Her Angel Devil

Part 19

Sashas PVO

After dinner we all stayed a little longer in the field watching the children play and after that we all retreated to our Good, Because tomorrow we had a long way to go to the capital where the session is being held. After taking a shower and getting dressed for bed I lay down on the bed trying to fall asleep. However, nothing gave peace. My whole being became restless, I felt a fire awaken in me that I had put out a long time ago, or at least I thought I had put it out. That excitement and that restlessness I felt only when he was nearby. Is it possible that even after all these years my heart is still beating like in an 18-year-old girl. I used my powers to summon his image in front of me. Without any effort I managed to stand in front of me as if he really is the same as I remember him 5 years ago. He looked at me with his big eyes that took my breath away. My whole being trembled at the mere touch of him. Damn you! What did you do it for, what did you just use me for? Why didn't you stop when you saw that I started falling, damn it, the thought of you still hurts, why does my heart jump every time someone mentions your name? What is still hurting for so many years? I didn’t even realize I was getting out of bed and sobbing on the floor until someone’s warm hands lowered me onto the bed. I turned to that person, and saw the well-known warm green eyes, which had given me comfort all these years like a brother to a sister. It was Deon. I wiped my tears shyly and spoke.

"Did I wake you up, sorry please."

"No you didn't. I couldn't sleep, but are you okay?"

"I did. I mean I don't know. For what Deon?"

"What for a hundred"

He looked at me worriedly, but with understanding.

"What still hurts? I don't understand."

A small smile appeared at the end of his lips. When I think back at first it was appealing to me, but now it was just cute.

"It hurts. Of course it hurts, when you still love."

"I love it! No way I hate him."

"Haha. Don't Sasha. You can lie to others and even yourself to hate him, or try to convince him, but not me."

"What do you mean? I don't understand you, Deon."

"Have you forgotten that I spent centuries without my beloved thinking she was dead. I know well that look full of pain you used to have. It's grief for lost love, which is not over. Will you be able to see it."

"No. That's where you're wrong. I don't love him. It's a long time ago. I'll prove it to everyone if he comes, especially him."

"I hope so. Are you okay now, can I leave you alone?"

"Yes. And thank you for everything."

After that he went to his room. Of course I don't love him anymore, I'll prove it to him and to everyone else. After a while I managed to fall asleep. I was awakened by the noise of children coming from the kitchen. I heard Avriel tell them to be quiet but to no avail. She got up, got dressed, and went downstairs. Everyone was already at the table, it seemed that they were just waiting for me.

"I'm sorry. I slept a little longer."

I heard Avriel coming from the kitchen.

"Never mind, darling. Deon told me you couldn't sleep last night."

"And did he tell you."

I looked at him as if I wanted to kill him. I saw a smile of apology on his face. I should have known he would tell her, but I still hoped he wouldn't. Knowing Avriel now will make her feel worse, she'll think I gave up my own for her happiness.

Even if it was true to some, it was my decision, no one forced me to do it. After breakfast we all packed up and set off. Everyone with their thoughts and fears. I hope that nothing bad will happen, and that he will not appear at all. I hoped for that the most because of Gabriel, because if he sees him I won't be able to hide that he is his father, and I'm afraid of what he might do when he finds out that I've been hiding from him all these years that he has a child.