The Hitman and His Consort

XXI - Misconception

First Person P.O.V: ARTHUR DE LAVIGNE

My shoulders are sore, my whole body is sweaty, and this uniform is too hecking stuffy. I feel like I’d die of suffocation if I don’t get everything off. I already have a lot of things going through in my head, so the moment I saw Valentin and Inka, along with that situation, something in me whispered to just drop dead and let fate decide things from that point.

I was exhausted, but that would still be an understatement. The only thing that kept me going was knowing what I felt was nothing compared to what Madeline went through in that… hell.

It was worse than I thought. It was way worse than I thought that I felt my breakfast climb back out of my throat. In the future, if anyone asks me what scared me the most, I’m certain I’d describe what I saw in vivid detail.

Even now in the clinic that Valya brought us to, it took me more than a few minutes to get it together, everything that happened between me finding Madeline and getting to this place was hazy, it only happened hours ago but my memory was already failing me.

“… thur… Arthur… Arthur!” Inka called out, snapping her fingers right at my face with one hand while I felt her other hand squeeze mine,

‘That’s right… I need to focus…’

I roamed my eyes across the room there was a faint ringing in my ears that messed up the words I’m supposed to hear, everyone sounded like they were underwater, I felt tugging and jerking and realized that Inka was already removing my disguise for me.

She ripped the overalls off, causing the plastic folders that I stuffed in my clothes to fall off. I’m not so sure what those are anymore, all I know is those are important. She also removed the stick-on's, make-up, and latex on my face.

‘It’s getting harder to breathe…why? It should be the opposite. What’s happening?’

I can feel my hard pounding on my chest and I see blotches of pitch-black figures despite the clinic being dim, why aren’t they opening the lights?

“Valya she’s palpitating!” Inka announced.

‘…what the hell is palpitating?’

Is what I wanted to ask but I’m practically gasping for air. Why is my chest heavy? I still feel Inka squeezing my hands, but for some reason, they’re really sweaty—

“Arthur, listen to me—can you hear me? You can hear me, right? Just keep breathing, you’re doing a good job, keep listening to my voice, okay? I’m right here, breathe in and out, let’s do it together…” I heard the voice of another man. This must be the man inside the clinic,

I tried to focus my hearing on his voice, he still sounded muffled but it’s getting more crisp as I matched his pace, I felt cold every time I exhaled but I still focused on his instructions, he also held my hands in Inka’s stead who I now see standing next to Valentin, their faces are still hazy.

‘The lights were open?...since when?’

My eyes started to adjust and I’m starting to recognize their expressions, but more than that, I’m seeing the face of the man in front of me.

‘He looks great. That beard really works for him,’

“There we go, Arthur? Arthur look at me—look at me,” he said as he proceeded to stare directly at my soul, I looked around again things are becoming crisper and I can clearly see Inka’s concerned face and Valentin who looked like he was constipated and he’s pissed about it.

“Arthur… are you with us?” The man asked again,

“You’re pretty good-looking, no?” I replied. I'm not hitting on him by any means. He's just, obviously, a very attractive individual.

He seemed to be stunned for a moment before giving me a fatherly smile. “Thank you, how are you feeling?” he asked,

“Like s**t,”

“At least you’re aware of things, would you like a glass of water?”

“No, thank you,”

“Can you sit up straight? Keep breathing, okay?’

“Yeah, yeah…”

He then lifted me up a bit by my underarms and leaned me on the backrest of this cozy couch, “You had a panic attack,” he informed,

‘… the hell is that?’

He held my wrist while looking at his watch, I’m not sure if he was checking my pulse or judging me because I don’t have a watch but he made it clear it was the former, “Your pulse is still fast, but you’re recovering,” he informed.

“From the Pizza atta—?”

“—‘Panic’ attack,”

“Yeah…”

He then stood up and gestured for Inka to take over with the task of holding my hands, “Yes, keep breathing for me, okay?” he urged.

