Between The Lines and YOU

Thirty Four

"You're too far, Pria. Come closer." He had been saying that over and over. He claimed I was too far, when in fact, I was already close to falling off this enormous bed because of the space he kept leaving. After dinner, we decided to just rest first and save exploring the entirety of Palace Del Rio for tomorrow. I knew he was also exhausted from driving.

The bed was massive, yet I was suffering for space. How could I possibly move closer to him when I knew my weakness lay beneath that shirt he was wearing? You could not blame me for inching away again and again, trying to put some distance between us. I feared that if I did not, I would completely lose my sanity and forget that he was tired and needed rest.

"I... I'm fine here, Knox." I nearly lost my breath when he suddenly turned to face me.

"You're so distant today. What's wrong with you?" Knox, if only you knew. I should thank the saint that possessed me tonight because my patience and self-control were hanging by a thread. He was far too hard to resist. He was like dessert, so tempting, and then there was his scent. It was my absolute favorite to bury myself in the curve of his neck and... okay, that is enough.

"Let’s sleep now." My voice cracked a little, making me squeeze my eyes shut in embarrassment.

I felt like a robot when he suddenly pulled me into his arms. My face landed straight against his chest so warm. A wide smile spread across my face when I heard how fast his heart was pounding. I closed my eyes and listened, realizing our hearts were beating in sync. I nestled closer and hugged him back, and he pulled the blanket over the both of us. My entire body relaxed when he began stroking my hair with slow, gentle motions.

"Goodnight, Knox," I murmured, already sleepy. Just before I drifted off, I heard his voice.

"Goodnight, baby." Then he pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I fell asleep with a smile stretching across my lips.

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When I woke up, I frowned immediately. Again. This was the second time we had fallen asleep beside each other, and both times I had woken up with him gone. Where had he gone this time? I fixed the bed before heading straight to the bathroom. As soon as I stepped out, my phone rang. Someone was calling. I quickly answered, seeing Ivy’s name flash on the screen, but I had to pull the phone away from my ear the moment I heard her yelling on the other end.

"Ivy, what on earth is your problem?!" I yelled back. Thank goodness Knox was not here. If he heard me shouting like this, he would probably throw a pillow at me.

"You midget! Where the hell are you? Do you even realize we almost reported you missing to the police? Do you know how worried we’ve been?" Midget? As if she were any taller than me. I was actually a few inches taller than her. Still, guilt washed over me. I had not been able to tell them because there was no signal, though I had planned to call.

"Let me talk to her," I heard Kael’s voice on the line.

"Pria? Are you okay? Where are you? Do you want me to come pick you up?" His words made me smile. He never changed, no matter what.

"I’m fine. I’m with Professor Sandoval." There was sudden silence on the other end. Then I heard Asher’s voice arguing with Ivy.

"Hey, birdbrain! We thought you got yourself in trouble again. Don’t you know how to give us a heads-up? Ivy was in tears thinking she failed to look out for you, and here you are enjoying yourself?".My face burned at those last words.

"i***t. What do you mean enjoying myself? There are things I need to think about and deal with. I was going to tell you, but getting signal here is nearly impossible. I’m sorry I made you worry."

How could I explain everything to them? Shane taking me. What she had said about Mom and Dad and my siblings. And most of all, Knox. The truth about what I felt for my professor. I no longer knew where to begin. Sometimes I just wanted to run away from it all.

"You sure you're fine?" This time it was Lyra who spoke.

"Yes, I’m fine. After the weekend I’ll be back right away. I just need to go home for a while. There’s something I want to confirm."

"You have a lot of explaining to do, midget. Be home safe, or I’ll be the one to beat you up." That was Ivy. I even heard her sniffle on the other end. She must have been so worried that she cried like that.

"Stop calling me midget. Are you even taller than me? And quit crying like that. I can already imagine how awful your face looks right now."

Not long after, I said goodbye to them, all four of them. As usual, Ivy had the most nonsense to say. She started off just checking on me, then ended up talking about Freya as if I had been gone for years and was never coming back. And Freya, that one never failed to annoy me every time I was online, always flooding my messenger.

"Who are you talking to?" I turned quickly to Knox, who had just walked in. At least he was decently dressed now. If he had come out still wearing that hot shirt, I would have wrapped him in a blanket like a lumpia roll, just to teach him a lesson.

