Love at the Fair

Lesson and Lies

Blake

I walked back to my room and paced for a bit questioning why I just walked away just now and didn’t grab her and kiss the life out of her.

I closed my eyes ran my fingers through my hair and paced and got angry at myself again. I’ve been struggling hard with panic attacks and anxiety lately but bringing this up to my family or friends they all laugh at people who have issues and mock them endlessly. I’ve personally done it myself because I’ve always thought people who claim they have those issues were making them up to get out of doing things, but there’s no other explanation for why my mind body or life is acting out of sync.

I did the only logical adult thing I knew how to do and sought medical help and got with a therapist over down time for the season.

Even explaining my issues the doctor wanted me to do therapy before prescribing a daily medication. I just wanted some sense of relief and all this frustration to go somewhere other then physically violent. Empty s*x wasn't cutting it for me lately; one night stands and pointless conversations with a therapist was infuriating. The therapist kept saying anxiety don't just poof show up and I kept explaining I've never had these issues before why all of a sudden, I haven't been back to the therapist needless to say why would someone just not listen if that's literally their whole job.

I picked my phone up two or three times began typing out a text to Ris and put my phone back down I don't want to come off desperate and needy, its more exhausting trying to make small talk then i thought but she so calm in my presence and I don't feel like knocking peoples heads off for talking to me when shes around. I pace a little longer and decided to jump in the shower again and get into my zone I've been teaching myself to keep calm. the minute the warm water hit my body her scent invaded my imagination and I started picturing her hair falling down her back and her deep purple eyes seeping into my soul. I sighed and was rock hard at the mere thought of her, I grabbed my girth in my hands and kept the fantasy going as I moved down her face to her gorgeous full lips waiting for me to devour them, I pumped a slow steady pace on my self and imagined her small slim figure in my arms and imagined what was under all those layers she covers herself with. I pumped faster in my hand and had her round bottom in my arms and how soft it felt and wondered if all her body was that soft I lost myself quicker then I thought I would and placed my head against my shower wall releasing myself all over the floor . I've barely gotten to know the girl and she's the only thing that invades my head space lately what is wrong with me. I feel like a drug addict looking for its next fix seeking her out her presence her smell.

I stepped out of my shower wrapped a clean towel around my body and chucked a handful of my laundry into my washing machine I occupied my brain space with maniacal task and chores setting my house together for traveling tomorrow so I didn't have to worry about it in the morning. I finally got tired enough to lay down around 4am and passed out for my usual 2 hour nap before getting up and working out and heading out for the week.

I woke up in a sweat and knew instantly I over slept, it's very rare I sleep that hard to begin with but hear my dad already loading trucks for take off was unsettling. I jumped out of bed grabbed my short and shirt from the dryer and dropping the twel from my waste, apparently I needed that sleep; I slept in my shower towel. I pushed the button to start rolling in my over hands and slide outs and stepped out of my house. I grabbed my picnic table and roll cloth and shoved them in there cubbies and headed for my lead line and water lines. I stopped dead in my tracks and waited for my slide outs to finish and turned the breaker off on my house before pulling power and water lines. Such a mindless task but it has to be done. I walked around the corner of my house and Clarissa was already unhooking my water lines and rolling them up and had all her lines and wires rolled waiting to be lifted and loaded inter her cubbies. I walked over like it was second nature put her wires and hose into the cubby slid the door on and latched it and unhooked her steps and loaded them into there spot. I walked back to my house and she had my power cords and water hose sitting next to there spot ready to be loaded. I enjoyed watching someone work without much direction it was such a nice change it was so second nature for her she headed to Tony's house and started breaking down her stuff to load up next. I tossed the last of my stuff into my bottom cubbies latched and grabbed my truck that pulls my house.

I finished lining everything up that was being drove today and I knew Mellow and Granny Gene were driving there first loads today and wanted something smaller to drive in case they got into a situation and needed to stop. Granny was simply because this was a new show and she hasn't driven our vehicle's yet and Mellows never actually been offered a chance to drive for us she usually drives the crew.

I found all the drivers and made sure everyone was in a vehicle they could handle and noticed that my dad put Clarissa in my truck to pull my house trailer and she looked so dam tiny in my big dooley truck. She was bouincing up and down on my seat when I walked up to her and she smiled the biggest cheesy smile Id seen on her face yet

I got your truck, she said mocking me in a teasing manor.

Are you sassing me Ris?

She blushed and looked down and I knew I had to take being inane with her cautiously, she still wasn't sure how to handle my wit.

