The Real Us (A world of werewolves series)

Chapter 15: The truth comes out

I realised I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore if I wanted to make sure it hadn’t been harmed or affected in any way, so, reluctantly repeating the story again to Jason, I left nothing out and watched his face fall with the horror of it all.

“Jason... there is another thing I need to tell you, but I don’t really know how that will affect you now you’re with Claire.”

He looked up at me confused and getting angrier by the second, his hands clenching into fists and rage filling his eyes as the story sunk in, “What is it, Josie?” He almost gritted through that burning anger, his jaw clenching as he tried to calm himself.

I didn’t know if I could do it then, with both Blaze and Jason staring at me waiting for an answer. Blaze with that cool calm assertiveness of his and Jason with that fire in his eyes bursting for release.

“Josie, come on, what is it? I know you had problems with Claire, but I swear me and her have had nothing to do with Marie since that night. Do you want me to leave her?”

“No it’s not that, it’s just...well I’m pregnant, or I was, I don’t know if they’ve hurt the baby or not.”

Looking into his eyes, I saw for the first time what I had begun to believe wasn’t even possible for someone as detached from emotion as he was, they filled with tears.

“You’re pregnant?” he choked, looking away and trying to blink the tears back.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Is it Sam’s?” he asked slowly, looking straight into my eyes as the tears finally rolled down his face.

“No, I was on the pill with him.”

Jason jumped up and took me to his room before Blaze had a chance to object. From there he cleaned me up as best he could, giving me one of his black t-shirts to wear and some jogging bottoms from my own room.

He helped me p-shift a few times like I had with Sam, but I was still bruised afterwards, but at least the stinging cuts were gone, and it hadn’t been nearly as hard to shift with Jason’s power or aura or whatever it was he could do.

Taking my hand, he gently led me out into the hall where everyone politely pretended not to look as we passed by after one dangerous glare from Jason.

As soon as we started making our way through the forest, I slipped my hand from his.

As much as I wanted him, the attack had left me scared of males even though I knew there was nothing to fear from my own pack.

I felt guilty at his hurt look, but he didn’t say anything, and I was grateful for that. We made it to his car just as Claire came running up calling Jason’s name.

“What do you want, Claire?” He asked, turning to look at her coldly.

“I wanted to see if I could come, that’s all. Oh, I see, Josie comes in all hurt and weak, and you can’t help but run to her rescue like a love sick puppy. I knew you had feelings for her!” she shouted at him.

Jason looked at her stunned for a moment before rage filled his face, but as quickly as it had come it was gone, replaced with a cold calmness.

Walking over to her, he put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her lips before saying gently, “Claire, just go back and wait for us alright. I’m only taking her to the hospital to make sure she’s alright, nothing more.”

We finally reached the hospital, with my heart doing odd little flips as I recalled Claire whining because she didn’t trust Jason with me alone as he was always talking to her about me. Surely that meant he felt something for me, right?

The lady checked me over and said the baby was healthy and fine as we listened to the heart beat. It was the only time that day I had smiled as I listened to it beating and feeling so grateful it was safe.

It also turned out I had two fractured ribs, which explained why I was struggling to breathe, a broken nose and a sprained thigh from where they had forced my legs open when I tried to fight back.

Back at the mansion, Jason went straight back to Claire as he had promised, smothering her in kisses and cuddles and giving her all the attention a woman craves from her man.

Selfishly, I had hoped that me having his baby would have made him leave her, but that was why I loved him so much.

Jason was loyal and protective of his mate, no matter how much they might hurt him or what problems they had.

I remembered learning all this from Jane, and it was certainly true as I watched him with Claire. It cut through my heart like a knife, but how could I expect him to be any less of a man.

Halfway through a film I hadn’t been able to concentrate on at all and after having to tell Sam everything and seeing his shocked face, I wondered if that was why Jason didn’t want me, because of what had happened.

Thinking this thought and filled with jealousy, I got up and stormed out of the room, well, more stumbled and hobbled than anything.

I meant to make it unnoticeable and dignified, but Jason caught my face before I could look away and hurried after me.

