The HazeWalker

What am I??

I’ve got to get out of this town! I thought as I cleaned my last table for the night. I had been waiting

tables at Sally’s Diner for two weeks and was already sick of it. I hated being cooped up in this little diner all

day long. By the time I was actually able to get out and find a safe enough place to phase, I barely had any

time before I was due at my second job. Something had always been pulling me away from here, telling me

this wasn’t were I belonged, but I had ignored it, pushing it aside as just a silly feeling, but I knew better. The

older I got the stronger the feeling became.

Before I go any further let me explain a little about myself. My name is Eliza Isabelle Waters. I was left

at a church when I was a newborn in a duffel bag with a blanket and a letter. It was from my birth mother

vaguely explainings that they had not wanted to let me go, but for some reason thought they had to. I was

instantly put into the foster system, being sent from foster home to foster home. I was a very active child and

couldn’t sit down or concentrate on anything. I always wanted to be outside running, jumping, or playing in

the trees. If I didn’t get my way I usually threw outrageous tantrums, throwing and breaking things, even

getting physically violent. Because of this no foster family ever wanted to keep me.

As I got older I was able to control my tantrums more, and finally able to get my grades at school

under control. By the time I was 13 I had been in 12 different foster homes. I never stayed one place too long,

until I was fostered by an elderly woman Naomi Fletcher. She was patient and kind. She would always try to

talk to me and understand my feelings. She understood that everyday I had to run my energy off before I

settled in for the night, done my homework, ate supper, and went to bed. I can still remember the smell of the

deer roast she used to make in the fall. Now most kids are going to remember the smell of cookies, or

brownies, but not me, I remember deer roast.

My whole life I had always had these vivid dreams. One in particular where I was standing around a

fire with several native americans who were dancing and singing. I also dreamt of talking to my mother. In

my dream I looked exactly like her with my almost white blonde long curly hair, my high cheekbones, and

bright blue eyes. We were both petite, and curvy, with tiny hands. She would always sing to me and run her

fingers through my curls. She told me to always trust my instincts and to go were they guided me, which is

something I have never done to this day.

Then my dreams started getting more weird the older I got. I would wake up and get out of bed, and

look down seeing my own body still asleep. I could go almost anywhere I thought of. A Lot of time I would go

to a small farming village. I occasionally seen a sign that read Jalagihi Hills. Then I would return to my body

and wake up hours later in my bed.I couldn’t make sense of these dreams and never told anyone fearing they

would think I was crazy and try to put me away.

When I started going through puberty a few months after I turned 13 everything changed for me. One

night I was laying in my bed trying to sleep, but I couldn’t help feeling restless. It was like the urge to go

outside and just run was overwhelming me. I didn’t want to bother Naomi because at her age she needed as

much rest as she could get, so I quietly slipped out the door into the backyard, which extended into the

woods. I started sweating and my heart started pounding in my ears. I began running fast, faster than I ever

had before. My eyes were stinging from the sweat that was pouring down into them. I recall the feeling of my bones and skin stretching, and the itching from the fur growing over my body. I stopped and laid down in the

dirt, scared to death, and thinking I was dying. It was so painful I didn’t know what to do. I let out a loud

scream that was mixed with a sort of growl. I must have passed out because when I woke up everything

looked different. I could see everything in the dark just like I did during the day, actually even better. It was

like all of my senses were heightened and on overdrive. I felt strong and agile. I walked over to a pond and

looked down. The image staring back at me was not my creamy skin, long curly light blonde hair, or my pink

full lips. It was a white, blue eyed, mountain lion. At first I jumped thinking I wasn’t looking at myself but

that a mountain lion may have been beside me, but I was wrong it was me. I was terrified. What was

happening to me?