“…who are you?” I asked, I didn’t know his name,

“Oh, yes, my apologies, I’m Dr. Rodrigo,” he introduced with a smile,

“Oh, okay… I’ll do it for you, Rod,” I assured,

“Pft—ehem, thank you,”

“You look like a good guy, Rod,”

“You flatter me,”

Inka then bit her lip as she offered Rod an apologetic smile, “She’s not usually this talkative if she's fine, I’m sorry,” she said to him, Rod only raised his hand and mouthed ‘it’s fine’ to her as he then went over to Valya who’s facial expression returned to the usual void.

They talked in hushed voices. I couldn’t hear, so I didn’t even try. I faced Inka again and she started smiling at me, “You looked so stoned,” she said,

‘…I feel offended,’

But more than that, I feel like I forgot something. Didn’t I bring something over to this place?

I tried to sit more comfortably, and that’s when it clicked, the moment the pain on my shoulder made me wince I remembered just what—no who, I brought over here and I snapped my head to the body right next to me, the unconscious and heartrendingly thin figure, contrast to how his body was before, I remembered the pain I felt the first time I saw him in the lab.

“Madeline…” I called out to him, patting his leg, “Mads,” I called out again, a little louder but he still didn’t wake up.

“F*ck…Madeline!” I yelled. Why isn’t he getting up? He’s out for the whole day already! I tried to inch closer to him, but Inka stopped me.

“Ink let go, why isn’t he waking up?!” I asked,

“Don’t worry, he’s fine, he’s breathing fine, we’ll get someone over to check on him but before that try to get some rest, alright?” she cooed, I looked between her and Madeline, not sure if she’s telling the truth because Madeline is not moving at all. Then again, it’s Inka, she won’t lie to me, would she?

“Okay… I’ll get some shut-eye,” I agreed as I leaned further back on the backrest and relaxed every aching muscle in my body.

‘This feels nice…’

…

‘This is one hard pillow… what the hell?...’

I feel something hard and firm pressing against my cheek. I also feel something long draped over my back, like a fat python. I grunted to find a softer spot to rest my head on. I did, but this isn’t as soft as I would like my pillow to be, nor as warm, it's squishy, yes, but I prefer my pillows cold…

‘Hold up…where the hell am I?’

“If you’re awake then get off,” the menacing voice of Valya snapped my eyes wide as he moved his left arm off my back, too stunned to move I looked up to meet his eyes staring down at my face resting so comfortably on his left boob which was bigger than I thought it'd be,

mushier too.

“…N-Nice t**s,” ‘WHAT THE f**k DID I JUST SAY?’

Valentin just stared at me in silence before pinching the bridge of his nose, breathing out of his nose, I took that as an opportunity to slowly peel myself off of him and look around the room, and if that wasn’t embarrassing enough I locked eyes with Inka and another man—No, this one is Rod, from last night, and they are both looking at me with wide eyes, frozen on their seats on another couch.

Inka reacted first and did a facepalm before shaking her head. Rod, who looks as nice as he acts, smiled after we all collectively got over that shameful shock, “H-How are you feeling, Arthur?” he asked,

'Even he is embarrassed for me, f*ck this—'

Gathering my composure and what’s left of my decorum I fixed my sitting posture, “I’m good, better, I’m all good,” I replied, my head was working better now, and judging from the faint sunbeams that leaked out of the binds on the windows it’s early morning, I turned to my side to see my brother now dressed in a loose sweatshirt and sweatpants in the same gray color.

Sitting up.

Awake.

And…holding a cup of coffee? With a disapproving scowl.

“GAH! MADELINE!” I couldn’t help but yell as I lounged to him in a tight hug.

He’s here! He’s actually here! Alive! Drinking coffee—but alive! I don’t care if he spills a little coffee, I just wanted to feel him in my arms, just make sure this wasn’t a hallucination. I felt his arms hug me back and the warm mug pressing against a spot on my back as I buried my face deeper into his chest,

“Bold of you to cuddle with your boyfriend right in front of me,” he whispered, making me choke up.

‘Why the hell does he sound like that? He sounds so tired…’

“Shut up, at least I wasn’t trapped in a f*cking hellhole” I shot back, I couldn’t even hide the fact that I’m already crying, I sniffed and sobbed in his arms like how I used to, way back then, what they did to Madeline was f*****g heartbreaking and the fact that he’s hugging me right now only made me recall every single thing I saw in that place.