“What’s wrong, do you need to talk?” he asked kindly and gently, which I knew was a real effort for him as he didn’t do kind and gentle, but after the day I’d had and my pregnancy hormones I was snappy and irritable as I answered, “Not to you, I don’t. Where’s Blaze?”

“Josie, come on, don’t be like that. You’re carrying my child and I want you to both be ok. Tell me where those bastards were staying and I’ll sort all this mess out. I’ll f*****g kill them.”

He looked like he genuinely cared and as I looked back at that face I lost it and started to cry. Again.

“Josie, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to push you, come here,” he said, coming to hug me. I pushed him back.

“Don’t you touch me, just go back to your precious Claire and shower her with your love, f**k me and the baby, just get on with your own life!” I growled.

He looked hurt and confused before I ran off to my room embarrassed, confused and probably still in shock. Everything that happened today still seemed like a dream, and my mind just wouldn’t accept the reality of it all.

I cried into my pillows for what must have been hours until a quiet knock on my door snapped me out of it and I tried to make myself look decent, (or as decent as I could) before telling them to come in.

“Josie, I’ve been so worried about you,” said Sam, coming in and trying to hug me. I pushed him away after a few seconds and stood up.

I couldn’t bear to be touched right then by anyone, but I should have wanted to by my mate right? A pang of guilt hit me for not being stronger and letting him.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not meeting his eyes, “I just can’t bear to be touched right now. I’m so sorry Sam, it’s just too soon.”

Before he could answer Blaze came into the room and asked gently, “Sam, I need to have a quiet word with her if that’s alright?”

Sam looked at me sadly, but surprisingly, he came and knelt in front of me and took my hands in his. “I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, and you don’t need to be sorry for anything, I understand this is all too much right now, and I hear you’re pregnant?”

I nodded and he smiled tenderly at me, “I know it’s Jason’s as we’ve been using protection, you didn’t have to hide it from me. I think we both know I’m not exactly the settling down type, so I understand if you can’t be with me. And let’s face it, I think we’ve both known deep down that Jason is your true mate.”

Tears fell down my cheeks, everything he had said was true, but it still hurt to know I’d lose Sam as a partner. “Hey, don’t cry baby,” he whispered and stroked my tears away.

“Can I hug you?” He asked.

I thought about it, and knowing this would probably be my last time feeling him hold me as a mate I nodded. He very gently pulled me in to his arms and held me. I think he could feel me becoming a little overwhelmed with being touched and he gently kissed my forehead and let me go. He smiled softly at Blaze and left us alone.

Sitting back down on the bed I waited to hear what Blaze had to say. Coming over and sitting beside me, he rested his hand gently on my shoulder.

It was strange how Blaze was the only person I didn’t feel the need to shrink away from. Maybe it was the fact he was Alpha, I thought to myself, but mostly I just think it was him.

“Josie, I know you’ve been through a lot and I also know that you and Jason seem to have certain feelings for each other, but—“

“He told you what I said to him then?”

“Yes, and he’s very angry and hurt, but everybody knows that Jason is fiercely protective and loyal towards his mate, even if he does care deeply for you, he won’t leave her easily.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” I asked, deliberately avoiding the subject and not meeting his eyes.

“Of course you can. Whatever makes you feel safe.” I stayed in Blaze’s room for over a month. I had practically moved in there with my clothes folded up in the corner of the room, but if it bothered him, he didn’t show it.

I had grown really close to Blaze, like I had with Jason and Jane, but we seemed to connect on a deeper level.

Both of us had loved wolves and everything to do with werewolves when we had been human. I had learnt that Jason had been the one to change Blaze when the gene hadn’t been passed down to him and he’d felt left out, and we also shared a love for horrors and martial arts, although I was rubbish at doing actual martial arts, but Blaze was happy to show me some moves and teach me sometimes.

As me and Blaze sat down in the cinema, it felt strange to not have Jane with me. Lately, I hadn’t seen much of her as she and Michael had gone away on holiday. I had to force her to go, she didn’t want to leave me and I don’t think I’d had so many hugs or therapy sessions as I’d had with her. I missed her, and right then I was so happy that I had Blaze supporting me.

