Minder

Chapter 18

LAWSON

My grin f*****g grows like it’s been ignited with an electrical current. Olallie swirls and dances around her friends from Colorado. There's a chuckle that seems honest as it comes out my chest, greeting my stubborn throat.

For a minute, I feel joy, the foreign emotion making me hesitate to embrace it.

“Huh.” Verse checks out the girls and then back at me. We are on the verge of a night going down in history. Everything feels right; we are all on the same level of thinking.

“What?” Not giving him my full attention because the blonde beauty that twirls in her Sunday best flirts with her eyes all over me.

“Nothing, just always wondered what you would look like happy. It's a nice surprise, less serial killer vibe than I first assumed. Which is a relief, considering you were worried about prison.” Verse jokes with a smile on my face.

“Asshole.” But the best damn friend I will ever have.

“Go get your woman, or baby brother will steal her from you for good.” Verse mocks me as he shoves me to the dance floor. His arms go around Olallie’s crazed friend while Vayden shuffles next to the cool one.

But Verse was right. I felt it; the sensation was there before I could deny its alien force. It moved throughout my whole damn body, and for once, I was relieved. Not on edge watching as a girl who seemed to come from thin air made me believe in testimony for a better chance.

“Don’t forget training tomorrow,” he mouths to me, and I give him a nod.

Tickling the ends of Olallie’s curls, I bring my cheek to meet hers as I hum along to the beat of the music.

She smiles and looks as eager as I am to belong somewhere. Both places are in the presence of each other.

Our lips meet, and I never want to let go. They move, and we mimic the outlines. Olallie sighs, and I want to swallow them all and keep them for the days that we can’t find any good.

As the night drags on and the girls are ready to bail, Olallie shakes her fist to use the bathroom before we leave.

Zailey pulls her along, but I pull her back. Wanting to confirm the conversation, we didn’t get to finish.

“It isn’t a void. It’s a vacant spot that only you can fill. My life is good, better than most. I’m not trying to use you as some filter to escape. I love you, ghost girl, a lot. It’s hard to admit sometimes, but being with you is a reward.” There is so much truth in the sentence I can’t help sounding exposed. Let her become awakened to me.

Olallie’s bright eyes start to shine, and with a blink, she remembers. She isolates herself from what is going on right in front of her. “Lawson…I can’t….”

Rejection.

For f**k’s sake, I had the premise that we were on the same goddamn page, walking the same f*****g line. But I guess I’ve been alone on this journey, and I wonder if I was repeating myself to a ghost the whole time.

I walk away.

Not caring what her explanation would be. Not in the mood to hear her scummy sorrows. Done with trying and her giving same back. Because the one time I decide to jump, she’s already decided that we’re not worth the risk.

My voice doesn’t clip at her response, even as she follows me. When I turn a corner, she doesn’t know I vanish.

And with the couple minutes to cool down, calm my butt-hurt ego, I make all the desire for her vanish along with it.

“Where is she?” Who they keep asking me about, I don’t care. Keep pushing through the crowd, removing any guilt I ever had for being a d**k to the girl I thought I loved.

“Lawson! Wait up! Something’s gone wrong. Kalonie messed with Olallie again.” I should be startled; there is half a thought that thinks good; I’m glad she’s in pain.

Yet, I don’t hustle as Verse yells out the window to me. I don’t run. Because Olallie isn’t mine to save. Olallie isn’t mine to provide a happy existence to.

No, I was mistaken; she wasn’t mine at all.

“What happened?”

“Vayden and her friends are on the way to the hospital. Some crazy s**t Kalonie is pulling these days. We need to lock this down, Law. Your girl is going to get hurt if she hasn’t already.” Verse tries to hurry me along to the truck.

“It’s not our problem, Verse. Olallie ain’t my girl, bro.” The old Lawson comes over any new agreeable identity he was getting used to.

“What the f**k, Lawson? I don’t care if you are fighting or said something you didn’t like. Do you not understand? Olallie is in the f*****g hospital because Kalonie is trying to ruin the poor girl. We are going to the emergency room, and I swear to f**k if you argue, I will bring you in with a concussion.” He means business, and we are equal in build.

“Let’s go, pretty boy, before you are late for mommy’s curfew.” I grabbed a pair of sunglasses and put them on; his mouth gaped open at my behavior.