Their Loving Solitude

Chapter 14 Getting Attached

Caleb's POV

I feel like an i***t not wanting to let go of Mia.. But knowing I have to, just to let her take care of this properly. I'm mad at myself for so many reasons in this.. I should've just stayed in the restaurant with her and walked her out to ensure her safety.. I shouldn't have waited so long to try to find her because I didn't feel comfortable driving.. I should have shot that man in the head before he had a chance to run away. It is so hard not to hate myself right now when I know how badly this man hurt Mia.

I slam the police car door shut from behind me as I shake my head continuously while storming into the police station, seeing all my coworkers giving a look of pity, and I hate it. I'm so livid about everything right now, just wishing I knew who the assailant was so I could bash his head in.

My eyes trail around the room, but I quickly notice that Mia is nowhere to be seen. I start storming around the room, looking in every corner. "Where is she?" I demand as no one answers me, but they know who I am talking about since they still have pity-filled eyes. "Officer Michaels, you need to calm down.. she is safe," I hear as I shake my head because that's not what I was asking. "Where is she?" I snap, punching the wall as I throw some papers off of the top of the desk besides me, feeling my anger at an all-time high. No one will give me an answer. So fine, I'll take this into my own hands since no one will help me.

So I start checking interrogation rooms until I feel a grip on my arm as I'm flipped around.. My arm goes up to punch the man trying to come in between me getting back to Mia, until I realized it's my Sargeant. "Where is she?" I demand through clenched teeth as he shakes his head at me. "You need to go home." He demands as I shake my head. "I will not leave her.. tell me where she is, sir." I demand from him as he spats right back. "She is with the nurse as she collects the evidence."

I turn walking away from him and head straight for that room as he grips my arm again and pulls me back. "Officer Michaels! you can not go in there." He yells at me as I rip my arm out of his grip, trying to keep going. "Try and f*cking stop me.. she needs me and I'm going to be there for her!" I yell back as I try to move away from him, but he just shoves me against the wall and holding me there under him. My chest is being pressed against by his forearm.

"Hey." he says nicely to me as I look away, but then he snaps at me. "Look at me! I know you care for this girl more than our jobs make us care." I shake my head, but I don't outwardly deny it.. I think he knows that I can't deny it because of him intently staring at me. I try to avoid his stare, but nothing can make me shake this intense feeling that is hitting straight to my heart. I can feel my eyes watering at the thought that I might be letting her down like I already let her down.

"I can see your feelings for her all over your face, so don't even try to deny how you're connecting work with personal life.. which, you know, is the number thing to not do.. But no matter what your relationship is with this girl, I will not allow you to go into there while they are stripping her down and taking tests that no woman wants to have to take... this is hard enough on her without an audience, and I won't let you scar her further. I know you want to help her, but you're not helping at the moment." He snaps at me as I shove him off, knowing he is right.

He pushes me back, getting in my face as he demands. "You control yourself, officer... I know how much this hurts, so don't you dare dismiss me in this. But you need to be able to control your feelings for not just yourself but also her." I open my mouth to respond as we hear the door she is behind, opening across the hall. We both freeze as my gaze glues straight to Mia, who is being walked out from the room, bundled up in my sweater as she looks at me then my Sargeant, knowing we are having an intense conversation.. but even though she looks worried for me, the nurse leads her away.

"You're getting too involved in this case. You have been researching from afar and doing fine, but now that you are getting close, I think you're getting too close, Michaels." My Sargeant whispers to me as I shake my head. "I am not, sir." He scoffs at that about ready to call my bluff that could get me in trouble.

"If you're not, then tell me why I have to be here restraining you like a calf being hog tied just to get you away from this girl.. she is not your assignment, and you are getting too involved with her." I shake my head, staring at her from across the room, knowing he is right, and I knew this was going to be a problem. But I don't want to have to be done with her. There is something about her.. I have a connection with her that I have never experienced with anyone else.. She is fun and smart... and probably the sweetest woman I have ever met.. I don't want this to have to stop. Especially when it only just started.

"You need to stay away from her so you don't do anything stupid to jeopardize this investigation." I clenched my teeth as I shook my head.. "You can't keep me from her, but I will give her tonight so I can search for the man who did this to her." I spat at him as he shoves me against the wall again because this pushes him too far apparently as he starts yelling. "You can't go out there acting like a vigilante for this girl!"

"You saw what he did to her! He hurt her, and I won't let him get away with this! He will pay for what he did to her! If it's the last thing I do.. I will make him pay!" I yell back as the room is now completely silent, but I won't take my eyes from his. "You're too attached!" He spats in my face as I spat right back."Fine, I admit it! I'm attached! But I won't let this happen to her again! I will protect her! and make him pay for how he hurt her!"

