Eloise

The will to live.

3.

I promised him I’d find his daughter. What the hell was I thinking? I had no lead on how to find Maggie. I can’t even find my socks when I lose them. How the hell am I gonna find a child!

I got home feeling so angry at myself. I’d never had an outpour of such a strong emotion especially for someone else. I was tired. I closed my eyes and I had the same dream.

I was walking along an empty road, hearing voices in houses with blood stained walls. Then I heard Maggie’s voice. Suddenly I was falling. I fell into the same pit and as I turned I saw Maggie. This time it wasn’t her head. It was Maggie, complete Maggie. I closed my eyes and opened them after a second and she was gone.

“Maggie!” I called out to her.

“Maggie!”

“I’m over here” she said.

I looked up. She was above the pit. She grabbed my hand and helped me out.

“Maggie everyone’s worried about you. You need to come home”

“I can’t”

She said she can’t? Or she didn’t want to. But why? Her face had gotten suddenly old, she had developed a few wrinkles and eye bags but she was still Maggie.

“Why?” I asked.

“It will kill me”

With that statement she sunk into the ground. I started screaming. I was terrified! I closed my eyes and tried to wake up but I couldn’t. I was stuck in the dream. I hit myself several times but I still didn’t wake up. I started hitting the spot where Maggie sunk into. I knew it was pointless but I had to try. Suddenly I felt a strong presence. Thick and suffocating. Dark and evil. Then I sunk into the ground too.

I think I must have passed out. Yes. I fainted. When I regained consciousness Maggie was there. Staring at me. As soon as I got up she said “Come let me show you the others”.

The others? What others? The other missing children? Before I could get a hold of myself Maggie was gone again. I could only hear her echoing voice say “Come!”. I followed calling out to her softly “Maggie?”.

After walking in an underground slimy tunnel for what seemed like an eternity the tunnel finally ended. Yes, a dead end. Did I make a wrong turn?

“I’m here” I could here Maggie’s voice on the other side. How? She kept calling out to me and telling me to come. But how? I really needed to get to her. As I touched the wall again my hand went right through.

“What the…”

I touched it again and my hand went right through.

“Okay this is a dream. It’s just a dream”

“Miss Eloise are you coming?”

Of course. I pushed my whole body through the wall and what I saw next was just unbelievable. Right there on the other side of the wall was every single child that had been reported missing. They all looked old.

“How and why are these terrified children in my dream?”

Then I heard it. A voice from a dark cloud. “Because I brought them here, just as I brought you”.

I could see the terrified look on the children's faces. I was terrified too.

“Who is there?” I summoned the courage to ask.

“I’m just like you Eloise, just someone trying to find a reason to live.”

Just like me huh. I don’t even have the will or desire to live. And how did this thing know my name?

It continued, “I’m not a person, I’m an abomination. But abominations have desires too. We have emotions too you know. We have desires as dark as our presence and as bright as the light in the world you come from”.

“Why did you take these innocent children?”

“For company of course. It gets a little lonely down here you know. And I heard children are the best company”

“But I’m not a child so why me too?”

“Well Miss Eloise as I said earlier you are just like me. I thought, why not get someone who thinks like me for a change.”

“I’m a person. I’m not like you. How did you get these children?”

“Oh Eloise, you’re hurting my feelings. Denying your sour self now ai? Well I get them through their dreams. Scared little creatures. I give them nightmares and they’re too scared to wake. Or maybe they just can’t. Their will to live, it’s too weak”

“I get it now. It takes children because they are too weak emotionally or spiritually to fight it. It took me too because it thought I lost my will to live. I actually did, but not anymore. I want to live for Magdalene.” I muttered this to myself.

“Did you say something Eloise?”

“Let these children go. Keep me. At least they want to live.”

It laughed. It mocked me.

“Eloise, it doesn’t work that way Eloise. Their will to live has to be stronger than my will to keep them. And oh I so badly want to keep them.”

Suddenly the atmosphere got denser. The air got thicker you could almost touch it.

Everywhere went silent. For a very long time. No one dared break the silence, it was terrifying. The children were sobbing silently. Too silently.

What is life? Why do we live? How important is life? What comes after life? None of these things ever really mattered to me. I’ve never taken life seriously, after all we’ll just die in the end. Staying alive is just a reminder that we’re closer to death. And that is agonizing. Why give life only to lose it in the end? Pointless. Not that I’ve ever contemplated suicide. Though the facts I’ve stated are clear and painful I’ve never considered killing myself. I just don’t value life and I really won’t care if I died. That was what I always thought. But is life really that worthless? Isn’t it a little bit beautiful while it lasts? Spending a few hours with Magdalene and her family made me realize that there are so many good people who deserve the best life has or does not have. Children who haven’t even seen the world. People who finally came out of their suffering. Maybe I have been wrong. Maybe life really is worth living. If not for myself at least for the people or person I want to stay alive. For Magdalene. I finally had a reason to live. I finally had something that made my life worth it. It took me a long time to find it. Not that I was even looking for it, but I finally found it.

“You’re wrong”

“Huh?”

“You’re wrong. I do value life. I probably just didn’t realise it yet. I want to live for all these children, for Maggie, more than you want to keep us here. I am now scared of dying. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to stay here forever. I want to leave. I have the will to leave here and to live. I have the will for all of us.”

“No! You don’t want to. You don’t have the will!”

“I will take everyone here and you will not and cannot stop us”

I woke up.

Was that all a dream? Was it real. I quickly left my house and ran. Where was I running to? Why was I running?

I stopped at a door and I knocked. I banged at the door. It was just 6:45 am.

“Open up! It’s Miss Eloise!”

Mr Gregory opened the door of his house and I dashed in and headed for the bedroom.

“Miss Eloise what are you doing?” he shouted a little bit scared.

As I opened the bedroom door there she was. Asleep like a little angel.

“Maggie” I called out to her softly as I rubbed her arm trying to wake her.

She blinked. Then she blinked again. She woke up.

I sighed heavily as we all broke down shedding tears of joy.

“Miss Eloise how did you know?” Me Gregory asked.

How did I know? How do I even explain? He’d never believe me.

“I don’t know” was my reply as I winked at Maggie who seemed to understand.

I found Magdalene just as I promised.

But I never uncovered the mystery behind the dressed beds when children went missing.