Finding Selene

Chapter 10: 13 Years Prior To Present Day

Selene, Bethany, and Sierra stayed that way for longer than it took for Sierra’s legs to go numb against the biting edge of the chair; Bethany falling asleep when Sierra carefully took one hand from around Selene and used it to pet Bethanys hair. When Bethany opened her eyes, she slowly sat up and pushed the hair back from her face, tears and snot gluing it down. She stood and kissed her mother's cheek, looking around to realize that it was late afternoon.

“Is she okay mom? Do you need me to take her from you? Where is everyone? Also, what time is it?’ Bethany looked around trying to figure out what was going on. The clock on the stove read 15:42, and the sun had obviously already reached the far side of its peak. The whole day had gone by and that explained why the stiffness had settled into her knees, hip, and back. Suddenly Bethany realized what her body was going to feel like in 20 years and lightly chuckled to herself.

Selene started moving and rubbed her nose lightly against the collar of Sierra’s top, causing a loud sneeze that startled all three ladies. She sat up quickly and looked downward towards the floor. Sierra rubbed Selene’s arms while Bethany rubbed her back, absent-mindedly. It was only a few moments before Selene wrapped her arms around Sierras neck once again and hugged her tightly. She slid off Sierra’s lap and wrapped her arms around Bethany’s waist, burying her face in Bethany’s side. Bethany wrapped one arm around Selene’s small frame and the other she used to rub the stiffness out of her neck.

“Do we know where everyone is?” Bethany asked Sierra.

“Dad went to sign Selene up for school, so we didn’t miss that, and everyone else went to do whatever it is they wanted as long it was quiet. I think your eldest brother went for a walk; the other two kids are definitely upstairs though.” Sierra glanced at the clock on the stove, “Dad should have been back by now so I don’t know where else he went; when he gets back we’ll go out for dinner and some light shopping. I know you two have to be famished by now- especially you, Selene.”

Selene lifted her head without letting go of Bethany and chuckled, “Well, let’s get the rest of the crew around and call…” Bethany trailed off as she heard the sound of tires on the pavement, “…dad.”

Bethany put her hand gently over Selene’s ear before raising her head and yelling towards the stairs, “TWINS! Let’s get our shoes on! I’m starving!” She moved her hand off Selene’s ear and rubbed her arm, “Let’s go get our shoes on, mi vida. There are some great spots to eat in town.”

Sierra chuckled and watched her oldest and youngest daughter walk away. She leaned against the dark marbled counter as she fought with the tears that threatened to fall and was still fighting with them when Michael walked into the kitchen. He silently leaned against the counter next to Sierra and put his arm around her shoulders and stayed that way until the sound of the front door signaled that Marcus was also home.

“I love you,” Michael whispered in her ear, “You are a wonderful mother, and our kids love you. Selene just got here and is already taken with you. None of what has happened is your fault, and you couldn’t have found either of our girls any earlier than you did. You could not have prevented anything that happened to them before they became ours and you couldn’t have known about either of their panic attacks.” He recited the words into her ear that he had been telling himself since he had left for the school hours earlier. It wasn’t logical to feel guilty for not bringing Selene or Bethany home earlier than they did, he knew that. However, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of heart twisting guilt that both his daughters had such nerve wrecking experiences it caused panic attacks.

Marcus walked into the kitchen, eyes slightly puffy and red, carrying a medium-sized purple tote. It seemed that the panic attacks weren’t just affecting the parents. Setting the tote down on the kitchen table Marcus walked over to his parents and gave Sierra a kiss on the cheek, “Where is Selene, mom?”

“She went to go put her shoes on, baby. What’s in the tote?”

“I got some stuff for her. Well, I bought some stuff for all of the siblings, but it started out for Selene. I think she was starved, mom, or at the very least was punished with food. It’s just a feeling but it seemed extremely significant when Riley showed her there was food saved for her.” Marcus opened the tote and pulled a grocery bag out and three small gift bags; inside the tote there were many types of snacks and treats. Sierra realized what he had done for Selene and felt the tears threaten to fall all over again. As the three youngest children came running into the kitchen Sierra quickly looked towards Michael and wiped her tears away.

“Oh! What’s all this?” Riley asked excitedly, peering intently at the gift bag with her name on it.

“Your brother decided to treat everyone to something special.” Michael told Riley and motioned for Marcus to explain.

