Chocolates and Beer

VII

Nothing is going well today. I’m stressing out dealing with the client’s unimaginable demands. Changing plans more often than how I take food and water. It’s better to leave early and have a break. I immediately step out of the office after checking on the rest of my schedule and giving instructions to my staff. I need some fresh air. I need to go to Jeans'. I rush to her only to find her hugging another man. I had never seen him before. I didn’t even know that Jean had a male friend other than me. Is he a family? But who hugs a family like that? I clearly see how happy and excited Jean is. She even initiated the first hug. And she jumped onto him? Why? Is this some kind of drama? I'm having a whirlwind of thoughts until they enter the shop. I think a vein in my head exploded, and I definitely want to go there, but my feet feel so heavy that I can’t move. What if I see something that I shouldn’t see? I urgently dialed her number to make my presence known.

‘Hello?’ Jean answered the call.

‘Hi Jean, uhm, I’ve finished work early. Want to grab lunch with me?’

‘Oh, sorry, not today. I have a visitor.’

‘Is that right, who?’ Yeah, who the hell is that guy?

'Baby girl, close the shop for now. Can you cook something for me…' I heard on the other line, ‘Hello, Jacob, sorry, maybe next time. Okay? Bye.’ She didn’t even let me say another word. “Baby girl?” What hell was that?

Another day in my life. Another flower delivery. This music school seems to like my service, they keep on putting orders. I was on my way out when I heard a familiar sound. I stopped in front of what seemed to be a music room and saw a young man playing the piano through the glass door. I remember now. This was the piece I played in the very first competition I joined. I was absorbed in music and recalled all the things that happened at that time. The disappointment, the way my mother comforted me when I lost. The way she always had my back. The times we shared. That time we had breakfast together. Those times that I wanted to have again so badly. I'm so into it that I didn't realize that the door was not fully closed, and I almost fell when I absent-mindedly leaned on it.

‘Who’s there?’ the young man asked.

‘Uhm, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.’

‘Who are you? I don’t think I’ve heard of you before. A new student?’ "Heard?” I thought to myself, as I quietly approached the boy. I got curious about the way he looks at me. He's looking at me, but it doesn’t feel like he’s looking at me. The moment I was only a few inches apart from him was when I realized why. He can't see me.

‘I’m not a student here, I just delivered something,’ I explained. Behind the calm appearance, I felt like the young man was quite nervous. I want to make him feel that I intend no harm.

‘Oh, alright. Sorry If I shouted.’ He replied with a short but sweet smile on his face. I think his calm now.

‘Jean?’ Both the man and I turned to where the voice came from.

‘Jacob.’ I said, with a smile. ‘Hi.’ I never expected to see him today. After that last phone call that I briefly answered, Jacob seemed to be keeping his distance from me.

‘Oh, you know my brother?’ the young man asked.

‘Ah yeah, we’re friends. I guess.’

‘This is my brother, Jin. Jin, this is my precious friend, Jean. You technically have the same name with different spellings. She’s the girl who gave us the roses,’ Jacob said with a little laugh. I'm glad it's not awkward at all.

'Hi, I’m Jin, nice to meet you. Thank you for the roses. I really like them. I've been taking care of it.'

‘Really, nice to hear that. You must be really good at this stuff, don’t you? Nice to meet you, too.’ I replied and accepted the hand he offered and shook it gently.

‘What are you doing here, delivery?’ Jacob then asked me.

‘Yeah.’

‘I told you to just have someone to do it for you.’ He protested.

‘Nah, it’s fine. It’s on the way, anyway.’

‘On the way to what?’ Jacob asked, but Jin interrupted.

‘We’re going to have lunch; would you like to come with us?’ Jin asked.

‘Oh, sorry, I can’t. Someone’s waiting for me outside.’ I apologized. My phone rang signifying that this meeting would be ending in a few seconds. Dan is hurrying me. ‘Oh, Dan. Yeah, give me a minute.’ I then ended the call and faced them again. ‘Sorry, I got to go.’ I just smiled at Jin as if he could see me, and then a quick glance at Jacob. ‘See you around, I guess.’

‘Yeah, next time, let’s hang out.’ Jin replied. My heart was squeezed by his cuteness and politeness. For me, he’s like a 7-year-old cutie in a college boy’s body.

‘Sure, I would love to.’ I then grabbed both of his hands and shook them. ‘And by the way, how should I say it? "I really love the way you play the piano, you reminded me of the beautiful moments in my life.’ Jin’s lips curved to an angelic smile and thanked me for the kind words. But honestly, those words are not just expressing my admiration but also the happiness I'm feeling. I'd always thought that piano would just bring back the sad memories, but hearing him play it did the opposite.

***

‘What is it?’ I asked Jean. She keeps on looking at me. She's been doing it for the past 30 minutes and I can't concentrate on what I'm doing.

‘Hmmm? None.’ She replied. But not even a minute passed by, and she's back on doing it again.

‘Seriously, Jean. I can’t focus. What is it? Just tell me.’ I snorted.

‘Sorry,’ she apologized. Looking down on her food again. There's absolutely something on her mind.

‘C’mon, you can tell me.’ I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. I wanted to make her feel that I could understand and would always be here for her. She gave me a few glances more before she opened her mouth. She stuttered a little but managed to say them.

‘Do you think you can find out more about the accident? Who's the driver, or something like that?’ She finally said, then came a long silence. Of course, I can't. But I don't want to refuse her request. But on the other hand, what's the use of knowing it? I became a prosecutor so I could investigate my mother's death. She was attacked by my "so-called" father. He's an addict, a gambler, a thief. In short, a criminal. I never met him until that day of my 23rd birthday, when he suddenly showed up in front of us. He was asking for money and said that the loan sharks were after him, but my mother pushed him away. That day didn't end nicely, and I thought that he would not come back. Until I got the news that he showed up again in my mother's store. Asking for money. I was not there. The people around tried to help, but it was too late. He stabbed my mother and ran away. She died, and I never get to see her again. Never had the chance to talk to her and tell her how much I love her. I never got the chance to give her the life she deserved. I've always dreamed of buying a house for her. A big one with a big front and backyard. She loves gardening, so I thought that she could plant any vegetables or flowers she wanted there. She also loves to swim, so I planned to put a pool, too. Before Auntie passed away, I wanted to go on vacation outside the country. The four of us. Mother, Aunt, Jean and me. We never had one. Mom and Aunt always worked for me and Jean. I'm regretful, devastated. I felt hurt and useless. I was the only man in our little family and taking care of them was my responsibility. I wanted to guard them and keep them away from harm. But I failed. I studied hard, worked hard and looked for that damn man, only to find that he had committed suicide just a few days after my mom died. Did he feel regret? Guilt? But death was a luxury for him. It didn't even make me happy. His life is nothing compared to my mother's. I guess Jean and I have really no luck when it comes to a father. But we're lucky to have our mother who is always there for us. In all circumstances of life. Unfortunately, we failed to return the favor. I promised to myself that I would take care of Jean. I will never make her cry and will do everything in my power to keep her safe. I will help her if she wants anything, but I hope I am doing the right thing. Yes, her mother died because of cancer, but that accident complicated it. Aunt's body became weaker and rejected the chemotherapy.

‘Why are you suddenly asking this? What are you going to do, if you ever knew?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know,’ she replied.