Something is changing
747 Words
On the third day after I woke up, I was sitting on one of the sofas in the sunroom, wrapped in a blanket, staring outside. It was raining. The kind of steady, endless drizzle that made the world feel quieter. I didn’t hear him come in, but the shift in the air.
He stood a few feet behind me, he didn't say a word. I looked over my shoulder. "You’re watching me again."
Cassian didn't say anything, he just moved forward and sat on the other end of the couch. "You didn’t scream last night." he said looking straight into my eye.
I stared at him. "You came into my room again?" He shrugged like it was nothing. "I always do."
I didn’t know how to respond to that, my stomach tightened. There was something disturbing about it, but also… strangely comforting. "Why?"
He didn’t answer, he leaned back and looked out at the rain. We sat in silence for a while. I didn’t know how to act around him. The fear hadn’t disappeared, not completely. But it wasn’t the only thing I felt anymore.
My feelings were a mess; Confusion, frustration, curiosity, maybe even a bit of something dangerously close to longing.
"Do you ever regret it?" I asked, surprising myself. "Regret what?"
"This, your life, being a mafia lord?."
Cassian turned his head slowly, our eyes met. For a long moment, he said nothing.
Then, quietly, "There's no use regretting what can't be changed."
I stared at him, he didn't sound sarcastic or mighty. He just sounded like a broken man.
He stood up and walked past me. But as he did, his hand brushed the back of my shoulder. It was barely a touch, but enough it left a trail of heat.
Throughout that day, I didn't see Cassian again. The next day, feeling much better, I decided to visit the Library and distract myself with books since I was bored. It was late afternoon, the golden light streaming in through the tall windows made everything feel warmer, softer.
"You always come here to sulk?" I heard behind me and spun around.
I came face to face with Cassian, "You always follow me?" I shot back without thinking.
"I wouldn’t call it following," he said, then walked towards the chairs and pulled out two. "More like checking in."
I sat down, the chairs were close to each other. I breathed in his scent, he smelled clean and masculine.
I closed the book that was in my hand. "What do you want?"
He leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs, watching me with eyes that saw too much. "You still haven’t asked why I saved you."
I hesitated. "Would you have told me if I did?"
His lips curved, not quite a smile. "Probably not." He reached out then, slowly, like he was giving me a chance to pull away. His fingers brushed mine, I didn’t move. He took that as permission. His hand wrapped gently around mine.
It wasn't possessive this time, it was warm. My chest tightened, I hated that it felt good.
He looked down at our hands, then back up at me. "I’m not good, Anya."
"I know." I replied him.
"You should stay away from me."
"I can’t, you said I was yours remember."
His jaw clenched, then he let go and stood, Pacing.
"You don’t know what you’re doing," he said, more to himself than to me.
"Then tell me," I said, standing too. "Tell me what I’m doing. Because I don’t understand this, whatever this is."
He turned sharply, closing the space between us. His hand came up to my jaw, not rough, but firm. His thumb brushed my cheek.
"You’re making me want things I have no right wanting," he said slowly.
He dipped his head lower. Our faces were inches apart. "Say the word, and I’ll stop."
I couldn’t say anything, his lips barely touched mine. A ghost of a kiss, just enough to make me ache. Then he pulled back with effort, like it physically pained him to let go.
"Not yet," he murmured.
And just like that, he turned and left, leaving my heart pounding, my hands trembling, and my thoughts in chaos.
That night, I couldn't sleep, the way he looked at me. The way he touched me. The way it made me feel alive and terrified all at once.
Something was changing between us, something I wasn’t sure I could stop.
- Writer