“I can’t imagine what it is like in foster care and hate that it seems my sisters had not-so-great experiences. But we can’t change what’s happened before you two got here. What we can do is love you, protect you, and promise you that you have family again. You’ll never be alone for as long as you live.” Marcus took Selene’s hand, “I know it’s been a very eventful 24 hours since you got here but we’ll work every day to prove that we’re here for you and none of us are going anywhere.”

Not an eye in the room was dry as Michael and Sierra beamed at Marcus with pride. He walked over to the gift bags and started handing them out to Mason, Riley, and Bethany. He handed the envelope he had labeled “Mom & Dad” to his parents and then put the tote in front of Selene. While everyone else opened their gifts Selene just stood there, unsure of what she was supposed to do or why her gift was so different than anyone else’s.

“I don’t want you to ever worry about being able to eat. Mom and Dad will explain more about money later but in this tote is one of most types of snack foods and treats. There are more flavors of things than I could fit but you can try things as you want and decide what you like. I got this,” Mason pulled out a small purple and silver sequined notebook with a pen that was wrapped in purple velvet, “so you can write down what do like, don’t like, favorites, flavors you want to try, and whatever else you can think of. I got you this prepaid card so you’re able to buy your favorites whenever you want and if you’re ever hungry while you’re not at home you can use it until your debit card gets set up, but mom and dad will talk to you about that like I mentioned earlier. Riley, Mason, Bethany, I transferred some money into each of your accounts so it didn’t seem unfair and got each of you some of your favorite snacks and candies. Mom and dad, well, enjoy your Thursday date night on me this week.” This was met with a chorus of thank you’s and hugs, everyone very grateful for the gifts they’d been given.

Selene, however, stood exactly where she was as she stared into the tote at one thing that had not been mentioned. A tear slid down her cheek as she picked up the new shoes that looked exactly her size, “Are… Marcus…. Are these for me?”

“Oh, yeah. I saw the wolf you carried yesterday and I don’t know your favorite color but purple seems like a good color. I really hope you-“ Marcus got caught off guard as Selene threw her arms around his middle and laid her head against his stomach, the shoes lightly thudding against his back as she gripped them tightly. Marcus had read the psychology books, and the adoption books; when his parents told him at 13 he was finally getting a sister and that they were adopting- he wasn’t sure what that meant but he was sure he wanted to be the best big brother he could possibly be. So, he read everything he could get his hands on about it. He knew that most cases went one of two ways, either the adopted child distanced themselves- like Bethany did for the first couple years- or like with Selene, they clung. Selene wanted, craved even, the love of a family. He squatted down in front of her and lifted her into a standing hug after she moved her arms to wrap around his shoulders. His arms wrapped over themselves around her middle as she clung to him. He looked at his parents and both of them were staring at Selene with mystified expressions.

“Little sister, I am going to sit you on the counter okay? I can help you put your new shoes on if you’d like.” Marcus waited until he felt the nod on his shoulder before setting her down. As he stepped back he realized why his parents were mystified. Selene sat there hugging her shoes to her lap, beaming at them. With her smile lighting up not just her eyes, but also the room, he realized the true meaning of a contagious smile. He leaned down and carefully untied the dirty, worn shoes that he was sure at one point were supposed to be white and pulled them off her feet before setting them to the side. Marcus patiently held his hands out for the new shoes and once he had them accepted the kitchen scissors from Bethany to cut the cord holding the pair of shoes together.

“Let me know if they’re not comfortable, there were plenty of sizes there these just looked right.” Marcus glanced at Selene’s face with enough time to see the nod she gave him, her mouth still stretched open in a wide smile, the type of smile that comes from true joy and if its held for too long your face starts to hurt. Opening the Velcro straps, Marcus pulled the tongue of the shoe forward and slid the purple shoe with the wolf onto her foot. After he secured the Velcro straps, Selene moved her foot side to side, ankle twisting to catch the light on the in laid glitter. It wasn’t that her smile got wider every time her shoe caught the light, it was that she shone brighter. It was as if true joy brought out the light of the moon Goddess Selene was named after- warm, inviting, guiding.

Marcus put Selene’s other shoe on her and she jumped down off the counter, surprising everyone as she landed gracefully. She twisted her feet side-to-side while admiring her new shoes with a smile that had everyone teary eyed all over again. Sierra started directing everyone to load up in the family van and the discussion about what and where to eat started energetically.