December twenty-third, Marcus texts me a photo.
It's him standing in Target, looking completely lost, surrounded by holiday merchandise.
I've been here for 45 minutes. Everything costs either $5 or $50. There's no middle ground. Help.
I laugh out loud. Lily looks over from where she's wrapping presents.
"What?"
I show her the photo. "He's having a Target crisis."
"This is the best thing I've seen all week."
I text back: No help. You have to figure it out. That's the point.
Marcus: This is cruel and unusual punishment.
Me: This is called normal people problems. Welcome.
Marcus: I bought a candle for $12.99. Is that acceptable?
Me: What kind of candle?
Marcus: "Winter Pine." It smells like a forest threw up in a jar.
Me: Perfect. You're learning.
An hour later, he sends another
