Chocolates and Beer

XII

'Ah, that was so lame.' I thought to herself as I sat on the back seat on my ride home.

It’s already 3AM but I'm still awake. I'm still embarrassed about the argument we had earlier. Usually, consuming alcohol makes me fall asleep quickly but this time, it just lost its effect on me. The things I said keep replaying in my brain, making me feel more and more ashamed. I went to the kitchen to get something to drink, at least, and distract myself.

‘God, I’m not even his girlfriend, why did I act like that? But he said that he liked me. Why would he say those things? Why is he so defensive? But why did I act so childish?’ I am now having an argument with myself while waiting for the water to boil. ‘And why did I make coffee, I want to sleep, right?’ I growled in a low voice when I realized that I was stirring an instant coffee instead of tea.

I took my cup of coffee to the balcony and sat on a chair surrounded by my plants. The moon shines so bright, making the stars invisible in the night sky. I'd been sitting there for 5 minutes before I noticed Jacob’s car outside.

‘What are you doing here?’ I texted Jacob. Calling him should be faster, but I don't want to hear his voice right now.

‘Just checking if you got home safely,’ he replied.

‘I left the bar at 10, it’s already 3. You should’ve just messaged me.’

‘I know you won’t reply.’

‘I’m texting you right now, aren’t I?’

‘Sorry.’

‘Are you okay? Did you drink again when I left?’

‘Just a little.’

‘Come here.’ Even though I'm still angry, I can’t let him drive home like that.

‘Okay.’

I went to the door and opened it for Jacob. I honestly don't know how I should face him, but I feel guilty. He looks like an abandoned puppy. His bloodshot eyes are making it obvious that he cried. Oh Jacob, what am I going to do with you?

‘Come in.’

‘Mm.’

‘Want some coffee? Are you hungry? I'll cook something really quick.'

‘Mm.’ Jacob said. He just follows me. It feels awkward.

‘Just sit there, I’ll get it for you,’ I said and went to the kitchen.

I was focused on making his coffee when I felt a hug from behind.

‘I’m sorry, Jean. I’m really sorry.’ Jacob’s voice was breaking. He hugs me so tightly, burying his head in my neck.

‘Sorry. Whatever happened earlier, whatever happened in the past, doesn’t mean a thing. I’m serious when I say I love you. I really do. I got jealous. It’s the first time I felt so jealous that I didn’t know how to handle it,’ Jacob said, choking in between the words.

‘I’m sorry, too,’ I replied, while patting Jacob’s head. ‘That was so childish of me. Sorry.’

‘Believe me, I’m really serious about you. I will never ever play with your feelings. I really love you.’

‘Yeah, I love you, too.’ I froze. ‘Oh wait, what did I say?’ I thought to herself.

‘What did you say?’ Jacob asked as he turned my body to face him.

‘What did I say?’ I said, avoiding eye contact. Playing dumb.

‘You love me?’ Jacob asked again.

‘Did I say that?’

‘Jean…’ Jacob said with both his hands holding my arms. His eyes are as big as the smile on his face like a child who was offered a trip to Disneyland.

‘I love you, okay. Stop smiling like that.’ I then hugged him to hide my face. I feel embarrassed but at the same time, I'm happy that I finally said this to him.

‘Oh, gosh. 'I should’ve started a fight with you a long time ago,’ Jacob jokingly said.

‘Wanna fight now?' I teased back.

‘No.’ Jacob said, hugging me tighter. He then lifts me and lets me sit on the kitchen counter. He let go so he could see my face and tucked my hair behind my ears, cupping my face and brushing my cheeks with his thumb.

‘You’re serious, right? It’s not just sympathy. Or the influence of alcohol? You really love me.’

‘I told you. I can chug a dozen beers like its water. I’m serious.’ I paused for a few seconds, admiring the man in front of me. How did I manage to catch a lovely human like this? ‘I love you, Jacob.’ I repeated the confession while looking straight into his eyes. 'I love you so much.' He smiled so brightly while tears were falling down his eyes and rested his forehead on mine.

