Chocolates and Beer

V

Seven years had passed. Seven years since mom died, and I lost all the reason to live a meaningful life. I graduated from high school and never took a step to university. I never communicated with my father again.

‘If you really want to make it up to me, just leave me alone. Please. That's the best you can do for me as a father.’ Those are the last words I spoke to him. The first and last time I saw my grandparents was at mom's funeral. The only relationship I kept was with Dan. His mother died 3 years after my mom did. He became my parent, my brother, my everything. And I did my best to support and be there for him, too. We only have each other, and we stay together as long as we can.

‘Why now, just when I’m going home!’ I took shelter at the entrance of the school where I delivered some flowers. I only got one order yesterday, and arranged the bouquet this morning, but my assistant did not come to work in the name of "I have an exam and I need to study." And worse, I can't book any couriers. So, I don't have a choice but to do it myself. Business is a bit tough these days, so I tried to make the name of my shop as good as the flowers I sell. I can't be choosy and just cancel orders, right? I have bills to pay, an employee to cater to, and my stomach to feed.

This was supposed to be my university. Mom always talked about it. She’s looking forward to enrolling me here. Bad memories, why do they come to you when the weather is bad? Can't they come to my mind when the sun is up or when the rainbow is peeking? At least to balance it out. 'No crying, Jean. You're past that phase of your life. Stay strong.'

1, 2. My eyes are getting heavy. It seems like they want to copy what the clouds are doing. Take a deep breath...

'Miss! Miss!’ the student called me. Thank God, the irritating voice actually snapped me back to reality. Oh, this is the student who ordered the flowers. According to her, it's for the teacher who's going to tie the knot and will be retiring soon.

'Good thing, you're still here. It suddenly poured, so we thought you might need this.' Then she handed me a yellow flowery umbrella. I'm touched by the gesture but feel kind of hesitant. Even though I own a flower shop, I do not use things that scream "FLOWERS."

"No, it's okay." I humbly refused the offer.

'Ah, but you'll get wet.' The student pouted.

'No, it looks like it's going to stop any time soon anyway. I also have a raincoat on my bike.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, thanks for the offer though. That was so sweet of you. I appreciate it.'

'Okay.' The student smiled. 'By the way, thanks for the flowers.' It's really beautiful. Our teacher liked it.'

'Really? That made me happy. Thank you.'

'We'll order again. Hmmm, I need to go back to class. Thanks again, Miss.'

'Sure, thank you too. Bye.'

'Bye.' The student ran inside the school giggling. A young spirit. Did I ever act that way? I wonder. And just like that, I'm alone once again.

'Hmmm, retiring for the sake of marriage. Why?' I blurted out in a super low voice. Like I'm just whispering my thoughts.

‘Maybe, to focus on starting a family?’ A voice whispered into my ears. It feels so close, but when I turned around, he was actually like 2 feet away from me. “I didn’t ask for your opinion."

‘I’m sorry,’ the guy said. “Did I say that out loud?” I thought.

“Um, hi, we've met again.' He's blushing. I don't know how to react. It's kind of refreshing to see an adult man who is so red like a tomato. Is he shy?

‘Sorry, do I know you?’ I asked.

‘I guess you’ve forgotten. In front of your house, the roses?’

‘My house? Roses?’ I'm trying to locate where in my memory lane these words are related to. He's so handsome, so how can I forget such a face? ‘Ah, you're that guy. I see.’ I snapped my fingers when I finally remembered where and when I met him. ‘Hi, good to see you're well.’ I also remembered how he looked when I first saw him.

‘Yeah, by the way, my name is Jacob.’

‘Jean.’

‘You study here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before. Are you a first-year student?’

‘No, do I look like a student to you? And a first-year student?’ I don't look that young, but because of my height, people often mistake me for a young girl whenever I'm wearing a hoodie, a cap or sunglasses, or whenever my face is not showing much. Though I look younger than my real age of 25, the way I present myself is like a late bloomer kid who doesn't wear make-up, accessories or anything that one would see in a typical girl my age. Dan always nags me about this. He said that if I don't fix it then I should prepare myself to grow old alone.

‘I just delivered flowers here,’ I said in a friendly manner. As much as possible, I don't want to sound rude. For some reason, words escape my mouth not the way they should be delivered. And again, Dan also nags me about this.

‘Ah, I see.’ He shortly replied.

‘How ‘bout you?’

‘I just dropped my brother.’

‘Why can’t he come to school alone? I mean this is a university. I assume he’s a college student? Is he a baby? Still wanted to be catered?'

‘Um, the thing is, he’s blind. So…’

‘Oh.’ Now it's my turn to blush out of embarrassment. ‘How could I touch such a sensitive matter out of nowhere?’ Ah, Jean, you should mind your words.’

‘Do you have time? Would you mind having some coffee with me? We don’t need to walk in this rain. It’s just along this alley. It’s part of the school property. Just a little thank you for the roses,’ Jacob said eagerly. I kind of wanted to refuse, but how can I do that after being insensitive earlier?

‘Okay. I’m a little cold anyway.’

'Great. Shall we?' I nod in agreement and he leads the way.

‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to say those things to your brother.’ I finally managed to utter the words. Seriously, I should be limiting my words to "Yes", "Really", or "is that so?" if I don't know the details.

‘It’s okay. It’s not like you knew.’

‘Do you do that every day?

‘What?’

‘Driving your brother to school?’

‘Hmmm, no. Just when I feel like doing so, or when my brother asks me to. Usually, it’s his driver who does it. But today, for some reason, I woke up thinking that I'd come here, like I really wanted to come here. Who would’ve thought it was because I would see you?!’ I don't know if he's trying to be cheesy or what, but if that's the case, the feeling did not come across the table. He looked down on his drink after not receiving any reaction from me. Am I being insensitive again?

‘Do you work in a flower shop? Earlier, you said you delivered flowers,’ he asked.

‘I run a small flower shop.’

‘You should’ve just booked a delivery, or hired a helper, maybe.’

‘I do have one, just a part-timer though, but he has an exam. And I can't book any couriers, so I just deliver it myself. It's not that far from here anyway. And…’, a short pause, ‘you wouldn’t see me today if I’d booked one, so maybe this is some work by the universe.’ I tried to return the favor and deliver the same lines, but he just choked on his coffee. Maybe, being cheesy or romantic is not really for me.