Chocolates and Beer

XVI

A month later after the wedding, another day in everyone's lives, and another day that Jin visits me. It feels more normal now that he's in my house than when he's not around.

"What do you want for dinner, Jin?"

"Anything will do, Sis. My diet is in your hands.

"Eat raw carrots then."

"I'm not a rabbit."

"You look like one though. Look at that bunny's teeth. Haha."

"I'm the most handsome bunny then."

"Yeah, right."

"Do you miss, Jacob?"

"Hmmm? Not really. Why?" I stopped for a second because of Jin's question. After the wedding, something feels off with Jacob. Like he can't look me in the eyes, but when we hug, it feels like he doesn't want to let go. It confused me, but when I asked him if he was okay, he would just say that he was a bit tired. I just learned that he would be abroad for some business through text, and it truly ticked me off. He called me eventually, but it didn't end well. If it was a normal day, Jacob would fly back immediately to explain and clear things out, but what he did instead was to send his brother and make sure that I was eating well and doing great.

"He missed you a lot. He calls me all the time, asking if you have already eaten. Did you go to the shop, did you go out to jog, like what can't you just call her?"

"Yeah, he should've just called me."

"He didn't call you?"

"The last time he did it was a month ago, before he sent you here."

"What's wrong? Did you fight?"

"Not that I remember."

"Hmmm. Sis, please don't get mad. He loves you a lot. I'm sure of that. He will not pester me about you every time if he's not, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"Maybe he's just busy these days."

"Okay. Shut up now, if you can't help me in the kitchen, go clean the garden. Trim the plants and sweep the dried leaves."

"Aye, aye, madame." Good thing this adorable boy is here. I think I'll forgive Jacob because of him.

"Jin? What's wrong?" I asked Jin when I saw him putting on eyedrops.

"Hmmm? Ah, it just feels a little dry."

"C'mon. Sit inside. Are you okay?"

"Yes, Sis. Don't worry."

"I'm sorry. It must be the dust in the garden, and it's hot, too."

"Nah, it's not like that. This is normal sis. Don't worry too much. Is the food ready?"

"Not yet, 10 minutes, okay?"

"Okay." Jin might've noticed that I was still looking at him. "You never asked me." He spoke.

"About what?"

"How did I get blind?"

"Well, it's not that I don't want to ask. Just never really got the chance. And I thought it'd be uncomfortable for you."

"Not really. If it was you, I feel like I could say anything."

"Really? So, what happened?"

"It was an accident. Traffic accident."

"Accident?"

"Yes, it's after a competition. I did not win. So, as an ever-loving brother, Jacob took me to the beach. As requested by yours truly, of course. He can't refuse me."

"He never refused you, though. Haha."

"It was the time when he became busy at his work. He had just started his company, so he barely had time to go out with me. You know that we have quite a big age gap, right?"

"Yeah, and so?"

"It was because we're half-brothers. When he was 10 or 9, mom married my dad. And that's when I came to this world. Jacob is like walking on eggshells whenever we have a family occasion. Those aunts who can never seem to shut their mouths love to make things awkward for him. When his dad died, their business collapsed and that was when my father came onto the scene. He bought their company and, after some years, he married mom. Those Aunties look at Jacob like he's some excess baggage. And I really don't like that. However, growing old, I felt like Jacob's kindness was some kind of mandatory obligation. Like he's just forcing himself to be nice."

"I don't think so. From what I see, your brother loves you so much."

"Yes, that was before though. I'm 100% sure now that my brother loves me. On that day, he tried to cheer me up. The original plan was to have an overnight stay, but he got a call from work. And because I'm an ever-understanding brother, we dropped the idea. My brother was tired, but he still tried to make time for me and that's enough already, so we decided to go home that night. But for some reason, the day that started a little bad, had become a little good, ended in a tragic way. There was a truck in the opposite lane of the road and I think the driver was so tired that he fell asleep for a few seconds, but those few seconds changed our lives."

"What happened?" My heart was already beating fast, so fast that my ears started ringing, and my mind was having a flashback to the day that I lost my mother.

"I don't really recall it anymore, but I remember the truck almost knocked our car down. We lost control and almost hit the bus stop. Oh my God, I remember there were people there. The next thing I knew was that we had swerved and crashed on a tree. I never thought that I would wake up the next day."

"Were there any casualties? I mean, any pedestrian who got involved?"

"Involved?"

"Yes?"

"Hmmm. Yes. But she's okay. I'm happy that nothing serious happened to her."

"That's good." What a relief.

"Yes. I actually wanted to meet her again. I want to see her. She saved our lives."

"What do you mean?"

"Our car crashed, right? And the oil was spilling. I remember someone pulled me out of the car. I managed to open my eyes a bit. It was blurry, and I'm lying on the street not that far from our car. I saw her pulling my brother out of it. And just a few seconds after she managed to take us away from there, the car exploded. Sounds crazy, right? It sounds like a movie but that really happened. She's like a wonder woman." Jin's eyes are glowing, remembering the woman who helped him and his brother. The woman who brought them back from the premonition of death and gave them a second chance to live.

"Yes, she's a superwoman indeed." I agreed.

"Yes, she is. I hope I can meet her again."

"Why not?"

"Hmmm. I don't know. It's a bit hard to find her even with Jacob's help."

"Huh?"

