Royal Arrangement

XVII

Annie

"We need to talk."

I slam the door behind me. Daniel sighs as he sits down on the edge of the bed. He runs his fingers through his dark hair and stares up at the ceiling. Daniel is usually the epitome of calm, but right now he looks beyond stressed. His right knee bounces up and down on the floor and he takes a deep breath.

Once I heard that he punched William in the face hard enough to send him flying off his horse, I quickly apologized to the queen and practically dragged him back into our suite. It's clear we've got a lot to talk about. I promised myself that I'd tell Daniel how I feel and tonight, I'm going to do it.

I'm also going to confront him about Vanessa and now his recent assault on one of the few friends I have in the palace.

Daniel licks his bottom lip, it's a nervous tick of his that I've come to recognize. "Annie, do we have to do this right now?" He practically groans. "So I hit Lord whatever his name is. It doesn't really matter."

I cross my arms over my chest. "Doesn't matter? Daniel, you knocked him off his horse! I'd say that matters!"

He groans again. "Come on. Can't we talk about this tomorrow?" Then he looks at me with a devilish glint in his eyes. "I'm sure there are better things we could be doing right now?" Daniel slowly gets up from the bed and I take a physical step back and shake my head at him.

Damn him, he's too distracting.

Daniel frowns. "I guess we're going to talk about this then."

I nod. "Damn right, we are. You hit someone, Daniel!"

He chuckles. "You sound like my mother, except not really since she practically did the same thing."

I can't help but smile at that. "Why did you punch William?"

Daniel closes his eyes and rubs the back of his neck. "I told you, I'm not entirely sure. It just... happened."

"What do you mean it just happened? Did he say anything? Did he hit you first?" Dang. I feel like I'm interviewing a kindergartener. This is not how I expected this conversation to go.

"We were talking and he said he knew about our arrangement and then the next thing I know... he's on his ass." Daniel looks away from me and I can feel my eyes widen. "What?" He asks impatiently.

"Oh my gosh. You're lying right now." He's lying to me. There's more to the story, but he's holding it back. "Why aren't you telling me the truth?"

"Annie."

I can't believe it. Daniel is lying. "No. Tell me."

"Little American... I'm warning you..."

"Tell me the truth, Daniel."

"Drop it! We aren't talking about this anymore!" He gets up and bellows. "That's final."

I shake my head and poke him in the chest. "No, I don't think it is. I demand to know the truth-- the whole truth-- and not just for this."

Daniel raises a brow. "What are you talking about?"

"Vanessa. She told me what happened."

Then, something odd happens. Daniel's eyes widen and his face flushes as white as a ghost. He drops down limply back on the bed and sits with his face in his hands. "No. This can't be happening."

"She told me everything, Daniel."

Daniel sits there in silence for a few moments. I walk up to him and reach my hand out to touch his face when he suddenly jumps back up so he's standing before me Daniel locks his fingers onto my shoulder and digs into them. "She's lying. Nothing she said was true. You have to know that, Annie." He locks his panicked eyes on to mine. "You have to believe that."

"What are you talking about?" I reach up and pry his fingers from my arms because at this point, they're starting to hurt. I've never seen him this worked up. "Daniel, I'm not stupid. I know she's lying."

Every muscle in his body goes slack and he lets out a long breath. He looks so hopeful, but he doesn't say a word. For a few moments, I'm confused. Then, it hits me.

He's been worried. Daniel has been worried that if I found out about Vanessa that I'd leave him. That thought makes me smile. He hasn't been keeping me in the dark to be selfish, he was trying to prevent my from finding out because he thought I'd be foolish enough to believe her.

I can't help but let out a laugh. Daniel raises a brow and tilts his head to the side and for a moment, he reminds me of Baxter. He stares at me with a questioning look on his face until I answer him.

"Daniel, how stupid do you think I am? Do you think I have such little faith in you?"

He looks sheepish. "I... Of course you aren't stupid."

I smile and place my hand on his cheek. "You dummy."

Daniel frowns.

"Of course, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I don't like this secrecy..." I take a step closer and run my thumb over his cheek. "You're going to have to tell me the truth."

He searches my eyes for a moment and then nods. "Okay."

I smile up at him reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere, Daniel. Nothing you say about this could possibly drive me away."

The corner of his lip tilts up in a small smile and he nods again. "I'll tell you the truth. I'll tell you what really happened."

I nod once more and take his hand in my own. I lead him to the bed and sit down so I'm facing him. I'm so eager for the truth, and it must definitely show on my face because Daniel smiles a little and rolls his eyes. "You Americans and your drama."

