Julian's POV
I'm spiraling and I know it, but I can't make it stop.
I keep replaying the kiss over and over. The way I grabbed his shirt. How his mouth felt against mine. The fact that he kissed me back without hesitation.
Every time the memory surfaces, I swear under my breath and punch whatever's closest. The wall takes most of my anger tonight.
"f**k," I mutter, slamming my fist into the drywall. Pain shoots up my arm but does nothing to clear my head.
My knuckles are bruised and scraped now, raw and angry. I stare at them in the dim light of my dorm room.
I tell myself it was nothing but anger. Just two guys fighting, whose wires got crossed, but my chest tightens at the obvious lie.
But panic creeps in anyway, wrapping around me. I start questioning everything I