"I actually asked for his help to look for her. And the last news that we had was she migrated. Jacob said that's it's in the US. And after that, he became so busy, and I felt like I was disturbing him too much, so I didn't ask for any follow-up."

"Why not do it yourself? I can help."

"I've tried. But I think I'm still incompetent. Jacob knows all the right people anyway, so I just let him handle it."

"I see." There were a few minutes of silence until we heard the sound of the oven telling us that the roast chicken was all good and ready to be devoured.

"Dinner?" I invited him.

"Yep, let's go." Jin happily accepted.

"Jean, let's have something to eat. I'm a bit hungry," Cecille, my sister-in-law, said while caressing her stomach. I've been helping her organize things in their new home. Dan got promoted at work. While the wife resigned and managed their other sources of income instead. Both of them wanted me to live with them, but I refused. I'm glad that they still think about me, but I shouldn't always be pushing myself in, right? They are starting their own family and I will be supporting them on the sidelines.

"Okay, I'll just finish this. I'll follow you," I replied while organizing some papers in their study room.

"Okay, I'll cook something really quick."

"Alright." I continued what I was doing. I have this where I'm a bit of a perfectionist about things. I organized files according to their colors or sizes. If it's a book, I consider the type of book. I was busy stacking them on the shelf when I noticed an envelope that looked like it belonged in the trash. It's crumpled and a bit dirty. 'Dan might've mixed it up here', I thought. I opened the envelope just to make sure that it's nothing important when a photo fell from it. A photo of a person I never imagined that I would see in my cousin's office. Jacob Montes, 25 years old and another picture. Jin Blanco. 14 years old. I flipped documents in my hand. These are from the hospital. Some papers from the case back then. My hands begin to tremble as I read it. My eyes begin to water as frustrations start to cave in.

***

"Hi honey." I greeted my wife with a quick peck on her lips.

"Hi. I thought you didn't have a plan to go home." After being promoted, I became so busy that I sometimes slept in the office. I feel guilty. We just got married, but we barely spend time together.

"Ahh, I'm sorry. Things are quite hectic and busy."

"I know, I know. I've been there."

"Isn't this too early for dinner?"

"Nah, these are just snacks. I don't want to starve Jean. She's been helping me since this morning."

"Oh, she's here? Where is she?"

"Study room. She's organizing your books and files."

"What?" A sudden chill ran down my spine. I ran to the study room, but it was too late. Jean was already a mess when I arrived. Crying silently, looking at the papers in both her hands.

"Jean?"

"Since when?"

"Jean, it's not what you think."

"I'm asking you? When?"

"3 months ago. After you asked me, I looked for it. That's when I knew."

"3 months? And you didn't tell me? Hah, ha-ha." She started to laugh hysterically, but her eyes are still drowning in tears. "There's no secret between us, right? What happened?"

"Jean, let me explain. It's not like I want to hide it. I just don't want to hurt you."

"But I'm hurting now. If you don't want me to know, then you should've thrown these things away."

"I'm sorry." Right, if I didn't want her to know, then I should've thrown them away. But a part of me still wants to tell her the truth. That's why I kept those documents.

"I'm really sorry." I don't know what to say anymore. I just collapsed in front of her and hugged her tightly.

"It doesn't matter. From here on, can you promise that you'll just tell me the truth?" She grabbed my hands.

"Jean." I held her hands and put it close to my heart.

"Please promise me. No more secrets. Just tell me." She begged.

"Okay, I promise". She sniffed and tried to calm down before saying another word.

"Does he know?" she asked.

"...." I was tight-lipped.

"Does Jacob know?" She asked again. Her breathing is heavy, and she's now gasping for air.

"Jean, he just..."

"Are you on his side now?"

"No, Jean."

"So, does he know?"

"Yes."

"How about Jin?"

"No, Jacob never told him."

"So, we're the ones that were blinded here."

"Jean, no. Please listen to me."

"Does Jacob already know about me or did you tell him about this?"

"He already knows about you. Even before I told him about what I had discovered."

"Jean, I'm really sorry. But Jacob and I don't have any intentions to..." For some reason, I feel like I should defend Jacob. He's sincere in loving Jean and I don't want them to separate. I saw with my own eyes how happy Jean is whenever she's with Jacob.

"Dan!! That was my mother's murderer", she said helplessly. She no longer has the energy to shout, she’s breaking. I've never seen her this fragile before. The pain of losing her mother is all coming back and the pain of knowing the truth is putting more wounds in her heart.

"He killed my mom." She murmured in between my breaths.

"It was an accident, Jean. And Auntie died because of cancer. Don't forget that." I know it hurts, but I can't let her just blindly fool herself.

"Don't talk me out of that reason," she exclaimed. "Mom was doing fine. We got back here because she's all okay."

"No Jean, you got back here because the doctors there can't do anything about her. She was never fine. She only has a little time left. Jean, she just doesn't want you to know," I've been hiding this from her, too. Despite the promise of "no secrets between us". What can I do? A dying woman asked me to keep this a secret, and she personally came to me for this request. To take care of her daughter. To continue being a brother to her. She knew how stubborn her daughter was and knew she would cut ties with her father when she was no longer around. Aunt just wanted to spend the rest of her life with her daughter, worry-free. Without thinking about cancer. Without thinking that their time to be happy has a limitation.