"My friends. Where have you been?"

"Outside," he answered simply.

"What were you doing out there? Talking again to that woman who looks like a pogo—"

"Stop calling her that, Pria. It’s disrespectful.".I stared at him in disbelief. Was he really defending that woman?

"Disrespectful? What about what you called Carlos and that street food vendor?" His brow arched, clearly displeased by my words, but I did not care. Why was he defending the woman in the lobby?

"That…" He did not finish, rubbing his temple instead. A sudden realization hit me. Were we about to fight again? We had just made peace last night, and now we were back to clashing? It was not my fault. He never clarified things with me. He kept everything to himself. How could I understand him if he never spoke?

"I don’t think this is going to work." It felt as if a needle pierced straight into my heart. Fear swept through me at his words, just like that day I confessed to him.

"What do you mean?" I gathered all my strength and forced myself to meet his eyes.

"I have too much on my plate right now, Pria. I don’t think I can handle this. After breakfast, let’s go home."

Then he walked out of the room, leaving me behind once again. I could not hold it anymore. Tears spilled freely. Did he really think he was the only one carrying heavy burdens? Did he think everything was easy for me, that what I was going through meant nothing? I had even pushed aside the things Shane told me about Mom, Dad, and my siblings, just so I could be happy with him. This was my dream, to be here with him. And now, because of one small misunderstanding, he was ready to give up on me. I sat on the edge of the bed and cried it all out. I did not know how long I stayed like that, or how long he stayed away.

Since we were going home anyway, I decided to make the most of it by wandering around the resort alone. I had not even changed clothes, still in my sleepwear. Before leaving the room, I wrote him a note saying I would be back soon. I ignored the stares from people as I walked through the halls and made my way toward the resort grounds. I had not yet reached the shoreline when I noticed someone leaning against a Range Rover. I chose not to acknowledge her and simply walked past, forcing a bitter smile as I finally caught sight of the ocean.

Children were splashing in the water, people laughing and playing. They all looked so happy. I walked aimlessly until I found myself sitting on a rock. There were fewer people here, the only sound was the crashing waves. Soon, she sat down on the rock beside mine, close enough to hear. I was not surprised. After all she had said, after claiming I was her younger sister, I knew she would keep following me.

"He loves you." My brows furrowed at her words.

"Leave me alone. You will gain nothing from me, because no matter what you do, I still will not go with you."

"I’m not here to force you. Don’t you see? I’m not your enemy. I came here to protect you."

"Why can’t you understand?".My voice cracked, and I felt on the verge of tears again. I felt like I had no one on my side. Even Ivy, my closest friend, was hiding things from me. Kael, Asher, Lyra, I was certain they were hiding things too. It felt as if everyone was making a fool out of me.

On top of that, it hurt even more what Knox was doing to me. At times I could feel his love, yet at other times it felt like he wanted nothing more than to push me away. Why was loving him so difficult? If he would just explain, I could understand.

"You cry because deep down you feel you are not worthy of him. You think others who want him are far better than you, isn’t that right?" Her words tore something inside me, and I broke down completely. The weight in my chest was unbearable, like I could not breathe. I wanted to rip my heart out just to stop the pain. When she pulled me into an embrace, I cried harder, like a child who had finally found someone to confess her pain to.

"I... I don’t know what to do anymore." My voice trembled as I cried.

"Leave this place. Leave him for the meantime. You’re not whole yet, Ace. Let yourself be complete first, only then will you understand him. Prove yourself to him. How can you love him if this is all you are? Weak, tearful, defeated." Her words cut deep, and my tears flowed harder. I wasn’t whole. How could I protect him if I was nothing but this? How could I ever be enough for him when I was weak? It had only been a small argument between us, yet here I was breaking down like this.

"What should I do?" I asked when my sobs had eased a little.

"Come with me."

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I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to Knox when I left with Shane. She told me she would be the one to explain, so I let her. Maybe it was for the best anyway, since Knox seemed to need some time alone. I had done nothing much but still felt drained, even though I had eaten so much. Before we left, Shane had let me eat as much as I wanted, and I poured all my pain and sorrow into the food.

