Being Enamored By Him

Hard

I wish I had someone who will be by my side forever. A person whom I can trust with everything, my heart, mind, body, and soul...

But unfortunately, it's not possible to find someone so special on this earth so easily...

Naina's POV

It's been three days since I came to Toronto. Previously when I used to think about being here, it used to feel like a dream to me. From the beginning, I wanted to be out of India and now when I am actually here I don't know whether I should be happy about it or how should I even react. I am here just because of one person that is Kabir. I am feeling pathetic right now just because I ended up loving him so much that it has become really hard for me to understand what my mind and heart wants! From the last three days I am living my life like I have lost everything that was once mine. This emptiness that I have been experiencing is really like going through hell......

The first thing that I did that day was I went straight to the airport and booked a ticket for Toronto. I wasn't crying or anything I was just numb my eyes were puffy and swollen, I personally looked like a mess. In fact, everybody at the airport was giving me strange looks as if I didn't belong there. Throughout the flight I couldn't sleep I was just thinking about my decision whether I did the right thing or not. My heart was literally beating soo wildly as if telling me I did the stupidest thing in my life but my mind was at peace. I never wanted to be like my mother, I cannot live with a person who doesn't respect me or doesn't love me. But the question which was bugging me throughout was did Kabir ever loved me or respected me enough? Whatever we had was just a hoax? But everything that he did was so sweet that every time he took a piece of me with him and now I feel too incomplete without him! But no I cannot be weak I have to go on with my life. I have to stop with all this, this is what I thought all the time during the flight and the moment I closed my eyes everything every moment that we spent together rushed through my eyes making we shiver... this was how my whole plane travel went.

Finally, after reaching Toronto I took a cab and went straight to Kia's apartment. And the moment she opened it without even thinking for a second I hugged her and involuntarily I sobbed hard. I didn't even realize that it was four o clock in the morning. But instead of bombarding me with questions she led me inside and hugged me, like a baby I cried and the worst part was I didn't even know why the hell was I crying. But the pain that was there in my chest was hurting so f*****g much that I couldn't help it! What I love about Kia the most is she will never pressurize you for anything unless and until you are ready to share with her and this time too she gave me my space. In fact, more than anything she took care of me. I was soo tired of everything that I slept in her living hall on a couch. Next day when I was up my whole body was aching terribly, my head was ready to explode and I was shivering. The moment Kia saw me like this she rushed to me and checked my temperature and scowled.

"You have a terrible fever Naina," she said with a scowl on her impeccable face.

"Uhuh" I wasn't in a condition to even say a single word so I just nodded my head.

"Just get up from here and let's get you to bed. Otherwise, it will get worse and your sweet arrogant husband will kill me for mistreating you," zShe said amusingly and I winced thinking of what Kabir must be doing right now. She seemed to sense this but didn't ask me anything for which I was really grateful for. Pushing this thought aside I helped myself and got up from the couch and followed Kia. After again tucking me back into bed and covering me with duvet she asked me one thing,

"Do you want to talk about it? " she asked seriously. I thought for a moment and I was in no mood to discuss all that. So I did what I thought was best.

"Of course I will Kia it's just I need some time," I said to her squeezing her hands trying to tell her that I am fine.

"Okay. But you know I am always here. Whenever you wanna talk we will but make it soon Naina I cannot see you like this and I want to know what is the reason behind all this" She said calmly but I know her better she was dying to know why I am looking so fragile.

"Okay," I said to her and after that she didn't ask me any questions. Darkness surrounded me which I welcomed with open hearts and I slept as she gave me some medicines which made me dizzy......

Next day I was feeling better so I decided to tell her everything and I indeed told her everything. From our love confession to our honeymoon to my promotion and finally of what happened in his office. She was furious and was all ready to give him a call and was also ready to go to India!. In fact, I had to stop her from doing that as if that would have happened I cannot even imagine what the repercussion would be. After that, we didn't talk about Kabir much and I got to know that she doesn't live in this beautiful apartment alone, in fact, she lives in here with Vedh. I must say he is such a sweet heart. She is damn lucky to have him by her side. Right now he was not home and since I was still not feeling well I ended up sleeping again.

