Death-Bound

Greater Good

Chapter Nineteen

After dinner, the four of us moved to the newly improved garden. The Emperor was impressed. “This garden is familiar.” He said.

“I wanted it to look exactly like the one I had home.” I said. “Though Margaritta added the fountain which is as you can see is the only thing out of place.”

Solom came to me grinning and gave me my tea. “Here you go Jem.” He said with a smile. “Would you give the Princess her tea as well?” He was now talking to the Emperor who was rather confused about the whole situation. “Go on cousin.”

The princess stood up and said. “I can take care of that, thank you very much!” she took the cup of tea, which was served on the table not far from us, then went to sit on the love seat in front of me. Solom just smiled and regarded the princess. “Why are you doing this?” she asked Solom with such confusion.

“I like it.” He said plainly. He then looked at the Emperor and me respectively and took a sip from his cup. I myself couldn’t resist the temptation of green tea after the heavy meal. “I think you are soothed to be my cousin’s wife.” The Emperor raised an eye brow. And piercingly looked at Solom.

“You ill-mannered fool!” I said. “You are not allowed to do the picking of the Emperor’s Wife?!” I stood up and apologetically bowed to the Emperor. “Forgive him my Lord.” I am going to lose my head for his. The Emperor gestured me not to do so.

“My cousin,” said the Emperor, “does want Lady Jem’s hand in marriage that he would try all tactics on me to dismiss my proposal to her father.” He sighed. “I am so sorry Solom but I could not back down from this. As far as the whole Empire is concerned, she is the best of all the Princesses that I’ve met so far.” I was hurt by the Emperor’s word for the Princess.

“My Lord, you know that I am engaged to Solom.” I said hesitantly. “And—”

“I am the Emperor and my words are laws. You dare defy me?” he said in a very defensive manner.

“She doesn’t love you Geoff!” Solom argued. “An Empress without a heart that would love could bring this Empire to stumble. Learn for the mistakes of kings and past rulers. You know better than to be a fool.”

I stood up I can’t witness this once again. “May we be excused?” I asked. The two of them stopped arguing when I pulled the princess towards the cottage. The Princess was startled as well. She looked at me with surprise as we stepped inside of the cottage. “Forgive me, I do want you to witness any of their worthless arguments.” I said. “They’ve been stubborn enough to drag you into one of their childish fights.” I bowed to her apologizing when the Emperor zoomed in the door from the garden.

“Why are you bowing to her?” he asked with a loud voice. “Jem, you are higher than her. You are going to be my wife soon and you mustn’t bow to anyone.” I looked up and look at him with my expressionless face then he took a step back. Something in my look declared that he just did the worst possible mistake, he could ever commit.

“I can’t marry you Geoff, you know that. I can’t bare you a child.” I said. For all the nights when I wanted my death, it occurred to me that not once I became pregnant with all the men who used me. And perhaps maybe I am useless as a woman myself, for I can never fulfill my task as a woman—to give birth to a child. “I am as barren as a dessert.” Solom entered the room, “I guess it’s best if we end this little gathering for tonight.” Sadness enveloped me. I was not sure why, but the moment I realized it they all left. The Emperor wanted me for his wife, and I just let it go down the cliff. I refused to marry him for not the same reason I thought back then, I was afraid that he would put me away the moment he would know the truth about my condition. He just did.

Margaritta gave me a flute of wine. “I think you need that.” She said she pour herself as well. She sighed when she saw me. “I cannot say you are a fool for putting down the Emperor’s proposal, but I guess, your wisdom would ensure the future of this Empire. I know you love him Jem. And I am a witness myself of his devotion to you, for he wanted you to forget every bit of what happened to you in the past.”

I choked a sob; I don’t want to cry, not over spilled milk. “I cannot forget Margaritta. Those pain, they made me who I am now. And I can never forget them for it’s the only way I can assure myself that I am moving forward.” I drunk all the content of my flute. “You may think I am a bit twisted, but Margaritta, I love this Empire to much that I won’t cause it to die. If the Emperor chooses me, he will have no heir. It will provoke other greedy royals to claim the throne when he dies. I do not wish to witness the destruction of this Empire, and my decision now is for the greater good of all.” And after I said those words I retreated to my room. My mind ached for rest.