I’m just so glad he’s back.

He rubbed circles on my back and I felt him shake as if he’s chuckled, “Are you seriously crying? Nakakahiya ka,” he joked, petting my head. How dare he joke at times like this? While I’m bawling my eyes out, he’s here, acting like he’s not a victim of human testing.

He’s always been the stronger one, between us, I acknowledge that since he worked hard for it, but still keeping it up even in this situation made me realize he’s not the stronger one anymore, he’s just trying at this point.

I slowly pulled away from him and wiped my eyes, still breathing heavily as I tried my best to stop crying, but the tears kept coming. I’m feeling both sad and relieved, and the calmness that it brought just made me cry more.

“I didn’t expect it to be this emotional, but I’m just as glad to have you back Maddie,” I heard Inka say,

“You and me both Nanay, thanks for the help, Rod too, and to your girlfriend,” Madeline replied, thanking them respectively before looking at Valentin with a subtle harsher look, “… and to you, I guess, Mr.Boyfriend,” he added,

“Wha—Mad he’s not my boyfriend, I swear,” I argued,

“I’m not her boyfriend,” Valentin affirmed,

“Yeah, they’re not in that relationship,” Inka followed,

“I doubt that’s even possible,” Rod said almost in a joking manner, but that hit something in my chest. It took some strength to stop myself from saying ‘why not’ right after he said that.

Wait, did I hear Madeline right? I turned to Rod, “Wait, Rod, your girlfriend was here?” I asked, just now comprehending. Rod nodded and threw a sly smile to Valentin, whose brows furrowed by a millimeter.

“Yes, she’s a registered nurse, that Diana of ours,” he said with a proud smile, well it would be weirder if he’s single I’m more curious why he’s looking at Valya as he spoke, and since I’ve been saying b*llshit all morning it won’t hurt to ask that right? I’ve dug a far-too-deep hole of shamelessness to hold back now,

“Why are you looking at Valya like that?” I asked jokingly,

Sighing, Valya answered in Rod’s place, “Diana is my younger sister,”

…

“Oh,” I said to break the pregnant silence that went across the room. Inka blinked twice before shrugging, getting over it pretty quick while Madeline took an awkward sip of his coffee, and Valya… is still himself, expressionless.

After gulping his drink, Madeline opted to follow up on me, “U-Uh, okay…The bro code was stupid anyways—”

‘Oh my God, Madeline really f*****g said that—’

“—you should be good friends then? I mean you trust each other to this extent after all,” he announced.

Rod and Valya exchanged glances before Rod shrugged, “Well, I am his therapist,” he replied and both Madeline and I turned to Valya in unison. I’m pretty sure I know why he has one,

“Why do you need a therapist?” Madeline asked,

“Sh*t, mads, you can’t just ask that—” I scolded, but Valya, in his monotonous and uninterested tone, cut me off and answered:

“I’m a sociopath, my family thinks he can help,” he said gesturing to Rod.

This is the most awkward situation I’ve been in. The shame and mistakes keep on piling on top of each other I couldn’t keep tabs on what I should be embarrassed by and which I should feel sorry for, three of the most tactless people I know, including me, thickened the tension of the room with our unbridled indelicacy.

“Is it impossible for you to find average friends?” Madeline whispered to me so I jabbed him lightly.

I cleared my throat before speaking again, “A-Anyways, now that you’re back we need to find a safe place to recuperate so you can get your strength back, we should call mo—”

“Right, the quicker I recuperate, the quicker I can finish my target,” Mads affirmed, sipping the last of his coffee, but I was just shocked, no, baffled. Moreover, I was annoyed.

I stood from my seat, “What are you talking about?” I asked with a smile since the vibe was going well, until now. I was convincing myself that he didn’t mean what I think he meant and that he was just being delusional but he matched me and also stood up. He even wobbled before regaining his balance and looking at me in the eyes.

“I meant what I said, I need to get better and finish killing Pierre,” he repeated and my heart sunk, I couldn’t make out what he’s trying to be so tough for, I felt the air in the room change the moment he said those words.