I woke up because of the constant ringing of my phone. My heart raced wildly as I thought Kabir might have called me but When I checked it was my mom. Disappointment rushed in and my heart sank. I don't know what was I thinking at that moment as I looked at my phone. Firstly I thought about not answering her call but I answered it anyhow.

"Hello," I said hoarsely. For a moment my mom didn't respond and I was about to cut the call when she broke that silence....

"Naina," my mom said patiently... she wasn't feeling sad or worried in fact more than anything she sounded pissed..

"Mom"

"Where are you Naina," she asked in her normal tone.

"Like you care" I said wryly. I knew I was being mean to her but guess what now a days I have become bitchy more than I ever was.

"Be serious Naina for once in your life and tell me where the hell is you" She snapped and it was more like she demanded an answer...

"Mom I am in toronto," I said lackadaisically. I know she just called me to give me a lecture..

"What the hell Naina! What are you doing there and why aren't you with kabir?" she hissed. Sometimes I don't feel like she is my mom. It feels like she is more like an enemy or a person who just loves to control others life and especially mine. It was just because of her stupid promise I am here all heart broken and this lady was berating me like I am a 5 year old child who doesn't know what to do.

"I can't be with him mom" I said with a surprisingly calm tone. I was feeling a little proud of myself by the way right now.

"Whatever it is Naina you have to sort it out. He is your husband for god's sake! You cannot leave him like this" She said... okay now she was just testing my patience and before I could say anything she continued, "Naina, every couple has some issues or the other that doesn't mean every time you can run.. This is not what I have told you. Naina I don't want to know what happened between you two but one thing which is clear as crystal is that you are coming back and going back to Kabir." she said authoritatively. This did it...

"Mom firstly I am so not coming back to delhi and secondly I am not weak like you.. I am done with Kabir mom and you are no one to tell me what I should do. He broke my trust and I am that women who is not easy.. I am a tough women mom and trust me I will never ever go back to him." I yelled at her and till now I was a mess and was crying profusely... immediately my door opened and Kia instantly came and hugged me hard.

She took my phone and said," Aunty she will talk to you later" without even giving her a chance to reply she cut the call and kissed my forehead...

''Shhh it is okay Naina. Please don't cry. I am here with you" Kia said moving her hands up and down my back in a soothing manner. This is what happens now a days I usually cry, Kia comes and hug me like she is my mother and helps me with everything..

After a few minutes, I was now calm and looked like a mess. My eyes were hurting my head was hurting and not to forget I was all red from all the crying.

"Take some rest Naina," Kia said and helped me get in the bed covering me with a duvet.

"I don't have any idea what I would have done Kia if you were not in Canada" I whispered. She just smiled and kissed my forehead and left switching the lights of my room.

Just for once I wish I could hold him, tell him how much I love him, just for the last time if I could hug him... everything seems so incomplete without Kabir that it was becoming extremely difficult for me to erase him from my memory. He was the only person who was there in my mind, my heart he was everywhere. My mind was clouded with his thoughts, the moments we spent together, his touch, his smile, everything was right there. It was so difficult to live without him but I was trying and with this thought, I drifted to sleep.

The next day when I woke up Kia talked to me and According to Kia, I overreacted. That time I should have listened to Kabir, I was not angry because that crone Avantika kissed Kabir nope I was more hurt that Kabir never shared this part of his life. If I would have known about Avantika I would have never reacted the way I did. This is what Kiara said.. Now that I thought about it all what she said, I think she was right somewhere I know Kabir love me so much that he will never hurt me intentionally and cheating was something on which I can trust him blindly. But still he lied to me that day too when we first met her.

I still love him but the thought of seeing him somebody else scares the s**t out of me!