He was a brilliant Alpha as well as gorgeous and when I turned to look at him in his seat he must have seen what I was thinking because he leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips, just a quick touch, but left with the feeling of those soft lips all the same.

He pulled back and smiled at me just as the adverts finished, and the lights went down. After the film had finished, we headed home hand in hand, with me grinning like a school girl who had just had her first kiss.

Everybody looked at us as we entered holding hands, but no one said anything, respecting the Alphas private life when he didn’t explain himself. Jason on the other hand showed a flicker of jealousy before hiding it behind that cold look he always had when he didn’t want you to know what he was thinking.

I admit I was slightly happy at his expression because at least I knew he still cared.

Over the next three months, I still had horrific nightmares about the attack. I’d been having real therapy to help though and slowly I was dealing with it better and better.

As Blaze gently laid me back on the bed, I didn’t feel scared only desire as he climbed on top of me, (both of us fully clothed) and began to kiss me softly and delicately.

After a while, I pushed my tongue into his mouth and deepened the kiss. I knew he was being careful because of what had happened to me, but I trusted him and was genuinely starting to have feelings for him.

Blaze put his hand down my trousers and panties, and gently pushed his fingers inside and began fingering me, just as Jason chose that moment to yank open the bedroom door and walk right in as usual.

Blaze jumped off me so fast it actually hurt when he moved his fingers away. “Ouch!” I yelped, putting my hand where it hurt.

“Sorry sweetheart,” he rushed back over to sit next to me and wrapped an arm round my shoulders.

“What the hell is going on?” Jason demanded.

“Nothing that concerns you right now,” answered Blaze softly, but dangerously at the same time.

“She’s carrying my child, so yeah, I think it concerns me,” he growled.

“Hold on Jason, you decided to be with Claire, so no, who I decide to mate with has nothing to do with you anymore,” I answered angrily, standing up to challenge him and meeting his eyes.

Damn, I must still be in shock if I was stupid enough to do such a thing. Jason was an Alpha wolf, and I was an omega. I knew I’d regret it, but I was too stubborn to back down or even care anymore.

Meeting my eyes, he came over and met my challenge, putting his forehead against mine, much the same way he had done to Michael.

He growled softly, but it was terrifying as I looked into those wolf eyes, more wild in them than any human or other werewolf I had ever met. I braced myself for a blow.

I knew Blaze wouldn’t interfere, as it wasn’t his challenge or place to do so. I looked straight back into those eyes, but instead of giving a challenging look, I just felt scared and a deep longing ache inside my heart for the love I had for him.

I put that all into my eyes for him to read, so maybe just maybe, he wouldn’t be too hard on me.

I was entirely shocked when he pushed me hard against the wall and punched it so hard it cracked inches next to my face, leaving a print of his blood that was now dripping onto the hardwood floor from his fist. I thought he would turn on me next and braced myself.

He suddenly fell to his knees in front of me as though defeated. It was strange seeing a wolf that was usually so strong, cold and terrifying become almost submissive before me.

I didn’t know what to do at first, so I just laid my hand on his shoulder awkwardly.

At my touch, Jason reached out and hugged my legs tightly. “Please Josie...not Blaze...fuck it!” he growled, getting up off the floor and becoming his terrifyingly angry self again.

“I don’t want you with anyone else, especially not my uncle!” he shouted at me.

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid that choice isn’t up to you,” I replied quietly and made damn sure I kept my gaze away from his this time.

“You want to bet?” he dragged me by the arm and started to lead me out of the hall when he was stopped by Blaze, who stepped in to his path.

“Jason, let her go,” he said quietly, almost as though he were talking to a crazy person.

“I’m not going to hurt her, you know me better than that, Blaze.” With that Jason took us to his room and locked the door.

He came over toward me and I moved back until I was backed up against the wall, and he was resting his hands either side of me pinning me in.

It brought back memories of the last time we had s*x making me blush and look away. I could only imagine the amount of s*x he was now having with Claire, who was even closer to him than I had ever been, being his actual mate and all.