‘I love you, too, Jean. I love you so much,’ he said before locking his lips with mine.

***

‘Ahhh!’ Gosh, who would call this early.

‘Hel…’

‘Sis! Congrats!’ The person on the other end said before I could even finish my greetings.

‘Jin?’ I was barely awake when I heard Jin’s excited voice. ‘What’s with you this early?’ I asked while part of my soul was still in dreamland.

‘I’ve heard from Jacob. At last. Welcome to the family, Jean.’

‘Jin, we’ve just started dating.' I smiled dearly at Jin’s advanced thinking.

'You’ll end up getting married anyway,’ Jin enthusiastically replied, and I just laughed at his eagerness. They’re really close. I'm sure Jacob told him about us the moment he left earlier to go home.

‘By the way, how are you there?’ I inquired.

‘Hmmm. I’m fine. No good news yet.’ Jin’s voice abruptly fell from cloud 9 to the ground and I felt sadness in his voice.

‘Don’t worry, everything will work out fine. Just hang in there. Good news will come, claim it.’

‘Yeah.’ Jin is still dispirited.

‘You’ll want to see your future nephew, right?’ I teased, and Jin went back to being jolly.

‘Of course, I’m excited. I want a niece, too, please.’

‘This is not a take-out counter, bro!’ both of us laughed. Talking some more before I went back to bed. I just lie in bed and reminisce about what happened last night. Giggling and laughing at myself like an i***t. ‘What? Am I a high school girl? So, this is how it feels. I feel stupid, but I can't stop feeling happy, kicking up the air and burying my face in the pillow.

***

'Hi, Hon. Good morning.'

'Good morning. What are you doing here this early? And Hon?'

'Don’t you like that? How ‘bout baby? Love?'

'Just call me by my name.'

'No. It’s like ownership, so people will know that you’re taken.'

'Am I a thing?'

'No, you’re an angel.'

'Oh, God. What happened to you? And what's that?'

'Groceries.'

'Oh, silly me. Obviously. I mean, why did you bring this?'

'I want to cook something for you.'

'Can you cook?'

'Aha, of course I can. I at least know the basics.'

'Basics. Like fried eggs?'

'You’ll see.'

'But I still have some work to do. I have to go to the shop.'

'Would that take the whole day?'

'Not really, I just need to prepare the orders this morning. I’ll be done by noon, I guess.'

'I see. Can you make it for lunch?'

'Yes, I think I can.'

'I’ll just bring the food to you if you can’t.'

'Sweet. I’ll try to be home before lunch. Okay?' I'm touched by his gesture. I wrapped my arms on his neck and pulled him for a kiss. Jacob is getting sweeter and sweeter each day.

'Okay. I’ll wait here,' he said as he leaned over for more kisses.

The morning had been so busy, and I didn't even notice the time. It's past three, and I totally forgot about Jacob. Stupid me. If this relationship fails, all the blame will be on me. I tried to get home as fast as I could. I hope Jacob is still there.

I opened the door and saw Jacob sleeping on the couch. I quietly lean and caressed his face. Oh Lord, what did I do for you to give me Jacob? I'm truly blessed. I'm silently admiring his beauty when he flinches and slowly open his eyes.

'Good morning.' He greeted me.

'It's not morning yet. "I'm sorry, I'm super late.' I leaned for a kiss in the hope that he would let it pass. And I think it worked because he pulled me and locked me in his arms. It really feels so good being like this.

'It's okay. Hungry? I'll prepare the food. ' We locked lips for a few seconds more before he stood up and went to the kitchen.

***

'Wow, you call these basics?' I'm quite surprised at Jacob's skills. Is he a chef. The food is decorated beautifully. It feels like a crime to take a bite.

'Are you amazed?'