I feel the rage radiating off of me as he snaps in a more demanding tone. "Then I'll take you off of it." I shake my head. "You can take me off of it all you want, but that doesn't mean I will stop." I snap right back going toe-to-toe woth the person I never should. "You're off of this! and if I find out you're still going for him or her, I will have you fired!" He screams at me as I shove him off of me. "I won't stop." I snap at him only inches away from his face.

"Your care and dedication is admirable, Caleb, but I can't let you throw your life away for this girl." He says to me in his fatherly tone. "Did you ever think that I don't think of any of this as throwing it away.. I'm good at what I do, and I will keep doing it, and if my losing this job involves protecting who I care for, then so be it. but you can't do anything to make me stop.. or stay away from her." I state with all the confidence in the world, knowing how I feel and knowing this could cause me my job, but I can always find a new one.

"Caleb.. fine.. you're not off of it, but no more outbreaks and let us take care of the man that did this to her.. if I see you going after him after I give you your gun back, then there will be no saving you or your job because you know exactly where you will go." He snaps at me as I huff out, clenching my jaw just to reply through clenched teeth. "Yes, sir."

"You need to go now before you make a bigger mess of this place and situation.. and that's an order." I look down, feeling ashamed as I'm lead through the station by my fellow officers. I look up only for a moment to see that Mia looks concerned but won't take her eyes from me even while answering the questions asked of her.

"Did you hurt her?! Did you hurt Mia, you disgusting bastard!" I hear as Naomi bursts through the front doors, seeing the police officers around me, escorting me.. making me look as if I am in trouble. She punched me in the face before scratching at me until The police officers separated us. But as they do this, Mia throws herself between us as she faces Naomi while she presses herself up against me. She still has tears in her eyes as she shakes her head, trying to protect me.

"Stop it! He protected me, Nay.. It was the r****t we had heard about on the news.. he got me right after you left.. and Caleb saved me from him.. it wasn't him.. leave him alone.. because you don't know what you're talking about!" Mia yells this at her, causing Naomi to glare at me. "He doesn't care for you, Mia.. he doesn't." She spats in almost a whisper, but with me being so close, I can hear it all. "I think he does.. and I care about him.. so it doesn't matter what you say, Nay." She looks mad as she huffs out, and Mia continues. "Please just calm down and sit over there.. I will explain more once you calm down!" she snaps, and Naomi looks surprised but goes along with it.

I watch Mia flip around, looking livid as her finger points into my chest. "And you.. I love that you care so much for me and my safety that you would do all of this and more for me.. but I won't have you losing your job for me or ruining your life further for me.. that's is not ok. I care for you too, and I want to see where this goes, but I won't start this off by you throwing away the only good things you have.. especially for me.. that's not how it should be.. so please don't go looking for him please, promise me you won't." She begs of me with her big doe pleading eyes.

I huff out as my Sargeant states from behind me. "Now that's a smart and caring woman.. are you going to listen to her plea.. or do I need to just throw you into the jail cell now?" he asks as Mia's eyes beg of me to leave this be. I lean in as I whisper with pain in my words. "But how can I let this go knowing what he did to you, Mia.. I have so much anger inside of me for that man that I think if I did find him, I would murder him for what he has done to you."

Her hand reaches up and caresses over my cheek. "I know.. believe me, if anyone is angry about this, it's me.. but please do this for me.. please help me by being there for me and letting the police do their job." I swallow the lump in my throat as I try to argue,"but Mia." She shakes her head and stops my objection.

"Alright, if this is what I have to do to stop you, then so be it.. Caleb.. If you go after him and do what you want to do to him with all that pent-up anger, then I won't be with you.. I need someone with restraint while caring for me.. if you just let your anger control every move you make, then there is no way I could feel safe with you.. But please just be with me away from this.. please.. I know you care and want to see this man brought to justice, and you don't know how much your dedication means to me.. but please don't do this to yourself.. please." She begs once again as I let out a deep breath and nod.

She surprised me by getting on her toes and pressing her lips into mine for a moment before peeling her lips away just to whisper. "Thank you for everything... you don't know what all of this means to me." I nod as my co-workers lead me out of the building and away from her.

"Man, you're lucky that you came to your senses.. Sargeant was too tempted to throw you into the cells." Officer Stevenson states to me as he pats my back before he adds. "Do you need a ride back, man?" I shake my head. "No, I'm just going to walk back and get the fresh air I need." He looks worried but nods anyways as I turn then walk away from my station and down the street.