It wasn’t perfect yet, but with therapy helping I was able to think about s*x and even enjoy foreplay, as I hadn’t gotten to the stage of s*x with Blaze yet.

I had even caught Sam having s*x in the shower with his new girlfriend and not freaked out or been triggered, just blushed like crazy and ran out. I was glad he was happy and that we were still friends.

I came back to reality and turned my head shyly, but that gave him my neck, and he softly pressed those rosy lips of his along my collarbone delicately as a flower. I didn’t pull away, how could I when I loved him so much.

Pressing himself up against me, I couldn’t help but get all sweaty and hot, my heart pounding faster at the feel of his erection growing hard against my groin that was now suddenly aching for him through the fabric of our jeans.

He kept kissing my neck and gently biting it every now and again, licking me over where he had bitten, softly to begin with, but I noticed with every bite he bit a little harder.

I moaned softly and pushed the dip of my collarbone against his warm soft lips as he kissed and nipped me. The next cry I gave though was one of pain as he bit me hard enough to make me bleed.

I pushed him away and put my hand up to my neck where blood came away. He hadn’t just bitten me, he’d bitten me with his wolf fangs.

I saw them as he moved away just before he changed them back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, getting rid of the blood.

“What the hell did you do that for?” I yelled at him.

He came over to me and I nearly tripped over his clothes as I stumbled back, fear suddenly making my heart race like crazy.

“Josie, don’t be scared of me, it was just a little bite to claim you as mine, that’s all,” he answered, reaching out a hand to touch me.

I slapped it away and gave him the ‘if looks could kill stare’ “You claimed me as your mate!” I yelled, “What the hell do you think Claire will make of that?”

I tried to start for the door, but he blocked my path.

“She will get over it. I told you, I don’t want you with anyone else. You’re carrying my baby and I will not have any man play daddy to it except me!” he snarled.

“Right. I understand. Basically, if you can’t have me then no one can, but seeing as you don’t want me you’re just going to force me to stay a single mother forever well thank you very much you selfish bastard,” I growled and pushed past him to open the door.

Before I left, I stopped, turned around and told him what I couldn’t hide anymore, not caring right then how cheesy or childish it might sound, “Oh and for the record Jason, did it ever occur to you that maybe I want to be with you, the father of my baby. That maybe I love you, and it tears me apart when I see you and Claire together. No, I expect it didn’t,” I said, and stormed off back to Blaze, leaving Jason staring at me in shock.

After a long time of talking and Blaze being angry with Jason, he decided the best punishment would be to become a couple and not let Jason’s claim over me stop us.

Blaze told me one of the reasons he had been chosen to be Alpha was for his incredible control. If it had been any other wolf, he said they would not want to know me as a mate.

Being pregnant and claimed by another wolf would be nearly impossible for them, but somehow Blaze was able to break through that barrier. Blaze also knew how I felt about Jason, had from the start, but he knew I cared for him too and was just happy with that such a lovely man he was.

Next morning, after breakfast, I went into the living room and sat at an empty table.

Unfortunately, for me, Jason and Claire were already sat down and making out in front of me. It hurt though I couldn’t really complain being with Blaze and all, but I was more angry right then after what he had done to me and everything I had told him while he held her and necked her as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened last night.

I was quite happy to ignore them and look away, but as soon as Claire began to rub Jason’s d**k through his trousers I coughed loudly, there was no way I needed to see that.

Jason looked up sharply, no doubt ready to insult the person who dare interrupt them, as soon as he saw it was me, he almost threw Claire off of him who looked back at him confused.

“What’s the matter, babe?” she asked, and nudged back closer to him for a cuddle.

I looked on, surprised when he gently pushed her away and sat forward, resting his arms on his knees.

That’s when she looked at me, then at my neck, where he had left a small scar. Coming over to me, she sniffed it and growled turning back to face him, “Have you started seeing her again?” she asked furiously.

“No I’m not, and I never started seeing her in the first place. I claimed her so that she wouldn’t take a mate,” he looked back at her coldly and without the slightest bit of remorse.

“Why would you do that? It sounds to me like you have an awful lot of feelings for her if you don’t want her with anybody.”