Truthfully, I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave Knox. Despite what he had said, I still wanted to stay. But Shane was right. If I remained this way, I would be a loser for life, weak, tearful, unworthy. I could never be enough for him if I didn’t become whole on my own. I changed into a hoodie jacket and shorts. Luckily, Shane had brought spare clothes.

"What’s the first thing you want to do?" She asked, eyes fixed on the road.

"I want to go home first." I wanted to confirm what she had told me about Mom and Dad. Fear coiled in me, yet there was still a tiny hope that her words weren’t true. It was hard to believe that for nearly twenty three years, they had only been using me. That the family I dreamed of lifting from poverty had been exploiting me all along.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head slowly. "They won’t hurt me, will they?"

"They already know, Ace. They know I’ve found you. You don’t really know them yet. If you return alone, they could lock you up again. Hide you." I heard the mix of fear and worry in her voice.

"You won’t abandon me, right?" I gave her a faint smile. She froze at my words, maybe surprised that I already trusted her. Whether I admitted it or not, there was something about her that felt safe. She nodded and smiled back at me.

The trip was long, and I fell asleep. We had left in the morning, but by the time we arrived at the bus terminal, it was already afternoon. She still wanted to escort me directly home, but I stopped her. I promised to be careful and to call her immediately if things went wrong. Just as I was about to get off, she stopped me.

"What is it?" I asked.

She handed me a gray watch. It looked expensive, slim, even customized. My eyes widened when I saw my name engraved on the back. But instead of Dawn, the last name was Filmore.

"There’s a tracker inside this watch. There’s also a button on the left side. You can press it secretly if you know something bad is about to happen. Even if I’m far away, someone will come to save you. Promise me, Ace, promise me you’ll stay safe. We cannot bear to lose you again.".I nodded, smiling faintly, and let her fasten the watch around my wrist. Afterward, she embraced me. I hugged her back before stepping away, telling her I’d be back by Monday.

I quickly boarded the bus, a strange awareness prickling at me as if several pairs of eyes were fixed on me. I brushed it off and searched for a seat by the window. As I settled in, my gaze fell on the woman sitting across the aisle. It seemed like she was staring at me. She wore a cap and a mask, making it impossible to see her face. To my surprise, she suddenly stood and moved to the empty seat beside me. Maybe she was just some weirdo with nothing better to do. I shifted closer to the window, but my body stiffened when I felt something sharp press against my side. A knife. Despite the fear and panic rising inside me, a small laugh escaped my lips. If I died now, what would I really lose?

"You gotta be kiddin’ me. What’s funny, freak?" I froze at the sound of that familiar voice.

"Aria?" I could feel her hesitation, shocked that I had recognized her so quickly. She pulled the small knife away and tucked it out of sight.

"Damn, that was fast." She removed her cap and mask completely.

"Where's Weston?" I asked.

"He’s injured from minding your hella business. Wait… aren’t you afraid?"

"Afraid of what?"

"I could kill you right here and leave without a trace, you know." Her words rolled out as if it were nothing.

"Have you become so desperate that you’ve resorted to this kind of work?" I asked instead, and I saw her expression instantly darken.

"Be thankful there are towering walls protecting you, because if it were up to me, you would’ve been a cold corpse a long time ago. Poor thing, you have no idea what’s really happening." Her words made my fists clench. I wanted to grab her by the throat, but she was right. I had no idea what was truly going on. Who would have thought that these two beautiful friends carried such malicious secrets? Back when I first met them at Wintersea, and later when they suddenly appeared at V.C.U., I hadn’t sensed anything strange at all. I had to admit, that was impressive.

"You’re not here to kill me, are you? Just tell me what you want and let’s end this."

"For a girl like you, you sure have a sharp tongue. Makes me want to tear it out and drop it in my lemonade." A chill ran through me at her words, but I forced myself not to show it.

"How pathetic. You can’t do what you want because you’re nothing but a puppet with strings tied to your neck. You can’t kill me, Aria. You just can’t." I saw my words hit her, saw her expression grow darker as her fist tightened.

"Let’s test your bravery then. Let’s see if you can still hide that fear when you finally learn the whole truth." She flashed me a threatening smile before standing and stepping off the bus. My eyes immediately caught the slip of paper she had left behind on her seat. Written on it was an address, and beneath it the words:

'It is time for you to know the truth, my child.'