Of the Law
1024 Words
It was, unsurprisingly, Officer Swetland. "Cammie. Ajax."
"I'm Sampson." Ajax said.
"Uh huh. Who always knows how to tell you apart?" the officer asked. "So, is this something I need to radio the sheriff to resolve?"
"I've done nothing wrong." Cammie said. "I just wanted to point out that camera there is still recording."
Harold had never heard Swetland swear before.
"Okay, I got this." he said. "Everyone go home. Now. By separate routes."
Slayer of Men deflated, shrank in on itself.
"Hey, I have amnesia of everything up until about four years ago. I'm doing amazing for as little time as I have."
"Uh, I know they're important to Catholics. I'm not sure if I still qualify."
Slayer sent.
"I think I'm more spiritual than religious." Harold said.
"I... I don't know what that is."
"Wait. Are you cursed?"
"Uhm. Okay. So about sword fighting... where do I even learn that?"
"Okay, give me a moment." Harold checked his phone. "Huh, there's a place in Vancouver."
"That's in Canada." Harold said. "Over two thousand miles away."
"Guns." Harold said.
"Actually, there has been quite a bit of progress with guns." Harold said. "They're different than the ones you're thinking of."
Slayer of Men said.
"Well, if you're that old, you must have some idea how new students are taught."
"Yeah, not going to argue that it makes you easy to carry around, but... it's really inconvenient when I get attacked."
"By something that can rip apart concrete with its bare hands? Yeah, I felt fear."
A long mental sigh.
"But those are bad qualities, aren't they?"
"No, of course I'm not." Harold said. "But I don't want to be killing people in parking lots, either."
There was a tap on his window, and Harold jumped. Rather than turn on the engine just to roll the windows down, he opened the door. "Officer Swetland?"
"Mister Leightner, I'm prepared to help fill out your paperwork for a hit and run accident. Unless you were planning on an alternate statement?"
"Alternate... No, no, I think I'll avoid telling them a giant kicked my car."
Swetland smiled. "Ajax and his brother Sampson are ogres. Neither of us wants you tangling with a giant."
"No, no. I suppose not."
Over the next forty five minutes, they waited for a wrecker to come haul Bianca (his Prius) to Russel's Auto Works.
Officer Swetland had a short (and so near as Harold could tell, one sided) conversation with the security camera, then with the door of the hardware store, which opened for him. He spent less than twenty minutes inside, and came out with a broad smile on his face. "I love that not everything I do has to be hard." he said.
"Officer Swetland? I have a question."
"Only one?"
"What bloodline are ogres and whatever Cammie is?"
"Do I need to run a breathalizer on you? How is THAT your question?"
"My sword wants to know."
"Axaj and Sampson are Mycenean, one of the ancient world countries that no longer exists. Cammie... I honestly think she's French, but I wouldn't put it past her to be some other lineage and lying about it. She's older than all of us put together, there may not be anyone who remembers."
"Wait, I thought lineages were things like god names."
"Mister Leightner, I am not a history teacher. I could tell you that every myth is literally true, even those that contradict each other. Personally, just go home, hug your dog, and maybe get yourself a gun."
"Oh hush, Slayer. Guns work now. Get over it."
Officer Swetland cleared his throat. "Your sword is Slayer? Not what I would have expected you to name it."
"Slayer of Men. Came to me with that name."
Any trace of humanity deserted Officer Swetland at that time. "Mister Leightner, I think you should get an Uber home."
And Harold did, and kept the rest of his questions to himself.
- Writer
