The Past

Chapter 3

Chapter 3CORBIN

I was surrounded by darkness, but I felt his whispered words to the depths of my soul. “He’s special.”

I looked around at the sound of the voice, “Sorry?”

“Bryson, he’s special.” I nodded because I didn’t have the right words. Special didn’t even begin to cover it. “How come you never told him how you felt?”

I squeezed my eyes tight as I prepared myself to admit my greatest fear out loud. I had never told anyone, and while I couldn’t see who was speaking to me, I felt compelled to answer him.

“I didn’t want to lose him.”

“Why did you think that you would?”

I shrugged, unsure of the exact answer, “I don’t know; because he’s Bryson.”

“Did you have such little faith in him?”

I shook my head, knowing that wasn’t it at all. “No, I had no faith in myself.”

“I see,” the voice muttered quietly. “What would you give to have that chance with him?”

“What?”

“What would you give to have one chance with him? One chance to lay out all your feelings?”

“Anything!” I shouted. I wasn’t sure how it would be possible, but I knew I would do anything.

“One week, only Bryson and his brother Bennett will remember the truth about your death....” he paused and I jumped in.

“Is that all?”

He chuckled and suddenly came into my view. He was glowing gold causing the darkness to be blinding. “No, Corbin, there’s more. As the week progresses, you’ll need to make Bryson understand that there is someone else out there for him. Someone who needs him more than you ever did.” No one could need Bryson more than I did. He wouldn’t agree, especially since the accident, but he saved me.

“I have to give him up?” I whispered, hanging my head.

“Not just give him up but help him save a life. Help him love someone other than you.”

I swallowed hard, Bryson was mine even though I had never admitted my feelings to him, and he had always been mine. “Save a life?”

“Yes, the life of my grandson.”

I swallowed again, my mind reeling, but before I could voice my answer, a scene opened below me.

“You wretched little s**t!” I flinched as the boy my age was struck across the face.

“Why can’t you be normal? You’re the reason I had to hit your mother!” The man spit on the boy and then stormed off. Leaving the boy with tears rolling down his face.

He swiped at them angrily, “Stop being a baby, Caiden.” He scolded himself. Then, the scene closed up.

I couldn’t turn around to face the golden man, “Why does he do that to him?”

“Because he’s gay.”

That got my attention, but I still didn’t turn around, “Bryson is supposed to save him?”

“And love him.” I swallowed hard as he repeated those words. My heart would be destroyed if I let Bryson love someone else, but I was gone, I couldn’t change what I had done, and needed to be fair to Bryson.

“Caiden needs him?” I asked, afraid to actually state it. But the truth had slapped me across the face just as hard as that man had slapped Caiden.

“So much, Corbin.”

“One week to tell Bryson everything I was scared to tell him, but then I have to give him up.” It didn’t seem possible.

“Yes and help him understand what needs to happen.”

I squeezed my eyes tight. I didn’t like the idea of Bryson belonging to someone else, but I also knew how loving Bryson was. If anyone could help Caiden it would be Bryson. “Okay, I’m in.” It was my only choice. Bryson’s future was at stake.

BRYSON

I couldn’t fully comprehend everything that happened the week following Corbin’s death. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I knew getting through today would be the hardest yet.

“You don’t have to speak, honey.” I looked over at my mom standing in my doorway.

“Yes, I do.”

She frowned, “I know Mrs. Mercer asked you to speak, but Bryson−” I shook my head, effectively cutting her off.

“I’m not doing it for her. I’m doing it for him. I’m doing it for Corbin. I owe him the truth.”

She walked toward me and cupped my face in her hands. “He meant a lot to you.” I just nodded, she kissed my cheek, and said “I love you, Bryson.”

Fresh tears rolled down my face, and she wiped them away, “I miss him, Mom,” I whispered.

She squeezed me tight. “I know, my precious boy, I know.” There were times when that sentiment bothered me, but today, it was welcomed. Knowing how much Bennett and I meant to her was important to me, despite it sometimes being a little embarrassing.

I sucked in a breath trying to calm my emotions as she released me. Today, everyone learned the truth. The truth I hid. Today, I would bare my soul, and say goodbye to the person who held my heart. Bare my soul to the only person I could ever love.

CORBIN

I waited in the shadows. Today, I was supposed to just listen. Today, I needed to understand the depth of Bryson’s pain. I didn’t want to see him sad. I didn’t like that he was sad because of my stupidity.

“If you don’t understand his feelings, you’ll never convince him there is someone else.” I looked over at the man who had described himself as Caiden’s grandfather, and sighed. Caiden, the boy that was supposed to be Bryson’s forever. Not me, him. It was still something I was trying to wrap my head around. Something I wasn’t sure I wanted to wrap my head around.

“Do you have a name?” I asked, and he smiled.

“Leroy,” he answered simply.

“This is going to be hard,” I admitted. He needed to know that, while I was in one-hundred percent on this, it wasn’t something that was going to come easy to me.

“He’ll drown in his sorrow if you fail.” I closed my eyes and nodded. I didn’t want Bryson to hurt. I didn’t want to fail him again. Bryson, above anyone else in my life, deserved happiness.

“The family tells me Bryson Trevino would like to say a few words.” My eyes opened and I focused on him. He took a moment to stand and sighed heavily. His mom whispered something to him, but Bryson shook his head and made his way to the podium.

“Listen,” I reminded myself.

“My name is Bryson Trevino.” He swallowed hard, and my eyes stayed transfixed on him. “One week ago, I lost my best friend, and I never had the chance to explain how I truly felt, because he was taken from me.” I watched. I listened. I was transfixed. Bryson paused, and swallowed hard.

“He’s struggling to say what he wants to say,” Leroy said. I nodded, afraid to respond to Leroy’s words.

“I’m not sure how I didn’t realize it sooner,” Bryson continued, “Maybe I did, and I was scared by it. Scared by what I felt for him.” My eyes averted from their transfixed state on my best friend.

“I don’t like that he was scared,” I admitted.

“Weren’t you scared as well though?” I couldn’t answer him verbally, so I just nodded.

“The day of the race, I had vision.” That grabbed my attention and my eyes snapped back to where he stood. “It was of the crash.” My eyes widened. “I begged him not to race, but he insisted. More than anything, I wish I would have truly listened when he told me he had too.” Bryson looked down and began to sob.

Bennett stood, my heart shattered as I watched him go to Bryson’s side. “Come on, bro, come sit down,” he coaxed, but Bryson shook him off.

“I made him promise it would be okay, but it won’t be, because when the moment happened, I denied Corbin what he needed most. My love.” The room gasped, “I love you, Corbin Mercer. I will always love you.” Bryson wiped his eyes and walked back to where his mom and brother were sitting. They both wrapped him in their arms.

“One week, Corbin.” I nodded, the words stuck in my throat. Letting him go. Convincing him there was someone else. It was going to be impossible. I had listened to his speech as I was supposed to, and I knew I was going to fail.

“Not possible,” I muttered.

“One week,” he repeated before I felt him leave me alone.