'Did you really cook them? Or did you order them while I was away?'

'Of course not. I practiced many nights to make sure that they'd taste good, and you’re doubting me. That’s sad.'

'I’m sorry, it’s just that. It’s amazing. They look so good.'

'What now? Fall deeper in love with me?'

'I’m already head over heels.'

'Ahh, this is so rewarding.'

'Stop being dramatic, let’s eat. Seriously, this is so good.' I can't help praising Jacob. Every bite feels like heaven. I feel like I'd easily gain weight if he cooked for me all the time.

'I’m glad you like it.' Jacob smiled. He looks satisfied and happy. I'm also happy. My tummy and I are both enjoying this glorious feast.

'Here.' Jacob gave me a can of beer and sat on the floor.

'Thank you. Thanks also for the food. I ate a lot today.'

'Yeah, I saw. Haha. I'm happy you like it. I'll cook more often for you. You should eat a lot. You’re so skinny.' He looks at me like he's sizing up my body.

'What? Can’t you see this muscle?' I showed off my arms. It's a little small, but I'm sure I gained some muscle by lifting flower pots and a bunch of flowers.

'No, I can’t.' he said, grinning.

'Mean. Why are you sitting there? Sit on the couch.'

'It’s comfier here. And I could do this.' He pulled me, and now I'm sitting between his legs. He surely loves back hugging and tucking his chin on my neck. He sniffs me like a fragrant flower.

'Let's cuddle. I missed you.'

'Are you a kid?'

'You were out the entire morning and noon.'

'Oops, sorry.' I feel embarrassed remembering the promise that I didn't fulfill.

'It's okay. You're here with me now.' He sniffed again. Rubbing his cheeks on mine, stealing kisses occasionally. I can't even focus on what I'm watching on the TV.

'Hmmm. Are you going to hate me if I do anything bad to you? If I lie or something like that?' A quick change of atmosphere. I felt like his mind went far from me for a few seconds.

'Where is this coming from?'

'Just asking.'

'It depends. Of course, I will be disappointed. But to the point of hating you, it depends. If you ever lay a finger on me, or cheat. Then it’s over.'

'That’s it?'

'What do you mean? Are you doing something behind my back? Does Ilona text you? I asked in suspicion, but he just laughed.

'You're cute when you're jealous. No, she didn't. I blocked her already.'

'Why did you block her? Are you hiding something from me?'

'Of course not. I just want to cut ties from anything that would make you jealous. I'd rather have you spent your time loving and kissing me than suspecting me. Got that?' He smiled so big and showered me with kisses. 'If that’s all the things you're worrying about, then I’m safe. I won’t ever hurt you or cheat on you.'

'You’re not hiding anything from me, don’t you?'

'Not hiding. But there are things that you don’t know about me yet. So, I'm quite curious if you'll hate me if you discover them one day.'

'Do you already have a child?'

'What? No. Hahaha.'

'Really? Then tell me.'

'Really. I don’t have a child, I promise. Hahahaha.' He then suddenly bit my neck. Maybe it's to distract me. It feels like he doesn't want to tell me yet. Or more like he can't tell me yet.

'Aw, what’s that for?'

'Edward bit Bella,' he said, pointing to the TV screen.

'He didn’t. He kissed her.'

'Ah, really.' Then he kissed my neck, then my lips. “I love you.”

'Seriously. Are you really capable of hurting me?' I said with a serious tone. I know for sure that nobody's perfect, but it never occurs to me that he can hurt me. It feels like a mosquito can’t even come near me whenever I'm with him.

'I can do this.' He smiled as he flicked my forehead.

'Aw.' He hugged me tighter, restraining me.

'Hahaha. Sorry. Forgive me. 'Pretty please,' he said as he playfully nudged my body and kissed my cheeks.

'Fine, fine. What should we watch next?'

'Let’s just have a Twilight marathon.'

'Okay.'