All of a sudden I heard the sound of light footsteps, faint breathing, and a smell, it was something I

couldn’t quite put my finger on, but it smelled delicious. I slowly turned around walking quietly through the

brush. I peeked my head out and seen a deer standing in the clearing. It wasn’t ten feet away. My instincts

took over and before I knew it I was on the back of the deer hanging on with my razor sharp claws and my

powerful jaws were biting down. The deer feel not long after exhausted from the fight. With my powerful jaws

I delivered a death blow to her jugular. The meat was absolutely delicious. I had never tasted anything so

good in my life. When I was finished I pulled the rest of the deer under a bush and covered it with twigs and

dead leaves. I began walking and feeling very tired. I found a mountain and started to climb. Finally I came

upon a small opening in the mountain and scooted myself inside. I laid there wondering if this was going to

be my life. What would Naomi think when she woke up and I wasn’t there? She would be terrified and heart

broken! I slowly drifted off to sleep watching the moon.

The next morning I woke up I was in my bed. I thought it was all a bad dream until I realized that I

was naked and covered in dirt. I quickly threw everything in the washer, showered, and got dressed. This is

how most nights went for the next couple of years. The pain of changing lessened everytime time until it was

completely gone. It was now like a second skin to me. I didn’t let anyone in on my secret, not even Naomi,

fearing she would be scared or disgusted and not want me anymore. She was the closest thing I ever had to a

mother, and the only person who ever showed me any kind of love or affection. I may have had Naomi, but a

piece of me was still missing, and I couldn’t figure it out.

The night of my sixteenth birthday I had been out hunting and running through the mountains. I

came back to the house planning to turn, and as I walked up to the porch were I had left my clothes there

stood Naomi. She didn’t seem scared, or try to run, she just looked at me with love and trust in her eyes.

“Hello Eliza! I thought maybe it was time for you to let me in on your little secret.” she smiled. I told her

everything that night. Not knowing much myself I didn’t know what I was or how I got this way. Naomi told

me that she had known since I was 14.

Naomi told me she had researched everything about what was happening to me. She said it was called

Therianthropy, were a human turns into an animal. Naomi had ordered one of those genealogy test off of the

internet. When it came back it said I was part cherokee and the rest was inconclusive. Naomi and I done

more research on the internet, and at the library before finding out what was happening to me. The change I

was experiencing was because the other half of me they couldn’t identify was called skinwalker. This is why I would shift from human to mountain Lion on a regular basis. We also researched the dreams I was havingand it said that the natives had people who were dreamwalkers. They were able to control their dreams and to go places and talk to people. They were even able to help people through dreamwalking. I wasn’t sure if I was

actually a dreamwalker but it sure as hell sounded like it to me. How was it possible to be both? I wondered.

She said there was tales of more of my kind all over the world, but I needed to go where my instincts pull me,

just like my mother had said in my dream. She said that a skinwalker would search their whole lives for their

mate, and until they found them a part of them would always be missing. She also told me that since I was

separated from my home when I was a baby my instincts would most likely take me back there. She told me

skinwalkers, were very protective over their young and their tribe and wouldn’t have just left me behind. That

something had to have happened to my parents for them to leave me. That’s what's wrong. That's why I feel

incomplete.! I thought, as we continued to talk. We talked all through the night. I was so relieved she knew

my secret, and that she accepted and loved me regardless. I was still very confused about myself and my place

in this world, but with Naomi knowing it helped relieve a lot of what I was going through.

A year later Naomi had planned a trip for us to go to search for more of my kind. She said we would

just get in the car and drive wherever the road took us. She didn’t want me to be lonely anymore. She wanted

me to know who and what I was, and wanted me to felt like I belonged somewhere. I was ecstatic and couldn’t

wait to go, but a week before our trip Naomi had a heart attack and passed away. Naomi left me all she had, I

got her little old house, old pickup truck, all her personal possessions, and her life insurance, which was

150,000 dollars.

I would have gladly gave it all back just to have Naomi. Now I didn’t have anyone. I quickly put the

money in a savings account, vowing not to touch it but for necessities. Now 3 years later and 20,000 dollars

poorer I am still trying to work so I don’t have to spend the money Naomi left me. My life is boring and

unbearable. I work two jobs. One is at the diner and the other is at a gentlemans club waiting tables. The

manager Gary, has tried several times to get me to dance. I refuse to use my body to make money. Naomi

would turn over in her grave, and I could never do something that would make her disappointed in me.