Being Enamored By Him

She is gone

Kabir's POV

It is not easy to deal with heartbreak and it is even more difficult when the person whom you love the most in this whole entire world left you behind without thinking through it for a second. It is a feeling which one never wants to experience ever......

The moment Naina left I didn't stop her as I wasn't able to think straight. I held my head in my hands and I didn't even realize that I was crying until I tasted salted water on my lips. I was crying because I broke her trust. She was the best thing that happened to me but I myself ruined it with my own bare hands! Naina left me... She doesn't want me to touch her. She botched everything that we ever had. The pang in my chest was increasing that even after rubbing it badly I was not feeling relieved. This was for the first time when I was in a lot of pain and nobody was there for me. It was getting difficult for me to breathe as Naina's words soak into my mind.

I got up from the floor wiped my tear stained face and went towards the kitchen where we keep alcohol. I need something to soothe myself just for now I want to forget everything, want to be numb of every emotion that was going on in me right this moment. Everything was hurting soo f*****g much that I just wanted everything to end. The moment I took a sip I felt good, I felt relieved and within a few minutes, the whole bottle was empty. I didn't know what time it was and didn't even bother to check, for me my whole world was gone. Everything was ruined and I ruined it. I wasn't paying any attention to anything my phone was vibrating continuously but at that moment I hardly care about anything. I opened another bottle and just when I was about to gulp it down I froze....

"Please, Kabir don't do this to yourself," somebody said but i couldn't make out who it was. But the voice looked familiar. I kept the bottle down and rubbed my eyes to get a better view then I saw Naina was standing there crying. My vision was blurred but I know and I could recognize her it was Naina.....

"No no please don't cry baby. Please, Naina don't cry" I said to her and stumbled the moment I stood up but she was quick as she catch me from falling.

"I knew it you will never leave me," I said to her holding her hand.

"What are you doing to yourself Kabir?" She beseeched.

"What am I doing Naina? Please don't leave me.. I cannot live without you. Please" I said to her and hugged her but she didn't hug me back.

"No Kabir I can't live with you anymore. Please keep your hands off me kabir." She said but I tightened my hold her.

"No! I promised I will never let you go." I whispered in her ears. She flinched when my lips kissed her neck and she pushed me soo hard that I stumbled back.

"Don't touch me! I hate you" Naina yelled and was gone.

"Naina, " I yelled but soon realised that I was hallucinating. She doesn't want me to touch her. She left me..... I slept on the floor itself but my head was hurting badly...... after that I didn't remember a thing as I passed out right there shivering in cold...

----------------------------------------

Next morning when I woke up with a hangover my head was hurting so damn much that I wasn't even able to sit properly. After taking a good twenty minutes I finally realised that I slept on the floor and then everything came to me. What happened yesterday? Naina left me and I didn't stop her instead I got drunk!

At that moment seriously I hated myself more than anything. How could I let this happen? I held my head in my hands and thought I can never even think of cheating Naina. She is the only person in my life whom I love so much that even the thought of her being with someone makes me furious and sick. I should have told her about Avantika! But I never thought She will stoop so low just to prove that she still has feelings for me. I should've cleared everything to her when we first met in my office but she is a shrewd woman and knows how to manipulate things. The moment I wanted to talk about Naina to her she immediately switched the topic telling me about her life. She told me that she loves me a lot and that decision of hers of leaving me was kiddish and she wasn't cognizant of what she was doing at that time. I mean that happened 8 years ago God damnit. According to her, I am still where she left me waiting for her. I know why she wants to be with me just because now I am a successful man and have a s**t load of money. That rapscallion destroyed my relationship with Naina and she has to pay for it.

When Naina was with me everything was f*****g perfect infact if there is a word more than perfect then this was it. I being the asshole that I am ruined it but I know I have to fix everything and figure something out.

I was missing Naina that was definitely an understatement! I need her so much but her phone was switched off. Firstly she was just not picking my phone but now she has turned her phone off damnit. I made my way towards our bedroom and the first thing that I saw was how messed up everything was. Our closet was open but was half empty. Only my clothes were there, everything that was of Naina was now gone!

I opened one of the drawers and took out our wedding photographs. She just look like a Angel... my Angel I thought....

I ended up watching our wedding videos! How come she is just so beautiful? It should be illegal to be this beautiful. It is said that a girl looks the most beautiful at her wedding but when it comes to my Naina, she looks exquisite everyday. She is natural and I always feel blessed to have her until now. I didn't even realise that I was crying like a baby. Right now I was a mess with my one hand I was holding a liquor bottle and with the other, I am pausing the video again and again to take a better look at Naina. With that I didn't even realise when I drifted to sleep repeating one name over and over that is Naina... my love my life and my wife.....

I cannot let this happen. I have to do something. I will not be able to live without her. She is my everything. My body my soul all belongs to Naina. I want to her back. I promised her that I will never let her go. But I winced in pain when I remember those painful words that she said,

"You know what Kabir I don't want this and don't you dare touch me. I am feeling soo filthy, dirty right now that I am hating every single moment when your hands were on me and till now those were the most blissful moments of my life but now they are the worst part of my life and I never want your hands on me again ever! So don't touch me!"

She said these words with soo much venom that my heart was ripped apart listening to her.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know what day it was or how many days its been since Naina left me but one thing which I was so sure of is that I am still in hope of everything being a dream that anytime Naina will come and wake me up by showering her sweet kisses and just for more I will pretend that I am still in my deep slumber....

But nope this is not a movie where in the end everything becomes okay this is f*****g reality of my life in which I myself f****d up everything.

"Kabir" someone yelled my name. I thought I was hallucinating or I was still drunk but no someone was indeed calling or rather I should say calling my name over and over which made me feel as if someone was yelling in my ears. Slowly I made my towards the living room and what I saw was something I surely wasn't expecting. There stood my whole family. Maa, dad, Arav bhai they all looked furious but worried as well. I froze thinking about how am I going to explain everything to them? How will I tell them that because my own stupidity Naina left me.....