I jumped up to add something when Blaze came into the room looking sexy as ever with his short black hair all tousled in a stylish way, a black t-shirt that showed his rippling muscles followed by jeans and black socks.

My own alpha werewolf, I thought happily.

“Doesn’t matter Claire,” Blaze interrupted, “me and Josie are together now. The bite doesn’t bother me, as Jason should have known.”

Coming into the room he wrapped his arms around me, shocking everyone including myself, he kissed me long and deeply before pulling away, “Want to come to the hall with me?” he murmured.

“Definitely,” I grinned, and walked out, passing Jason on the way, who gave nothing away as to what he was thinking.

I had just begun watching the series “being human” which was about werewolves, vampires, and a ghost, and as I sat watching Blaze eat his breakfast, it seemed to identify us entirely.

Going out in the world and never being known about, although Blaze was no geek like George, I thought smiling to myself stupidly. I liked George’s character, though, he was funny and sweet.

As I was thinking all, this I suddenly had a weird strong urge to make love to Blaze and pulled him by his arm, making him leave his half-eaten breakfast and come to the bedroom.

He looked at me confused when I shut the door. “What are you up to?” he asked suspiciously.

Walking over to him, I didn’t answer. Wrapping my arms round his waist, I reached up to his full rosy lips to kiss him, gosh how those lips reminded me how very related he was to Jason. “Oh,” he whispered, pulling me in against him gently.

Going down onto my knees, I undid his trousers and saw that he was just as big as Jason.

I quickly pushed that thought away and put him into my mouth. Sighing he pushed his way slowly inside my mouth as I sucked back and forth, each time trying to push himself deeper until I almost gagged and pushed him away.

“Sorry I—“

“Don’t be,” I whispered and pulled him on top of me on the bed. Laying me down naked, he gently started to lick my p***y until I was soaking wet for him, I craved any sort of friction right now and rubbed my p***y against his face.

About halfway through, as I pushed myself against him and cried out, I suddenly had a flashback to Angelo. Pushing Blaze away, I curled up and started to cry.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” he asked gently, coming up to look at me.

“No not you. Just a flashback. Sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t you ever be sorry for that.” He pulled me into a hug and held me for hours while I cried.

I realised that it wasn’t love or even really lust that had me trying to bed Blaze all the time. It was that I was trying to prove to myself that I had moved on, from the attack, from Jason, from everything, but I hadn’t, nowhere near.

After a few hours, we were ready to leave the room when Jason knocked and came in, yes, he actually managed to knock this time.

“I can’t do this Blaze. I love Josie, and I can’t just watch you and her together or pretend to feel for Claire when I don’t. Please can I just have her back?” he looked so desperate and like he hadn’t slept in a while, although even sleep-deprived he was breathtakingly beautiful. Jason’s looks really were unnatural.

“She was never yours to begin with, but if you want her, it’s not me you should be asking.”

Jason looked at me with those gorgeous almond gold eyes, waiting for me to say something.

“You love me?” I asked quietly, my throat still raw from crying.

“More than I’ve ever loved anyone. Like soulmate s**t. I swear if you take me as your mate, I will never leave you or the baby. I know I don’t deserve you, but I promise you will always be protected and loved by me. If you love Blaze, I’ll try to let you be happy, but I need to know how you feel.”

They both looked at me expectantly. Talk about being put on the spot.

“Look, you know I love you Jason, but you’ve hurt me a lot and Blaze, I care deeply for you and I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t know what to say really,” I shuffled my feet and wouldn’t meet their eyes.

“I’ll make this easy for you both, as Alpha I’m telling you and Jason to be together. Better to leave me now than when I’m madly in love,” Blaze whispered the last part and took my face in his hands.

“It could never have truly worked anyway, sweetheart. I didn’t want to tell you, but I would constantly be at battle with my wolf about the baby, and your wolf would always be pining for Jason. Obviously, Jason’s wolf feels the same way and it was only a matter of time before he would have had to give in to it.”

He quietly left the room and put a comforting hand on Jason’s shoulder before closing the door behind us.