“No, you’re not, like hell you’re going to get even close to that place,” I countered, unconsciously raising my voice as mild panic started boiling in my chest, I felt as if he’ll suddenly burst out running out of this room to escape and I instinctively blocked his fastest route to the door,

Mads titled his head with a frown and sighed, “Look, I know you’re worried, but I need to do this—”

“No! You don’t understand, Mads, I am not letting you go back there, not if I can do anything about it,” I spat, cutting him off, making his frown more intense,

He inched closer, “Art, I’m not saying I’m leaving this instant and what do you mean I don’t understand?... I was in that place, I know more than anyone,” he rebutted, arguing about this is out of the question. Why is he being this stubborn? He should be happy he’s not coming back to that place,

“Mads, listen I am not letting you go back there, end of story” I clarified,

He straightened his back and handed his empty mug to Inka who’s watching both of us intently, I’m sure she shares my opinion but doesn’t want to intrude but if it takes everyone in this room to stop Mads from saying that s**t then so be it,

“Are you saying that ‘cause you don’t think I could?” he asked,

“Mads you know that’s not—”

“THEN WHAT?!” he yelled,

The tension of the room is nothing to the strain I felt, Mads was not someone who yells like this, not when he’s mad, he’s naturally loud but he doesn’t get like this, he’s not someone who shouts out of anger. It scared me; it made me flinch that it felt like…

It felt like I was looking at my father.

“Maddie, Art’s just worried about you… you were gone for five months,” Inka said as she stepped in, placing a hand on his shoulder, he took in a deep breath and covered his face with both hands. I still couldn’t get off the disturbing similarity between dad and Mads at that moment that I didn’t realize my hands were shaking.

It left quite the bitter aftertaste.

I saw Valya stand up from the corner of my eyes and felt his hands on my shoulder as he pulled me away from Mads and forced me to sit down on the couch, “Just stay,” he whispered before looking at Madeline as he turned his back to us,

“Could you at least tell me why you’re so insistent on going back?” I mumbled enough for him to hear,

“What do you mean…that’s my job,” he replied, his fist clenched still,

‘Bullsh*t’

“Does your client even remember you? Mads, stop this…I know you’ve never lived a ‘safe’ life but you’ve never failed before too! This changes things,” it might now seem like it but at this point, I was begging him. I felt Valya squeeze my shoulders softly, and when I looked at his face, he just shook his head.

“Neither of you two makes sense, let it go… for now,” Valya said, and I watched Madeline go to a room inside the clinic, probably where Rod sleeps but does he really not want to see or talk to me, that he locked himself in that place?

“He’s emotionally unstable right now, Arthur, he went through hell and just go out, he might be mildly disoriented right now, we don’t know what happened in the past five months but it did some damage,” Rod began as Valya took a seat next to me,

Rod glanced at the shut door Madeline locked himself in and sighed, “Those damages may manifest into… something else, emotional or psychological traumas are much like physical traumas, it ruins a routine, it hinders movements, it interferes with certain decisions, it changes a lot of things that the person already has going for them, give him some time,” he finished.

I dragged my hands across my face in an attempt to wash off whatever pitiful expression I have on my face right now, the familiar disdain I felt when I knew Madeline was missing arose again when I realized that I didn’t bring him back just yet.

And with how Rod worded it out, it looks like I never would be able to bring the old Madeline back, not after what happened to him.

Not after going through hell. He’s not the brother I knew five months earlier. I know that people change and that’s only natural, but he was forced to change. They emaciated him and, as if depriving him of rations wasn’t enough, they broke him.

They backed him to such a narrow corner. What I brought back wasn’t my brother but the Mariella labs’ victim.

‘It was going so well…’

I thought as I rested my elbows on my knees, a hand still over my eyes. I’m scared I’ll break down again. This morning’s cry was a given, I was just happy to see him well, but if I break down now, it’s obvious that I’m throwing a tantrum.

“You can talk some sense to him once he’s gathered his thoughts too,” Inka said as she approached me and patted my head,

If he’s being fueled by his anger for Pierre and the others that tortured him, maybe I would be able to understand why he even thought of going back there, who knows maybe if he explained it a bit better and make a full recovery I might even help him get there.

‘But what I don’t understand… is why would he immediately put the stakes of his recuperation on the goal of getting back in there?’