"Hey," I huff. "There's nothing wrong with that, and it isn't the drama I'm after. This secret has been in between us since this whole thing started. We can't move forward with it in the way, it's time to tell me why you get visibly angry when I so much as mention her name." I stroke the back of his hand with my palm. "That isn't healthy behavior."

He takes a deep breath and then nods. "You're right." Then he begins. "Vanessa and I weren't in a traditional relationship like the media portrayed. She was my submissive, I was her dominant. There was no romance involved, it was just s*x, nothing more. A pre-agreed upon contractual engagement." He laughs bitterly. "More along the lines of a business arrangement if you must. I can practically see the gears turning in your curious head, Little American." Daniel grins. "It's a lot like what we have."

Ouch. That stings.

Before I can visibly react to that heartbreaking statement, he continues on.

"At first, things were working out perfectly. She was a masochist… loved pain… and I a sadist, so you can see how we fit together well. The stipulations of our deal were that, in order to evade suspicion of our proclivities, we would pretend to see each other romantically in the public eye-- Her idea of course. I should've known better. Looking back on it now, I realize what an i***t I was."

He laughs dryly.

"She was greedy. Always wanted more. When we were in public she wanted affection, when we were alone she more than just s*x, she wanted a real relationship- something I wasn't willing to give."

I nod, keeping my cool demeanor even though inside I'm freaking out. This sounds oddly familiar, much like our current situation. I don't like it.

"Of course, I wasn't having it. I told her we could only play, I said I would never love her, I would never be her boyfriend, or her fiancé, or her husband for f**k's sake, but she wouldn't have it." Daniel rests his head in his hands and sighs. "She grew angry. One night when she was playing she told me she wanted it harder than ever before. Of course, I was skeptical. Sure, she was a masochist, but we had never done anything that was too extreme."

Daniel's body tenses. "I remember it all so clearly, she kept asking me to hit her, and so I did. I complied with her request and brought the whip down again and again on her back. At the time, she loved it, even told me so." Daniel rolls his shoulders back. "Her back showed my marks when I was done. I was proud. Her body was my canvas..." He groans. "I know it's f****d up but that was my mindset at the time."

I nod. It is messed up, but he doesn't need to hear that right now. Instead, I grab his hand in my own and squeeze it. "What happened next."

"She said she loved me. She told me she proved herself, she said only someone insane would go through what she just did for me. She demanded a commitment, manipulated me, she wanted me to tell her something that just wasn't true. I didn't love her and that made her angry."

Daniel looks at me and I can see fire blazing in his eyes. "She threatened me. Said if I didn't marry her that she'd go to the police and claim I abused her. I'm sure you're well aware of the choice I made. She went to the police. Filed a report. It went viral." His brows furrow. "The only reason I'm not in jail is because The Crown paid her off to drop the charges. It seems she was only after the money."

I sigh. "Daniel..."

He gets up and walks over to the window. I don't follow him, I know he needs his space. He rests his hand on the windowsill and stares out in silence for a moment. I just sit there, collecting my thoughts. It's just as I suspected, Vanessa was lying. I knew Daniel wasn't abusive, it isn't in his nature. I feel better, like a large weight has been lifted off my chest. Of course, the weight was no where near equal the weight of what I'm about to say. I'm going to tell him. I have to tell Daniel how I feel. If not for me, than for the sake of what we're about to do. I'm not pregnant yet, but I know that it could happen at any time and I don't want this baby to grow up the product of a stupid contract. I want them to be born into a loving household.

"I'm sorry." I say. "I'm sorry she did that to you, It isn't fair."

He nods once, not saying a word. I can tell that he's clearly lost in thought. What I wouldn't give to know what he's thinking.

"It's in the past." Daniel expresses on a lengthy sigh. "I suppose it's something I'm going to have to get over."

"No, you deserve to be angry over this. She's a horrible person. You can't make someone love you." I nearly choke on the last part because of how much it hits home. I can't make Daniel feel the same, I can only hope that he reacts well to what I'm about to say.

Suddenly, my throat feels dry. My heart starts to race a thousand beats a minute. I wipe my palms on my blush dress because they've since begun to sweat. I take a deep breath and open my mouth. "Daniel, I have to tell you something."

He stares out the window for a few more seconds before turning around with a look on his face that I can only describe as questionable worry. He stares down at me and it's like I'm standing in front of Principal Meyers back in the sixth grade when I stuck gum in Betty Lind's ponytail. All words have escaped me. It's as if I've forgotten nearly all of the English language.

"What?"

I clear my throat and in a nearly indistinguishable voice, of a single breath, I quickly blurt out, "I love you!"