I personally have a demanding personality I'm so use to getting my way that having a female cringe in my general conversation meant maybe I was taking it a little to far. I smiled at her to ease her mind and replied

sorry Ris guess were not ready for that type of fun yet ,she blushed even deeper if that was possible.

I walked back to my semi and started my engine all CB radios were turned to channel 19 and every driver got lined up to follow my dad out the driveway. Tony always brings up the rear as last vehicle I followed directly behind Ris who had Mellow in front of her driving her house and the Candy Booth trailer.

The four hour drive we didn't stop once because we fueled all the trucks last night and the ladies all bathroom break before leaving, didn't stop them all from bailing from trucks once we arrived and beelining for the porter jons i had a good chuckle at that. My dad unhooked all the rides in the field and helped me spot them where they work best spent the better part of two hours helping me set them all how we wanted them and he called the committee to get conformation the lay out would work. They arrived about an hour after his call and walked the midway with us to make sure everything was good for them and they approved the lay out.

Listen Blake this is your first solo of the season you'll be fine you've done these a few times and Tony's here to help with anything you need you got this ok,

I shook my dads hand and walked him to the rig and asked him one more time are you sure you don't want to switch and I stay with mom.

Your fine son you've done this a million times its second nature at this point and if you f**k up you'll never go solo again.

Sheesh what a vote of confidence there dad I've done this spot solo for 5 years now why all of a sudden does he have no faith in me, this is the s**t that gets my anxiety going him second guessing my every move. I let it go smiled at him and said got it dad no worries.

I walked over to my house to start setting it up and seen that Clarissa already had my house together for me and my front area set up and hers was already put together and running as well. I walked inside my house and turned my breakers on and pushed my switches to unroll my awnings and slide outs. I walked over to Tony's house and she was already set up sitting out front with Uncle Charles and making list of supplies she was going to have to run and get.

Don't let me forget cornmeal for the corn dogs I'm sure we have plenty but last year I ran out last day of everything Im hoping for a repeat.

Charlie was hmm hmm to her while she was talking out loud to herself more or less and he was reading his paper.

There he is Hey big guy you get the midway lined up Clarissa ready to set the dam midway up already she did all the bunks while everyone was out eating or running to do laundry she crazy fast dude. Uncle Charles said as I approached

She hasn't eaten yet or done laundry I asked both Tony and Charles shook there heads no.

She works me under the table man she's quick, shows what kind of work ethic she's had to deal with most of her life.

I walked up to her door and knocked and waited to hear her soft foot steps cross her room to open the door but didnt hear them I knocked again still nothing. She must of left with the crew and Tony and Charlie didnt notice. I headed back to my house and noticed her running on the midway heading towards the food trailers. I decided to intercept her in the golf cart and force her to go eat and the store with me, I enjoyed her company.

I jumped on my golf cart and cut her off midway down the path she was taking

Hey gorgeous where you off too?

She jumped a few feet in the air and stopped in her track, Crap on a cracker dangit Blake why the hell would you scare me like that? she was breathing heavy and doubled over as her heart raced at being scared.

Sorry Ris, umm you need to eat and wanna go to the store with me so I can grab some stuff for the week?

She side eyed me suspiciously and decided it was best to just go with it, Can I ask you something first cause its been eating at me all night?

Yea go ahead

What happened last night I thought we had a good time I know I shut down a moment over getting loud but I told you why I didn't keep it in I had a really great time then we get back you barely squeezed my hand and you walked away without so much a good night or text are you not interested cause if that's the case please just tell me now so I dont put myself into yo...

I stood up grabbed her by waste and kissed the lips of been dreaming about for days to calm her down, she lifted to her tippy toes to reach me and i grabbed her under her butt and lifted her closer to my body she wrapped her legs around me and breathed a sigh of relief. I growled into her mouth and wanted more, but gently set her back down and stepped back

I'm defiantly interested I almost cant stop myself around you.

She blushed

Your a communicate with words type of girl

Yea why keep it in it will eat you alive and cause stress you really don't need

Then truth be told I got anxious Ris and wasn't sure how to end the date last night I paced all night thinking I just ruined it with you

I seen the anxiousness leave her shoulders immediately she reached up wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down for another kiss which I happily obliged.

I learned really quickly I can talk to her and not feel judged I'm defiantly falling hard and fast for this girl and I am not mad about it at all.

She says to me as she heading to my golf cart you sir are fast becoming my favorite person and we need to be more open and honest with each other and just straight up respect each other its the only way this will work between us.

Dam she already making decisions for me, and I kind of like it.