Kill for Love

Chapter 39 - Back From the Beginning

It’s been a month since Athena learned that Ares died and up until now, it’s still hard for her to accept the fact that the very first person she fell in love with is gone. 

“Hey, one more tequila, please,” Athena said to the bartender. Her eyes are already blurry. Her arms are a little bit wobbly. She’s no longer aware of what was happening in the bar. She could no longer hear the loud music surrounding the room. She’s feeling numb, but not too numb because she is still feeling the pain. The same exact pain that she’s been trying to ease and forget.

The bartender immediately poured her another drink before attending to the other customers. She could no longer remember how many nights she spends time in the same bar or how many bottles of liquors she chugs. All she wanted to do is to drown herself in alcohol, and maybe… just maybe, the pain she’s feeling will go away. 

“Hey, Babe, do you want some good time tonight?” A man approached her.

“I’m not interested. Go away," she said in a slurred speech. She waved her hand to shoo the man, but the guy was so persistent. He snaked his right arm across her tiny waist and tried to drag her to the dance floor to dance. But when the disco lights showed over her face, the man screamed. It is as if he saw something scary. 

“God, man! When did you last take care of yourself? You look horrible!” The man said in disgust. He pushed her back to the bar counter and left.

Athena sadly smiled. She knows that if anyone knew her before, they would never recognize her. Her hair is messy, like she did not bathe for weeks. No makeup on her face. She had big dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes were bloodshot red. If only she’s big-boned, she might be mistaken as a panda. Totally, she was not the same pretty and sexy Athena before. 

She sighed. She feels so tired and just wanted to lay on her soft bed and sleep. And when the sun’s come up, it will be another day of drinking for her. 

Athena took her clutch while wobbling her way to the new hotel she currently checked in. It was only one block away from the bar she always went to. 

She looked at her watch. It’s still 1 AM and the streets of Bourbon are still full of people who want to get drunk and party. Every time she passes by a group of people, they look at her weirdly, but she doesn’t care. She no longer cares what others would think of her. 

She reached her hotel room safely. She threw her clutch on the bed and kicked off her pumps off her feet. And without any care, she dived into her bed face-first. She stayed quiet for a while, then suddenly, tears were starting to fall from her eyes. 

She wiped her tears away till she got tired and just let them fall freely from her eyes. 

She doesn't care anymore.

There are times she just wanted to end everything. It's useless anyway. The one she wanted the most is no longer there. No longer alive…

She lazily crawls her way up to the bedside table and takes her phone. Ever since Ares died, she always leaves her phone whenever she goes out. She knows it’s torture to look at his stolen pictures on her phone, but she did it anyway.

‘I guess I’m a masochist after all,’ she thought.

She already got the phone in her hands and was holding on to it so tight. She controlled herself not to open it and make herself suffer again by looking at Ares’ pictures. She bit her lips. The more she tries to resist, the more urges she gets to turn on the phone. It’s like there were voices inside her head urging her to open the phone and feel the pain again. And maybe that way, she will get immune to the pain she’s feeling.

“Ah, f**k it!” she yelled. She turned on her phone, and the messages continuously arrived. Even without looking at the messages, she knows exactly who sent them to her. It’s no other than Cytherea…

She deleted the messages without reading them. She’s been ignoring her calls, messages, and even voice mails. She doesn't have any face to show her best friend. Up until now, she’s still feeling the burden of guiltiness. She will not be able to face Cytherea without breaking down and knowing her best friend. She will ask why. She’s afraid that she may not be able to contain herself and tell her the truth. She already lost the love of her life, and she doesn’t want to lose her only best friend.

Athena deleted Cytherea’s messages as well as the voicemails without reading or listening to them. But then she mistakenly plays the very last voicemail. 

Bestie, where are you? I’m so worried about you. You don’t have to blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. I already lost Ares, and I don’t want to lose you too. Please call me. 

She bit her lips and went ahead and deleted the voicemail without any hesitation.

She opens the gallery, and her eyes get blurry again while she scans Ares' pictures. She just realized how hard it is to become the third party in a relationship. She wasn’t able to attend during the funeral ceremony because she’s afraid someone will notice why she cried so hard or why she’s breaking down. She has to wait and go after the ceremony to cry her heart out and be able to say her final goodbye to Ares.

And just like the other nights, she cried herself to sleep again. And in her dreams, she saw again how she and Ares met.

***

“Athena, we have another project for you. It will be a fashion show for bridal gowns. The exciting thing is that you are the chosen one to wear the most expensive wedding gown. In short, you will be the finale… the star of the night,” her manager, Lily, informed her. Her manager was so ecstatic. She had just finished her photoshoot and was getting her things so she could go home when her manager approached her. 

Lily has been her manager since she started modeling at the age of eighteen. She is already forty-five years old and has a family of her own. She is not just her manager but also a family to her. 

“Can I have a vacation after that, Lily? My god, I’m already 23 years old and I’m still single!” she complained. “I need to get a boyfriend already!”

Lily laughed and jokingly pinched her waist. “You have a lot of suitors, but you didn’t even entertain any of them and now here you are complaining that you don’t have a boyfriend.” Lily shook her head.

Athena chuckled. “Well, all of them are a bunch of losers. They didn’t meet my standard.”

Lily loudly laughed and stagy replied, “Whatever!” She slapped her bottom and started to get her bags. “I’ll get these. We have to get faster. We still have a meeting to go to.”

It’s already 6 PM when they arrive at the restaurant where they are going to meet their client. They are thirty minutes early, so they decided to wait inside the restaurant. Suddenly, a waiter and a man approached their table. 

“Hi, Mr. Pendleton,” Lily greeted the man. She stood up and offered her hand for a handshake in which the man gladly accepted. 

Athena felt the time stood still when she saw the man. He was the most attractive guy she’d ever seen. His blue eyes, roman nose, and thin lips made him a man that a woman would always take not just a second look but a dozen and not to mention that he is a tall man who stands about 6’3” tall.

She was lost in his eyes. She didn’t even notice that Lilly was nudging her and was whispering her name. Her face flushed in red when she realized what was happening. She was gaping at the man with her mouth open!

She awkwardly cleared her throat and immediately stood up that she almost tripped and fell if not for the man who caught her waist. He helped her stand up properly and gave her a friendly smile. 

“I’m Ares Pendleton. It’s nice to meet you, Athena, finally.”