace, but not quiet. Anything but quiet.

    “Hey Olive?” Mei suddenly voiced.

    “Yeah?” Olive answered, stopping her wonderful tunes to answer Mei.

    “Thanks for coming here, even if I didn’t have the energy to reach out.” Mei thanked with a soft smile.

    “What are friends for?” Olive remarked with a chuckle as she continues to play with Mei’s hair.

    Mei could only sigh in agreement, unable to reply. And after that, it was back to the soft humming. It was nice, how Olive didn’t mind Mei’s mood. Not wanting to talk at all, and then wanting to talk so badly but unable to find the words to do so. “It was nice that someone was able to put up with me.” Mei thought to herself as she begins to hum once more, syncing her voice with Olive’s.

    Now that Mei’s thought of it, what were they humming? It was a familiar tune, but she couldn’t quite make up what it was or where it came from. Never mind that, it’s not important.

    “Hey Olive?” Mei said again.

    “Yeah?” Olive answered, her tone as calm and collected as the first time she had said that.

    “Can I vent?” Mei asked. Because she knows that sooner or later, she’ll need to somehow unload what she’s been feeling lately. But at the same time, she doesn’t want to load too much baggage onto her friend. Olive has her own problems and feelings to deal with, and Mei doesn’t want to get in the way of that.

    “Sure, say whatever you like,” Olive said with a smile. Mei couldn’t tell if it was real or fake anymore. Her mind was too disoriented, and a week was apparently enough time for her to forget what a genuine smile looks like.

    “Okay,” Mei replied shortly. She then took a deep breath, then started rambling. Her voice was coarse from lack of water, and her tone sounded desperate to get the words out. She needed this, badly.

    “I know I am a handful.” Mei started.

    “Oh, don’t say that,” Olive grunted Mei could only let out a dry laugh as she continued.

    “I need reassurance and sometimes I’m emotionally empty. Everyone has their highs and lows. I’ve been to some dark places, but I’ve been to some heavenly places as well. But right now, I’m in the worst shape of me.” Mei rambled, Olive listened intently as she stroke Mei’s hair.

    “I’ve always been mediocrely or half-assed,” Mei stated.

    “You play fire crackers for fun, Mei.” Olive reminded, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Mei dismissed her and continued to talk, and Olive was reminded of how bad she is at this. Comforting and listening.

    “I want to be with you on the good days, the bad days, even the days where you’re unsure. I’d stay with you at odd hours just to know you’re okay, it doesn’t matter the time, I’ll be patient with you. I’ll listen to you, if you’re crying, angry, even silence if you have nothing to say. I want you to be able to tell you that I love you, but if you need reassurance I want to be able to give you that too.” Mei said, stumbling over the last sentence.

    “So this is what Mei’s been feeling?” Olive thought to herself. “She felt like she’s supposed to be responsible for the rest of us.”

    Ivory was fire to Mei’s rain. She sounded like confidence while Mei smelled like virtue. She flirted with the truth and persecuted lies. she danced awkwardly and laughed too loudly, and was loved for it. She was the kind of girl that screamed what she wanted while Mei whispers of what she needed.

    She listened to top 40 and indie and classic rock, anything with lyrics that filled her with warmth like butterflies. She wore black leather jackets and dark red lipstick to show people the walls around her heart instead of telling them about it. While Mei was the type who tore through books faster than lightning because words are the only way she’s learned to deal with anything.

    She swallowed her pain like pills and handed out pieces of her love like fliers. She loved sunsets and their pink and orange clouds, and how nature always gave us a beautiful ending to every day. She was wildflowers and bubbling springs when she loved, but teeth and flashing red moons when on her bad side. She liked to think that people were everything good and everything bad and that she herself was some beautifully cruel mystery.

    They are the exact opposite of each other, yet they complete each other so perfectly. No wonder it’s a torment for one of them to lose the other.

    “I want to show you that passion exists within the small things. I’ll fall in love with your little things. The color of your eyes, the way they focus and watch me. The curve of your lips, that tell a story. I don’t want to fall in love with you, with the touch of my hand but in fact with my soul.” It’s what Ivory would say, Olive thought to herself. Yes, what Ivory would say is probably some long corny and pretentious thing to help lighten up the situation without straying off the topic. That’s Ivory.

    But she’s not Ivory, and she sure as hell was not going to replace her role. So Olive just continued to listen to Mei. But she couldn’t help but keep coming up with ideas, of what Ivory would do to comfort Mei.

    Maybe she’ll say something along the lines of, “You’ll be cherished, regardless of your past.”

    Or, “And every spark, flame, or current has a chance to burn out, or to stop. Because love is anything but perfect. And neither are we.”

    Or maybe, “I believe you won’t need a holiday like Valentine's day to feel my love for you because I’ll try my hardest every day to show you, maybe through ink spilled pages, love letters to you of whom I’ve yet to meet. And when we collide, I’ll try not to make it such a cliché.”

    Or rather, “We can grow together. become better individuals. And if it ever comes to an end at least we took the risk to fall and get back up again. And maybe we found a piece of ourselves.”

    And it was at that moment Olive had realized, that she had accidentally said the last sentence out loud. Mei had stared at her, her captivating obsidian eyes already tearing up from behind her glasses.

    “Sorry, I should’ve just listened.” Olive apologized, her voice coarse and restrained.

    “No, no.” Mei blurted, “I needed it, honestly.”

    Olive was speechless, she proceeded to hug Mei afterward. It felt right.

    Mei eased into the hug, feeling the warmth of Olive’s body against hers. This was exactly what she needs, comfort.

    She couldn’t help but think of what would Ivory do, seeing her like this. In this condition. In her lowest point yet.

    And she has a feeling that it’ll only continue for the worst from here.

    It’s a lonely world out there

    Just you and me

    Against the city

    Oh, will we ever find what we’re searching for?

    In this lonely world, out there

    When the world is drained of all mercy

    And you feel like you’re all alone

    Just remember,

    That I will be there

    For you...

    “By the way,” Olive spoke as they break apart from their hug. “This might be a bad timing to ask, but what exactly happened back at Ivory’s house?” She asked.

    “Oh, that.” Mei sighed.

    “You don’t have to tell me now if you don’t want to. Just, tell me someday.” Olive assured.

    “No, I want to tell you now,” Mei insisted, “I don’t want to bury this any longer.”

    “Okay, just don’t push yourself too far,” Olive warned.

    “Okay,” Mei said. She then took a deep breath, before saying, “It all started when...”