Daniel shakes his head as if he doesn't understand. "Huh?"

I bite down on my lower lip and twist up the fabric of my dress in my hand. I can't remember a time when I've been this nervous. In all my life, I don't think I've ever felt this anxious. "Daniel... I.... I don't know when it happened. I tried to stop it, but I can't fight my feelings anymore."

His eyes widen. "Annie-"

"I love you."

Daniel takes a step back, holding his hand out to me like I'm some kind of scared animal, not someone confessing feelings of love. "Now, wait a minute here, you don't mean that..."

I sit up straight and unfurl the fabric of my dress from the death grip my fingers had on it. "No, I do. I mean every word. You're a selfish, rude, asshole, but Dammit, I love you! I'm not sure when, or how, but I do. I love going to bed beside you and waking up with your arms around me every morning. I love seeing you smile because I know how rare it is. I love how you make me feel when you kiss me or even that tingle of anticipation I feel when you warn me about stupid things I do. I can deal with your dominance. I didn't think I would, but I love you just as you are. Even though the ring is much too large and I'm nowhere near suited to the title, I love being your wife, Daniel." The more I talk about him, the more I smile, until I finish, staring at him with a hopeful grin.

If his face wasn't pale then, it's practically devoid of color now. His once tan skin now gives the royal sheets a run for their money. Daniel physically cringes. He's quiet, and looks at me with a pained expression on his face. I feel my smile slip with every silent second that ticks until It falls completely.

"Daniel." Even I can hear the agony in my voice, it's a vocalization of my heart shattering.

A look that pains me to name as pity takes over his handsome features. "I... I don't know what you want me to say here."

"Anything." I whisper. "I know this wasn't part of the plan, but--"

"Wasn't part of the plan?" Daniel echoes, interrupting me. "Of course it wasn't part of the plan! Dammit, Annie, this was never supposed to happen!"

I swallow the lump in my throat. "I know, trust me I know that, I--"

"I specifically told you this couldn't happen! I told you not to fall in love with me! I don't do love, I don't do romance, that's not the kind of guy I am!" He interrupts once more, his voice raising in volume. Daniel runs his hands through the front of his hair, it's a nervous tick that I've witnessed him do on more than one occasion.

"I don't think that's true. I've seen it, I know even if you won't admit it to yourself, you love me too." I don't mean for it, but my voice sound pleading. "Daniel, please... I know you--"

"You don't know me!" He bellows. "You don't know anything about me! I told you all this in advance, don't blame your lapse of judgement on me. I warned you not to do this and what do you do? You go ahead and do it anyway! I don't love you. I never have, and I never will. How can I? You know nothing about me, and I don't want to know anything about you. We're just two people who are part of a contract. That's all this is, and it's all it will ever be." Daniel ends his rant by letting out a puff of air from his nose, comparable how a volcano steams after's it has erupted.

There are cinematic moments where time physically stops. The camera zooms in on the actor or actress's face in slow motion as we watch them crumble into a thousand pieces. This trick is typically used during the climax of the film, when the two main leads have the fight that tears them apart, leaving them to go their separate ways. As the audience, you can feel their pain, maybe you think "wow, that's horrible, I can't even imagine it" or maybe you're crying, an empathetic reaction to show them you understand how they feel, but you're feeling something. It's a perfect moment, the lead is heartbroken, sometimes they're standing in the rain, the water pouring down their face, hiding their tears.

Yes, those moments are perfect, and they used to be my favorite part of the movie. I was never really one for a happy ending--It was the raw, human, emotion that I loved to see.

Well, in this moment, two things have occurred to me as I feel the moisture well up in my eyes: (1), I am no longer a fan of that part of a film, the part I used to hail as being cinematically perfect, and (2), there's no rain to hide my tears.

Usually, I'd turn away, or angrily wipe them from my face, but not this time. Instead, I stare at Daniel as I feel the first tear stream down my right cheek. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I have no words. Even though it's my heart that is broken... I feel broken. Daniel has broken me.

His face softens. "Little American... I--"

"Don't." I hold up my hand when he starts walking towards me. The parallel of this action to earlier is not lost on me. "Don't call me that."

He goes to open his mouth but I interrupt him, not caring what he's about to say. "I don't want to hear whatever you are about to tell me. I don't want to listen to your rationalizations or your fake apologies. You spoke your mind and that's all I can ask for."

"Annie..."

I shake my head and walk towards him. There's a look of surprise and then hope before it's dashed as I walk past him into the living area. "There's nothing more to say, you've given your two cents... and I've given mine."

"Annie... I don't know what you want from me. I wish I could give you what you want but... I can't."

Hot rage sizzles inside me and fills the cracks of my broken heart like plaster fills a mold. I whip around and face him, seething with rage and frustration. "Can't? Or won't? You and I both know you're too afraid. You've chosen to be a coward instead of facing what you're feeling and I deserve better than someone who refuses to do even that." I turn away from him and the tears fall again, this time they're an agonizing cocktail of pain and anger manifesting itself as they fall from my eyes.

"Little American..." I hear him sigh the nickname that used to send my stomach a flutter in a single, drawn out breath. Now, it only serves to shatter my heart even more than it already is.

I don't turn around. I wipe my cheeks with my fingers and sniffle before straightening my spine and speaking in as professionally calm of a voice that I can muster. "I think it would be best if you called me by my given name. I would also like to request that you give me some space, Your Highness. I'll be over this lapse of judgement in the morning."

I hear him suck in a breath and take a step forward, but my spine flinches and he sighs again before I hear his footsteps leaving the room. "I suppose I shall see you in the morning, then." He says.

I nod. "Yes." I choke out even though it's a lie. I'll be gone by the morning.

I hear his footsteps fading. I cover my mouth with my hand and crumple to the floor. My knees buckle and I lay in a heap on the expensive marble floor while everything falls apart beside me. I don't do anything to stop it; I let the tears flow. I let out wails and cries than can only be described as pure grief. I'm grieving. I've lost the love of my life and what's worse is not that he doesn't love me, but it's that he does and refuses to admit it. My heart is broken and I'm left picking up the pieces by myself.

I'm not sure how long I spend on the floor, but I eventually make it back into the bedroom. I reach under the bed we used to share and pull out the original small blue suitcase I shoved under there months ago. Inside are all my civilian clothes from before this mess started. The New York Yankees t-shirt only makes me cry harder.

I sob as I take off the expensive blush dress that is so unlike myself that it makes me pause as I stand there, holding it out in front of me. It's something I'd never normally wear, and yet, just a few minutes ago it was hugging my body like a second skin. With a sound of disgust, I toss it across the room and it falls into a beautiful puddle in the corner. I practically rip the diamond necklace from around my neck along with the expensive earrings, tossing them alongside the dress I'll never wear again. I wrench and pluck the pins out of my hair and the intricate up do falls around my shoulders. I don't even bother picking them up, I leave them around my feet as I lean down and unbuckle the heels from around my ankles. I step out and leave them beside the bed, where I was once standing.

Slipping back into my t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers feels like a cathartic release. I pull on a dark sweatshirt and zip up my suitcase before practically running into the suite bathroom to scrub the makeup that suddenly feels suffocating off of my face. I stare in the mirror and feel like myself for the first time in months.

There's only one thing left to do. I pick up the phone and dial the number that I put in there a few months ago. It rings and then the person on the other end. "Hello?"

"William?"

"Annie?" He sounds shocked, no doubt confused as to why I'm calling him right after my husband knocked him off his high horse--literally. "What's wrong?"

I swallow the saliva in my throat. "I-uh-I need your help. I need to get out of the palace. Tonight. Think you can do that?"

There's a small pause and then a sigh. "Of course."

"Thank you, William. You don't understand how much this means to me and please, don't tell Daniel. I need to leave without him knowing."

I need to be on a plane back to The States by the time he realizes I've left. After hearing the arrangements with William, I hang up the phone and make sure I have everything with me. Then, I pick up a pen and start to write the final words I have to say to my former husband.

By the time he reads this note, I'll be sitting in an airline seat and he won't ever have to worry about me again.

After that, I let my family know that I'm coming home for a surprise visit.

The trip to the airport goes by in a blur. I numbly transfer from the front seat of William's car to the waiting room seat, to the airplane seat without really knowing what's going on around me. Before William left me with a hug I vaguely remember him slipping a black ballcap on my head, pushing Baxter into my arms, and telling me to call him, but it's fuzzy. I stare out of the window of the plane as it takes off and watch the rolling hills of Verilia become the dark blue sea and eventually the lights of New York City welcoming me home.

The plane lands and Baxter whimpers, the pressure hurting his little ears. I put him on the head and reassure him that everything is going to be okay even though I know it won't be. I grab my luggage and before I know it, I'm knocking on the door of my childhood NYC brownstone that's been in our family for generations. My mother smiles widely before seeing my face. Her smile falls and I see her mouth move to make the words 'what's wrong' before I shatter apart and fall into her arms, a princess who has lost her tiara.

TO BE CONTINUED...